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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Where Do You Suppose They End Up?
KiddieCahoots 02:51 PM 05-13-2014
This may be a stupid question, but.......
We've all have had those rotten clients, that put us through hell. We talk about the fit not being right. The child that is a terror. The dcp's that don't follow child care rules. Where do you suppose they go after we terminate, or they withdraw? Do they clean up their act? Do they continue on like nomads traveling from child care to child care? Or do they find a child care that accepts their trouble?
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grandmom 03:06 PM 05-13-2014
I hear from other providers about troubles they are having, and sure enough, that's where they went. I think they just make the rounds.

When I was brand new I got a ton of calls for odd hours, kids who had been kicked out, parents who wanted to pay after service or not pay for vacation. I think they prey on new providers.
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NoMoreJuice! 03:08 PM 05-13-2014
I was just about to say the new providers! Like I was when I was new, most are suckers who are willing to take ANYONE. You don't get picky until you have loads of experience!
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Second Home 03:13 PM 05-13-2014
2 ended up with me .

I had a set that were kicked out of 3 daycares in a year . The provider before me did not last even a week before she termed them.

I had them for about 2 years until they went off to K .
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Blackcat31 03:14 PM 05-13-2014
I don't think they all necessarily end up with newbies...some find seasoned vets who put their foot down and require rule following from the get go.

Some of the best families I have had came with bad reports from other providers. After running through a string of care arrangements a lot of parents realize the error of their ways and shape up.

Others keep going until they do find that right fit.

Sometimes that (the fit) is the problem and the solution.
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crazydaycarelady 03:20 PM 05-13-2014
I think a lot end up at centers.
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drseuss 03:20 PM 05-13-2014
I used to have a problem family and they ended up with a friend of mine who does daycare (has for years) but is too nice for her own good. Just like I used to be. Now my friend has the same exact issues that I had with dcm. Always late by a good half hour, Fridays up to an hour and a half late. Entitled parent raising entitled children.
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Mom o Col 03:47 PM 05-13-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
This may be a stupid question, but.......
We've all have had those rotten clients, that put us through hell. We talk about the fit not being right. The child that is a terror. The dcp's that don't follow child care rules. Where do you suppose they go after we terminate, or they withdraw? Do they clean up their act? Do they continue on like nomads traveling from child care to child care? Or do they find a child care that accepts their trouble?
All of the above. Or, in the case of one I just termed they find a provider who is just as nuts as their own family.
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coolconfidentme 03:49 PM 05-13-2014
Hopefully they end up with the budget rate provider, who advertise for $10 a day care on CL & let a TV babysit the kiddos! KARMA!! jk
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daycarediva 03:55 PM 05-13-2014
Originally Posted by Second Home:
2 ended up with me .

I had a set that were kicked out of 3 daycares in a year . The provider before me did not last even a week before she termed them.

I had them for about 2 years when the went off to K .
I have taken several kids like this. Turned around a LOT, too. Environment helps, right fit and all.

Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
I think a lot end up at centers.
This is where bad apple parents go. I hate getting people who have only been to centers, I get a lot of interviews for price shopping from them. I offer more, charge less but they are usually put off by my sick policy, vacation, closings, 10 hour cap, etc....


and I bet some end up with unlicensed "worst of craigslist" providers.
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KiddieCahoots 03:57 PM 05-13-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
I think a lot end up at centers.
I was wondering about centers too. For some reason, some dcp's believe they are teaching bigger and better things at centers But the cost is so much more, and are they as tolerable with the troubles of some children and parents as we are?
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Bookworm 03:59 PM 05-13-2014
They come to my center. The worst experience I've ever had in DC was with one these families. DCB, (4 at the time) was kicked out of home daycare for stabbing the owners pets and other kids with whatever he could get his hands on. The final straw was when he attempted to pit the point of an umbrella down a baby's throat. When he came to us, mom gave us the old DC lady didn't like him and made up stories. It took about a week for his true colors to show. Mom was no help at all. Dad was in another relationship with his own new baby ( 2 at the time) and tried to help us. Even stepmom was on board. Nothing we did worked for long. We went to former Owner/Director constantly for help but eventually we ran out of ideas. Finally, my former Owner/Director shadowed in my class to observe. While standing next the him in the hand washing line, he quick as a flash put soap on another child's eye and started laughing. That did it. He was gone in less than an hour.
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Leigh 04:13 PM 05-13-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
This may be a stupid question, but.......
We've all have had those rotten clients, that put us through hell. We talk about the fit not being right. The child that is a terror. The dcp's that don't follow child care rules. Where do you suppose they go after we terminate, or they withdraw? Do they clean up their act? Do they continue on like nomads traveling from child care to child care? Or do they find a child care that accepts their trouble?
I have termed twice in the last year...one was a screamer who has been bouncing from daycare to daycare (now 18 months and still screaming ALL DAY, NONSTOP)-they were recently driving 26 miles to a neighboring town for daycare, but she recently got termed from there, too.

Another was brothers, 3 & 4 years old-hitting, pushing, biting, swearing, destruction...just all around terrors. Their next daycare lasted 2 weeks. They are on their 3rd since they left here about 3 months ago. They are now having OTHER people post ads searching for daycare, because most of the providers around here have heard about them by now. These kids will never clean up their act, because their home life hasn't changed (it's terrible), their caregivers refuse to continue with therapy (and always refused to participate-it happened only at my house), and refuse medication (needed) for the kids' issues (recommended by therapist and psychiatrist, so they just quit attending).
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NightOwl 05:53 PM 05-13-2014
I ALWAYS wonder this, even for the ones that have me hell. Lol. I can't just say "it's your problem now" after terminating. Idk why. I just can't turn off the worry switch. I wonder where they ended up, how they're coping, if things are better/worse, if the parents finally came around, etc. I wish I could just wash my hands of them, but I still find myself wondering about them here and there.
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Unregistered 05:57 PM 05-13-2014
I know where mind ended up. At a "starter" center where immigrant women are taught to do child care so that they can become dcps. A center where one of my former kids grandpa started the program. And where the dcf likely used my name basically like a reference. (My program has a good reputation among families, dcps and the school systems.)
This dcf was at a center previous to coming here. If I hadn't tried to "reform" them and had just given up, they would probably have changed places at least once a year.
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GKJNIGMN 06:16 PM 05-13-2014
I unfortunately know where mine ended up.

First family I termed - 3 year old DCB called me a stupid b**** anytime I tried to correct something and spit at me. He also threatened to kill himself when I asked him to nap. They couldn't find a daycare to take him. DCM was on a back to work welfare program and the state decided to keep paying out cash assistance until the child starts school.

7 year old dcb who would try to force kids to play with him, picked on my dd who is in kindergarten and told me his stepmother made him eat wood - Father found a new gf and moved her and her 3 kids in within the 2 week notice period so she would watch him

My most recent - DCM started out normal and then asked for a schedule change wanting me to watch DCB from 6AM to 10PM for $20 per day because she didn't want to pay more than her copay for childcare assistance. I refused. She found a friend to do it for $10 a day but was recently posting on facebook because the friend quit. Go figure.
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Unregistered 06:51 PM 05-13-2014
Originally Posted by GKJNIGMN:
watch DCB from 6AM to 10PM for $20 per day because she didn't want to pay more than her copay for childcare assistance. I refused. She found a friend to do it for $10 a day but was recently posting on facebook because the friend quit. Go figure.
Because we all want to watch your kids for minimum wage FROM 1970!
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KidGrind 08:08 PM 05-13-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Because we all want to watch your kids for minimum wage FROM 1970!
I love this site. Always good for a and hearty chuckle.
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Shell 03:51 AM 05-14-2014
My "trouble" family at the time, and they really weren't all that bad, wound up going to 3 different home daycare providers before settling at a center. Funny, but the next few providers had the same problems I did, they just were a lot more forthcoming than I was (I was always trying to keep them happy since our kids were so close in age). They wound up paying a fortune, but each step along the way taught them a new lesson about sick policies, late policies, and keeping to a set schedule!
I am so curious what is going to happen to my super organic, helicopter dcm that is moving and has to bring dcg to a center. The cost is over $100 more per week/per child than what I charge! And, they were trying to negotiate with me on a lower price. To be a fly on the wall...
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childcaremom 05:00 AM 05-14-2014
My one that I termed for aggressiveness I think ended up at a centre. I actually suggested it so that there could be more eyes on him. They also needed a more lax sick policy so they could bring their child sick so I suggested they make sure to ask about that.

The only other one that I termed after 2 days... who knows. This kid had too many issues and mom was less than honest. "oh btw" "oh I meant to mention that to you"

I would consider taking someone on with known issues ONLY if parents were forthcoming b/c I do agree that the environment and group make up can make all the difference. Sometimes we just aren't good fits for each other and that's ok. I am pretty comfortable with laying down the law and sometimes that is all that kids need, some really clear boundaries.

But I do agree that new providers are like magnets for the rotten tomatoes. I know I was
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countrymom 05:12 AM 05-14-2014
the ones that I termed tried other providers, but no one could deal with the kids and right now most are with gma's or other relatives. But when I tell them how it is and the parents want to smother their kids, well this is what is going to happen.
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BumbleBee 06:01 AM 05-14-2014
1. Dcb10: was bullying the other kids here. Gma is watching him now

2. Dcb3.75 & Dcg5.5: Parents from hell. Dcg is in school. Neighbor is watching dcb during the day. After school, neighbors 15 yo son takes over the care of dcb & dcg. Sometimes gma takes dcb & dcg when neighbor can't. Dcb is basically just "there" during the day. Doesn't go outside, doesn't play w/other kids. Just watches tv & plays w/the toys he brings in his backpack. His speech has declined, he's back in pull ups. He sees me at school picking up my school ager & asks if he can come home w/me. He looks so sad when I tell him no (nicely of course).
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permanentvacation 07:05 AM 05-14-2014
New providers until they wise up and kick them out, flop from daycare to daycare for years, and they seem to spend the longest time frames in centers. I have worked in 3 centers in my area. The kids there are the most ill-behaved and ill-mannered, they are sent to daycare sick constantly, and the parents don't pay for months. Oh, and if at all possible, relatives wind up watching them.
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SunshineMama 01:43 PM 05-14-2014
I have only termed twice, and both kids ended up going to grandmas house. One child came from a center, the other came from a previous dcp.
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craftymissbeth 01:57 PM 05-14-2014
Both families I termed are now with newbie providers. I'm technically still a newbie, but this forum has helped me so much I feel like I've been doing this awhile

Both families say they just LIVE their new providers, but I have a feeling it's because they're just putting up with the craziness and not saying anything because they're new.
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wdmmom 03:31 PM 05-14-2014
I've termed twice and was about to term but dcm beat me to it which worked out great.

1.) Parents were split apart. DCD dropped off, DCM picked up. There was a major breakdown in communication, they were changing the schedule the day of without confirming with me first and the DCD made a couple attempts to get my staff assistant to quit and work solely for him. That was the last straw. I gave family notice that due to DCD's rudeness (he had gotten into my fridge and shorted my check as well), they were on probation. I said he needed to conduct himself as he would anywhere in public and I would no longer tolerate such behavior. The next day, he extended another invitation to my assistant. I packed their belongings up and gave them no notice. Oh...and DCD showed up the next day to drop off the kids too! I have no idea where this family went and I couldn't care less. They were horrible.

2.) Had DCB since he was 7 weeks old. Kept him until he was 14 months. He was what I call a "failure to thrive" baby. He wouldn't hold his own bottle, wouldn't eat anything but baby food, didn't start walking until he was 14 months and didn't develop as he should have. He was very under weight and by 9 months old, he wouldn't drink milk/formula/breastmilk whatsoever. His neck muscles were so underdeveloped he looked like a bobblehead until he was 8 months. He was the latest kid in daycare on Fridays (1.5 hours longer than anyone else.) and I resumed college classes last fall so I told the family I couldn't work for them anymore. I know he went to another local home daycare and I recently seen pics of him (he'll turn 2 this month) and he doesn't look any bigger or has any more muscle mass than he did at 14 months when I termed.

3.) DCM that beat me to termination termed for scheduling conflict. I was going to term because he was another "failure to thrive" baby. He was fed goat's milk, puked more than any baby I have ever had (I wonder why...) and he wasn't content unless he was being held or you let him climb all over everyone and everything. He screamed himself to sleep and DCM wanted conferencing at the door every single day. It was just too much. They were on their 4th daycare provider when they left here and the boy was only 14 months old.
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Meeko 06:08 PM 05-14-2014
We sometimes wonder "Where are they now?" about some of our horror daycare kids and/or parents.

There are a few that my husband answers "Point of the Mountain" probably.

Utah providers will know what that means......
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Unregistered 04:59 PM 05-17-2014
I had a CRAZY woman in my daycare.

Didn't pay me $600 and made up a doozy of a story...that ended up on the news. All found to be A LIE.

She feigned a kidnapping and assault and stated my money was stolen from a glovebox. She handed me $100 of what she owed that day. Said the abductor got her from a Taco Bell here, jumped in her unlocked van, and took her to the mountains, had his way and left her there and left ON FOOT, whilst leaving her the keys, her phone, the entire car, and everything else! Yeah, right.

It was on the news, found out she was a liar, and I never did get that payment. I could go into entire details of what exactly she said to me happened (other than the summary above) but it'd take DAYS!

I also had terminated a non-paying abusive client (he abused the wife, and possibly even the kid) and reported them to CPS. They tried to have my license, but I had called them first before reporting.

I had terminated a DCB that his parents neglected him, after my son's dr reported the neglect (she didn't wait for me to get home to do it!) after the mother failed to bring him in a jacket/shoes/socks/etc in -5 degree weather. He also smelled so bad, like dog pee, every day he was there, so I would have to bathe him so I wouldn't vomit. Awful. Mom seemed nice enough, but she never wanted kids. He clutched a blanket all day long and never spoke ONCE. He was almost 2.

I had a few others but those were the top 3. IDK whatever happened to any of the kids, although, the last one I think about him from time to time.
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lynne 06:21 PM 05-17-2014
The Twin boys that I termed after a day and a half are at the center where I used to work....Good riddance they can have them!
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cheerfuldom 08:22 AM 05-18-2014
they do to centers, keep daycare hopping or mom/relative stays with them. Parents figure it out. And around here, established home providers do not put up with these people so they end up with new providers or centers. I do know one home provider exception though but she runs a large group (constantly over licensing limits) and according to her assistant, never terms anyone. as long as she is paid, she will keep anyone. my sister was using her and i felt really uncomfortable knowing my niece was with a large group of rowdy 4 to 8 year old boys (probably the group that is constantly termed from other daycares.....)
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Starburst 11:30 AM 05-18-2014
Wow, all the responses that say "newbies" are scaring me...

Though I know there may be some truth there. I think some of them may wind up preying on unsuspecting college students or fresh-out-of-high-school graduates who need extra income and are willing to work long hours for crappy pay with misbehaved children. Something like that happened to me over a year ago (never got paid for the last 2 weeks of care), but I consider that a lesson that I will use to set boundaries from the start.
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