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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Do You Deal With Intentional Damage?
Unregistered 05:45 PM 06-04-2018
The month of May was full of destruction. All from the same child, dcg 3. Episode 1 was at pick up. She acts obnoxious at pick up and yanks her coat so hard from the hook that she pulls it out of the wall along with drywall as well. Episode two she pushed and forced swinging baby gate hard in wrong direction stripping all the screws from the wall. Episode 3, pulled stitching out of my couch. Parents never said sorry. I termed this family but going forward how do you handle intentional damage. Honestly, a sorry would have been nice for starters.
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LysesKids 07:25 PM 06-04-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
The month of May was full of destruction. All from the same child, dcg 3. Episode 1 was at pick up. She acts obnoxious at pick up and yanks her coat so hard from the hook that she pulls it out of the wall along with drywall as well. Episode two she pushed and forced swinging baby gate hard in wrong direction stripping all the screws from the wall. Episode 3, pulled stitching out of my couch. Parents never said sorry. I termed this family but going forward how do you handle intentional damage. Honestly, a sorry would have been nice for starters.
When I took older kids (years ago), I had a written policy that required a parent pay to replace/fix intentionally damage property whether it was mine or someone else - this included stuff broken by older siblings that came with a parent @ pick up time; no pay, no stay. I gave families 7 days & then termed if not paid (once I termed on the spot just because of how it went down); now I only do under 24 months & haven't had much issue even with toddlers.
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hwichlaz 08:17 PM 06-04-2018
School aged parents have to pay.
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Josiegirl 01:55 AM 06-05-2018
Ugh! So glad you termed this dcg and the dcf. WTH is it with a parent who simply can't say I'm sorry?? Did she at least speak loudly and firmly to her dd? I try not to raise my voice but dang, those instances would've warranted a stronger reaction than 'oh look what you did, how do you think that makes dcprovider feel?' KWIM?

I do think I'd add something to my policies that you have the right to charge for intentional damages at your discretion and as another PP said, you also have the right to term immediately if payment refused.
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Blackcat31 06:33 AM 06-05-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
The month of May was full of destruction. All from the same child, dcg 3. Episode 1 was at pick up. She acts obnoxious at pick up and yanks her coat so hard from the hook that she pulls it out of the wall along with drywall as well. Episode two she pushed and forced swinging baby gate hard in wrong direction stripping all the screws from the wall. Episode 3, pulled stitching out of my couch. Parents never said sorry. I termed this family but going forward how do you handle intentional damage. Honestly, a sorry would have been nice for starters.
I am going to be the odd duck here and say that I would never charge a parent for damage a child did on my watch.
(Including SA kids.)

One incident is one thing. More than one and it is no longer solely the fault of the child..usually isn't fully child's fault anyways but once is one thing. Twice and it becomes a lot more complicated.

As a parent I would never enroll my child in a program in which the provider has a policy stating parents are responsible for damage. It simply isn't something I agree with from either parent or provider perspective.
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Cat Herder 06:56 AM 06-05-2018
"I termed this family but going forward how do you handle intentional damage."

I would have done the same if I could not find an escalation pattern to disrupt or workable behavior plan to prevent the damage.

I have charged for individual sheet and nap mat replacement for sensory chewers, pickers, and tearers as part of our overall behavioral plan. I must give them daily access, no exceptions, so limiting opportunity is not an option. If the cover has a tear in it during an inspection, I will be written up.

I pay for the first two (fleece sheets, heavy duty mats, 3 inches), they pay from then on. IME, The issue becomes resolved pretty quickly after parents have to help cover costs.
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Mike 07:09 AM 06-05-2018
I'm with BC on this one. Once a child is under my care, it would be my responsibility. At pickup or dropoff might be considered to be parents responsibility, but from the time parent walks out, to the time child meets parent at the door, mine.

If a child does damage, I would try to teach the child, but if uncontrollable, term.
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hwichlaz 08:18 AM 06-05-2018
So far my daycare parents have been great about it. Example....dcg very carefully, discreetly, picked the paint off the wall by her nap mat. She admitted it was because she was angry with me. She peeked through her eyelashes to see when I was watching, and picked the paint off where Id had a mural painted. Dad brought in spakle and matching paint at the end of the next day, made dcg assist him with repairs, then took away her screen time for a week.
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Unregistered 08:34 AM 06-05-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I am going to be the odd duck here and say that I would never charge a parent for damage a child did on my watch.
(Including SA kids.)

One incident is one thing. More than one and it is no longer solely the fault of the child..usually isn't fully child's fault anyways but once is one thing. Twice and it becomes a lot more complicated.

As a parent I would never enroll my child in a program in which the provider has a policy stating parents are responsible for damage. It simply isn't something I agree with from either parent or provider perspective.
Ummm ok....however 2 of these things happened at pick up while parent was here. Is that my fault? I never said I wanted to charge them anything. Just wanted to see how you all handle destruction that is done ON PURPOSE. Also, if things get broken by the child ON PURPOSE it is not the childs fault? Huh? If I brake something it is my fault. Just looking for input that makes sense.
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Mike 08:36 AM 06-05-2018
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
So far my daycare parents have been great about it. Example....dcg very carefully, discreetly, picked the paint off the wall by her nap mat. She admitted it was because she was angry with me. She peeked through her eyelashes to see when I was watching, and picked the paint off where Id had a mural painted. Dad brought in spakle and matching paint at the end of the next day, made dcg assist him with repairs, then took away her screen time for a week.
That's one of the things I always did in my babysitting years. Kids do damage, they help with repairs, age appropriately of course, but even little ones can help.
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Jupadia 08:56 AM 06-05-2018
I don't take SA kids but only cause they take a spot and parents don't want to pay full toddler fees. Plus with my own kids pick up I have enough not worrying about picking up other kids. But I've had kids break things on purpose. I've taken the hit and made sure to put prevention in place to stop the behaviour. If I was not able to stop it I would term fairly fast. I would also let parents know because their reaction is going to let me know if this is something that we can work on. But if a Dk where to break something on purpose and then mom and dad surg it off as nothing or reward child that day (saw it happen at a centre boy4 sent home and was picked up and taken out to a chick e cheese parents told him as he was leaving) then I may term right away. But I would still replace it fix broken thing without having parents pay for it.
Now if parent where to break something like drive on lawn or a flower box then I charge them since the parent is not in my care.
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Blackcat31 08:58 AM 06-05-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Ummm ok....however 2 of these things happened at pick up while parent was here. Is that my fault? I never said I wanted to charge them anything. Just wanted to see how you all handle destruction that is done ON PURPOSE. Also, if things get broken by the child ON PURPOSE it is not the childs fault? Huh? If I brake something it is my fault. Just looking for input that makes sense.
Um, I never said to charge the parent of this child.
You said you termed them. Problem solved.

You asked how others handled intentional damage.
I stated my opinion.
It was not based on the child in your original post or your situation.

In answering your additional questions, I don't know who's fault it was in your situation. I wasn't there and don't know you or the child so I can't and didn't comment on that.

As for purposeful behavior...I don't know... I deal with the under 5 crowd only. There isn't much I feel is purposeful in regards to physical damage as these are children that don't yet fully understand the concept of cause and effect and rely on the adults in their world to control those things while they learn.

If a child destroys something while the parent is present, I would speak up and say something immediately. I would not allow the situation to have the option or opportunity to become a repeat incident. But like I said in my first post.... every situation is different and more complex as they occur.

A child's fault or your fault? Huh?
You are comparing apples to oranges.
I hold adults to a different set of expectations than I do children.

I'm sorry if you didn't like my reply but you asked.
It wasn't personal and wasn't based on your situation so not sure how you are connecting the dots.
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LysesKids 09:17 AM 06-05-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I am going to be the odd duck here and say that I would never charge a parent for damage a child did on my watch.
(Including SA kids.)

One incident is one thing. More than one and it is no longer solely the fault of the child..usually isn't fully child's fault anyways but once is one thing. Twice and it becomes a lot more complicated.

As a parent I would never enroll my child in a program in which the provider has a policy stating parents are responsible for damage. It simply isn't something I agree with from either parent or provider perspective.
See in my case, my policy was put into place because it was older siblings (and a parent once) that did the damage, not the children in my care... I was renting at the time & in order for the landlord to allow it, I had to have something in place in case his property was affected. In the case of the termed family, it went as far as the police being called because of the parent doing the damage to my car & the yard ( tried to run his car thru my garden on side of the house after hitting my car); It started because I turned them away for the day due to extreme lateness without notice & I closed as it was the only family scheduled
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LittleScholars 11:47 AM 06-05-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
The month of May was full of destruction. All from the same child, dcg 3. Episode 1 was at pick up. She acts obnoxious at pick up and yanks her coat so hard from the hook that she pulls it out of the wall along with drywall as well. Episode two she pushed and forced swinging baby gate hard in wrong direction stripping all the screws from the wall. Episode 3, pulled stitching out of my couch. Parents never said sorry. I termed this family but going forward how do you handle intentional damage. Honestly, a sorry would have been nice for starters.
I wouldn't charge for intentional damage on my watch, and and, in reality, probably not for damage caused while a parent is here. I do understand the real shift in behavior that can happen at times of transition. With that being said, when children act differently while parents are on the property they are required to leave IMMEDIATELY and parents are explicitly told why. I had to put that policy in place for a family once and they addressed the issue. Personally, I don't mind when parents that pick up early stick around a chat for a few minutes. I like getting to know them all well, but I expect behavior to remain the same or they are not invited to stay.
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