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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Just Can't Warm Up To...
EchoMom 05:52 PM 10-29-2013
Nevermind. Thanks. 
Heidi 06:00 PM 10-29-2013
the whole potty training thing you are doing yourself makes me go 
...
My sister, on the other hand, who is a daycare provider would be 
.We all do things differently. This child will NOT be a good fit for your program. That's OK!
Just be honest and move onNeither way is right or wrong. Whatever works for YOU. What would be wrong is taking this kiddo just to fill the spot (aka just for the money), and then beating yourself (and the kiddo...not literally) up over it.
It's ok to say NO!
Edited to add: We are also a "baby talk" free household. In that , we agree.
blandino 06:08 PM 10-29-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
Do you ever have an interview with a potential dck that it is just ick at first sight? It's not the kids fault, but do you ever not accept a kid (assuming they do in fact want to choose you) because you just don't foresee yourself bonding with the kid AT ALL?
I can't STAND boys with long hair, MAYBE I'd be okay with a boy with nicely styled long hair. But a 2 year old with straggly thin wispy hair down his neck and face like he just clearly has never had his first hair cut...
If this interview DOES want me, I just don't think I can work with them. Plus, DCB is over 2 and not potty trained whatsoever, stunk up the house with a poopy diaper during interview, and said he wanted a "Ba ba" (bottle of milk).
My own DS is 100% potty trained, he's 2 years and 2 months old. He's 100% in underpants at all times, and stays dry both day and night. He both uses the toilet when I take him, as well as initiates it himself. He is learning to wipe his butt. He can take his own clothes on and off and wash his hands. Why are no other DCKs potty trained, or ever close?! I know why... Because they're at daycare full time and my son isn't. And I've been putting him on the toilet since he was 5 weeks old. I guess I'm expecting way too much from other 2 and 3 year olds to be potty trained and their parents to actually put in the effort?
Sorry, I guess this is more of a vent/lament... Interviews drain me and especially ones that I don't even get excited about afterward...
Anyone relate?
I can totally relate on just feeling like a child doesn't fit. Honestly, I think it is fine to go with that feeling. I have had many times where it just didn't feel right, and I didn't think the parents and children would fit and I just wasn't up for a strained relationship. However, I have also been wrong and some families fit very well that I hadn't imagined at first. Do you ever have an interview with a potential dck that it is just ick at first sight? It's not the kids fault, but do you ever not accept a kid (assuming they do in fact want to choose you) because you just don't foresee yourself bonding with the kid AT ALL?
I can't STAND boys with long hair, MAYBE I'd be okay with a boy with nicely styled long hair. But a 2 year old with straggly thin wispy hair down his neck and face like he just clearly has never had his first hair cut...
If this interview DOES want me, I just don't think I can work with them. Plus, DCB is over 2 and not potty trained whatsoever, stunk up the house with a poopy diaper during interview, and said he wanted a "Ba ba" (bottle of milk).
My own DS is 100% potty trained, he's 2 years and 2 months old. He's 100% in underpants at all times, and stays dry both day and night. He both uses the toilet when I take him, as well as initiates it himself. He is learning to wipe his butt. He can take his own clothes on and off and wash his hands. Why are no other DCKs potty trained, or ever close?! I know why... Because they're at daycare full time and my son isn't. And I've been putting him on the toilet since he was 5 weeks old. I guess I'm expecting way too much from other 2 and 3 year olds to be potty trained and their parents to actually put in the effort?
Sorry, I guess this is more of a vent/lament... Interviews drain me and especially ones that I don't even get excited about afterward...
Anyone relate?
As far as the potty training, my DCK all potty train between 2.5 & 3. Youngest was 29 months, and the oldest was 36 months (not counting my newest enrolled child who was 39 months old when he enrolled and not potty trained - but that is a complete first for me and since ). I personally do think that being in daycare has a lot to do with it. Most of my friends who stay home have children who train right around 2, while my DCK are 2.5 -3. Obviously, there are some exceptions. But I think having 1 one 1 attention will make potty training happen earlier.
Doing EC with your son gave him early exposure which probably helped speed the process along. But that isn't a possibility for kids in daycare, so I think that has a lot to do with it.
I don't think it is unreasonable for a child over 2 to be in diapers though. Most of my 2 year olds are still in diapers.
daycare 06:13 PM 10-29-2013
honest opinion here....judging people regardless of age is a personal hot spot for me. I get judged all the time and would NEVER do it to anyone.
first off, I do think that it is sad that you right away don't like someone because of the way their hair looks...
it's not the kids fault....
Yes, I do think that you are expecting way to much out of a 2 year old to be potty trained, especially 100%. Yes, some kids are, most kids are not at that age.
I am not trying to come down on you, I just think that if more people could see others from the inside and not the outside, this world would be a much better place.
BUT it is your business and you make the calls. If you feel that they are not right for you, then I would kindly decline their request for childcare.
first off, I do think that it is sad that you right away don't like someone because of the way their hair looks...
it's not the kids fault.... Yes, I do think that you are expecting way to much out of a 2 year old to be potty trained, especially 100%. Yes, some kids are, most kids are not at that age.
I am not trying to come down on you, I just think that if more people could see others from the inside and not the outside, this world would be a much better place.
BUT it is your business and you make the calls. If you feel that they are not right for you, then I would kindly decline their request for childcare.
blandino 06:23 PM 10-29-2013
I will also say, that it is a personal pet peeve, when parents keep holding off on that first hair cut for so long and their children have that wispy baby hair that is long and scraggily. Just a personal pet peeve that I can't seem to understand the reasoning behind. Aside from religious reasons of course.
daycare 06:25 PM 10-29-2013
I wanted to say sorry if I came off really strong in my post. Again this is a personal hotspot for me and your post just made me feel sad..
I do know what you mean and if you already know it's not going to work, then that is your choice.
Sorry, I don't want you to think that I was attacking you....
I do know what you mean and if you already know it's not going to work, then that is your choice.
Sorry, I don't want you to think that I was attacking you....
SunnyDay 06:25 PM 10-29-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
honest opinion here....judging people regardless of age is a personal hot spot for me. I get judged all the time and would NEVER do it to anyone.
first off, I do think that it is sad that you right away don't like someone because of the way their hair looks... it's not the kids fault....
Yes, I do think that you are expecting way to much out of a 2 year old to be potty trained, especially 100%. Yes, some kids are, most kids are not at that age.
I am not trying to come down on you, I just think that if more people could see others from the inside and not the outside, this world would be a much better place.
BUT it is your business and you make the calls. If you feel that they are not right for you, then I would kindly decline their request for childcare.
honest opinion here....judging people regardless of age is a personal hot spot for me. I get judged all the time and would NEVER do it to anyone.
first off, I do think that it is sad that you right away don't like someone because of the way their hair looks...
it's not the kids fault.... Yes, I do think that you are expecting way to much out of a 2 year old to be potty trained, especially 100%. Yes, some kids are, most kids are not at that age.
I am not trying to come down on you, I just think that if more people could see others from the inside and not the outside, this world would be a much better place.
BUT it is your business and you make the calls. If you feel that they are not right for you, then I would kindly decline their request for childcare.
My son was not potty trained until 3.5, and it was not from any lack of effort on my part! I am also home with him every day. I don't think that it is at all reasonable to expect every child to be trained at 2.
kateskiddos 06:44 PM 10-29-2013
You just described my 2 year old son. He is not potty trained, he has long wispy hair and he calls his sippy baba.
I am with him every day all day. We continue to work on potty training but he is still not there as are most of my other two year olds I have in care .
As far as his baba goes, he is in speech and I'm proud he's able to express what he wants to me.
And despite what people may think, I love his hair
I am with him every day all day. We continue to work on potty training but he is still not there as are most of my other two year olds I have in care .
As far as his baba goes, he is in speech and I'm proud he's able to express what he wants to me.
And despite what people may think, I love his hair
EchoMom 06:49 PM 10-29-2013
Thanks.
EchoMom 06:55 PM 10-29-2013
Thanks.
Heidi 06:59 PM 10-29-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
I agree about not judging people, but we DO have to make judgements and determinations based on impressions, conversations, and interactions to decide if we want to work with a certain family.
I also agree, and I did say in my post that it's not the child's fault. I don't hold it against HIM. And I did say that if the child has his hair cut and styled as a long cut, that would be much more understandable, but just a scraggly mess... Eh...
Personally, I DO have some OCD issues, specifically about hair. So yes, I personally know my weaknesses and HAIR is one of them. So for that reason alone, it probably is not a good fit. I had another boy who's hair got so long and I kept encouraging the mom to cut it, even put hair in a pony tail. Eventually I just asked her if I could take him for a haircut with my own son to "help her out" and she was appreciative of my generous offer.
It's not so much that HAIR is a reason to exclude, but what the hair demonstrates. For whatever reason, these parents don't SEE that it's a mess and looks ridiculous. For whatever reason they haven't had the desire or time to cut it. For whatever reason, they have not begun working on potty training with him. For whatever reason, they still give him a bottle of milk, and a sippy cup-which we use none of here, sippy cups I mean.
These are just signs that parents who make these choices so different than my own are likely a family I just won't mesh with and it will be hard for me to muster respect and sincerity for them.
It's ok....we're all different!I agree about not judging people, but we DO have to make judgements and determinations based on impressions, conversations, and interactions to decide if we want to work with a certain family.
I also agree, and I did say in my post that it's not the child's fault. I don't hold it against HIM. And I did say that if the child has his hair cut and styled as a long cut, that would be much more understandable, but just a scraggly mess... Eh...
Personally, I DO have some OCD issues, specifically about hair. So yes, I personally know my weaknesses and HAIR is one of them. So for that reason alone, it probably is not a good fit. I had another boy who's hair got so long and I kept encouraging the mom to cut it, even put hair in a pony tail. Eventually I just asked her if I could take him for a haircut with my own son to "help her out" and she was appreciative of my generous offer.
It's not so much that HAIR is a reason to exclude, but what the hair demonstrates. For whatever reason, these parents don't SEE that it's a mess and looks ridiculous. For whatever reason they haven't had the desire or time to cut it. For whatever reason, they have not begun working on potty training with him. For whatever reason, they still give him a bottle of milk, and a sippy cup-which we use none of here, sippy cups I mean.
These are just signs that parents who make these choices so different than my own are likely a family I just won't mesh with and it will be hard for me to muster respect and sincerity for them.
For instance:
My oldest, who wasn't potty trained until he was just 3, had short hair as a toddler, but at 23, has flowing, Fabio auburn curls. He also has an IQ of 140ish, and we NEVER talked baby talk to him. He knew the word "fuchsia" at 3, read at a 4th grade level in kindy, but is still struggling to find his life's work.
I roll my eyes at other people's way of raising kids plenty. I'm old enough to know it's probably best not to knowingly enroll them in my daycare.
Heidi 07:02 PM 10-29-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
Thanks. I did feel it was a little angry, but that's okay I appreciate you clarifying!
Also, I don't mean to expect to much from a 2 year old, but I admit I probably expect too much out of the parents to have done all the things I have done and I THINK others should do. If I only accepted families who have the same philosophies as I do, I wouldn't have any clients because I would never send my child to full time daycare so right off that bat, we are worlds apart in our thinking.
I don't know, first I'll have to see if they even want me, then decide if I can work with them, or just in a tired/poor mood tonight. I probably offended them when I told them my son was completely potty trained day and night... Oops! Also, their jaws dropped when I said our kids don't use sippy cups. Then they saw my son's room and were shocked to see he has a queen bed & box springs (just without a frame) as his bed. I did manage to bite my tongue and NOT say that he's NEVER had a bed EVER. Or a drop of formula EVER. Or a bottle EVER. And I nursed until he was 20 months old. Yeah, I certainly can't expect people to be just like me, because they people that are aren't interested in daycare.
Thanks for listening!
never mind...Thanks. I did feel it was a little angry, but that's okay I appreciate you clarifying!
Also, I don't mean to expect to much from a 2 year old, but I admit I probably expect too much out of the parents to have done all the things I have done and I THINK others should do. If I only accepted families who have the same philosophies as I do, I wouldn't have any clients because I would never send my child to full time daycare so right off that bat, we are worlds apart in our thinking.
I don't know, first I'll have to see if they even want me, then decide if I can work with them, or just in a tired/poor mood tonight. I probably offended them when I told them my son was completely potty trained day and night... Oops! Also, their jaws dropped when I said our kids don't use sippy cups. Then they saw my son's room and were shocked to see he has a queen bed & box springs (just without a frame) as his bed. I did manage to bite my tongue and NOT say that he's NEVER had a bed EVER. Or a drop of formula EVER. Or a bottle EVER. And I nursed until he was 20 months old. Yeah, I certainly can't expect people to be just like me, because they people that are aren't interested in daycare.
Thanks for listening!
blandino 07:06 PM 10-29-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
Thanks. I did feel it was a little angry, but that's okay I appreciate you clarifying!
Also, I don't mean to expect to much from a 2 year old, but I admit I probably expect too much out of the parents to have done all the things I have done and I THINK others should do. If I only accepted families who have the same philosophies as I do, I wouldn't have any clients because I would never send my child to full time daycare so right off that bat, we are worlds apart in our thinking.
I don't know, first I'll have to see if they even want me, then decide if I can work with them, or just in a tired/poor mood tonight. I probably offended them when I told them my son was completely potty trained day and night... Oops! Also, their jaws dropped when I said our kids don't use sippy cups. Then they saw my son's room and were shocked to see he has a queen bed & box springs (just without a frame) as his bed. I did manage to bite my tongue and NOT say that he's NEVER had a bed EVER. Or a drop of formula EVER. Or a bottle EVER. And I nursed until he was 20 months old. Yeah, I certainly can't expect people to be just like me, because they people that are aren't interested in daycare.
Thanks for listening!
I definitely think you are right. A lot of AP parents aren't going to look to put their child in daycare, as you know as much as I do, that practicing AP should mean your are attached - which is hard to do working full-time. And parents who do work full-time probably don't have the time/energy/etc to practice such intensive parenting methods while they are home. Thanks. I did feel it was a little angry, but that's okay I appreciate you clarifying!
Also, I don't mean to expect to much from a 2 year old, but I admit I probably expect too much out of the parents to have done all the things I have done and I THINK others should do. If I only accepted families who have the same philosophies as I do, I wouldn't have any clients because I would never send my child to full time daycare so right off that bat, we are worlds apart in our thinking.
I don't know, first I'll have to see if they even want me, then decide if I can work with them, or just in a tired/poor mood tonight. I probably offended them when I told them my son was completely potty trained day and night... Oops! Also, their jaws dropped when I said our kids don't use sippy cups. Then they saw my son's room and were shocked to see he has a queen bed & box springs (just without a frame) as his bed. I did manage to bite my tongue and NOT say that he's NEVER had a bed EVER. Or a drop of formula EVER. Or a bottle EVER. And I nursed until he was 20 months old. Yeah, I certainly can't expect people to be just like me, because they people that are aren't interested in daycare.
Thanks for listening!
And honestly, the way I run my daycare isn't necessarily how I would do things, if I were a SAHM with my own child. Now, that is easier for me because I don't have my own children in the daycare. I would be much more RIE/montessori.. limited toys - no equipment - delayed introduction of solids/baby led feeding - but in my area that wouldn't build a clientele. So we are a traditional/somewhat montessori preschool, with infant equipment, and solids starting at 6 months.
I know that there are certain red flags that let me know that our philosophies are too different. And that seems like what happened with you today.
I do have to say, and I mean this kindly. You do come off as on a high-horse when talking about the no sippy cups/ cosleeping/ not a drop of formula. I really don't believe that is your intention, but that is how it is coming across.
jenn 07:18 PM 10-29-2013
Go with your gut feeling. I think if we are being honest, we all have our favorites and our ones that we struggle to bond with. Whatever your reasons, if you don't feel like this will be a good fit, keep looking. If the family contacts you to provide care, you can just tell them that the position has already been filled (unless you feel comfortable telling them that you don't think you would be a good fit).
I don't have a problem with not potty trained until age 3. I don't require full potty
training at 3, but want them to at least be working on it. Long hair or weird hairstyles don't bother me. Dirty bothers me. Dirty hair, dirty clothes, dirty coats...
I don't have a problem with not potty trained until age 3. I don't require full potty
training at 3, but want them to at least be working on it. Long hair or weird hairstyles don't bother me. Dirty bothers me. Dirty hair, dirty clothes, dirty coats...
JoseyJo 07:24 PM 10-29-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
Do you ever have an interview with a potential dck that it is just ick at first sight? It's not the kids fault, but do you ever not accept a kid (assuming they do in fact want to choose you) because you just don't foresee yourself bonding with the kid AT ALL?
I can't STAND boys with long hair, MAYBE I'd be okay with a boy with nicely styled long hair. But a 2 year old with straggly thin wispy hair down his neck and face like he just clearly has never had his first hair cut...
If this interview DOES want me, I just don't think I can work with them. Plus, DCB is over 2 and not potty trained whatsoever, stunk up the house with a poopy diaper during interview, and said he wanted a "Ba ba" (bottle of milk).
My own DS is 100% potty trained, he's 2 years and 2 months old. He's 100% in underpants at all times, and stays dry both day and night. He both uses the toilet when I take him, as well as initiates it himself. He is learning to wipe his butt. He can take his own clothes on and off and wash his hands. Why are no other DCKs potty trained, or ever close?! I know why... Because they're at daycare full time and my son isn't. And I've been putting him on the toilet since he was 5 weeks old. I guess I'm expecting way too much from other 2 and 3 year olds to be potty trained and their parents to actually put in the effort?
Sorry, I guess this is more of a vent/lament... Interviews drain me and especially ones that I don't even get excited about afterward...
Anyone relate?
I haven't ever felt wouldn't be able to bond w/ a child. Normally when it's not a good fit for me it's because of the parenting style, severe behavior issues seen during the interview, or incompatibility of their needs/wants vs what we offer.Do you ever have an interview with a potential dck that it is just ick at first sight? It's not the kids fault, but do you ever not accept a kid (assuming they do in fact want to choose you) because you just don't foresee yourself bonding with the kid AT ALL?
I can't STAND boys with long hair, MAYBE I'd be okay with a boy with nicely styled long hair. But a 2 year old with straggly thin wispy hair down his neck and face like he just clearly has never had his first hair cut...
If this interview DOES want me, I just don't think I can work with them. Plus, DCB is over 2 and not potty trained whatsoever, stunk up the house with a poopy diaper during interview, and said he wanted a "Ba ba" (bottle of milk).
My own DS is 100% potty trained, he's 2 years and 2 months old. He's 100% in underpants at all times, and stays dry both day and night. He both uses the toilet when I take him, as well as initiates it himself. He is learning to wipe his butt. He can take his own clothes on and off and wash his hands. Why are no other DCKs potty trained, or ever close?! I know why... Because they're at daycare full time and my son isn't. And I've been putting him on the toilet since he was 5 weeks old. I guess I'm expecting way too much from other 2 and 3 year olds to be potty trained and their parents to actually put in the effort?
Sorry, I guess this is more of a vent/lament... Interviews drain me and especially ones that I don't even get excited about afterward...
Anyone relate?
That being said some of the things you mentioned MAY have been a red flag for me-
Was dcb's hair washed and brushed? If so then I could care less of the style, if it wasn't that would be a sign of incompatible priorities for me.
Were parent's working/thinking about potty training? It could be that they have tried but dcb isn't ready. MOST of the dcbs I have ever had potty train between 2 and 3. One of my sons was PT at 2.5, the other still had accidents at night in K. My daughter was completely trained at 22 mo. Every child is different- and very very few dcproviders would take all their infants/toddlers to the bathroom starting at 5 weeks so I am sure that wasn't an option for them! (do you actually do that for your dcks?, how do you get anything else done if you do that with multiple children??)
Honestly I think it would be very very hard to fill spots if you are holding working parents to those high standards! I am imagining that you have probably never been a working mom (I have never had the opportunity to be a SAHM, I envy you if that is the case!) I do hope you find the right fits for your program though and wish you the best of luck!
cheerfuldom 07:35 PM 10-29-2013
Originally Posted by blandino:
I definitely think you are right. A lot of AP parents aren't going to look to put their child in daycare, as you know as much as I do, that practicing AP should mean your are attached - which is hard to do working full-time. And parents who do work full-time probably don't have the time/energy/etc to practice such intensive parenting methods while they are home.
And honestly, the way I run my daycare isn't necessarily how I would do things, if I were a SAHM with my own child. Now, that is easier for me because I don't have my own children in the daycare. I would be much more RIE/montessori.. limited toys - no equipment - delayed introduction of solids/baby led feeding - but in my area that wouldn't build a clientele. So we are a traditional/somewhat montessori preschool, with infant equipment, and solids starting at 6 months.
I know that there are certain red flags that let me know that our philosophies are too different. And that seems like what happened with you today.
I do have to say, and I mean this kindly. You do come off as on a high-horse when talking about the no sippy cups/ cosleeping/ not a drop of formula. I really don't believe that is your intention, but that is how it is coming across.
agree on the bolded. I definitely think you are right. A lot of AP parents aren't going to look to put their child in daycare, as you know as much as I do, that practicing AP should mean your are attached - which is hard to do working full-time. And parents who do work full-time probably don't have the time/energy/etc to practice such intensive parenting methods while they are home.
And honestly, the way I run my daycare isn't necessarily how I would do things, if I were a SAHM with my own child. Now, that is easier for me because I don't have my own children in the daycare. I would be much more RIE/montessori.. limited toys - no equipment - delayed introduction of solids/baby led feeding - but in my area that wouldn't build a clientele. So we are a traditional/somewhat montessori preschool, with infant equipment, and solids starting at 6 months.
I know that there are certain red flags that let me know that our philosophies are too different. And that seems like what happened with you today.
I do have to say, and I mean this kindly. You do come off as on a high-horse when talking about the no sippy cups/ cosleeping/ not a drop of formula. I really don't believe that is your intention, but that is how it is coming across.
i think you may change a lot as you add to your own family. if I remember right, you have one child right OP?
My first child was full potty trained day and night by 26 months. She had a small potty in her room and would get up at night to go and would wipe herself and go back to bed on her own.
my second struggled so much. same parenting styles (and yes, I "AP" although I don't like labels....) she STILL has occasional accidents at 4.5 years old! She was in trainers or padded underwear options till close to 4.
my third is rounding the corner to 2.5. we have tried some introductions to potty training and she is very resistant but she is also physically delayed. she didnt start walking until 18 months and didnt start running till over 2 years old. getting on and off the potty is very challenging and scary for her. it will be a miracle if she is potty trained before 3 years old.
EVERY kid is different. It has nothing to do with what parenting techniques you use. Yes there are some that seem to make more sense than others but there is no perfect way to parent. no techniques that reach every child. no standards that every kid is going to reach.
I really think that you are being too hard on other parents, or at least that is the way your post is coming across. I am a huge supporter of co sleeping, breast feeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, natural birth, etc, but the reason why I dont use the AP label is because the label has a bad connotation. people think of superior moms that judge working moms, formula feeding moms, parents that choose to crib sleep, etc. the term excludes others as if there is only one way to be an attached, responsive, bonded parent.
AP type parents do look for childcare. They want providers that are long term and able to bond with their child and provide as close to as possible what they are getting at home. I work for parents like this. No I cannot breastfeed their child but I can bond with them. I can't co sleep but I can make sure their sleeping environment is peaceful. I do wear infants, offering cloth diapering services and I would EC a daycare kid too although no one has ever asked.
I am with Daycare on this one....too much judgment coming from your posts. I hope that is just me reading the tone on the messages incorrectly and not really how you are intending to come across. I think with time you will see that there are many effective ways to nurturing and connecting with kids outside of strict AP standards. AP standards are wonderful parenting tools but by far, not the only tools in the toolbox. just something to think about. I think you should give parents and kids a chance to prove your impression wrong. It was just a hair cut (which will probably be cut soon or you can put it in a pony at daycare) , just a sippy or bottle (which you dont have to use at daycare) and an un potty trained 2 year old (super common). Seems like all things that can be overcome easily and if you gain a family that pays their bills, treats you respectfully and a child that can be a great addition to your group, that sounds pretty good to me.
EchoMom 08:46 PM 10-29-2013
Thanks.
Laurel 09:00 PM 10-29-2013
The world is filled with wonderful, smart and caring people who were bottle fed, wore disposable diapers, were fed solids as early as 8 weeks old, weren't potty trained until they were 3, used any equipment that made their parents' lives easier like swings and playpens (yes, they called them pens). Oh and didn't read until first grade.
Wait, I think those were my 3 now grown children....
I just can't get over sometimes how each generation thinks they have the edge on the best parenting techniques yet everyone turns out just fine. Who really cares when a child potty trains as long as it isn't 10 years old?
Laurel
P.S. Whew, that felt good to get that out. I've been wanting to say that for a long time.
Wait, I think those were my 3 now grown children....
I just can't get over sometimes how each generation thinks they have the edge on the best parenting techniques yet everyone turns out just fine. Who really cares when a child potty trains as long as it isn't 10 years old?
Laurel
P.S. Whew, that felt good to get that out. I've been wanting to say that for a long time.
se7en 09:12 PM 10-29-2013
Can I ask, what is wrong with sippy cups ?
JoseyJo 09:15 PM 10-29-2013
We are all such different people, and providers! It is a good thing there are parents out there who need/want what we each have to offer. Sometimes when I hear different provider philosophies I am like but I am sure that some of you think that of how I run mine too!!!
but I am sure that some of you think that of how I run mine too!!!
Josiegirl 03:25 AM 10-30-2013
And may I ask...exactly what do you do with a 5 week old on the potty? They can hardly hold their head up. Just curious?
EchoMom 05:52 AM 10-30-2013
Good question. Look up elimination communication on YouTube and you'll be quite surprised! And yes, there is a certain way to safely hold tiny babies over a potty. It get much easier when the baby is old enough to sit unaided. My DS was able to sit on the toilet ring himself when he was six months old, then I didn't have to hold him, just make sure he didn't fall.
Leanna 06:18 AM 10-30-2013
On a personal note, I wouldn't leave my child with a provider who had such contempt for parents who use child care. This whole thread made me sad.
Play Care 06:24 AM 10-30-2013
Originally Posted by Laurel:
The world is filled with wonderful, smart and caring people who were bottle fed, wore disposable diapers, were fed solids as early as 8 weeks old, weren't potty trained until they were 3, used any equipment that made their parents' lives easier like swings and playpens (yes, they called them pens). Oh and didn't read until first grade.
Wait, I think those were my 3 now grown children....
I just can't get over sometimes how each generation thinks they have the edge on the best parenting techniques yet everyone turns out just fine. Who really cares when a child potty trains as long as it isn't 10 years old?
Laurel
P.S. Whew, that felt good to get that out. I've been wanting to say that for a long time.
The world is filled with wonderful, smart and caring people who were bottle fed, wore disposable diapers, were fed solids as early as 8 weeks old, weren't potty trained until they were 3, used any equipment that made their parents' lives easier like swings and playpens (yes, they called them pens). Oh and didn't read until first grade.
Wait, I think those were my 3 now grown children....
I just can't get over sometimes how each generation thinks they have the edge on the best parenting techniques yet everyone turns out just fine. Who really cares when a child potty trains as long as it isn't 10 years old?
Laurel
P.S. Whew, that felt good to get that out. I've been wanting to say that for a long time.
Blackcat31 06:42 AM 10-30-2013
Originally Posted by blandino:
I will also say, that it is a personal pet peeve, when parents keep holding off on that first hair cut for so long and their children have that wispy baby hair that is long and scraggily. Just a personal pet peeve that I can't seem to understand the reasoning behind. Aside from religious reasons of course.
Because cutting my two years olds curls off meant the end of an "age" or time as a mother that I personally wasn't ready to let go off. I will also say, that it is a personal pet peeve, when parents keep holding off on that first hair cut for so long and their children have that wispy baby hair that is long and scraggily. Just a personal pet peeve that I can't seem to understand the reasoning behind. Aside from religious reasons of course.
Because his long, fine, wispy baby hair meant my baby was not a baby anymore and because I knew that I wasn't going to have another one so I needed him to stay little just a little longer.....
I had already missed out on so many moments (I was a working outside the home then) that I couldn't bear to let that part of his babyhood go. I just couldn't.
Instead, I reveled in his baby-ness a little longer, inhaled his baby-scent deeply as his wild and crazy wisps (that were becoming scraggily and unmanageable) brushed across my face while snuggling with him ....just a little longer....
Cradle2crayons 06:48 AM 10-30-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Because cutting my two years olds curls off meant the end of an "age" or time as a mother that I personally wasn't ready to let go off.
Because his long, fine, wispy baby hair meant my baby was not a baby anymore and because I knew that I wasn't going to have another one so I needed him to stay little just a little longer.....
I had already missed out on so many moments (I was a working outside the home then) that I couldn't bear to let that part of his babyhood go. I just couldn't.
Instead, I reveled in his baby-ness a little longer, inhaled his baby-scent deeply as his wild and crazy wisps (that were becoming scraggily and unmanageable) brushed across my face while snuggling with him ....just a little longer....
I so totally get exactly what you mean. I had a full time girl who is now drop in due to parents relocating farther away. She's almost two. Her hair is so bad she literally can't even see to walk. It's over her ears, her eyes, etc. I finally started pulling it back with a pony tail. She's a first and only baby and I do get it. They don't baby her but mom said she just couldn't bring herself to do the first cut yet. And I know where she's coming from. So my only peeve related to this is that the walking child really needs to be able to see lol. But other than that I could care less how long their hair gets. LolBecause cutting my two years olds curls off meant the end of an "age" or time as a mother that I personally wasn't ready to let go off.
Because his long, fine, wispy baby hair meant my baby was not a baby anymore and because I knew that I wasn't going to have another one so I needed him to stay little just a little longer.....
I had already missed out on so many moments (I was a working outside the home then) that I couldn't bear to let that part of his babyhood go. I just couldn't.
Instead, I reveled in his baby-ness a little longer, inhaled his baby-scent deeply as his wild and crazy wisps (that were becoming scraggily and unmanageable) brushed across my face while snuggling with him ....just a little longer....
Unregistered 07:00 AM 10-30-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Because cutting my two years olds curls off meant the end of an "age" or time as a mother that I personally wasn't ready to let go off.
Because his long, fine, wispy baby hair meant my baby was not a baby anymore and because I knew that I wasn't going to have another one so I needed him to stay little just a little longer.....
I had already missed out on so many moments (I was a working outside the home then) that I couldn't bear to let that part of his babyhood go. I just couldn't.
Instead, I reveled in his baby-ness a little longer, inhaled his baby-scent deeply as his wild and crazy wisps (that were becoming scraggily and unmanageable) brushed across my face while snuggling with him ....just a little longer....
Because cutting my two years olds curls off meant the end of an "age" or time as a mother that I personally wasn't ready to let go off.
Because his long, fine, wispy baby hair meant my baby was not a baby anymore and because I knew that I wasn't going to have another one so I needed him to stay little just a little longer.....
I had already missed out on so many moments (I was a working outside the home then) that I couldn't bear to let that part of his babyhood go. I just couldn't.
Instead, I reveled in his baby-ness a little longer, inhaled his baby-scent deeply as his wild and crazy wisps (that were becoming scraggily and unmanageable) brushed across my face while snuggling with him ....just a little longer....
Agree!!!!
MyAngels 07:37 AM 10-30-2013
Originally Posted by Laurel:
The world is filled with wonderful, smart and caring people who were bottle fed, wore disposable diapers, were fed solids as early as 8 weeks old, weren't potty trained until they were 3, used any equipment that made their parents' lives easier like swings and playpens (yes, they called them pens). Oh and didn't read until first grade.
Wait, I think those were my 3 now grown children....
I just can't get over sometimes how each generation thinks they have the edge on the best parenting techniques yet everyone turns out just fine. Who really cares when a child potty trains as long as it isn't 10 years old?
Laurel
P.S. Whew, that felt good to get that out. I've been wanting to say that for a long time.
The world is filled with wonderful, smart and caring people who were bottle fed, wore disposable diapers, were fed solids as early as 8 weeks old, weren't potty trained until they were 3, used any equipment that made their parents' lives easier like swings and playpens (yes, they called them pens). Oh and didn't read until first grade.
Wait, I think those were my 3 now grown children....
I just can't get over sometimes how each generation thinks they have the edge on the best parenting techniques yet everyone turns out just fine. Who really cares when a child potty trains as long as it isn't 10 years old?
Laurel
P.S. Whew, that felt good to get that out. I've been wanting to say that for a long time.
My 3 too, FTR
crazydaycarelady 07:46 AM 10-30-2013
I haven't had time to read all of the responses but I just wanted to say: I once knew the second I opened the door that I would not be able to work with this woman standing on my porch. First impressions DO make a difference and I could tell by looking that she was uptight. I continued with the interview and of course we did not hit it off. I sometimes wish I had just said good-bye to her at the door! LOL
Heidi 07:51 AM 10-30-2013
I just wanted to say that the reason I changed my answer to "never mind" was because I started typing a long (and kind) response, but then got interrupted and since I couldn't finish it, I changed it to never mind.
I didn't think you were being judgy. Well, any more than I am at times. I roll my eyes when I see 3 year old carrying bottles, or 5 year olds dragging blankets. Is it wrong? well...I don't know. It wouldn't be a good fit for my program, that's for sure, though.
I didn't think you were being judgy. Well, any more than I am at times. I roll my eyes when I see 3 year old carrying bottles, or 5 year olds dragging blankets. Is it wrong? well...I don't know. It wouldn't be a good fit for my program, that's for sure, though.
EchoMom 08:12 AM 10-30-2013
Thanks Heidi!
christine19720 08:17 AM 10-30-2013
Originally Posted by Laurel:
The world is filled with wonderful, smart and caring people who were bottle fed, wore disposable diapers, were fed solids as early as 8 weeks old, weren't potty trained until they were 3, used any equipment that made their parents' lives easier like swings and playpens (yes, they called them pens). Oh and didn't read until first grade.
Wait, I think those were my 3 now grown children....
I just can't get over sometimes how each generation thinks they have the edge on the best parenting techniques yet everyone turns out just fine. Who really cares when a child potty trains as long as it isn't 10 years old?
Laurel
P.S. Whew, that felt good to get that out. I've been wanting to say that for a long time.
The world is filled with wonderful, smart and caring people who were bottle fed, wore disposable diapers, were fed solids as early as 8 weeks old, weren't potty trained until they were 3, used any equipment that made their parents' lives easier like swings and playpens (yes, they called them pens). Oh and didn't read until first grade.
Wait, I think those were my 3 now grown children....
I just can't get over sometimes how each generation thinks they have the edge on the best parenting techniques yet everyone turns out just fine. Who really cares when a child potty trains as long as it isn't 10 years old?
Laurel
P.S. Whew, that felt good to get that out. I've been wanting to say that for a long time.
Once they are grown, it makes no difference...........Gasp!!!
JoseyJo 11:51 AM 10-30-2013
Originally Posted by Leanna:
On a personal note, I wouldn't leave my child with a provider who had such contempt for parents who use child care. This whole thread made me sad.
I was thinking the same thing, but didn't want to say it. I hope that it is just coming off that way in writing and it is not truly that way in person. On a personal note, I wouldn't leave my child with a provider who had such contempt for parents who use child care. This whole thread made me sad.
I was a working mom and sent my children to daycare until they started school. I didn't start doing daycare until my youngest was in 5th grade. Working parents have A LOT on their shoulders! Truly they do. Not that being a SAH or WAH mom is easier, but is is something that we are blessed to be able to choose. Some people do not, or feel that they do not have the choice to SAH or WAH.
When I read this post I kept imagining what it would be like as a dcparent to read this post and learn that my child was going to a provider that thought like this
Sugar Magnolia 01:55 PM 10-30-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
Nevermind. Thanks.
First off.....this thread was so hard to follow because you edited your posts down to nothing. Luckily someone quoted you or it would be unreadable. In the future, please don't do this as it is childish and super annoying. Now.....with that said......Nevermind. Thanks.
I get what you are saying, you didn't think the child was a good fit and didn't like the parents AND THAT'S OK! Like crazydaycare said, I too have taken an instant dislike to parents at interviews. There is nothing wrong with that. I don't think you were overtly judgmental either, and I don't see "contempt" here either. My only critique is you seem to feel all kids should be potty trained by 2 and it's a tad unrealistic. But overall, I don't think you are out of line for saying it's not a good fit. In fact, bravo for not taking them on and recognizing you don't agree with their parenting style.
Please don't edit posts to nothing though. Life doesn't work that way and neither does the internet.
blandino 08:42 PM 10-30-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Because cutting my two years olds curls off meant the end of an "age" or time as a mother that I personally wasn't ready to let go off.
Because his long, fine, wispy baby hair meant my baby was not a baby anymore and because I knew that I wasn't going to have another one so I needed him to stay little just a little longer.....
I had already missed out on so many moments (I was a working outside the home then) that I couldn't bear to let that part of his babyhood go. I just couldn't.
Instead, I reveled in his baby-ness a little longer, inhaled his baby-scent deeply as his wild and crazy wisps (that were becoming scraggily and unmanageable) brushed across my face while snuggling with him ....just a little longer....
I can totally understand holding onto the baby curls. I should have specified and maybe added pictures Because cutting my two years olds curls off meant the end of an "age" or time as a mother that I personally wasn't ready to let go off.
Because his long, fine, wispy baby hair meant my baby was not a baby anymore and because I knew that I wasn't going to have another one so I needed him to stay little just a little longer.....
I had already missed out on so many moments (I was a working outside the home then) that I couldn't bear to let that part of his babyhood go. I just couldn't.
Instead, I reveled in his baby-ness a little longer, inhaled his baby-scent deeply as his wild and crazy wisps (that were becoming scraggily and unmanageable) brushed across my face while snuggling with him ....just a little longer....
I have some children whose hair literally looks like a rat's nest on the back of their heads and parents use very similar excuses. There is a line between wispy, wild, baby hair and something that looks absolutely ridiculous and unkept. And I am not exaggerating, when I say I had a child with a rat-tail 5 inches long before parents cut the "tail", and a child whose hair actually looked like a brillo pad in back by the time they cut it. Being sentimental I get, but I am talking some extreme cases.
Unregistered 11:46 AM 10-31-2013
Wow echo mom get off your high horse. The way this reads is you feel that you are better than everyone because your child was on the potty at 5 weeks and night time trained by 2 and your child never had a drop of formula. Really???? That doesn't make a you a better parent then anyone else. Some moms are physically not ale to breast feed due to surgery or medication or any other numerous reasons. Some children are physically not capable of being night time trained until they are between 3-5. Some children are not mature enough to potty train at 2. Some parents don't think it's a big deal for their kid to call a bottle a baba and (gasp) use a soppy cup. Some parents actually take the time to enjoy their kids being kids and don't sweat the small stuff. Being a toddler isn't a competition. It makes me so sad that parents like you can be so judgemental of other parents and kids.
Kids often do things at their own time. Yes parents can and should help their kids to meet milestones and move onto the next step- but really a lot of the time, no matter how hard a parent tries to get their kid to do something- the kid may just not be ready.
I would never place my kid with a daycare provider like you. I would want my provider to be understanding of different abilities and choices.
Life isn't always a race. My kid is almost 3 and almost 100% potty trained. And you know what, just because yours was trained by 2 he or she is no better. I'm sorry that you feel that way.
Kids often do things at their own time. Yes parents can and should help their kids to meet milestones and move onto the next step- but really a lot of the time, no matter how hard a parent tries to get their kid to do something- the kid may just not be ready.
I would never place my kid with a daycare provider like you. I would want my provider to be understanding of different abilities and choices.
Life isn't always a race. My kid is almost 3 and almost 100% potty trained. And you know what, just because yours was trained by 2 he or she is no better. I'm sorry that you feel that way.