When being lifted, dcb will pinch my arms and it hurts! He's doing it in a way that makes it seem like he's desperate to hold into something. When lifting him into the pack n play, booster seat at table, or car seat, he will grab and pinch. I've tried lifting him from behind and it's the same thing. How do I get the pinching to stop?

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Deal with it the same way that you would another undesirable behavior. At 2, this child can understand that he is intentionally hurting you. He can also understand the word no.

What do you think motivates the pinching? Does he not want to go into the pack n play, booster, or car seat? Does he enjoy the reaction he gets from you? Is he aggressive at any other times?

Have to tried discussing with the child what is expected BEFORE picking him up? Like: It's time to get in our seat now. NO pinching! If you pinch, XXX will happen (time out, or whatever you use). You could try to remove the opportunity to pinch, too. Honestly, I'd put mittens or socks on his hands before lifting him if everything else has failed, to remove the opportunity.

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Explain to him what you mean by pinching. He may not understand what you mean if his action is involuntary. Maybe ask him to grasp his hands together as you pick him up.

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At 2 I'd be limiting how many times he needs to be picked up. He can surely climb onto his chair for meals, etc. I'd move the changing pad to the floor for changing and have him lay himself down.
If I had to pick him up I'd do so in a way that he couldn't pinch.

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He is not doing it intentionally or because he doesn't want to be lifted. I think it is more of a transition thing. Almost as if he's thinking...oh my gosh, my feet are leaving the ground, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, this is not happening. He has a hard time with physically transitioning. For instance, he would not leave the driveway to go onto the grass because they are 2 different surfaces. Steps are the same thing, only way worse.

Making him hold his hands is a good idea. I've been trying to hold them and lift, but I think I will start to have him do it.

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I do not allow them to climb into their seats at the table. The changing pad is on the floor already so they can work on pulling pants up/down for changes. I am limiting the times I have to pick him up, to only when I HAVE to and that is when he is still pinching. How would you pick him up so he doesn't pinch?

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May I ask why they can't climb into their own seats? Are they higher than normal (ie: pub style chairs)? When I first started out I was lifting everyone into their seats until I realized that they were more than capable of safely doing so themselves. This job is so tough on a body so I try to minimize the lifting.

But anyway, I would let the child know I was about to pick him up and either scoop him gently from behind (going under his arms and holding his hands down in the process) or if that wasn't possible having him fold his hand together before I picked him up. If he unfolded them or seemed scared, I would put him back down and try again. I do wonder if he has any ear issues or medical conditions? In ten years I've never had a child have that kind of issue being picked up - I'm almost wondering if something is off with his inner ear making him feel really off balance when he's picked up?

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I agree with stopping the lifting. For the sale of my back and the child's independence, I almost never lift a child older than two. Changing mat on floor. They sleep on cots or mats by 2. They climb into their carseats and boosters independently, but I stand right there in case they might fall. No one ever has!

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I also want to mention (maybe it's just my current 2 yr olds) but at that age, I'd just tell them to knock it off.

I think 2 (even a new 2) is plenty old enough to know what "Stop it."means.

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The way the seat fits on my chair leaves very little room to climb up. It is safer for me to lift him so he doesn't slip and hit his face on the chair or booster; he's not a very agile little guy.

I did try to have him hold his own hands at lunch, but he wouldn't do that so I just held them and put him in his booster. This kid is just so different than any I have ever had in 9 years. Thanks for the suggestion.

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I agree, but I tried that already with no success.

I get very mixed messages from him. He turned 2 at the end of Sept and came to me then being able to identify his letters. But on the other hand, we did finger painting today that he completely struggled with. He fought me when I was trying to clean his hands so he wouldn't get paint every where, even though I was extremely firmly telling him to stop. There are other times when I tell him something and I just get a very very blank stare back. I often wonder if he has some comprehension problems, but then he'll do something that makes it seem like he's fine. I hope that makes sense. I can't tell if it's comprehension issues or just that he's stubbornly defiant and is able to cover it up with blank stares and just sitting there doing nothing, which I think would be hard for a 2 year old. As I mentioned above, this kid is so different from any other kid I have had. Has anyone else had a kiddo like this? How do you get through to them?

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I had one of my boys here do that when he was younger. I kept reiterating to him that it hurts me when he grabs me like that. But it never sunk in.
Eventually, I figured out that if I told him to "turn around" when I needed to pick him up, then I finagled a way to lift him (with his back towards me) into the highchair or into the pack n play (which was easy). Hard to pinch you when he's backwards!

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I had a dcb once that acted the exact same way. He cam to me at 15mos and had a huge vocabulary, knew colors, shapes, etc. but had no social skills or real life skills at all.
He would grab my arms like a death grip every time I had to pick him up to put him on the changing table. (That was before I realized the floor was much easier just with a pad)
Come to find out he was terribly afraid of heights. As he got older when he had to go up and down the stairs to the big kid area, he would still sit down and scoot down the stairs and he would crawl up the stairs bending over and putting his hands on them too.
He hated getting messy. touching paint, play doh, didn't eat things with different textures etc.
I began to think it may be a sensory thing, or some form of autism. Because he did the blank stare thing too, and could never look me in the eyes.
That was several years ago. I don't know if anything was ever diagnosed, but he was very intellectual, but very life/socially awkward.

Maybe try scooping him up closer to you, like with a toddler instead of so far from your body. It may be insecurity and fear of falling. Let him know you will be picking him up to go ..... and them stoop down and have him crawl into your arms. Being closer too you may help him feel more safe.
That is what worked for me.
HTH

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