I've had this family since June. They're leaving next month, b/c they're having their 2nd kid & mom's taking 9 months off. I'm so glad to see them go. They started off great, I thought. They were involved and really had ideas about every aspect of their daughter's care. They were open to suggestions & ideas. It was great to find a caring family after the one I had just termed who let her son do whatever with no repercussions.

So, I now see that this family is the natural parenting version of a helicopter parent. I'm all for crunchy lifestyles. I have one myself. We still cosleep and breastfeed at 3, use cloth diapers, etc... But these people are micromanaging everything. I should have nipped stuff in the bud immediately, but thought, oh it's just a couple minutes late.. etc.
They were late one time by 45 mins for pick-up. No call/no text. I let it slide b/c it had never happened before. They are 99% the time on time for pick up. Drop off tends to vary however. They're scheduled 9-6. They run between 8:30-10. During the winter, I don't care. Summer? We're outside, so I don't want to wait on you. This AM, she texts me at 749 with "We're on our way." They live about 25 mins away. They get here at 815. I say, "You're early!" She says hi to me. I then ask her if she'll need to be early the rest of March. She looks confused. Asks what time it is. I tell her 815- 45 mins before your contracted time. She looks confused again, says, I thought we had 830?

No..that was your old contract(was 830-530, got switched first month in..has not returned the actual new contract I gave out in Jan. Haven't pushed it since they're leaving soon.) Dad asked me last week if he could drop dcg off early. I say sure, what time? 7!!!! I get up early and he doesn't get here til after 730. No thanks or anything..I'm not charging them extra for this service....feel like an idiot for not.

Anyways-let's go to the potty training issue:
dcg is 23 months old, aware of her potty cues. DCM asks me about potty training. I tell her my policy is spelled out clearly in my handbook, but explain the basics..the usual- must be accident free 2 weeks,pull own clothes up & down, etc. She asks if I'll let her go basically naked or wearing a long shirt. I'm fine w/ that. I'm not licensed, have hard wood floors, and the only other mobile kid is my son. She goes potty every time w/o me asking. That's fine, but she doesn't wipe..I know..the age, and can't pull her clothes up and down, or underwear even. Aggravating.

Illness & payment issues: Lately, they've been using illness as a reason not to pay, even though it's right there in the handbook. My son had a fever 2 weeks ago. I contacted parents & told them what was going on. Had a fever, but active..still going to open. One parent came. They elected not to. Then deducted the pay from me. I let it slide. (I know.) So this week, they ask if she can come M-W, instead of her normal W-F. I sent her home Friday b/c she was lethargic, sleeping, not eating, etc. Mom says she's not sleeping well b/c mom is snoring lately. She ends up staying home M &T. Mom says she has bad diarrhea.

She's here today. A little lethargic, but holy hell. the poop. Mom says it's getting more solid & sends her usual raw milk with her, along w/ her lunch. (They've always provided her lunch. Mine wasn't organic enough, I guess.) Doc said she had a stomach bug. The poop is gross, foul smelling, and now she's had several diarrhea episodes. I should call to get her picked up, but I'm just dealing. (What is wrong with me?)I ask mom if she's been in dipes or undies.. She says, whatever she's most comfortable in!!??Then tells me she 'only' had 2 accidents while she was sick in her underwear. (um, sorry..I don't want to clean poop off my couch!)

Other issues:She jumps and climbs on all the furniture..parents say nothing. She wiped her nose on my chair last week! She's become completely whiny if you look at her funny. She used to be a great sleeper, but not so much anymore. Mom wants me to rock her. Not going to happen. I have my own son & a 6 month old who definitely needs held to sleep more than she does.

They don't want her to ever hear no. Sorry, I tell her no here.

Something that really ticked me off-last week on Monday, I woke up bleeding. I'm pregnant. Went to the er-awesome mom of awesome baby was concerned and left work right away to pick up..even kept him home the next day so I could rest! Anyway, I was not miscarrying, thankfully, but I was ordered to rest for the week. I stopped bleeding the following day.

Weds, they drop off. They are aware of the situation. I have the tv going. My husband used a sick day to stay with me and help. He asks if he should turn it off. I say, no, it's fine. It's going to be a very low-key day. Right in front of dcd. So the next day, dcm says, "dcd says the tv was on when he dropped off. I know it was a bit of a different day, but if you need to turn the tv on, just let us know, and we'll keep dcg home." I was stunned. During interview I explained I use tv very rarely. If someone was sick, it would be on, etc.... I thpught it was ridiculous to demand me not to use the tv when I'm on dr ordered rest. She also bled thru her first pregnancy so you'd think she'd be understanding.

Just so over them. Sorry for the novel.

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Well it's going to be a long month at this rate... I would probably term and let them go! That's too much! I put up with a lot with one family and when they left I was like WOW!! I was so happy. It made my life so much easier.

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I agree- I'd either talk to them and explain that you know it's their last month or two but you EXPECT them to follow your policies or you will need to terminate the contract. Just because they're leaving doesn't mean you should just shrug and put up with everything (which may be difficult since you haven't done so so far, but it is do-able)

As for the sickness thing, I'm not sure what your sickness policy is but I would take a good look at it and either tweak it to be more detailed or enforce it to a T! They are leaving, you don't owe them any favors (not that you do ANY family)!

Sorry you are experiencing that- sounds aweful, and especially so when pregnant

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Ugh.... Sometimes the things we wld normally tolerate that last month just aren't worth it when your pregnant. Maybe it's just time to say goodby, or " just letting you know, dcm, I will have the tv on for the next thirty days.. Guess we'll say goodby now! srry you have to deal w this one!

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Then a whole bunch of

and a couple

and finally a few

I totally understand simply dealing just because they are leaving soon but honestly, it sounds like they are going to be STRESSFUL to the max before they do go if you don't speak up and try to rein in some of this bad behavior.

(((hugs))) for dealing with all that.

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After they leave, I'm changing my handbook again. I just fixed it in Jan. No freebie days, aside from 2 weeks vacation. I was letting parents have 5 days a yr free in case they need it for illness. No more-too confusing. The reason I don't want to just term is b/c I've put up w/ itfor so long (though the lst month has been the most of the crap) that it'd be awkward to cite that for an immediate term. I don't have the cash to refund their deposit.

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Honestly, I would give them an invoice for every late occurance, every time they deducted pay from you when they shouldn't have. I would also stand strong when they argue with it. "My contract is clear and you signed it. These fees are due immediately. If I do not receive by the end of the week, I will file with small claims by Monday." When they get ticked and tell you she's never coming back, hand them the second invoice you have ready - the one that has your fees for the term period (not sure what yours is?). Tell them the same policy applies to this invoice - end of the week or small claims.

It sounds like they are too disrespectful to stay in your care if you show a backbone. I would not only show the backbone, I would hit them over the head with it so to speak - even if you are in small claims a month from now with them, YOU will feel better... and get paid.

ETA: Just read the note about refunding a deposit - you can also credit that on the invoice - I bet their late fees you didn't hold them to and their days of not paying you when your son was feverish but you were open will help with that?

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Oh, I wouldn't term them but I would let them know that although you have allowed some behaviors it is now not something you are able to accommodate.

Blame it on the pregnancy or whatever, but you can still rein in some of the craziness before they do leave without having to term. kwim?

Pick the most important ones....the schedule, the non-payment for absent days or the TV...but address some of it to lessen your work/stress load.

Even "making do" can't be a healthy thing for you or your little bun in the oven.

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I would give them a letter, listing the policies they agreed to, their contracted drop off and pick up times, sick policy, late fees, etc.

I think the LAST thing you need right now is added stress, and this would stress me out to the MAX!

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I agree that you are going to have to get tough with this family, or it's just going to get worse. Is it worth it, though? If you want/need to keep them around I would also do what was suggested above, and print out everything in the contract, or give them a new one since I thought you mentioned they didn't give you back the new one with new times? If you don't need/want to deal, I would term sooner than later. Glad everything is ok with your pregnancy. That was very insensitive of dcm and dcd to make a comment about the t.v.

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