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  #1  
Old 01-06-2011, 06:28 PM
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Default Screamer Is Still Screaming

Ive had screamer now for one solid week. He is a wreck. Part of the problem is that he is tired. He is 13 months old and normally naps at home twice a day. I tried giving him an a.m nap but the problem is that he wont take the afternoon nap when the others do because its too soon after he gets up from his own nap. So Im having to keep him up until everyone else naps. It was so bad today I had to take something for my headache; and I rarely ever get headaches. He will NOT let me leave the room! If I leave even his sight, he screams like he's being murdered. Today I put him in the high chair to feed him and the door bell rang. I let my husband take over the feeding (he knows my husband as well as he knows me) and as soon as I walked away, he screamed and through such a fit that he was choking on his food and gasping for air. He cries real tears too. He flings everything off the tray and will not be consoled at all. If I sit on the floor or on the couch in the room he is in, he's completely happy with laughter and smiles! If I get up to leave, its over. I dont know if Im going to be able to take much more of it. I asked the parents today if other providers have complained about this and they said that nobody has ever really given any feedback on what or how he does while in their care. Weird. They dont ask questions about what he does all day, I guess? We really need the money right now so Im holding on to see if he calms down. Its only been a week but when you're in it, it feels like I want to just call up mom and have them take him home!
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Old 01-06-2011, 07:56 PM
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Have you tried putting him down for a.m. nap early and not letting him sleep for more than 30-60 minutes? My screamer was 14mos and I would put him down for morning nap at 8:30-9:00 and get him up no later than 10am. That way he would be ready for pm nap between 1 and 2. Since you've only had him a week, it sounds like a bit of separation anxiety. If you can stand it, you will probably want to give it a few more weeks to see if he settles down. However, he might not - mine had been here since he was 7 weeks old, and developed the screaming/no napping around a year old. I understand needing the money, but if you really can't stand it, term him. I was at the point where I really didn't like my job, wasn't sure I even liked kids anymore and couldn't wait to be done. I would be counting days til Friday starting on Monday! I hated my job. Then my screamer left. Guess what.....I love my job again! I wake up ready for the day and happy. I just this evening realized it was Thursday, and I hadn't counted the days to Friday at all this week! The week has flown by and I've enjoyed it. So, do what you have to do to make you happy. I took a financial loss with this one, but we'll make it. I would gladly trade the money for my sanity and happiness!
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Old 01-07-2011, 02:33 AM
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I have an 18 month old, Mom and I decided after the first of the year we were going to start just one nap per day so that hopefully he will sleep better at night. This is our first week, the first part of the week wasn't to terribly bad, he had a meltdown period around 10 but then got over it and I was able to keep him up until 12 - 12:30. As the week has gone on it has gotten worse and worse, yesterday was one revolving tantrum. Today he is getting a 2 naps, I might shorten the morning one up a bit but we are not going to have a repeat of yesterday today. It's not fair to him, the other kids or me to have to go through that just because he's tired.

I would suggest giving your little guy the morning nap a bit earlier than you have been and maybe waking him up if he needs to sleep at the same time in the afternoon as the other kids. Does he sleep in the same room in the afternoon as the other kids? Mine can pretty much all sleep in different rooms so it doesn't matter if one is up when the others are down, I would like them to all sleep at the same time but when the littles aren't quite for nap one a day sometimes it happens.
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Old 01-07-2011, 06:20 AM
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I have also had screamers like that and I go crazy also. I do a couple of things. I only take up to 2-3 kids, so I don't have that many others to deal with. Sometimes I will put them down for their a.m nap and if they scream, I just let them scream it out and finally they do go to sleep, it may take awhile. I just close the door and go in another room and try to ignore it. Sometimes they do scream bloody murder,then I will just peek in and see what they are doing and if they are just laying there and nothing seems wrong, I just close the door again, if they know I am peeking on them, they will just keep crying even more.
Do you have a pack & Play that you can use to put the child in at nap time? I use p&p's a lot for naps until they are old enough to sleep on a big bed. What I have done sometimes with a new child is put the pack and play at nap time in the room that I will be in for awhile, like maybe if I am going to be in the kitchen for awhile or living room cleaning while they take naps and then they can see me and feel comfortable enough to go to sleep. It does work. Otherwise I have just tried to wait it out for a few months until the child gets more comfortable with me and quits the screaming, which will happen.
I feel for you because I know what your going through and it is not easy.
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Old 01-07-2011, 07:42 AM
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Thanks for the suggestions. I have my daycare in my downstairs of my townhouse. All three pnp's are in the same room as I only have two main rooms down there to use. The other is used to eat and do crafts in. He gets here in the morning at 6:30. I tried putting him down at about 8am-9am but when the others go down for their naps at 11:30am, he wont go because he isnt tired. He usually gets an afternoon nap at 2 or 3 o'clock at home. My daycare kids all nap from 11:30-1:30ish. Ive tried holding off and laying them down later but they are all tired by 11:30.

Today, though, he was MUCH better. He must've heard me talking about him! LOL! He hasnt cried nearly as much when I leave the room today. Its wierd but Im not complaining, thats for sure. He did start getting tired around 11am but held out nicely until the others went down for naps. So far so good. Everyone just went down now and the house is completely quiet.

Maybe he's adjusting.
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Old 01-07-2011, 08:27 AM
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I have a condo and I use one room just for the babies to sleep in. I do think you should leave him up until 11:30. IMO children after 1 year really should be taking one nap. I had a screamer here, it took her over a month to adjust.! I would get migraines from her crying and I could still hear the crying even after she left. I only have 2 dcks and then my own but I can't hold her all day. She now enjoys exploring on the floor and playing. I can also leave the room without her breaking down. She was on two naps before she came and it took a bit but shes happy now with one nap and naps longer. I guess it depends on your group but the kids here all eat lunch at 11:30 and then nap by 12. I've heard of naps not being until 1pm. I know when mine were in daycare that was just way too late for them. She will adjust

Can you use another room for napping? In MD naps can take place on one floor above or below you
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Old 01-07-2011, 04:06 PM
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The daycare is my entire downstairs. I do not want the daycare children intruding on any of the rooms upstairs where we live and our kids rooms are, etc. I dont think thats fair to them. So I have a front living room area downstairs that is the main playroom and the dining room is where we eat and do crafts. The pnp's are in the main play area in the front. There is no where else to put them. I agree that he should be on one nap a day too. It seemed to work good today. I think its alot to adjust to for him. A new place, new nap schedule, eating real food and not baby food for every meal, etc. I think he will adjust in time too. Just gives me such a headache to have to listen to the screaming all day.
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Old 01-07-2011, 04:52 PM
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I have a screamer right now too. Hes adjusting to being here part time and not doing so well. My house has three levels with the front room on the second level as my daycare and we have a camera set up that I have access to on my Iphone and net book. I place him in there and when hes quiet I dont dare peek at him because holy cow its back to square one so the camera has come in handy multiple times. If he so much hears me start laundry upstairs or cough youd think he was being attacked. I keep saying "it will get better it will get better". I need the money too but a portion of that check his mom gives me goes to some good ol sevenska red wine lol.

Good luck. If all else fails I have a nice bottle here to share...
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Old 01-07-2011, 04:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Erin's Daycare View Post
I have a screamer right now too. Hes adjusting to being here part time and not doing so well. My house has three levels with the front room on the second level as my daycare and we have a camera set up that I have access to on my Iphone and net book. I place him in there and when hes quiet I dont dare peek at him because holy cow its back to square one so the camera has come in handy multiple times. If he so much hears me start laundry upstairs or cough youd think he was being attacked. I keep saying "it will get better it will get better". I need the money too but a portion of that check his mom gives me goes to some good ol sevenska red wine lol.

Good luck. If all else fails I have a nice bottle here to share...
Sounds like a good idea. I just had my glass of wine! I feel for all you, I have been through the same thing.
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Old 01-07-2011, 05:04 PM
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[quote=Greenshadow;69787]The daycare is my entire downstairs. I do not want the daycare children intruding on any of the rooms upstairs where we live and our kids rooms are, etc. I dont think thats fair to them. So I have a front living room area downstairs that is the main playroom and the dining room is where we eat and do crafts. The pnp's are in the main play area in the front. There is no where else to put them. I agree that he should be on one nap a day too. It seemed to work good today. I think its alot to adjust to for him. A new place, new nap schedule, eating real food and not baby food for every meal, etc. I think he will adjust in time too. Just gives me such a headache to have to listen to the screaming all day.[/
I so wish I didn't have to use our upstairs at all!!!
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Old 01-07-2011, 05:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Sounds like a good idea. I just had my glass of wine! I feel for all you, I have been through the same thing.
And we all keep trucking through! I love this forum because everyone goes through all of this and I never feel like Im talking to air.
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Old 01-08-2011, 08:32 AM
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My perfect angel 2 1/2 year old dc boy screamed all day the first few days he was here in the beginning (age 15 months)....he continued to scream through most naps for about a month. I just kept to the set schedule....no variation. Now he naps no fuss at all EVER and is so very, very, very good. Glad I didn't throw in the towel after 3 weeks.

By contrast the screamer I termed last month had been with me all last school year everything was great. Came back a totally different kiddo!! I suspect that the parents held her all summer. When I spoke to the mom about teaching baby (then age 17 months) to self sooth...mom had no idea what I was talking about and I can say for sure that they never let her fuss for more than 2 seconds..... Slept great..but nap time was the only time she wasn't screaming!!!....I held out for 4 months and am so glad she isn't here anymore.

My point is...it can be hard to tell after just one week what the temperament of the child is.
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Old 01-08-2011, 08:59 AM
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In order to get him on the same nap schedule as the others, you are going to have to back up the afternoon nap for all. Don't try to do it all at once. Move lunch and nap back about 15 min, every couple of days, move it back another 10-15 min. When you get it to the time you want, stop. They kids will be adjusted. It did this with mine.

I have 2.5 yo, 1 yo, 9 mo, and 5 mo. The 9 mo and 5 mo, nap from 9-10. All 4 nap from 1 to 3. Lunch is around 12-12:30 each day.
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Old 01-08-2011, 10:47 AM
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Here's my problem I have a room that all the kids nap in, EXCEPT I can't put my almost 12 mo old in there because he screams during nap, so that means I have to use another room in our house for him to nap, I hate doing that because we purposely did the addition on our house for my daycare and I still have to use another bedroom, his naps are so different, now he's just whining the whole nap time, before his naps varied so he would wake up all the other kids. What do you guys do in that situation? I've tried leaving the kids in there but they complain, I can't fall asleep ect.
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Old 01-08-2011, 12:05 PM
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Tender heart...I would keep him on the EXACT same schedule as everyone else no matter what.... and put him down in the other room.
Pick a schedule that makes sense to you and stick to it.
Good Luck!
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Old 01-08-2011, 03:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Erin's Daycare View Post
I have a screamer right now too. Hes adjusting to being here part time and not doing so well. My house has three levels with the front room on the second level as my daycare and we have a camera set up that I have access to on my Iphone and net book. I place him in there and when hes quiet I dont dare peek at him because holy cow its back to square one so the camera has come in handy multiple times. If he so much hears me start laundry upstairs or cough youd think he was being attacked. I keep saying "it will get better it will get better". I need the money too but a portion of that check his mom gives me goes to some good ol sevenska red wine lol.

Good luck. If all else fails I have a nice bottle here to share...
What kind of camera system do you use???
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