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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Over Stressed
Peaches 02:36 AM 04-15-2016
For the last couple months I have been feeling pretty stressed. I have a lot going on in my personal life. I recently had a baby and returned working after a month maternity leave. I've only been back to work for a month now and recently had a DKB break his arm from falling off a swing. The guilt of this accident is eating me up. I love this family and feel completely awful this has happened. I keep replaying it and nit picking every detail. It truly was an accident but now I feel everything has just become a ton more complicated. At first the family was very understanding and the diagnose seemed like best case scenario. However, after a follow-up doctor visit the family's tone has changed. The stress of this on top of being post partum and managing 8 kiddos has me burning out quick. I know my group will be downsizing in June with half the kids leaving in the summer (teachers kids). The only family left come summer will be the broken arm family and now I am anxious about only having them and am thinking I should just close completely. Honestly I don't know how ya'll handle the emotional job turbulence when injuries or accidents happen. maybe it's because I'm still post partum but I'm finding this all too stressful and I may not be cut out for it anymore...
Josiegirl 03:03 AM 04-15-2016
That is a lot to handle. 
Why has the family's tone changed? Do they think you did something wrong or are looking into legal paths to follow? We all know accidents happen everywhere. Kids and accidents go hand in hand.
Can you afford to close? Maybe if you do have just the one dcf, it wouldn't hurt to take a break, especially with an infant at home. You could slow down, regroup, and start up again when school starts.
I'm sorry to hear you're so stressed. But please don't blame yourself for what happened to the dcb. Have you talked with the state licensing? Develop a plan to help prevent it from happening again?
Why has the family's tone changed? Do they think you did something wrong or are looking into legal paths to follow? We all know accidents happen everywhere. Kids and accidents go hand in hand. Can you afford to close? Maybe if you do have just the one dcf, it wouldn't hurt to take a break, especially with an infant at home. You could slow down, regroup, and start up again when school starts.
I'm sorry to hear you're so stressed.
But please don't blame yourself for what happened to the dcb. Have you talked with the state licensing? Develop a plan to help prevent it from happening again?
Play Care 03:21 AM 04-15-2016
I am sorry you are stressed
Do you have any help in your day care? Can you possible take a day or two off to re-group? Have you seen your doctor and talked about options?
All that said, I think that we have to remember accidents happen. It's okay to feel bad, but I do think you need to try to move on. I do think parents take their cue from us. If you are beside yourself with guilt and apologies, they start wondering what "really" happened, KWIM?
Being licensed I would have had to report the injury and had a visit. While the thought is scary, if the outcome was that it was an accident and there are protocols in place to try to prevent it, there is some "official" peace of mind.
Best of luck!!
Do you have any help in your day care? Can you possible take a day or two off to re-group? Have you seen your doctor and talked about options?
All that said, I think that we have to remember accidents happen. It's okay to feel bad, but I do think you need to try to move on. I do think parents take their cue from us. If you are beside yourself with guilt and apologies, they start wondering what "really" happened, KWIM?
Being licensed I would have had to report the injury and had a visit. While the thought is scary, if the outcome was that it was an accident and there are protocols in place to try to prevent it, there is some "official" peace of mind.
Best of luck!!
Blackcat31 06:39 AM 04-15-2016
Originally Posted by Peaches:
For the last couple months I have been feeling pretty stressed. I have a lot going on in my personal life. I recently had a baby and returned working after a month maternity leave. I've only been back to work for a month now and recently had a DKB break his arm from falling off a swing. The guilt of this accident is eating me up. I love this family and feel completely awful this has happened. I keep replaying it and nit picking every detail. It truly was an accident but now I feel everything has just become a ton more complicated. At first the family was very understanding and the diagnose seemed like best case scenario. However, after a follow-up doctor visit the family's tone has changed. The stress of this on top of being post partum and managing 8 kiddos has me burning out quick. I know my group will be downsizing in June with half the kids leaving in the summer (teachers kids). The only family left come summer will be the broken arm family and now I am anxious about only having them and am thinking I should just close completely. Honestly I don't know how ya'll handle the emotional job turbulence when injuries or accidents happen. maybe it's because I'm still post partum but I'm finding this all too stressful and I may not be cut out for it anymore...
Wow, that is a lot to manage at once....For the last couple months I have been feeling pretty stressed. I have a lot going on in my personal life. I recently had a baby and returned working after a month maternity leave. I've only been back to work for a month now and recently had a DKB break his arm from falling off a swing. The guilt of this accident is eating me up. I love this family and feel completely awful this has happened. I keep replaying it and nit picking every detail. It truly was an accident but now I feel everything has just become a ton more complicated. At first the family was very understanding and the diagnose seemed like best case scenario. However, after a follow-up doctor visit the family's tone has changed. The stress of this on top of being post partum and managing 8 kiddos has me burning out quick. I know my group will be downsizing in June with half the kids leaving in the summer (teachers kids). The only family left come summer will be the broken arm family and now I am anxious about only having them and am thinking I should just close completely. Honestly I don't know how ya'll handle the emotional job turbulence when injuries or accidents happen. maybe it's because I'm still post partum but I'm finding this all too stressful and I may not be cut out for it anymore...
Remember no matter what NONE of that can function properly or survive without YOU so more than anything make sure you are taking care of you.
The little boy breaking his arm WAS an accident. I know it's easy to feel guilty but honestly things happen and when kids play the possibility of them getting hurt is always there. Even when they are home.
I know you said the family's attitude has changed...
How so? Is it the inconvenience of the medical follow ups and care of the broken arm that is wearing on them or maybe the break is more serious (still NO FAULT of yours) and they are simply worried about it. Maybe they sense that you feel guilty (you shouldn't) and they just don't know how to handle that. There is more than likely a very plausible explanation
Have you considered taking a day or two off? Not necessarily in a row but even a half day here and there so that you can just step back and take a deep breath.
You've had a lot going on at once...I can totally understand why you are feeling so overwhelmed.
If you need to talk, vent or ANYTHING....PM me.
I'm happy to help in anyway I can.
KiwiKids 08:43 AM 04-15-2016
I always kept a much smaller group when I had a new baby of my own. I just felt too torn between nursing and my own infant needing attention and the other kids needing me too. A smaller group was the best option for me.
As for the arm, accidents happen and no matter how vigilant and careful you are, you can't prevent everything. One of my own kids was knocked down during PE at school and the fall broke her arm. It isn't fun paying for the bills and seeing your child so uncomfortable but no one is at fault, it is just crummy luck. I do know that when my own kids have been in casts they slept very poorly and after a week or two everyone in the house was cranky.... Hopefully that's the change you're seeing. Thinking of you!
As for the arm, accidents happen and no matter how vigilant and careful you are, you can't prevent everything. One of my own kids was knocked down during PE at school and the fall broke her arm. It isn't fun paying for the bills and seeing your child so uncomfortable but no one is at fault, it is just crummy luck. I do know that when my own kids have been in casts they slept very poorly and after a week or two everyone in the house was cranky.... Hopefully that's the change you're seeing. Thinking of you!
EntropyControlSpecialist 08:51 AM 04-15-2016
I returned to work 2 weeks after having my child and it was a lot to handle. What helped me was having another adult there to assist. Can you ask your husband, Mom, an in-law (sister/mother), friend to come and assist you for a couple hours on certain days for a bit?
I'm sorry to read they're response has changed after the most recent visit. Please try not to feel guilty. Children need to be out and about and in doing so they are going to get hurt in some way. If you are concerned, just keep the children off of the swings from now on. After I had a child face plant off of the swing last year and the parent have a great issue with it (just a minor scratch) I decided that the swings are just a liability waiting to happen. It's truly ridiculous and I don't even believe in it but having been so close to a larger issue I decided that it's just easier.
I just take my own child to play on the swings and such after work so she can still experience a childhood.
I'm sorry to read they're response has changed after the most recent visit. Please try not to feel guilty. Children need to be out and about and in doing so they are going to get hurt in some way. If you are concerned, just keep the children off of the swings from now on. After I had a child face plant off of the swing last year and the parent have a great issue with it (just a minor scratch) I decided that the swings are just a liability waiting to happen. It's truly ridiculous and I don't even believe in it but having been so close to a larger issue I decided that it's just easier.
I just take my own child to play on the swings and such after work so she can still experience a childhood.
Peaches 11:12 AM 04-15-2016
Currently I work 4 days a week, my husband has also been a big help and took one day off a week for the first 3 weeks I was back. I've been proactive in trying to balance my time. I think it's just the worry over the broken bone that's getting to me. I have followed all the proper protocol and awaiting my licensing visit. It just sucks. Thanks for all the advice and helpful tips. I know I am probably reading to much into things and the family is just stressed because the injury is now sounding more serious and I know the boy is not sleeping the best. They are also working on potty training him so that is probably adding to their stresses. I will try to not let my worries get the best of me. Its no good wondering if they are happy or still feeling comfortable ultimately I know I just need to ask them. I just don't want too...