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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Not Sure How to Handle This Situation...
NiNi.R. 08:50 PM 05-25-2011
I have two DCGs I've been watching for the last year and a half. They are both pretty good kids. When they started coming to childcare the DCM worked 5 days a week 8 hours a day. Six months in her schedule got changed to 4 days a week 10 hour days. My contract states that I will not watch a child over 10 hours a day but I went ahead and told her I would work with her if she would keep them home on Fridays.There are days still she only works 8 hours but then sometimes she works up to 12 hours. Well more recently her work has picked up their pace. Today she dropped them off at 6am. She then called me at 5:30pm to say that her work wanted her to stay at least another hour. By the time she got to my home to pick up the girls it was 7pm. She is a single mom and doesn't have a whole lot of family around to help her out. I feel bad for her but at the same time I'm completely exhausted by the end of the night and feel completely robbed of time with my own family.

I'm sure it doesn't help that I feel a little under appreciated. When I go out of my way for the other DCMs they always show a lot of thanks. For example, a small bonus on pay day or even just a text that says how much they appreciate the work I do with their kids. But this mom who I go out of the way for the most...NOTHING. Sometimes I might get a thanks but its pretty rare.

We've discussed her work schedule getting in the way and she mentioned taking them to another daycare. I told her I would work with her schedule because at the time I was about to go on a month's maternity leave and I couldn't handle the stress of having to find two new DCK on top of having a baby. Now I'm wishing I would have told her to go ahead. I just really don't want to loose the girls.

ugh! such a tough spot to be in
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Christian Mother 09:55 PM 05-25-2011
I think you might want to think about adding a change in your policies for late fees. I would let DCM know that effective immediately you will be charging late fees. After her scheduled time I would charge her. You can talk to her Fri. and let her know that you are making a amendment to your contact and starting Mon. if she stay late to work you will be charging her for any extra hrs you have to work. She gets paid for working late...why shouldn't you. If she finds this unexceptionable then you can decide if you'd like to term. It will prob. be something she doesn't like bc who likes to pay extra fees. But honestly, this is your business as well. You should be compensated for your time.
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nannyde 04:09 AM 05-26-2011
Are you charging her for over ten hours?

Are you charging her ADDITIONAL fees for unscheduled over ten hours?

I would have a base rate for the ten hours plus
an hourly rate per kid for anything scheduled over ten hours
and then an additional rate for anything extra that is unscheduled.

Unscheduled would mean any extra time that wasn't agreed upon twenty four hours in advance.

If you are doing it for free she's just going to call you and say the words that she has to work late. She can have extra time in the evening for free with just a couple of words to you.
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NiNi.R. 04:25 AM 05-26-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Are you charging her for over ten hours?

Are you charging her ADDITIONAL fees for unscheduled over ten hours?

I would have a base rate for the ten hours plus
an hourly rate per kid for anything scheduled over ten hours
and then an additional rate for anything extra that is unscheduled.

Unscheduled would mean any extra time that wasn't agreed upon twenty four hours in advance.

If you are doing it for free she's just going to call you and say the words that she has to work late. She can have extra time in the evening for free with just a couple of words to you.
I have not charged her extra and I know that her job makes her stay late with little notice because my husband used to work there and it happened to him all the time. There is another DC in town that offered to keep her kids for an unlimited amount of hours for my same weekly price. So I know she will just terminate in the event I say anything to change our original agreement. I will probably have to just tough it out through summer for financial reasons and then when fall rolls and her oldest is in school full time follow through with some sort of change and see what happens.
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melskids 04:31 AM 05-26-2011
Originally Posted by NiNi.R.:
I have not charged her extra and I know that her job makes her stay late with little notice because my husband used to work there and it happened to him all the time. There is another DC in town that offered to keep her kids for an unlimited amount of hours for my same weekly price. So I know she will just terminate in the event I say anything to change our original agreement. I will probably have to just tough it out through summer for financial reasons and then when fall rolls and her oldest is in school full time follow through with some sort of change and see what happens.
do you know that for a fact, or is that a guilt trip she's laying on you to see if you'll fall for it?
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NiNi.R. 04:45 AM 05-26-2011
Originally Posted by melskids:
do you know that for a fact, or is that a guilt trip she's laying on you to see if you'll fall for it?
I know it for a fact! We live in a small town (population: 2600) so it's not hard to find out what the competition is offering. This lady just opened her DC in town and has no kids and isn't married. She not only offered unlimited amount of hours for the same weekly price but also offers transportation to and from for school aged kids. I don't because I live 2 blocks from the school. But this particular DCM doesn't want her daughter to walk by herself to school so she also complains about having to find someone to transport her.

I remember being a new DC and offering whatever I needed to get DCKs. I'm sure its just a matter of time before this new DC gets burnt out and smart and starts charging for all the extras.
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nannyde 04:53 AM 05-26-2011
but if she is getting extra hours she's making extra money. Why can't you attach fees onto it like she does to her employer?
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wdmmom 05:23 AM 05-26-2011
If she's offered overtime and making 1 1/2 times her hourly rate AND not having to pay you a penny extra, I'd do it too!

If you 're worried about losing this family on money alone, you probably will. We are all replaceable and if someone is offering childcare in the same little town or right down the road, they will do what they have to do to get business. Even if that means working 12 hour days for little to no money.

Unfortunately, about the only thing left is to tell her that you CAN'T & WON'T work 13 hour days. Tell her...I close at 6pm (or whatever time) and tell her that you can no longer accommodate 7pm. She can find someone to pick her kids up by closing time or she will need to be off work on time to pick up her kids.

If money is an issue, that's about all you can do for now.
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NiNi.R. 05:27 AM 05-26-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
but if she is getting extra hours she's making extra money. Why can't you attach fees onto it like she does to her employer?
I can and should. I think I will tough things out for the summer and then give her the ultimatum in the fall. That way if she does decide to terminate it won't be as financially binding.
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NiNi.R. 05:38 AM 05-26-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
If she's offered overtime and making 1 1/2 times her hourly rate AND not having to pay you a penny extra, I'd do it too!

If you 're worried about losing this family on money alone, you probably will. We are all replaceable and if someone is offering childcare in the same little town or right down the road, they will do what they have to do to get business. Even if that means working 12 hour days for little to no money.

Unfortunately, about the only thing left is to tell her that you CAN'T & WON'T work 13 hour days. Tell her...I close at 6pm (or whatever time) and tell her that you can no longer accommodate 7pm. She can find someone to pick her kids up by closing time or she will need to be off work on time to pick up her kids.

If money is an issue, that's about all you can do for now.
I know! You teach people how to treat you..right?lol And in this situation I have given an inch and they have taken a mile. It's such a shame that you can't do people favors anymore without them taking complete advantage of you.

Tell me..do you think it's bad to do favors for some but not for others. To bend the rules of the contract at times for people that don't take advantage..I sometimes struggle with the guilt of not being fair to everyone. But then again it's not fair to the parents who are appreciative and don't take advantage to be punished for one parents failure to be appreciative.

Us daycare providers most definitely have one of the hardest jobs out there. I wish more people were aware of that!
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SandeeAR 06:48 AM 05-26-2011
Personally, I would start advertising two open spots and as soon as I could fill them, I would give her notice. My contract states: Provider may terminate the contract at will without notice. When she grumbles, reminder of the daycare she said would take them for unlimited hours for the same rate. Then just smile.
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jojosmommy 07:57 AM 05-26-2011
Originally Posted by SandeeAR:
Personally, I would start advertising two open spots and as soon as I could fill them, I would give her notice. My contract states: Provider may terminate the contract at will without notice. When she grumbles, reminder of the daycare she said would take them for unlimited hours for the same rate. Then just smile.
Agreed!
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wdmmom 08:05 AM 05-26-2011
Originally Posted by NiNi.R.:
I know! You teach people how to treat you..right?lol And in this situation I have given an inch and they have taken a mile. It's such a shame that you can't do people favors anymore without them taking complete advantage of you.

Tell me..do you think it's bad to do favors for some but not for others. To bend the rules of the contract at times for people that don't take advantage..I sometimes struggle with the guilt of not being fair to everyone. But then again it's not fair to the parents who are appreciative and don't take advantage to be punished for one parents failure to be appreciative.

Us daycare providers most definitely have one of the hardest jobs out there. I wish more people were aware of that!
I think we are all a bit guilty of doing favors for your favorite clients.
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NiNi.R. 10:20 AM 05-26-2011
Originally Posted by SandeeAR:
Personally, I would start advertising two open spots and as soon as I could fill them, I would give her notice. My contract states: Provider may terminate the contract at will without notice. When she grumbles, reminder of the daycare she said would take them for unlimited hours for the same rate. Then just smile.
I'm digging this idea! Thanks!
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sharlan 10:25 AM 05-26-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
I think we are all a bit guilty of doing favors for your favorite clients.
And those are always the ones who come back to bite us in the butt.
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PeanutsGalore 10:56 AM 05-26-2011
While I totally understand about the long days cutting into family time and being exhausted at the end of the day, I'm not sure I understand the overall issue. Is she still using the contracted 40 - 45 hours per week and keeping her kids home on Fridays, or is she going over 45 hours/week? It seems she's using the extra hours on a daily basis because she needs to work, not go out to get her nails done. I'd make allowances for her too, if I could, and I'd probably up the weekly fee a minimum amount to cover the extra hours at night.

I know it would be nice to get a heartfelt thanks every once in awhile, but as long as I get paid on time, I think that's thanks enough. She's probably burnt out and exhausted too, especially if she's a single mom. Maybe she's just not thinking clearly enough to give you extra thanks, or maybe she's using every ounce of energy she has to keep her kids clean and fed, and get back to work her next 12-hour shift.

If you feel unappreciated, let her go. If you're willing to work with her though, I wouldn't think of it as a "favor". Explain to her that you have to up your prices to cover the daily overtime rate (even though she's not using extra hours in the week) and ask for enough to make you feel, well, appreciated.
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NiNi.R. 12:43 PM 05-26-2011
Originally Posted by PeanutsGalore:
While I totally understand about the long days cutting into family time and being exhausted at the end of the day, I'm not sure I understand the overall issue. Is she still using the contracted 40 - 45 hours per week and keeping her kids home on Fridays, or is she going over 45 hours/week? It seems she's using the extra hours on a daily basis because she needs to work, not go out to get her nails done. I'd make allowances for her too, if I could, and I'd probably up the weekly fee a minimum amount to cover the extra hours at night.

I know it would be nice to get a heartfelt thanks every once in awhile, but as long as I get paid on time, I think that's thanks enough. She's probably burnt out and exhausted too, especially if she's a single mom. Maybe she's just not thinking clearly enough to give you extra thanks, or maybe she's using every ounce of energy she has to keep her kids clean and fed, and get back to work her next 12-hour shift.

If you feel unappreciated, let her go. If you're willing to work with her though, I wouldn't think of it as a "favor". Explain to her that you have to up your prices to cover the daily overtime rate (even though she's not using extra hours in the week) and ask for enough to make you feel, well, appreciated.
I realize that she is exhausted from being a single mom...that is why I do the things I do for her. For the most part I get along very well with her and her children. More often than not she uses around 50 hours of childcare a week.I just feel sometimes that she continues to keep her children with me past 6 because its easier instead of trying to find another alternative first and it is very frustrating. Most of the time her schedule is sporadic and I find out an hour before her scheduled pick up time that she needs me to keep them longer. It is hard for me to make evening plans because neither I nor her know when she will get off work very much in advance. After reading everyone's comments and checking older threads I have decided that I'm going to implement a $10.00 fee if I'm not contacted ahead of time for schedule changes. I'm also going to talk to her face to face and tell her that I don't mind helping her out but I prefer she uses me keeping her children late as a last ditch effort.

I'd really like to work with her. Like I said I bend the rules more for her than others because I understand the situation she is in can get tough.
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sharlan 02:31 PM 05-26-2011
Would it be possible for her to ask her employer to give her a 3 hour (or whatever works for you) notice? If she explained that her provider required notice, they might be able to come to an arrangement that would work for you.
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NiNi.R. 02:55 PM 05-26-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Would it be possible for her to ask her employer to give her a 3 hour (or whatever works for you) notice? If she explained that her provider required notice, they might be able to come to an arrangement that would work for you.
I've thought of that also. In fact my husband worked there for a number of years and I know the boss. I thought about calling her myself and explaining the situation to her. I have a feeling that she would understand where I'm coming from. I also wonder if DCM has used daycare as an excuse to get out of work in unnecessary circumstances. I'm just not sure if I contact her employer and discuss it if it's overstepping a boundry.
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sharlan 03:01 PM 05-26-2011
I think calling her boss would way over step your boundaries. It's her job, she needs to deal with it.
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NiNi.R. 03:24 PM 05-26-2011
Yeah you are right. I suppose it was just a thought. What I need to do is grow a back bone..that would solve this whole situation and anything else that would arise.
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PeanutsGalore 04:55 PM 05-26-2011
Originally Posted by NiNi.R.:
Yeah you are right. I suppose it was just a thought. What I need to do is grow a back bone..that would solve this whole situation and anything else that would arise.
Well good for you for being a kind soul. Now, take that kindness and apply it to yourself! I'm sure your family will be happy to either have you back at the end of the day or have the extra money to do something special every once in awhile if you decide to keep her. I don't like feeling taken advantage of either, so I understand that and I'm glad you're going to handle it. I'd offer to loan you my backbone, but it's still growing.
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Tags:schedule - changes, single mom excuse, work hours
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