First Ever In Person Confrontation at Pickup

[deliberateliterate]

It's their first day and he was arguing with me over my vacation policy (no charge when I'm off, 50% for anything additional). He wouldn't let it go, and I stood my ground. The mom and son are absolutely adorable, but I'm not changing policy for them. I just started another new f/t family last week and wasn't looking for anyone else, but she called, we met and I loved her son and her days and hours were perfect. Now I know why she didn't bring back my contract herself when she came Mon/Tues/Today to ease him in. She wanted him to do the dirty work . He brought the contract, but with a big X through the policy. Um no.

I said everything that I knew you guys would say. How this is my only source of income, and that he was paying for the spot. I even said that if he didn't like it, to find other arrangements (very diplomatically of course). He didn't care, he said he didn't want to pay for something that he wasn't going to use. When he could see that I wasn't backing down, he suggested a compromise of only paying for 1 week (he wanted 2 weeks no charge), and I said no to that as well.

I ended up venting to the parent who came in immediately after he left. She could tell I was shaken.

[Shell]

Good for you! Um, dcd this isn't a negotiation- take it or leave it!

[Michael]

Haven't used this in a while but you earned it.

[holly333]

Oh my, how obnoxious! I'm sorry, but great job standing up for yourself and your business!

[Luna]

Good for you! It is not easy to stand your ground at a time like that, but you did it. Well done!

[Crazy8]

I think I would have been tempted to say "well I'm sorry you don't agree with my policies, your son was such a delight and I thought he would have fit in here nicely but here are his things, I hope you are able to find a daycare with a policy that fits your needs". Good Bye.

[daycarediva]

YAY!!!!!!!!!!

Did you go over this on the interview? Did he really think that he could just dictate which policies he would follow? Are you letting them go? I would!!

In the future, I would not accept anyone into care until they signed the paperwork prior to the start date.

[momtomany74]

Way to stand your ground! I might have blown a gasket on that guy! I bet they won't ask for leeway on any other policies you may have

[CraftyMom]

He crossed out your policy? That's nervy! "I agree to everything except this. I will do as I please when it comes to this"

This reminds me another thread a while ago where a parent crossed things out and actually wrote in their own policies!

[sharlan]

Originally Posted by Crazy8

I think I would have been tempted to say "well I'm sorry you don't agree with my policies, your son was such a delight and I thought he would have fit in here nicely but here are his things, I hope you are able to find a daycare with a policy that fits your needs". Good Bye.

This family would be finding new care ASAP. I would not tolerate that and I tolerate a lot.

[deliberateliterate]

Originally Posted by daycarediva

YAY!!!!!!!!!!

Did you go over this on the interview? Did he really think that he could just dictate which policies he would follow? Are you letting them go? I would!!

In the future, I would not accept anyone into care until they signed the paperwork prior to the start date.

We absolutely discussed this at the interview, and she didn't say anything. We also discussed everything at length while she was here visiting for an hour on both Monday and Tuesday.

I have no idea why I didn't ask about the contract, I just assumed that she would bring it at drop off this morning, and then forgot to ask about it. I sent her an email basically telling her that my policy stands, and it's up to her if she comes back or not (again, diplomatically).

[Kabob]

Originally Posted by sharlan

This family would be finding new care ASAP. I would not tolerate that and I tolerate a lot.

Yep. Totally not cool. Especially since it took away from supervision of the kids and exposed them to that confrontation.

Good for you for sticking up for yourself. I'd take it further and give them notice...their communication skills (or lack thereof) are severely lacking for my taste...

an X ??? !!!!!!
bye bye

and WOW a Back Bone Award
how cool is that ....!!

[TheGoodLife]

Originally Posted by Crazy8

I think I would have been tempted to say "well I'm sorry you don't agree with my policies, your son was such a delight and I thought he would have fit in here nicely but here are his things, I hope you are able to find a daycare with a policy that fits your needs". Good Bye.

You said you didn't need them anyway, if they are going to pull this their first days I would definitely give an immediate term (I have a 2 week adjustment period so no notice required) and not look back... they will not be good parents if they start out like that!

[lblanke]

Tell him if they pay the 1st week at full price, he can have the 2nd week off for free. Maybe he his math skills will be as poor as his interpersonal skills and not realize that1 week full price and 1 week free is the same as 2 weeks at 50 per cent. Or, just tell him, bye bye.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by lblanke

Tell him if they pay the 1st week at full price, he can have the 2nd week off for free. Maybe he his math skills will be as poor as his interpersonal skills and not realize that1 week full price and 1 week free is the same as 2 weeks at 50 per cent. Or, just tell him, bye bye.

lol thats super smart and super funny.......

[Play Care]

Originally Posted by CraftyMom

He crossed out your policy? That's nervy! "I agree to everything except this. I will do as I please when it comes to this"

This reminds me another thread a while ago where a parent crossed things out and actually wrote in their own policies!

I had that happen when I was starting out. I was so shocked that someone would do that I couldn't say anything The more I thought about it the more it ticked me off until I called her and told her I was sending back her deposit because I didn't think it would work. She was so angry but it worked out for the best.

[Patches]

I once had a parent cross out my rate and wrote in a different one! ummm, no.
Good for you for standing your ground

[Kimskiddos]

Good job sticking to your guns! I too have had a dcp cross out and rewrite my policies once. I took one look at it and told her this is not how it works. Gave her a new contract right there to sign. She did and they ended up being a great family that I had for 4 years.

I just think she was a new mom and new to child care and thought she got to call the shots. She learned.

[midaycare]

Originally Posted by Patches

I once had a parent cross out my rate and wrote in a different one! ummm, no.
Good for you for standing your ground

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[midaycare]

So did they come back?

[Kim's Sweet-Tots]

HAHAHAHAHAHAH yall are making me laugh with your comments. I totally agree and im with ya on calling the shots. Some of these parents are still a shock to me. Its hard for me to stand up and say things but dang, weve gotta look out for ourselves too!

[TheGoodLife]

Originally Posted by midaycare

So did they come back?

I think she said they were only M-W this week, so not scheduled today. Curious about any updates as well when they contact you next

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by deliberateliterate

It's their first day and he was arguing with me over my vacation policy (no charge when I'm off, 50% for anything additional). He wouldn't let it go, and I stood my ground. The mom and son are absolutely adorable, but I'm not changing policy for them. I just started another new f/t family last week and wasn't looking for anyone else, but she called, we met and I loved her son and her days and hours were perfect. Now I know why she didn't bring back my contract herself when she came Mon/Tues/Today to ease him in. She wanted him to do the dirty work . He brought the contract, but with a big X through the policy. Um no.

I said everything that I knew you guys would say. How this is my only source of income, and that he was paying for the spot. I even said that if he didn't like it, to find other arrangements (very diplomatically of course). He didn't care, he said he didn't want to pay for something that he wasn't going to use. When he could see that I wasn't backing down, he suggested a compromise of only paying for 1 week (he wanted 2 weeks no charge), and I said no to that as well.

I ended up venting to the parent who came in immediately after he left. She could tell I was shaken.

I always use the car payment analogy on this line of thinking.

We pay a car payment but still park the car in the garage/driveway all night (ie NOT using it) but still pay the full payment when due.

[deliberateliterate]

well...

They came back. She responded to my email last night saying that they were really happy with my care, and it was my daycare, and my rules, although she mentioned that she didn't know about it until I sent her my contract (I am absolutely sure that we went over it. I'll be printing out my contract and going over it with them point by point in the future).

She came today and we cleared the air some more, and she assured me that her husband was now ok, and that he was sorry for the bad first impression that he made.

Then he came to pick up, and started getting his kid ready, so I asked him "So are we ok with everything"? And he just said that he'll have to be because he has no other choice.

I encouraged him to check out other daycares to see if there is anything else that would suit their needs better because I didn't want him to be resentful at all if he felt like he was getting the wrong end of the stick. He just said that he liked the convenience of me (they live on the next street over).

So whatever. I'll just make sure his kid is ready to go so my contact with him would be limited.

[Josiegirl]

I admire your ability to communicate. I have a terrible habit of avoiding that which makes me uncomfortable.

I first opened a couple years ago and I had a lady sign up her and her friends kids, pretty awesome I thought.... So they signed all the papers and her friend asked about the policies and the first lady said don't worry she has to write that for licencing. So when subsidy was late and I have a one month in advance prepayment policy which I refund subsidy. They were late on payment and here is what she wanted. To charge subsidy full time but I would not have the kids full time and her friend could use the remaining money from subsidy for her kids!! I told her I would not and she yelled at me in my home in the next room from the other children. In the end I terminated to avoid future "miscommunications" and illegal claiming. She was so mad and ripped me off 200$ but I was happy to be rid of her!

[daycare]

rent analogy is another good one.

you pay your rent if you are home using it or not, you are paying for the house, not how often you use the house.

if you go on vacation for 3-weeks, landlord is not going to take partial payment, he could not rent it out that 3 weeks you were gone, so full payment is due.

[grandmom]

You didn't mention it so I will. They (both of them) MUST sign a contract that does not have the X on it. Do not let that slide.

[Michael]

Originally Posted by grandmom

You didn't mention it so I will. They (both of them) MUST sign a contract that does not have the X on it. Do not let that slide.

I'm do not believe two signatures are needed as long as they are married. I agree that they need a new contract with no additional tampering. It may make sense to have them initial each section as you describe it during your interview. They can then take it home and sign it later. Like renting a car. They have you initialize sections to make sure that you understand what was described.

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by Michael

I'm do not believe two signatures are needed as long as they are married. I agree that they need a new contract with no additional tampering. It may make sense to have them initial each section as you describe it during your interview. They can then take it home and sign it later. Like renting a car. They have you initialize sections to make sure that you understand what was described.

I do this, and it WORKS. I read the section to the parent, ask if they have questions, ask them to initial. No one can argue about not knowing after that.