Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Trying To Be Understanding....
cillybean83 06:58 AM 02-05-2011
....but starting to get annoyed!
The family I interviewed with on Tuesday is really dragging their feet and while I know it's a big decision, and she's a first time mom, etc...I'm jumping through a million hoops for her and it doesn't seem right. Please let me know if I'm working too hard to get her to take the spot, or if I need to chill out and just go with it!
First off, she emailed me about 2 weeks ago and we emailed daily back and forth, I answered a million questions, she set up a time to meet, she showed up, we talked for over an hour, I gave her the handbook/enrollment forms/etc, I answered more questions. She met my entire family, I met her entire family, she toured my ENTIRE house, (small house but usually i have my bedroom off limits), I met her husband, he hit it off with my husband, (It think THEY will have a "playdate" before I know if I"m watching the kid or not...they were talking like BFF's lol)...ok so interview is over, a couple days later I get a request for a background check, ok fine, I get it...she gets the all clear from that then she emails me and asks for an additional list of references.
Either all my past parents have not researched me nearly enough, or this is over kill...I'm not sure which it is. I used up all my daycare references on the first list, so I had to give her personal references/friends this time...I'm wondering how much longer this is going to drag on,
The family I interviewed with on Tuesday is really dragging their feet and while I know it's a big decision, and she's a first time mom, etc...I'm jumping through a million hoops for her and it doesn't seem right. Please let me know if I'm working too hard to get her to take the spot, or if I need to chill out and just go with it!
First off, she emailed me about 2 weeks ago and we emailed daily back and forth, I answered a million questions, she set up a time to meet, she showed up, we talked for over an hour, I gave her the handbook/enrollment forms/etc, I answered more questions. She met my entire family, I met her entire family, she toured my ENTIRE house, (small house but usually i have my bedroom off limits), I met her husband, he hit it off with my husband, (It think THEY will have a "playdate" before I know if I"m watching the kid or not...they were talking like BFF's lol)...ok so interview is over, a couple days later I get a request for a background check, ok fine, I get it...she gets the all clear from that then she emails me and asks for an additional list of references.
Either all my past parents have not researched me nearly enough, or this is over kill...I'm not sure which it is. I used up all my daycare references on the first list, so I had to give her personal references/friends this time...I'm wondering how much longer this is going to drag on,
nannyde 07:09 AM 02-05-2011
Chin up and give her what she wants.
They can research me all they want. I have current numbers of nearly all my clients in the last ten years and two unnanounced 100 percent inspections in the last three years.
I like Moms like this.
They can research me all they want. I have current numbers of nearly all my clients in the last ten years and two unnanounced 100 percent inspections in the last three years.
I like Moms like this.
cillybean83 07:27 AM 02-05-2011
it isn't the checking out part that bothers me, it's the dragging out part...and I think its semi intentional to get out of paying a deposit.
If I hold a spot for more than 2 weeks I require a $50 deposit, I would be holding the spot for longer than 2 weeks, but not if she keeps dragging out her decision making, kwim?
If I hold a spot for more than 2 weeks I require a $50 deposit, I would be holding the spot for longer than 2 weeks, but not if she keeps dragging out her decision making, kwim?
SandeeAR 08:09 AM 02-05-2011
Don't hold the spot, proceed to fill it! Problem solved.
nannyde 08:43 AM 02-05-2011
Originally Posted by cillybean83:
it isn't the checking out part that bothers me, it's the dragging out part...and I think its semi intentional to get out of paying a deposit.
If I hold a spot for more than 2 weeks I require a $50 deposit, I would be holding the spot for longer than 2 weeks, but not if she keeps dragging out her decision making, kwim?
Oh I see.it isn't the checking out part that bothers me, it's the dragging out part...and I think its semi intentional to get out of paying a deposit.
If I hold a spot for more than 2 weeks I require a $50 deposit, I would be holding the spot for longer than 2 weeks, but not if she keeps dragging out her decision making, kwim?
Once they have done all the interviewing and I've decided to take them they have to pay a fifty dollar enrollement fee plus the first two weeks pay.
cillybean83 09:05 AM 02-05-2011
I don't charge the $50 fee unless the spot will be held for 2 weeks + and I told her this, so I'm thinking that she wants to drag out the decision process then be within the 2 week holding, thus not owing the extra $50...I can't prove that, but it's just a feeling I get, because during the interview she was talking like she had already made up her mind, then I mentioned the $50 holding and the conversation shifted back to we'll think about it...i dunno...maybe i'm just a paranoid nut.
lvt77 09:17 AM 02-05-2011
I have had 3 parents do the same to me. let them dig all they can, you have nothing to hide, but they dont know you and need to find out for themself. Remember its not a dog they are asking you to watch, its their child. If they are this active in DKC life just trying to find the right person, then they may be very active in your DC as well. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. Keep advertising and interviewing. If someone else gets the spot, then oh well it was not meant to be.
cillybean83 09:35 AM 02-05-2011
so she emailed me back and said "i called or emailed your references and everyone i got through to said great things"
i replied "that's great, i think it's wonderful that you're taking the time to research your daycare candidates to be sure they're the right fit for your daughter, please let me know what you've decided and we'll proceed with registration if the spot is still available"
I get a reply 2 minutes later
"what do you mean if the spot is still available? I thought it was being reserved for me until I made my choice?"
I replied: "I'm sorry there must have been a miscommunication, I mentioned to you that I require a $50 holding fee if I reserve a spot for 2 weeks or more"
Immediately I get this response
"Oh, I thought that the fee was required if 2 weeks or more had elapsed between when I made my choice and when daycare had begun, I didn't realize that the time it took me to make a decision counted"
(so it was EXACTLY what i had suspected!)
my reply:
"i'm sorry if I didn't make it clear earlier...i can't reserve a spot without a deposit"
She replied
"well, i'll let you know"
i replied "that's great, i think it's wonderful that you're taking the time to research your daycare candidates to be sure they're the right fit for your daughter, please let me know what you've decided and we'll proceed with registration if the spot is still available"
I get a reply 2 minutes later
"what do you mean if the spot is still available? I thought it was being reserved for me until I made my choice?"
I replied: "I'm sorry there must have been a miscommunication, I mentioned to you that I require a $50 holding fee if I reserve a spot for 2 weeks or more"
Immediately I get this response
"Oh, I thought that the fee was required if 2 weeks or more had elapsed between when I made my choice and when daycare had begun, I didn't realize that the time it took me to make a decision counted"
(so it was EXACTLY what i had suspected!)
my reply:
"i'm sorry if I didn't make it clear earlier...i can't reserve a spot without a deposit
"She replied
"well, i'll let you know"
lvt77 10:11 AM 02-05-2011
ugghhhh and the wait continues.....lol Im sorry
nannyde 10:27 AM 02-05-2011
Nice try 
I don't have this because they must pay at the end of the third interview or I am done with them. That's the only time I receive money.
I don't have this because they must pay at the end of the third interview or I am done with them. That's the only time I receive money.
momatheart 04:47 PM 02-05-2011
Maybe you could email her and tell her you have another family wanting to interview regarding the spot but don't want to go ahead and interview this next family (since there was a misunderstanding on holding the spot)if she wants the spot. This may rush things. Then again it could backfire on you too. Since this woman has gone through all this work on checking you out you may just get this family Asap.
)if she wants the spot. This may rush things. Then again it could backfire on you too. Since this woman has gone through all this work on checking you out you may just get this family Asap.
cillybean83 05:01 PM 02-05-2011
i had 2 emails from my website, so if they want to interview I'm going to have to let her know that she needs to make a decision before I waste the other families time (although i will say it much, much nicer than that lol)
AnythingsPossible 07:06 AM 02-06-2011
Originally Posted by cillybean83:
i had 2 emails from my website, so if they want to interview I'm going to have to let her know that she needs to make a decision before I waste the other families time (although i will say it much, much nicer than that lol)
I wouldn't worry about her. If she hasn't given you any kind of commitment or deposit, I would go ahead and interview the other families and if she does get in touch after you fill the spot, tell her sorry. At this point you don't owe her any call on the other interviews, and if you wait till you hear from her to do the other interviews, they may find other care in the meantime. i had 2 emails from my website, so if they want to interview I'm going to have to let her know that she needs to make a decision before I waste the other families time (although i will say it much, much nicer than that lol)
If she is dragging her feet this much, she has issues somewhere. Rather it is issues with your program, or issues with leaving her child, something is going on with her somewhere.
If you contact her to much, she may get the feeling you are desperate to fill the spot and wonder why.
marniewon 07:17 AM 02-06-2011
Originally Posted by AnythingsPossible:
I wouldn't worry about her. If she hasn't given you any kind of commitment or deposit, I would go ahead and interview the other families and if she does get in touch after you fill the spot, tell her sorry. At this point you don't owe her any call on the other interviews, and if you wait till you hear from her to do the other interviews, they may find other care in the meantime.
If she is dragging her feet this much, she has issues somewhere. Rather it is issues with your program, or issues with leaving her child, something is going on with her somewhere.
If you contact her to much, she may get the feeling you are desperate to fill the spot and wonder why.
I totally and completely agree with this! I would just assume that she's not going to go with you and continue to interview as such. IF she decides to bring her child to you, and no one else has put a deposit, then great, you have another dck. If not, you have the chance with the other two families.I wouldn't worry about her. If she hasn't given you any kind of commitment or deposit, I would go ahead and interview the other families and if she does get in touch after you fill the spot, tell her sorry. At this point you don't owe her any call on the other interviews, and if you wait till you hear from her to do the other interviews, they may find other care in the meantime.
If she is dragging her feet this much, she has issues somewhere. Rather it is issues with your program, or issues with leaving her child, something is going on with her somewhere.
If you contact her to much, she may get the feeling you are desperate to fill the spot and wonder why.
littlemonkeys 07:27 AM 02-06-2011
Originally Posted by momatheart:
Maybe you could email her and tell her you have another family wanting to interview regarding the spot but don't want to go ahead and interview this next family (since there was a misunderstanding on holding the spot)if she wants the spot. This may rush things. Then again it could backfire on you too. Since this woman has gone through all this work on checking you out you may just get this family Asap.
I agree with this. I'd probably just tell her you have another intersted family and go from there. It will probably help get the ball rolling if she is still inerested. I don't see what the problem is with putting a minimal deposit down? Is it added to their first weeks tuition? Or is the $50 more of a registration fee? I don't charge a registration fee, but hold a 2 week non-refundable deposit that is applied to the childs first two weeks. Maybe you could email her and tell her you have another family wanting to interview regarding the spot but don't want to go ahead and interview this next family (since there was a misunderstanding on holding the spot
)if she wants the spot. This may rush things. Then again it could backfire on you too. Since this woman has gone through all this work on checking you out you may just get this family Asap.Good luck.... Hope you here from her soon!
nannyde 08:39 AM 02-06-2011
Originally Posted by cillybean83:
i had 2 emails from my website, so if they want to interview I'm going to have to let her know that she needs to make a decision before I waste the other families time (although i will say it much, much nicer than that lol)
I wouldn't do that. She isn't going to care in any way that you waste their time. i had 2 emails from my website, so if they want to interview I'm going to have to let her know that she needs to make a decision before I waste the other families time (although i will say it much, much nicer than that lol)
There is obviously a conflict somewhere and it may not have a single thing to do with you but more them doing what's best for them. They may be trying to work into some free or near free arrangement.
I wouldn't give them another thought. Keep interviewing.
Abigail 10:54 AM 02-06-2011
The dragging on would drive me nuts. That is why I hope to get interviews back to back and just take one without giving the others a thought. LOL
I would still do interviews until you wait for her. It's kind of iffy if they'll be good with paying weekly rates if they don't want to pay a holding deposit. She knows the rule now so if she doesn't stop by to pay a holding deposit then she may not choose you anyways. On the other hand, she may be researching because she wants the best possible for her child and will pay on on time. Frustrating.
I would still do interviews until you wait for her. It's kind of iffy if they'll be good with paying weekly rates if they don't want to pay a holding deposit. She knows the rule now so if she doesn't stop by to pay a holding deposit then she may not choose you anyways. On the other hand, she may be researching because she wants the best possible for her child and will pay on on time. Frustrating.
Lilbutterflie 01:20 PM 02-06-2011
It's great that she's so thorough, but I agree that she must have an issue somewhere with something if she still hasn't decided. It probably has nothing to do with you, but I would definitely move on. Get out there and get more interviews. If someone else gives you their $ and contract, go for it.
QualiTcare 04:33 PM 02-06-2011
i'm not sure if she'd be dragging things out over a $50 deposit because i'm sure she paid right around 50 dollars to do a background check.
cillybean83 09:06 PM 02-06-2011
background checks are free through care.com which is where she found me.
QualiTcare 09:18 PM 02-06-2011
are they free or did you pay to have one that everyone can see?
cillybean83 10:04 PM 02-06-2011
nope, they're free
QualiTcare 03:34 AM 02-07-2011
really? i was wondering bc i signed up for care.com ages ago and i think/thought i had to upgrade or pay to have a background check on my profile. i mean, i've had like a DOZEN (literally) background checks ran within the past few years, but i didn't have one posted on there bc that was the impression i got. so, do the people who find you on there just ask your SS# or something and do a check on you?
missnikki 06:34 AM 02-07-2011
You might find that one of the other families are a better fit than hers. Keep interviewing, and call the one you want to take, whether it is her family or another. She didn't hold the spot, she misunderstood, it might cost her your care.
dEHmom 06:51 AM 02-07-2011
If you really like this family, then let them know...
I have an interview scheduled for ____day. I will need to know by and receive the deposit by the day before this interview (or 3 hours prior to the interview). If I do not receive a response by this time, then I will assume you are not interested in the spot. If you are still researching and looking at other options, please contact me after (date) and if the spot is still available, we can arrange for another meeting (something like that). Thank you blah blah blah.
Something along those lines. I am planning to do the same later today with the family I interviewed last week. I think if she feels like she will have to do the interview again in a month from now, or something like that, or know that she is risking losing the spot, if she truly wants it she may take it. You cannot sit on it forever, and it is not fair to waste yours and other families times doing interviews if they are going to show up and put a deposit down. And it should be at least a day before the next interview. I don't think it's fair to cancel an interview the day of for another family
I have an interview scheduled for ____day. I will need to know by and receive the deposit by the day before this interview (or 3 hours prior to the interview). If I do not receive a response by this time, then I will assume you are not interested in the spot. If you are still researching and looking at other options, please contact me after (date) and if the spot is still available, we can arrange for another meeting (something like that). Thank you blah blah blah.
Something along those lines. I am planning to do the same later today with the family I interviewed last week. I think if she feels like she will have to do the interview again in a month from now, or something like that, or know that she is risking losing the spot, if she truly wants it she may take it. You cannot sit on it forever, and it is not fair to waste yours and other families times doing interviews if they are going to show up and put a deposit down. And it should be at least a day before the next interview. I don't think it's fair to cancel an interview the day of for another family