Thriftylady 05:15 PM 05-08-2015
Ok so the one DCM I have right now has ticked me off. She starred in Feb. with her two SA kids before and after school care. I gave her an awesome rate of $40 a week. Sometimes they come before school, not always bus stop is in my yard. They are always here after school, up until contracted time of 5:30 PM even when mom is off work, but it is contracted hours. Payment is due on Fridays, but I have let this family slide and pay on Monday or Tuesday. So two weeks ago I gave a notice saying that they had to follow policy. So last week on Friday they asked if they could pay Monday after I sent mom a text reminding her that the policies would now be enforced. They asked if they paid Monday did they have to pay on Friday? UM yes. Well mom told me Wednesday that dad doesn't help pay the bills, but he gets paid on Friday and would pay today. Well mom picks up today and no mention than payment at all. So she picks up at 5:30 not a word about payment. So I text at 6:30 that late fees of $10 per day would begin at 7. I have heard nothing.
Mom gave two weeks notice today, because she has told the state that dad still isn't living with her (they are divorced) and she is going to get summer care at a center for $11 a week. So I guess I don't feel bad about starting the late fees, I have given them a country mile. DH says I should report her for welfare fraud since they are getting food stamps and now daycare based on mom's income and dad supposedly not living there. So should I report her? I guess DH and I feel like we work our butts off to try to survive with no help (our income was $30,000 last year), DD does get medicaid but we pay our insurance.
I feel like a B for even considering terming or charging late fees, much less turning her in. What would you do?
sharlan 05:38 PM 05-08-2015
If you know for a fact that she's abusing the system, then yes, report her.
daycare 05:41 PM 05-08-2015
I would and have. I had a dcm that was abusing the system, openly admitted it to me in an email. So I had proof. I termed her and at the same time turned her in. I don't know what happen with the state and my fraud report, they left and never made contact with me again which I was really happy about...
Thriftylady 05:42 PM 05-08-2015
Originally Posted by sharlan:
If you know for a fact that she's abusing the system, then yes, report her.
Well she told me she is. She said "we are not back together on paper". I asked "are they still taking child support?" She said "yes because I have not told them otherwise because he doesn't give me any money, and we use the child support money for our gas to work".
Josiegirl 04:19 AM 05-09-2015
$11 a week? For the 2 of them? She's got to be lying to you about that. Is she receiving state subsidy for the kids? I cannot wrap my head around that. That's pennies. I know your area charges lower rates than I've ever heard of but that's ridiculous.
Is your cost of living extremely low in your area?
And yes, if you have proof, I'd report. Even if you don't have proof, wouldn't they investigate it and find out for themselves?
Thriftylady 06:13 AM 05-09-2015
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
$11 a week? For the 2 of them? She's got to be lying to you about that. Is she receiving state subsidy for the kids? I cannot wrap my head around that. That's pennies. I know your area charges lower rates than I've ever heard of but that's ridiculous. Is your cost of living extremely low in your area?
And yes, if you have proof, I'd report. Even if you don't have proof, wouldn't they investigate it and find out for themselves?
The $11 a week will be with the state subsidy paying the rest. That will be her co pay. I don't have proof, other than what she told me. I am not even sure the state will really check, I don't know how that works. I guess it just irks me to see honest people struggle and then see people do things like this.
Mandy 07:16 AM 05-09-2015
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Ok so the one DCM I have right now has ticked me off. She starred in Feb. with her two SA kids before and after school care. I gave her an awesome rate of $40 a week. Sometimes they come before school, not always bus stop is in my yard. They are always here after school, up until contracted time of 5:30 PM even when mom is off work, but it is contracted hours. Payment is due on Fridays, but I have let this family slide and pay on Monday or Tuesday. So two weeks ago I gave a notice saying that they had to follow policy. So last week on Friday they asked if they could pay Monday after I sent mom a text reminding her that the policies would now be enforced. They asked if they paid Monday did they have to pay on Friday? UM yes. Well mom told me Wednesday that dad doesn't help pay the bills, but he gets paid on Friday and would pay today. Well mom picks up today and no mention than payment at all. So she picks up at 5:30 not a word about payment. So I text at 6:30 that late fees of $10 per day would begin at 7. I have heard nothing.
Mom gave two weeks notice today, because she has told the state that dad still isn't living with her (they are divorced) and she is going to get summer care at a center for $11 a week. So I guess I don't feel bad about starting the late fees, I have given them a country mile. DH says I should report her for welfare fraud since they are getting food stamps and now daycare based on mom's income and dad supposedly not living there. So should I report her? I guess DH and I feel like we work our butts off to try to survive with no help (our income was $30,000 last year), DD does get medicaid but we pay our insurance.
I feel like a B for even considering terming or charging late fees, much less turning her in. What would you do?
First of all, no you are not a B
. You are doing what is right which is enforcing your policies
. Listen to your gut feeling if you think they are abusing the welfare system. Report them because they are falsifying documents.
Unregistered 08:07 AM 05-09-2015
I guess I'm the odd man out. I wouldn't report reason being is by doing that you're actually hurting the kids also. She maybe really over there struggling to feed her children. I remember when I tried to get help from the state because i had to put my kids in daycare and they said I made too much. I was struggling to get by without paying for daycare. 1 of my checks wouldn't even cover the the monthly cost for my 2 kids. Luckily things worked out for me and I was able to move my schedule around to not need daycare but if i weren't able to do that I would've had to stop working because I wouldn't have been able to afford it.
Thriftylady 08:18 AM 05-09-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I guess I'm the odd man out. I wouldn't report reason being is by doing that you're actually hurting the kids also. She maybe really over there struggling to feed her children. I remember when I tried to get help from the state because i had to put my kids in daycare and they said I made too much. I was struggling to get by without paying for daycare. 1 of my checks wouldn't even cover the the monthly cost for my 2 kids. Luckily things worked out for me and I was able to move my schedule around to not need daycare but if i weren't able to do that I would've had to stop working because I wouldn't have been able to afford it.
See I have needed help and fought tooth and nail to get it in my life, so that is why this irks me. They eat out every darn night, the kids have told me that. If she was living on just her income, she would need the help. But with dad living there again (has been the whole time I have the kids) that makes them a two income household. Only she isn't telling the state he is living there, so she can still get food stamps and now daycare again. I think help for those who need it should be there. And I understand making just over the guidelines, been there myself. But to have people lying about it to me is another issue, when you know there is a single mom out there, being honest about everything and barely making it.
Unregistered 10:38 AM 05-09-2015
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
See I have needed help and fought tooth and nail to get it in my life, so that is why this irks me. They eat out every darn night, the kids have told me that. If she was living on just her income, she would need the help. But with dad living there again (has been the whole time I have the kids) that makes them a two income household. Only she isn't telling the state he is living there, so she can still get food stamps and now daycare again. I think help for those who need it should be there. And I understand making just over the guidelines, been there myself. But to have people lying about it to me is another issue, when you know there is a single mom out there, being honest about everything and barely making it.
I get it I see people getting assistance and being able to go on vacations, concerts etc and it ticks me off. I even know of a couple of ladies that sit at home all day (no job, no school, no gain) and are able to send their kids to daycare while the state pays for it. Hows that possible I don't know? but my husband and I have to work hard and fight for everything we have. Before my son started kindergarten I heard the school provided pre-k but of course we didn't qualify because it was based on income. So I just worked with him at home and he was one of the top students in his class the whole school year. It seems like the system is set up for middle class people to not get ahead
Thriftylady 05:53 PM 05-10-2015
Well I made up my mind about part of this. First off, I am going to call and turn her in. I just can't get over the abuse of the system when I know for a fact so many people struggle and stay honest about everything.
My other dilemma I know will come in the morning with her. The kids started with me in Feb. My policies state that payments are due on Friday for the next week, but I let her slide and do it on Tuesdays because that is when she gets paid. But dad gets paid on Fridays. So two weeks ago I sent out a notice that said there would be no more letting things slide, everyone must follow the policies. The didn't say a word about it. So a week ago Friday I sent mom a text. Dad picked up that day and asked me about it, and I told him that they could slide one more time, but that policies would be enforced the following week (so this last Friday). Dad said "so if we pay Monday, we have to pay again on Friday?" I said yes. So mom picks up Friday and didn't say a word and either did I (I wanted some time to think about it). So I texted mom an hour or so later that if payment wasn't received by 7 PM, that the late fees of $10 a day would begin. I haven't had a call, a text, or a visit from them to even discuss it. She has given her two week notice, but needs me until the 20th when school is out. I have a one week deposit. I know she is going to show up in the morning with the kids, probably with a weeks pay, but not with late fees. I need to figure out how I want to handle that. Any ideas?
AuntTami 06:16 PM 05-10-2015
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Well I made up my mind about part of this. First off, I am going to call and turn her in. I just can't get over the abuse of the system when I know for a fact so many people struggle and stay honest about everything.
My other dilemma I know will come in the morning with her. The kids started with me in Feb. My policies state that payments are due on Friday for the next week, but I let her slide and do it on Tuesdays because that is when she gets paid. But dad gets paid on Fridays. So two weeks ago I sent out a notice that said there would be no more letting things slide, everyone must follow the policies. The didn't say a word about it. So a week ago Friday I sent mom a text. Dad picked up that day and asked me about it, and I told him that they could slide one more time, but that policies would be enforced the following week (so this last Friday). Dad said "so if we pay Monday, we have to pay again on Friday?" I said yes. So mom picks up Friday and didn't say a word and either did I (I wanted some time to think about it). So I texted mom an hour or so later that if payment wasn't received by 7 PM, that the late fees of $10 a day would begin. I haven't had a call, a text, or a visit from them to even discuss it. She has given her two week notice, but needs me until the 20th when school is out. I have a one week deposit. I know she is going to show up in the morning with the kids, probably with a weeks pay, but not with late fees. I need to figure out how I want to handle that. Any ideas?
Take her payment and turn her away with her kids until she returns with the late fee. I'm having the same struggle here and I'm done. No more being nice and letting it slide. It's due when it's due or late fees are assessed! . End of the story!
Thriftylady 06:19 PM 05-10-2015
Originally Posted by AuntTami:
Take her payment and turn her away with her kids until she returns with the late fee. I'm having the same struggle here and I'm done. No more being nice and letting it slide. It's due when it's due or late fees are assessed! . End of the story!
Ok, so if I do that and she chooses not to pay the late fees, and wants her payment back then what? I am asking because I wonder if even though she still needs care if she will go ahead and pull them. Or do I chalk it up to the rest of her two week notice payment? I struggle with these issues so darn much.
AuntTami 07:17 PM 05-10-2015
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Ok, so if I do that and she chooses not to pay the late fees, and wants her payment back then what? I am asking because I wonder if even though she still needs care if she will go ahead and pull them. Or do I chalk it up to the rest of her two week notice payment? I struggle with these issues so darn much.
Didn't you say she paid a deposit? What if you took the late fees out of that and just give her back less of a deposit at the end and explain why?
Does she have a choice but to pay the late fees? What if she doesn't? You don't take her children and then what is she going to do? She obviously needs daycare or they wouldn't be in daycare... Does she have grandma and grandpa she can use as a back up or are you her only option right now? I guess that answer would depend on how flexible I was.
Thriftylady 07:23 PM 05-10-2015
Originally Posted by AuntTami:
Didn't you say she paid a deposit? What if you took the late fees out of that and just give her back less of a deposit at the end and explain why?
Does she have a choice but to pay the late fees? What if she doesn't? You don't take her children and then what is she going to do? She obviously needs daycare or they wouldn't be in daycare... Does she have grandma and grandpa she can use as a back up or are you her only option right now? I guess that answer would depend on how flexible I was.
I have a deposit, that is supposed to get applied to the last week of care when two week notice is given. But I think she is counting on using that since she gave her two weeks notice. She does have some help, but not as much as she needs, or she wouldn't be paying me for sure. I guess I am pretty much her only option. Should I text her and tell her I won't keep them tomorrow without pay and late fees? Should I just tell her at the door oh sorry? I know tons of questions I am still learning to be tough. Oh her deposit is only one week of fees also.
Unregistered 09:35 PM 05-10-2015
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I have a deposit, that is supposed to get applied to the last week of care when two week notice is given. But I think she is counting on using that since she gave her two weeks notice. She does have some help, but not as much as she needs, or she wouldn't be paying me for sure. I guess I am pretty much her only option. Should I text her and tell her I won't keep them tomorrow without pay and late fees? Should I just tell her at the door oh sorry? I know tons of questions I am still learning to be tough. Oh her deposit is only one week of fees also.
When she shows up tomorrow if she doesn't have her late fees turn her away. if she doesn't return you still have the deposit for the 1 week. After that you have to make the decision to pursue her legally or chalk it up as a loss. In the business your in you have to have a back bone other wise people will take advantage of you. May the force be with you
Thriftylady 05:00 AM 05-11-2015
She texted me this morning saying she "couldn't afford me anymore". She also told me that "first time I have financial issues you show your true colors" to which I told her that her problems are not my problems. Then she told me she had been overpaying me anyway. Whatever. I probably won't take her to court for the one week, but her attitude about it really ticks me off.
Thriftylady 12:06 PM 05-11-2015
This keeps getting crazier and crazier. DCM's dad just called and told me that DCM gave him some money to bring me she has to work late. I bet you dollars to doughnuts those kids get off the bus at my house today. If they do what do I do at this point? She termed care this AM.
Wow. This does get weirder. I would call, text and email dcm letting her know that since she termed care this morning you can not accept her kids this afternoon. If they do show up I would take them and call emergency contacts for pick up followed by child services if no one responds.
AmyKidsCo 12:27 PM 05-11-2015
If I've got this right: She owes you late fees for not paying on time. She's given her notice but you think the children will arrive anyway. Correct?
Assuming I understand things correctly I'd:
1. Turn them in for abusing the system. I'm happy to have my tax money used to help people who need it, but not people who use and abuse the system. They ruin things for people who really need the help.
2. If she terminated care I'd forget the late fees, keep any deposit, and call it even. If the kids get off the bus, call someone to pick them up ASAP.
Thriftylady 12:30 PM 05-11-2015
I did turn her in.
Dad came and paid the weeks care and partial late fees, I had agreed to partial if she paid off her contract by tomorrow. She had told me by text this morning they wouldn't be back though.
Thriftylady 12:31 PM 05-11-2015
OH and it amazes me how fast people can go from "I don't have a penny" to having some money when they need care. Maybe I should just finish out this weeks care I dunno.
Unregistered 12:37 PM 05-11-2015
No! Take the money they gave you and wash your hands of it! She told you that you showed your true colors? What a B! Heck no, I would not watch those kids for another minute. If you turned her in, then I don't think t is a good idea to continue caring for them, expecially if the state pays those benefits. If they get in trouble, the state may try to recoup those losses and that could effect the money you already received, since you knew they were being fraudulent. At this point, I would tell her you are done offering services.
kitykids3 12:55 PM 05-11-2015
No she termed this morning.
Thriftylady 01:01 PM 05-11-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
No! Take the money they gave you and wash your hands of it! She told you that you showed your true colors? What a B! Heck no, I would not watch those kids for another minute. If you turned her in, then I don't think t is a good idea to continue caring for them, expecially if the state pays those benefits. If they get in trouble, the state may try to recoup those losses and that could effect the money you already received, since you knew they were being fraudulent. At this point, I would tell her you are done offering services.
I don't take state payments which is why she gave her first two week notice last Friday. She is leaving because she has signed up for them for summer. But told me in the process "he and I are not back together on paper and I am not telling them yet". So I am in the clear with that. I would have termed her anyway if I was taking state payments because I can't be a part of fraud. I am done LOL. I am just afraid she had second thoughts. But her text this AM did say "the kids wouldn't be coming to me anymore". Then she accused me of making her kids about money. Well yeah its daycare.
Thriftylady 01:06 PM 05-11-2015
Whew they didn't get off the bus, I feel a ton better!
Unregistered 01:13 PM 05-11-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
No! Take the money they gave you and wash your hands of it! She told you that you showed your true colors? What a B! Heck no, I would not watch those kids for another minute. If you turned her in, then I don't think t is a good idea to continue caring for them, expecially if the state pays those benefits. If they get in trouble, the state may try to recoup those losses and that could effect the money you already received, since you knew they were being fraudulent. At this point, I would tell her you are done offering services.
YOUR family deserves the money. YOUR family is more important. You are doing what's right for YOUR family. That's why you set up your business the way you did- to make money for YOUR family.
Screw her, cheating B!!! How dare her say that to you! As if she would care about your money troubles. That's personal anyways.
Thriftylady 01:38 PM 05-11-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
YOUR family deserves the money. YOUR family is more important. You are doing what's right for YOUR family. That's why you set up your business the way you did- to make money for YOUR family.
Screw her, cheating B!!! How dare her say that to you! As if she would care about your money troubles. That's personal anyways.
That is what I told DH today. It wasn't me that got pulled over for speeding with expired tags, and an expired license. That was her husband. (and the story according to the kids was he was afraid he was going to get fired because when he got pulled over he had a bunch of illegals in there with fake IDs that were paying him gas money, he was afraid they would get into trouble and they would loose their workers). The family is as legal as can be, no issue there but the kids wouldn't make up a story like that. It just killed me because she said "so this is the first time I have had financial issues and you do this". But then she says "I can't believe you are turning my kids into money". LOL looking at it now after it is all done it is kind of cracks me up.
Thriftylady 02:14 PM 05-11-2015
finsup 02:25 PM 05-11-2015
lilcupcakes09 02:38 PM 05-11-2015
So I'm in the same boat in a sense......need some ideas on what other providers would do. Mom asks me to take kid 45 mins early one morning because she needs to work early. I say sure, it will be xx$$, being it is extra early before her contracted hours and I am opening early for her and only her! She says ok.....so any other time this means we are a go. Well I'm not sure if she got upset because I applied the fees for once or what, but she didn't show up until her normal time. I was very upset as I had been up early waiting for them! I termed them immediately as this just added to a list of incidences I have thrown under the rug. Now dcp wants deposit back but refuses to pay me what she really owes me for making arrangements to open early for her. Would you all give deposit back or deduct what she would have owed? I am not confrontational at all, I just want thIs over and these people out of my business, but feel like giving her back her full deposit is once again letting her do things her way...
Unregistered 02:47 PM 05-11-2015
I would deduct the fees and send the rest back. If you already have the deposit, use it to your advantage and pay yourself for the time you worked. She needs to get over it!
And thrifty, I would have so texted her back, saying, "You are so right, dcm! You should open a daycare because it is an extremely profitable business! Now I must go as the fine china needs polishing!" "
Thriftylady 02:48 PM 05-11-2015
Originally Posted by lilcupcakes09:
So I'm in the same boat in a sense......need some ideas on what other providers would do. Mom asks me to take kid 45 mins early one morning because she needs to work early. I say sure, it will be xx$$, being it is extra early before her contracted hours and I am opening early for her and only her! She says ok.....so any other time this means we are a go. Well I'm not sure if she got upset because I applied the fees for once or what, but she didn't show up until her normal time. I was very upset as I had been up early waiting for them! I termed them immediately as this just added to a list of incidences I have thrown under the rug. Now dcp wants deposit back but refuses to pay me what she really owes me for making arrangements to open early for her. Would you all give deposit back or deduct what she would have owed? I am not confrontational at all, I just want thIs over and these people out of my business, but feel like giving her back her full deposit is once again letting her do things her way...
That is where I always get caught up. But I guess to me it would depend on your contract and such. And on her term letter, I would list all the reasons for the term. I mail I term letter out to each family no matter the reason. Some of them say the family is welcome back in care, some of them don't say that, helps me if I need to look them up later but I have never needed to.
My thought is if they want to be a pain in the butt, no lol I ain't budging. But I will never, ever again let a family slide on anything at all. My mom is all upset because I let her payment day slide then started enforcing my policies. No more Mrs. Nice provider.