Here is my situation...

My husband and I recently moved to a somewhat small town because he was offered a teaching position at the high school over here. That was great for him but hard on me because there are not as many families over here for my daycare business. So needless to say, it has been difficult to find kids.

I originally wanted to just care for children ages 2 and up (because I've had experience watching babies in the past and that was VERY hard on me). Well, since it was so difficult to find kids over here I just decided to take on babies anyways when I started receiving inquiries about babies.

So, I am currently caring for a 3 year old, a 9 month old and a 7 month old (he has only been here 2 weeks). I just CAN'T DO IT!! I want to cry! Both babies are very light sleepers and have good sets of lungs on them when they can't sleep (so they wake each other up). Since the second baby started, there has hardly been any napping, which is resulting in very crabby and over tired babies.... Meanwhile I have a poor little 3 year old who I can't hardly give any attention to, which is not fair!

If you were in my situation, what would you do? I desperately want to tell one of the babies' families that I can't take them anymore... but I also need the money and am worried that I won't find anymore kids. I would greatly appreciate any advice!!! THANK YOU!!

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I am so sorry! I would probably term the one who has been giving you the hardest time, doing it VERY gently as you are still new to town. I would then try my hardest to get my name out there at preschools, library play groups, etc. for the age group I desired. If that didn't work I would consider getting an out of the home PT job around my DH's schedule. The nice thing about your situation is that unless he is into coaching, your DH is probably home in the evenings and weekends. No it might not be your ideal, but it may help get your name out there AND save your sanity! Best of luck!

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Try to capitalize on your husband's job. Ask him to get the word out to other teachers/school staff in his building. I have a teacher-only child care, and it is great! I live in a super small town, and I have all teachers from this district and one neighboring district. All the kids are gone by 4, and they all know one another. Ask your husband to hand out fliers in the teachers room...

I would probably keep the babies until you find another family to replace, if you need them from a financial standpoint. At the beginning I think you sometimes have to take what you can get. Once you build up a good client base, you can start being a little more picky.

I remember when I first started out, I had 2 babies who cried through nap. I can remember sitting and being a nervous wreck through the WHOLE nap. It was awful. I used to be in tears by the time I went to bed at night. I was exhausted, and the plan I had envisioned was not what I was living. It did get better. I let the babies cry it out, a bit more each day, until they figured out how to nap here. I let the parents know my approach, and talked to licensing first. It took a while, but we did untimately get a quiet nap time out of it.

Good luck, and know that it gets better! The first year is, hands down, the hardest. It will only get better from here!!!!

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I agree with some of the previous suggestions.....term one or both babies and either just take one under 18 months or 2 yrs old at a time or see if maybe you can't capitalize on DH's job and maybe offer care to teachers only.

I know it is hard to start out and even harder in a town with limited families seeking care but not all babies are like those two either. I have one who is 10 months old now and has always slept right in the middle of the kitchen and is never disturbed by noise or sounds. They are also on a pretty nice schedule too so maybe it is just the two you have right now.

If you termed them, you could be super picky about any new infants (requiring them to have a good schedule and sleep habits) you enrolled so you don't have to eliminate infant care at all if you really need the income.

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I agree with bunnyslippers. I too do a school year only daycare. Have your husband make some contacts for you. It would be nice to work the same schedule as your husband too...

I think the infants will get easier once they get on your schedule. I don't particularly like training infants either and will turn down infants most of the time, unless I know the families well.

If you are coming close to your breaking point terminate 1 or both of the infants immediately! It's not worth your sanity to continue on with them if you are at your wits end.

If it's just mildly unpleasant, I'd try to stick it out and see how it goes once they start getting a sense of routine. Or until you find another family to replace them.

I wish you the best!!

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I guess I am for 'it depends'

I too moved into a town where I no longer have a waiting list and trying to fill spots is harder. I understand and have had my back up against a wall putting up with things because I simply HAVE too.

I think that babies need schedules and even the fussiest baby will eventually settle....some day. Since we don't know what is making them cry, I would try and find things that work like separating them or moving the 3yr old during nap and letting the babies have a 'choir practice' together till they learn to settle on their own. Rub backs. Give toys. Music louder or softer. Darken a room. Whatever..... sometimes it is all about just trial and error. If it were ME, I would separate one into another room since it sounds like you were doing ok before the 2nd joined in. They sound like they are feeding off each other.

Would I say to term? I think it depends on what they are crying about, what you have tried, what your tolerance is currently at and your financial situation. If you are going insane, it might be worth letting at least one go. Sometimes stress becomes too much and an unhappy provider makes for unhappy days.

And know that I TOTALLY understand (((((((hug))))))))))

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My first child when I reopend was a 9 month old boy...who cried and screamed ALL the time. I kept thinking he would get better as he adjust. Then I kept thinking he would get better when I got more kids. Then I hoped he would get better as he got older.

I kept him for 9 horribly stressful months...couldn't tell you how many times i wrote out a text to mom saying I was going to have to let him go but never sent it.

I kept him because I'm a single grandmother raising my two grandkids and needed the income so I was going to term when I got my 3rd full time child...which never did happen during those 9 months I had him.

Finally one day his mom told me she was moving him to a daycare closer to her home. I was thrilled I didn't have to be the one to term him. 3 days after his last day she called me to see if I would take him back. NO!!!!!!!!

Best decision ever!!!! I didn't have to be the one to term. We left on great terms. My nerves and stress level (as well as that of the other two daycare kids) was so much better.

It hurt a little losing that income, but was sooooooo worth it to save my sanity. I will never do that again, even if it was the only child I had in care. Just not worth the mental anguish.

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I could have wrote the same post, I too stuck it out till they left.

what are their scheduals at home. At that age I think they should be more on a schedual, I'm just wondering if at home there is none and so its hard for you. I would give myself 2 weeks, and stick them both on the same schedual and then see how it goes from there. Babies at that age do nap in the morning. Also, get a sound machine, its a lifesaver.

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Thank you everyone for your advice... I'm still undecided...

Countrymom: I currently have them napping in separate rooms (though right next to each other since we live in an apartment) with fans and white noise. Unfortunately, neither of them have very consistent schedules. The 9 month old does not have a schedule at home (the parents told me this) and he is here inconsistently... one week he is here two days and the following week he is here four days. The 7 month old is here 5 days a week, however, his pick-up times vary everyday... He could be picked up anywhere between 11:00am and 4:15pm. It's very frustrating because I know they need consistency!

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Depending on your stress level (need for income vs losing your mind) I might try to tough it out long enough to get some bills covered and see if things improve or you find new kids that you can replace with. If you were terminating someone for sure I would get rid of part-timers first.

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I USED to keep high needs infants thinking I can deal and it wasn't such a biggie since I only have to deal as long as the day is and the baby would go home.

Then when I had my last high needs screamer baby, the other DCK's started saying things that told me in no uncertain terms that THEY couldn't deal and it wasn't fair to make them listen to or deal with the screaming and crying too.

The rest of the kids deserved a provider who could talk to them without having to talk loudly over the screaming.

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I would start interviewing for full time kids of any age and then replace the babies when you can. a full time baby on a consistent schedule has a much better chance of being happy at daycare than a part time baby on an inconsistent schedule. i would rather have them there more, if they are happy.

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I sometimes think we forget the toll a challenging dc kid can take on ALL the others in our care. I know when I had to let go of some kids it had gotten to the point where the other kids were coming in and saying "please don't let tommy and bobby be here today! I can't take the crying!" And my kids are usually very senstive/caring towards others but this was just too much. I am very blessed to never have been in a dire situaion where I must have/keep the child or else so I don't want to make light of that for those who have, but I would be cutting out cable, internet, etc rather than keep a child who is making everyone else unhappy.

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I would terminate one of the infants, like someone already recommended I too would term the baby that gave me the hardest time. If they are both equally the same temperament I would choose based on the one that had the most regular schedule and steadier income.

Once the baby that I kept got to about walking age then I would think about the possibility of adding a new and younger infant. You would still have 2 infants but one could be under 1yo while the other was 1yo.

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Lots of good advice. One more thing to contemplate is your reputation. I also live in a small town and terminating any one can be very tricky because word will spread. Is your town so small that terminating someone will hurt your reputation and make it difficult to find new clients.

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If terming someone because you can't reasonably meet their needs is considered a bad mark to your reputation, I don't think I would be doing child care.

If I need to term because I am unable to provide the type of care and attention a baby needs, I always make sure the parents know it is because I can't meet the child's needs.

To me, that says PROFESSIONAL.

I would be really hard pressed to respect a provider who kept a baby that didn't have or couldn't have their needs met simply so the provider could avoid tarnishing their reputation or kept them just for the money.

Being a child care provider means doing what is best for the child first...before the money or reputation aspect.

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I think this is a common problem when you don't get babies when they are between 6 weeks and 3 months. When they are young enough, you can get them on the routine you want them to be on. Taking on older babies becomes a bit more problematic. Especially when it comes to napping and/or having too many that are needy.

My suggestion would be to advertise for 12 months and up. Or, even 18 months and up. By 18 months, the child should be able to feed themselves, walk and do everything else older kids can do.

I think pinpointing the problem is where you need to start.

Why do you find it so difficult to watch 2 children under the age of 1? Is it the age, the kids, them together, etc? Can you make changes to the sleeping arrangements? (Music, dark room, keep them separate (or together if it works better), etc.

You said yourself that the one child has only been in your care for 2 weeks. I give all my kids a 1 month introductory period. Some kids take a bit longer to adapt.

If after another few weeks, I would discuss with the family his/her behavior at home, his/her sleep habits, etc. If after that, you've exhausted all options and things still aren't any better, I would look at terming.

Obviously it's entirely your decision what to do but for the sake of the child, I would give him/her a few more weeks to try to adjust.

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In my town, this would be an issue. Everyone talks, and it is all based on referral. If you are thinking of terming, then make sure you are communicating your concerns to the parents before terming. Come up with a plan of action with them. Cover all your bases. Make sure the parents know what you are observing, what you are doing to fix it, and what the possible outcome (terming) may be.

I agree with BC, and do think terming for the right reason is the professional thing to do if a child just isn't a good fit for your program.

I also know how those small town playground gossip sessions can go...kwim? You will not be there to explain why you needed to term another parent's sweet little baby. Your concerns probably won't be shared in those conversations, and it could impact word of mouth for your business in the beginning. It is a tough spot to be in - I know, was there! After my first year, however, I had a stellar reputation in my community and was able to be a little more selective in my kiddos.

Again, good luck! When first opening, there are so many issues to face...isolation, change in work environment, opening up your home, figuring out the balance, taking care of crying babies that aren't your own...it is exhausting. We can all testify to the fact that it DOES and WILL get easier.

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Thank you everyone!! Your thoughts are very helpful. This profession can be very stressful, so it's so nice that I can talk to other providers who understand You guys are great!!

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