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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Informing Sounds Like Complaining!
daycare 04:52 PM 04-04-2011
I have a dcb that has an issue on a daily basis. Potty mouth, won't listen and etc. I always take a min or two to inform mom/dad at pick up how their day went. I don't give every last detail, but when something happens that disrupts the other kids or more than a large majority of the child's day I will inform the parents.

So today at pick up I inform DCM that the boy had an ok day. However, there were some issues with potty mouth. I reminded the boy that he needed to use better words and that he was to tell him mom at pick up. Of course he did not tell his mom and I had to inform her.

So they leave and within 20min I get an email saying that she is thinking about changing DC because it seems like I complain about him all of the time. That every day it's something else and she feels like he has worn out his welcome here.

I have not responded to her, but in some ways I have seen this coming. Why? Becuase every day there is something else. I have posted about this boy here in the past and was able to get someone to come and elvaluate his behavior, but that has not happened yet. It will not take place until May.

So my question is, how you do inform parents when their kids are constantly breaking rules, or having a bad day without sounding like you are complaining about their kid.

BTW. I don't tell DCP every last detail, just important things i think they should know.
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Unregistered 05:06 PM 04-04-2011
I had a child that had one issue after another. I have a protocol I follow. Warning, time-out, separation from group and finally a note home. I don't get into the daily discipline unless a parent specifically asks or if there is a note sent home. I know if I was a parent and all daycare provider did was tell me a list of issues my child had I would feel like they didn't like my child or want them there.
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PitterPatter 05:14 PM 04-04-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I have a dcb that has an issue on a daily basis. Potty mouth, won't listen and etc. I always take a min or two to inform mom/dad at pick up how their day went. I don't give every last detail, but when something happens that disrupts the other kids or more than a large majority of the child's day I will inform the parents.

So today at pick up I inform DCM that the boy had an ok day. However, there were some issues with potty mouth. I reminded the boy that he needed to use better words and that he was to tell him mom at pick up. Of course he did not tell his mom and I had to inform her.

So they leave and within 20min I get an email saying that she is thinking about changing DC because it seems like I complain about him all of the time. That every day it's something else and she feels like he has worn out his welcome here.

I have not responded to her, but in some ways I have seen this coming. Why? Becuase every day there is something else. I have posted about this boy here in the past and was able to get someone to come and elvaluate his behavior, but that has not happened yet. It will not take place until May.

So my question is, how you do inform parents when their kids are constantly breaking rules, or having a bad day without sounding like you are complaining about their kid.

BTW. I don't tell DCP every last detail, just important things i think they should know.
I had this problem with a 2yr old child that was always beating me up etc. Not sure if u saw that older post I made. DCM sent me a text saying her son wouldnt be back because she didn't like people downing her kid. A couple days later she brought him to me and said she didn't mean it she just had a bad day at work.

He was my only kid at the time and I needed the income to live so I just decided I will not give any more negative reports. If she asked how he was the reply was "he was ok" or "he was fine" She didn't like hearing so much negative but back then that's what he was 90% of the time. If I had other children at the time I may have told her I was sorry but this is how our day goes etc.

When I do have to give a bad report I try to give a good point of the day to go along with it to soften the blow I guess and so I don't seem so negative.
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Michelle 06:26 PM 04-04-2011
I try to tell them in a positive way like
"Sally is still learning to share"
or "we are still learning that hitting is not o.k. "

It sounds more positive and it relays to them that you are working on it at daycare.
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cheerfuldom 06:32 PM 04-04-2011
It is really hard to deal with a difficult child in combination with a sensitive parent. I had one little boy like this and his parents pulled him after awhile with one of the reasons being that they felt my comments showed that I did not like him anymore. This wasn't the case at all and I was trying to work with them specifically with certain issues. For them it was easier to move on to another provider and assume it was me that had a problem and not the fact that their little angel had turned into a little monster (he was like this all the time, not just for me). However, I have come to the point where less is really more. If it is not an issue that I would terminate for than I don't mention it and just find a way to deal with it on my own. If I feel that the parent really is open to working on things together and really does want to know the good with the bad than yes, I will start having those discussions but still step lightly if I can. The potty mouth and general disrespect you were having with him would be a deal breaker for me so perhaps it is best that he is pulled now, seeing as how his mom didn't seem to be doing anything specific to change this behavior (or at least you didn't mention her doing anything about it). No one wants to hear that their kid is acting up and that sort of thing so it does take a mature parent to hear it from a provider and realize that it is given out of concern and hope that thing can be addressed. My own two are a handful at times at church or other places we go and does get that mother bear instinct up but I try to remember that almost all of these things I know to be true and it is important that I be in the know for their behavior and be able to correct those (instead of getting offended and staying in denial)
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daycare 06:34 PM 04-04-2011
I feel I have tried to be very positive about the issues. Example: *** had a much better day today and was very helpful, but we had some issues with potty mouth. I know she feels like I'm complaining because there is a daily issue. There have even been days I just don't say anything at all to avoid sounding like I'm complaining.
But it is not working....
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Michelle 06:50 PM 04-04-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I feel I have tried to be very positive about the issues. Example: *** had a much better day today and was very helpful, but we had some issues with potty mouth. I know she feels like I'm complaining because there is a daily issue. There have even been days I just don't say anything at all to avoid sounding like I'm complaining.
But it is not working....
have you thought about video taping him in full "potty mouth mode?" you can video him and your appropriate response to his behavior right on your cell phone, then she can see and hear what her perfect child is doing...she probably already knows, he is probably learning those words at home.
He probably does this at church, friends homes , etc. but its worth a try.
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daycare 07:01 PM 04-04-2011
The worst part Is that she knows he has a major behavior issue and ha also agreed to allow for a behavior evaluation to be conducted. I guess she is just tired of hearing about it, just as much as I am telling her about it.

He's a really sweet boy, I believe he may hVe ADD or ADHD but I'm not capable of making that diagnoses. I really hope mom does not pull him as I can't afford another cut in pay...
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DBug 02:35 AM 04-05-2011
I don't know, I'm of the opinion that what happens at daycare stays at daycare. If kids get time outs, I write it down on their communication log (eg. "1 timout for hitting"). If mom or dad asks about it, I'll elaborate, but other than that, it's been dealt with, so why rehash it, kwim?

If it's something WAY out of the ordinary, I'll specifically mention it. But if this dcb has a potty mouth most of the time, I'd give him the appropriate consequence and be done with it. If he had a better day than usual, I'd mention that to the mom, but otherwise, I'd just leave it and not tell her about it. Parents have long days too, and I always figure they probably don't want more issues to deal with when they're picking up their kids (unless it's a REALLY big deal).
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mac60 02:52 AM 04-05-2011
I agree with Dbug. I realize no parent wants to hear what their child did wrong every day, so unless it is a big ticket item, I don't bother bringing it up. Many times the child will tell on him/her self anyways. And, I also feel that the parents of these kids who are constantly in trouble know their kid is a brat, or has potty mouth, etc, they don't really care and/or don't really ever do anything about it.
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PitterPatter 03:23 AM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by DBug:
I don't know, I'm of the opinion that what happens at daycare stays at daycare. If kids get time outs, I write it down on their communication log (eg. "1 timout for hitting"). If mom or dad asks about it, I'll elaborate, but other than that, it's been dealt with, so why rehash it, kwim?

If it's something WAY out of the ordinary, I'll specifically mention it. But if this dcb has a potty mouth most of the time, I'd give him the appropriate consequence and be done with it. If he had a better day than usual, I'd mention that to the mom, but otherwise, I'd just leave it and not tell her about it. Parents have long days too, and I always figure they probably don't want more issues to deal with when they're picking up their kids (unless it's a REALLY big deal).
What is a communication log exactly?
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TBird 06:02 AM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by Michelle:
I try to tell them in a positive way like
"Sally is still learning to share"
or "we are still learning that hitting is not o.k. "

It sounds more positive and it relays to them that you are working on it at daycare.
I agree...you always have to "sandwich" the comments.....

"Little Johnny was so good at cleaning up and sharing today!" "We're still working on the hitting issue, but he only had one incident today." "Good job Buddy...look forward to seeing you tomorrow."

Something like that. Pick your battles and ALWAYS make a mental note of something positive to say!
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Blackcat31 06:30 AM 04-05-2011
I am also in the "if it happens here; it stays here" camp. I only report to parents if they ask about a specific behavior that we may have been working collectively on curbing or encouraging or if it is a really really bad behavior (which is different for each child).

For every challenging behavior there is a function involved. What is it the child trying to get or trying to avoid? Finding out the function behind the behavior is the key to stopping the behavior.
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tulip1969 06:50 AM 04-05-2011
It sounds like you financially need to keep this child around and the mom is not really helping with this problem. In this case I would only tell the mom if he physically hurts another child. If it is the potty mouth I would try to work on it with him as best I can such as rewarding all of the children with a sticker or fun activity if they don't use bad words. Appologise to the mom and tell her you did not mean to sound that way and mention all of the great qualities her child posesses.
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missnikki 06:56 AM 04-05-2011
I guess if you look at it from the practical perspective, telling mom everyday will not acheive the desired results. I mean, if you are constantly getting on this kid for pottymouth, then threaten to tell mom about pottymouth, then tell mom about pottymouth, then mom talks to boy about pottymouth, EVERY DAY, it's going to lose its 'umph'.

I think the desired outcome here is for the child to stop using pottymouth, not for mom to find out about it each time. (That's why she pays you- to help the kiddo learn proper social graces while she is not able to be there). So it sounds like you have a difficult student to model for.

I would start working on the little guy with praises of good behavior, practice using the words you like, and generally attacking the issue on your own. Give mom only positive progress reports at this point. If the issues persist, then you need to schedule a meeting with mom to discuss concerns so she can be prepared to act as a team with you instead of getting put on the dfensive at pick up.

It's going to take mom a while to unwind at pickup since 'informing' is all she hears everyday. Give her a couple of weeks off and pick your battles.
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DBug 07:12 AM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by Tygerluv:
What is a communication log exactly?
Just the name I gave to the daily reports I do for the parents. I use the Parent Notes from Funshine Express (they have check boxes for diapers, food eaten, etc, etc).
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MN Mom 07:45 AM 04-05-2011
You know, not to start a debate here but....

I remember (waaaaaaay back) when I was 5 or 6. I said a few naughty words to my mother and you know what I got? A mouthful of soap. I never swore at her again. She also instructed my day care lady (and close family friend) to give me a bar of soap if I start getting sassy with her....It only took the threat of "giving me the soap" and I was a perfect angel!!

I'm not saying that DCP should be able to do this, however...because in todays society it is probably considered cruel and unusual punishment. It's more of a flashback in time, hey I remember when moment

Carry on!!
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daycare 07:52 AM 04-05-2011
lol I can relate...allthough it was my grandma who did it to me for saying boobies....I will never forget it for as long as I live...
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daycare 08:03 AM 04-05-2011
So here is the thing, I never tell dcm every last detail of what went wrong, otherwise we would be in an hour talk all day.

I only inform parents when it is something that i feel they need to know. If it is an issue that I can't control or if it is something way out of line.

Mom knows that there are major issues with his behavior. She does try to assist me in any way possible to resolve the issues.

Everyday that this child is here, he throws toys, potty mouth, refuses to listen or can't listen, and lately he has been telling the other kids to do bad things. Ex: yesterday we were playing with playdough and he told one of the DCG "hey throw that playdough at the wall, or throw it at other DCG"

I chose to only tell the mom about the potty mouth yesterday, becuase the other kids were picking up on it and this is something that he has to be getting from home because he is the only one here who starts it. At pick up for one of my other DCK the kid ran up to their mom and said *** said $hit head today. The mom looked at me and said what, really.. I told her that I planned to talk to mom about it AGAIN.

When DCM comes to pick up sir potty mouth, this is what I say to both mom and child: " *** had an ok day today, overall not too bad, however, he did have some issues with using potty mouth again today. We know how to use good words and have talked about the good words that we can say, like silly billy and etc." I then get down to the level of DCB and tell him, "guess what, tomorrow is a new day and we can try to have an even better day tomorrow, go home and pratice your good words with mom." I tell mom that other kids were picking up on it and that we really need to focus on him using good words. I say no more..

So are all of you guys saying that I need to not tell mom anymore when her son is breaking rules and just try to deal with them the best that I can here? Like I said, I don't tell every thing to parents, just those things that i can't seem to get a grip on.....
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DBug 08:35 AM 04-05-2011
Okay, I might have missed it, but when you referred to it as "potty mouth" I was thinking things like "poopy head", not "$hit head". That would be incredibly unacceptable in my house -- not even my husband and I use words like that in private. I would be separating the child and he would be playing by himself,either in a playpen or play yard. The other kids would pick up on that kind of language really quickly, and I definitely would NOT want parents to think it had been picked up from me or one of my family members.

I'm thinking that may actually be something I would term on, if it's a habitual thing, and I'm one that's not quick to jump to permanent solutions like that!

Yikes, good luck. That's a tough place to be in, and definitely something I WOULD be talking to mom about every time it happened!
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marniewon 08:37 AM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:

When DCM comes to pick up sir potty mouth, this is what I say to both mom and child: " *** had an ok day today, overall not too bad, however, he did have some issues with using potty mouth again today. We know how to use good words and have talked about the good words that we can say, like silly billy and etc." I then get down to the level of DCB and tell him, "guess what, tomorrow is a new day and we can try to have an even better day tomorrow, go home and pratice your good words with mom." I tell mom that other kids were picking up on it and that we really need to focus on him using good words. I say no more..

So are all of you guys saying that I need to not tell mom anymore when her son is breaking rules and just try to deal with them the best that I can here? Like I said, I don't tell every thing to parents, just those things that i can't seem to get a grip on.....
I guess I don't agree with the majority of the pp's in regards to not telling mom anything. This is something that dcm should be working on with him at home!! It is affecting your business and your other clients and you don't want to lose them because of this child. Same with hitting/pushing - if it's a daily thing, either mom needs to be working on this with you to correct it or dcb needs one to one care, as he doesn't seem to be able to play nice with others. Mom can't help if she doesn't know.

What I would do is have a conference with her, let her know they are on probation. List the offenses that are serious enough to warrant a termination (basically anything that this child is doing that could cause you to lose clients). Keep a log all day and at the end of the day, send it home. Don't say anything to mom at pick up, she'll know it's all right there in the log. In the log, make sure to note the positive as well as the negative. This may help her to see that she needs to take an active role (or more active role) in helping dcb do well in society.

In the conference, let her know that you know after working all day the last thing she wants to hear is how bad her kid was. Let her know about the probation, and the log, and that she can look over the log at any point in the evening and call/text/email any questions. That way you don't come off as complaining every day.

Of course, this will only work if you can afford to get rid of him if the probation period does not go the way you want it to. Although, I don't see at this point how you can afford to keep him like this - you will eventually lose the rest of your clients if you choose to keep him the way he is .
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Live and Learn 08:46 AM 04-05-2011
In an effort to keep this dc family you might lose the others. If I had my kid in daycare I wouldn't want my child exposed to that type of language.
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daycare 09:00 AM 04-05-2011
this is exactly what I am afraid of. I have great GREAT families and when they hear the words that this child is using, even they are shocked. The DCB comes across very sweet and helpful, which he is a lot of the time.

I am going to get all of my documents together and pull out when this issue started and schedule a conference with mom. I was really hoping to wait until after the eval took place, but I don't think that it can wait.

Thanks so much for all of your help, support and advice. I know now what I need to do and am going to make sure this gets taken care of asap.

thanks ladies...........oh and if any of you are male, thank you too...lol
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Kaddidle Care 09:04 AM 04-05-2011
Well here's my opinion on it. Just my opinion, take it or leave it. If you DON'T tell the parents about the problems you are having, there will be no follow up at home and when the child does it at home, they will blame the Daycare for it. Round and round we go!

From one of your posts: "The worst part Is that she knows he has a major behavior issue and ha also agreed to allow for a behavior evaluation to be conducted. I guess she is just tired of hearing about it, just as much as I am telling her about it. "

So.. when is the behavior evaluation going to happen? Has she scheduled something yet or does she prefer to stick her head in the sand some more?
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daycare 09:16 AM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
Well here's my opinion on it. Just my opinion, take it or leave it. If you DON'T tell the parents about the problems you are having, there will be no follow up at home and when the child does it at home, they will blame the Daycare for it. Round and round we go!

From one of your posts: "The worst part Is that she knows he has a major behavior issue and ha also agreed to allow for a behavior evaluation to be conducted. I guess she is just tired of hearing about it, just as much as I am telling her about it. "

So.. when is the behavior evaluation going to happen? Has she scheduled something yet or does she prefer to stick her head in the sand some more?
lol..the eval will take place in May. I am still waiting for the lady who will be conducting the eval to get back to me on an exact week that she will be able to come. DCB will be leaving to see his dad in a few days, so I have to wait for him to come back. UGH..

not that I have anything aganist miltary, but dad is in the marine core and I think that this is where DCB gets a lot of his potty mouth from..... DCM told me that DCD thinks it's funny...... But DCD only gets his a few times out of the year.... sad
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PitterPatter 09:20 AM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by DBug:
Just the name I gave to the daily reports I do for the parents. I use the Parent Notes from Funshine Express (they have check boxes for diapers, food eaten, etc, etc).
Oh ok thank u. I have done something like that but I always make my own up. Thanks for clearing that up I thought I was missing out on something.
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Unregistered 09:28 AM 04-05-2011
If there needs to be follow-up at home, then I talk it over with the parents. But, it does no good to just to tell the parents the same thing every day.

Also, all misbehavior is relative. For a normally very good kiddo to not listen to me one day, I would tell the parents. For a child who typically doesn't listen to me, I'm not going to mention it everyday, but I will make mention if they have a particularly good (or a very bad) day.
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countrymom 10:30 AM 04-05-2011
acually I can understand what mom is saying, she doesn't want to hear everyday that her ds has done something wrong. I think you need to pick and choose what you want to tell her. Also, are you punishing him for his behavior, I also when I have to come down to it I will reward for good behavior, I hate to do it but sometimes you have to.
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daycare 10:39 AM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
acually I can understand what mom is saying, she doesn't want to hear everyday that her ds has done something wrong. I think you need to pick and choose what you want to tell her. Also, are you punishing him for his behavior, I also when I have to come down to it I will reward for good behavior, I hate to do it but sometimes you have to.
mom and I are doing a reward chat. he gets smiley faces every time he does something good. i am the praise queen, I really am. I will tell him everything good, even if he is just doing nothing, I will tell him, Wow you are sitting so nice and quiet that is really nice to see. WOuld you like to read a book with me?

Yes, I do give him time to reflect as well. he is 4.5, so he knows the difference between right and wrong. I will give me 3 chances with the same issue before he will have to get seperated from the rest of the group to play alone.... if its really bad, I will not allow him to play, but just sit there and think about what he did wrong and how we can make it better....

I am really looking forward to meeting with the lady that will come to conduct the behavior eval on him. I am also frustrated of having to tell, remind, and punish him for his behavior and am looking forward to learn how to help him improve......
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Blackcat31 10:40 AM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
acually I can understand what mom is saying, she doesn't want to hear everyday that her ds has done something wrong. I think you need to pick and choose what you want to tell her. Also, are you punishing him for his behavior, I also when I have to come down to it I will reward for good behavior, I hate to do it but sometimes you have to.
Since curbing a bad behavior requires support from both the daycare provider and the parents at home, countrymom has a good idea. Why not try to focus on one single behavior and work your way down from most severe to less severe? Talk with mom ahead of time and set up some guidelines as to what is okay and what is not and what the consequences are going to be BOTH at home and at care. Then have a discussion with the child and make sure he understands.

Expectations and consequences should be clear and non-negotiable. Once you establish this, you and mom can support one another and work towards a common goal. If she asks how his day was you can simply say "He had a good day" or "a not so good day" and leave it simply at that.

She will know what having a bad day is if she is on board with the whole one behavior at a time process. If she needs more info, let her do the asking.
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cheerfuldom 10:45 AM 04-05-2011
I hope you get everything resolved! I don't think people were saying that you shouldn't tell mom, only that you need to think carefully about what is said and if there is any benefit to saying it. Some parents want to know, are proactive about curbing the behaviors, support your plan at daycare while others....not so much. Some parents will do nothing with the information you provide and will only see it as complaining because they feel it is not their problem or aren't planning to change what they do at home anyway. You know this family and your daycare set up best so its up to you to decide what is the best way to handle this. It sounds like you are very proactive and trying to make things work for all involved. The mom sounds like she could really use the support.
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daycare 10:45 AM 04-05-2011
I do say he had an ok day and the DCM will asked well what happened....lol

so yes, she is asking me waht happened, but then is complaining to me that she doesn't want to hear it....go figure..

I will do my best to just say... he had an ok day and not elaborate on anything else..

I do like countrymom's idea. I will sit and talk with mom today after DC and tell her that we need to rethink the plan we set before. Yes, one thing at a time......
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Blackcat31 10:49 AM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I do say he had an ok day and the DCM will asked well what happened....lol

so yes, she is asking me waht happened, but then is complaining to me that she doesn't want to hear it....go figure..
I will do my best to just say... he had an ok day and not elaborate on anything else..

I do like countrymom's idea. I will sit and talk with mom today after DC and tell her that we need to rethink the plan we set before. Yes, one thing at a time......
Sometimes the parents are just looking for attention the same way their kiddos are.....by having contradicting behaviors LOL!!!.....I guess you can't please everyone all of the time so bottom line is: Do what works for YOU and your business. When her poo gets too deep and the problems are multiplying....just say "Good-bye, nice knowing you" and smile as she leaves knowing you did your best and that she will not find greener grass on the other side but you will be undoubtedly relieved.... Hang in there!
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daycare 10:55 AM 04-05-2011
lol...very true...

I am hanging in there like no other... just a little history on this DCK he has beek kicked out of 8 other daycars in less than 2 years. SO mom knows that she has it good here with me. He has been here almost a year.... Longest he has ever been in one daycare in his entire life...

He will start school this year, so I am counting the days...lol BUT I am also using this as a learning experience. I want to better myself by being able to accomidate all children and parents. As well as learn how to give better reports......

again thanks so much for all of your help..
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jen2651 03:24 PM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by MN Mom:
You know, not to start a debate here but....

I remember (waaaaaaay back) when I was 5 or 6. I said a few naughty words to my mother and you know what I got? A mouthful of soap. I never swore at her again. She also instructed my day care lady (and close family friend) to give me a bar of soap if I start getting sassy with her....It only took the threat of "giving me the soap" and I was a perfect angel!!

I'm not saying that DCP should be able to do this, however...because in todays society it is probably considered cruel and unusual punishment. It's more of a flashback in time, hey I remember when moment

Carry on!!
My mom made me brush my teeth with dawn dish soap after I said naughty words...it was horrible! Not only that but the taste of the soap stayed on your toothbrush for a good week after that. That punishment in itself was enough!

Not that we can do that, I was just remembering how things 'used to be'!
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daycare 03:27 PM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by jen2651:
My mom made me brush my teeth with dawn dish soap after I said naughty words...it was horrible! Not only that but the taste of the soap stayed on your toothbrush for a good week after that. That punishment in itself was enough!

Not that we can do that, I was just remembering how things 'used to be'!
man how times have changed...I was joking with my mom about all the stuff she did to my sister and I as punishment growing up. I said wow do you know how many mothers would be behind bars today.........mom my didn't find that so funny......
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Kaddidle Care 03:51 PM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
not that I have anything aganist miltary, but dad is in the marine core and I think that this is where DCB gets a lot of his potty mouth from..... DCM told me that DCD thinks it's funny
Hilarious - especially when you bring the child to Church.

Interestingly enough, a Marine told me he gives his son a spoonful of vinigar when he uses foul language. I can't imagine this boy ever using foul language - he's such a good kid.
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daycare 03:56 PM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
Hilarious - especially when you bring the child to Church.

Interestingly enough, a Marine told me he gives his son a spoonful of vinigar when he uses foul language. I can't imagine this boy ever using foul language - he's such a good kid.
lol my ex- was military and he is the same as your friend. If he said jump you didnt respond how high, you jumpped...lol

I guess this dck is very young and immature...lol the kid always walks around saying hoo-ya and boo-ya....I don't consider that potty mouth, but I know he gets that from dad.
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countrymom 05:00 PM 04-05-2011
thats awesome that you have not terminated him. Acually I was telling my dc friend (she is my back up provider and lives next door to my sister) how I have this family that drive me crazy, lots of issues, not serious ones but enough somedays to drive me nuts. But I was telling her, that the kids missed me so much last week (remember I was in florida) that they couldn't wait to come back. the thing is, is that they love to come here because its a stable household, I have rules, I take care of their needs and the kids love that. I know that their household is messed up and that their are no rules, I think thats why I haven't terminated them, its because I know that no matter where they go they will never have it as good as in my house.

also, since my back up had my one dcb last week, well apparently all the boy did was talk about my house and how much he loved it here, heck even the dad kept saying it to her. So she was like, "what the heck are you doing at your house that the kids want to stay all the time there" I didn't want to tell her, but we do alot of stuff together (we are making jello molds this week that I got at meijers and mini donuts)
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countrymom 05:03 PM 04-05-2011
hey, you know whats a good idea, when he swears go and make him brush his teeth. I think that would be a good idea. After a while I think he'll get tired of brushing them (use toothpaste)
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daycare 07:00 PM 04-05-2011
Hey that's perfect. Gonna start that tomorrow
Thanks so much!!
Hope you had a great trip
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littlemissmuffet 07:19 PM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
hey, you know whats a good idea, when he swears go and make him brush his teeth. I think that would be a good idea. After a while I think he'll get tired of brushing them (use toothpaste)
Great idea! Love it. I am from the camp that got soap/tobasco sauce for using naughty words... and it's what I threaten my kids (MY OWN KIDS, lol!) with... but I like this idea better
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daycare 07:27 PM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
Great idea! Love it. I am from the camp that got soap/tobasco sauce for using naughty words... and it's what I threaten my kids (MY OWN KIDS, lol!) with... but I like this idea better
should it be the adult spicy toothpate or his toothpaste? I think he has the bubble gum flavor which I know he loves...
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littlemissmuffet 07:29 PM 04-05-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
should it be the adult spicy toothpate or his toothpaste? I think he has the bubble gum flavor which I know he loves...
Personally, I'd use adult toothpaste. He's 4.5... he's not going to swallow it!
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daycare 07:31 PM 04-05-2011
This is what I was thinking! I'll tell mom as well. Lol
Will there be peace at last?
Lol
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missnikki 12:32 AM 04-06-2011
What would she complain about? "She makes him brush his teeth!" BWAHAHA
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boysx5 02:46 AM 04-06-2011
I only tell the parent if we had a really bad day I have an almost four year old who is always into something not all bad things just a busy boy and I feel that sometimes by the end of the day if I were to tell the parents what he did at 9am he may not even remember what he did. I take care of it here and he knows what the rules are. Its never easy is it
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My Daycare 04:33 AM 04-06-2011
When my older ones were little they got a listerine strip. It worked great because they get stuck there until they dissolve. Nowadays, I won't do that for my youngest because I'm scared.
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My Daycare 04:34 AM 04-06-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
mom and I are doing a reward chat. he gets smiley faces every time he does something good. i am the praise queen, I really am. I will tell him everything good, even if he is just doing nothing, I will tell him, Wow you are sitting so nice and quiet that is really nice to see. WOuld you like to read a book with me?

Yes, I do give him time to reflect as well. he is 4.5, so he knows the difference between right and wrong. I will give me 3 chances with the same issue before he will have to get seperated from the rest of the group to play alone.... if its really bad, I will not allow him to play, but just sit there and think about what he did wrong and how we can make it better....

I am really looking forward to meeting with the lady that will come to conduct the behavior eval on him. I am also frustrated of having to tell, remind, and punish him for his behavior and am looking forward to learn how to help him improve......
Sounds like you're doing things right, but I would cut down the 3 chances.
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Unregistered 09:48 AM 04-06-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I have a dcb that has an issue on a daily basis. Potty mouth, won't listen and etc. I always take a min or two to inform mom/dad at pick up how their day went. I don't give every last detail, but when something happens that disrupts the other kids or more than a large majority of the child's day I will inform the parents.

So today at pick up I inform DCM that the boy had an ok day. However, there were some issues with potty mouth. I reminded the boy that he needed to use better words and that he was to tell him mom at pick up. Of course he did not tell his mom and I had to inform her.

So they leave and within 20min I get an email saying that she is thinking about changing DC because it seems like I complain about him all of the time. That every day it's something else and she feels like he has worn out his welcome here.

I have not responded to her, but in some ways I have seen this coming. Why? Becuase every day there is something else. I have posted about this boy here in the past and was able to get someone to come and elvaluate his behavior, but that has not happened yet. It will not take place until May.

So my question is, how you do inform parents when their kids are constantly breaking rules, or having a bad day without sounding like you are complaining about their kid.

BTW. I don't tell DCP every last detail, just important things i think they should know.
I have had sensitive parents as well. I do up daily sheets, whenever something bad happens, I always put it down, but I always make sure that I write down 2 good things for each bad thing that happened. That way, the good always outweighs the bad. (even if it is for something stupid -like "johnny cut along the lines really nicely today, or colored very quietly today", etc. Sometimes it something as simple as they participated very well during circle time.

But I know it takes a lot of love, patience and stress relieving exercises to deal with a child like that. I did it for about a year until the child injured one of my own children and I had to terminate. Best of luck to you!
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Tags:bad behavior, bad words, complain, potty mouth, won't listen
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