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lynne 05:45 PM 05-28-2014
I'm wondering how many of us get taken advantage of? I have a so-so friend that has been really depressed, I offered to watch her 8 month old for free so she could find a job and get her **** together. I texted her today to let her know that I couldnt watch her baby tomorrow and she texted back that she really needs me because her carpenter is going to be there and that she's doing a bunch of remodling on her house. I've talked to her about paying me what she could but now i'm mad at myself.... I texted her back and told her she would have to have full payment for tomorrow and friday before I could watch her baby.....so who wants to bet she doesn't show. I have 2 babies coming tomorrow and feel i can't do more, 3 toddlers and 2 babies are my limit..LOL
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LysesKids 06:01 PM 05-28-2014
If she can afford remodeling, she can afford childcare. Never offer free to anyone because more than likely you will be the sucker… depressed or not, she needs to pay you
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sugar buzz 06:10 PM 05-28-2014
I gave a sibling discount to the only one of my DCFs, who ever asked me for one. Next week, both of their children start full-time private preschool. Weekly tuition for just one of their kids is what they paid me for both. NEVER AGAIN and chalk it up to a learning experience.
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Unregistered 06:24 PM 05-28-2014
I had an interview with two parents who were dean and teacher at a very expensive private school. Their 3 year old went to the most expensive Montessori preschool/school in the city. And for their baby they wanted ... cheap.

I was too expensive. They wanted to play "Let's Make a Deal" but I would not play. These people were wealthy compared to me. I should subsidize them?

So after half a dozen visits they "chose" my program. Set up an enrollment evening and ten minutes before the meeting they cancelled because they (yes, they flat-out said this ) found someone cheaper.

There are some people I will never understand.
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midaycare 07:05 PM 05-28-2014
Sorry . I have given 3 discounts so far. 1) This is to a friend who drives my son to taekwondo 2x a week and any other activities. I watch her son for free before and after school, but full price during the summer. After school, though, is literally about 10 minutes.

2) I have a friend of my son's coming 2x a week this summer. Normally I don't allow only 2x a week, but I had the space, so until I can fill it, it's hers. $5 day discount and she doesn't have to pay on vacation days or days she doesn't bring him. But ... It's not a guaranteed spot, either. I did this more for my son than anything.

3) I gave a family a sibling discount of $200 per month. I know they are hard working, though, and need to pinch pennies to afford me. The younger one is full price and the older one is less during the summer - otherwise she's in school.
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momofboys 07:27 PM 05-28-2014
Yes, if she can afford remodeling she can afford to pay for childcare! I had parents once who turned me down for childcare b/c they said since they were both teachers that paying me for the week would be equal to about one of their weekly salaries.. I checked their salaries online - not even close, of course. I charged $125/week at the time - their combined income was about 100K for the year so I just had to
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cheerfuldom 10:45 AM 05-29-2014
If you offer special treatment for a family, always set in clear boundaries and a deadline of when care ends.

"Kristen, I know you are struggling and I would love to help out. I can watch little Katie every time you have a job interview, just let me know the times you need and the place you are interviewing. Once you get a job, you are welcome to check with me for a permanent childcare spot but of course, at that time I would require payment like any of family"

Then every time she calls for a job interview, make sure you know the exact times for drop off and pickup and straight out ask "Where is your interview?" and dont be afraid to say "I am only helping out for job interviews. If you are not at an interview, Katie doesn't need to be here."

you need to know how to put boundaries on this.

At this point, I would ask "Kristen, I am confused about why you are paying for home renovations when I was told that you are struggling without a job. I offered some free child care so you can get back on your feet but if you are able to pay for things like home improvements, it doesn't seem like you really need the help financially that I thought you did. I am glad you are in a better place so if you need me, I would have to do childcare for my regular rates just like any other family. "
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Crazy8 12:15 PM 05-29-2014
I think I've covered all bases in not letting people take advantage of me. I've had people I thought were friends pretty much ignore me once I said no to them but that just shows what type of friend they really were. I don't do freebies for anyone. It may not be very kind hearted but its easier on me.
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lynne 03:40 PM 05-29-2014
Thank you for all your replies. I think cheerfuldom hit it right on the head, I love the way you worded it too Thank you! ....And I wont be doing free for anyone again. I did find out that instead of going to interviews she has been going home and vegging in front of the tv or sleeping.
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hope 04:23 PM 05-29-2014
I feel like the odd one out here but......The remodeling may be necessary and unexpected fixes. When my DH was on disability we were hurting and just making ends meet. Our upstairs bathroom pipes broke and leaked into my downstairs bathroom. I had to gut the bathroom and fix the pipes and re do the flooded bathroom. I did whatever work I could myself so that the insurance check would cover the rest. I did hear comments from a few as to how I could afford a new bathroom. It didn't occur to me to tell people the back story of why I was remodeling, I just would say in passing that it was being worked on.
So before you judge I would have a talk with your friend and find out what this remodel is all about. You may be upset over nothing.
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lynne 05:20 PM 05-29-2014
She's having new doors put in the whole inside of her house and new carpeting, painting rooms, new light fixtures. last week she dropped off and when she came to pickup had a new color and haircut and said she got a massage....she probably tipped the massuse more than I charge a day. thats why I'm not helping her anymore.
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hope 05:22 PM 05-29-2014
Originally Posted by lynne:
She's having new doors put in the whole inside of her house and new carpeting, painting rooms, new light fixtures. last week she dropped off and when she came to pickup had a new color and haircut and said she got a massage....she probably tipped the massuse more than I charge a day. thats why I'm not helping her anymore.
I apologize then. I didn't realize you already knew the details.
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lynne 05:26 PM 05-29-2014
Thanks, I should have been clearer when I posted, Have a fantastic evening!!
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NightOwl 06:51 PM 05-29-2014
My sister takes advantage of me daily. You know, because she deserves special treatment, because she's a princess, because I shouldn't actually charge her anything at all because we're sisters, never mind that this is my sole source of income and she understood that from the beginning. Never mind all of that. She's the only one who is EVER late paying, late picking up, always arrives late, etc. Sigh.... I feel your pain.
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cheerfuldom 06:54 PM 05-29-2014
Originally Posted by lynne:
Thank you for all your replies. I think cheerfuldom hit it right on the head, I love the way you worded it too Thank you! ....And I wont be doing free for anyone again. I did find out that instead of going to interviews she has been going home and vegging in front of the tv or sleeping.
not cool. I don't help people that aren't helping themselves. No way am I going to add on to my day so you can catch up on soaps. Life sucks sometimes. Get off the couch and deal with it like the rest of us.

Sounds like she was taking advantage of you. If you knew that there was a serious health issue or even severe depression or something like that going on, that is one thing but she clearly had enough energy to coordinate home improvements so it must not be that bad.
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