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  #1  
Old 04-10-2018, 10:57 AM
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I have a 1 year old who is fussy/high maintenance and makes me feel anxious all of the time so I've decided to term for the first time. In nervous about it and don't know what to say to cut the ties. I seriously don't know if my sanity can handle the 2 week ending period. I've let it go too long in hopes it would get better when she got older. Has anyone else had this happen... Let it go to long with a child you seriously can't "click" with? How to term? I live in a town where you really don't want to burn bridges and this family is "popular" for lack of a better word. I hope doing this doesn't hurt my future business opportunities but I will certainly burn out if I keep this one.
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Old 04-10-2018, 11:28 AM
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Are the parents aware you have been having issues with the child or is this something that is going to blindside them? I have only one term experience to draw from and I think it is best to just be honest with the family. I would steer away from making excuses or worrying about giving reason and just tell the parents that things are not working out and that it is best to part ways now. Say that the child doesnít seem to be thriving but donít mention feeling burnt out or not being able to handle it. Suggest a nanny or a center if you think either of those would help the child thrive. Some kids just arenít built for home daycare.
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Old 04-10-2018, 12:13 PM
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I agree with storybook, make sure the parents aren't blindsided. If you haven't already, open up a dialogue about what is going on at your house, if it's similar at home. Ask if they can work with you to resolve it, agree on a plan. Give it two weeks/four weeks. Tell them you were hoping to see improvement as she got older, but you aren't.
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Old 04-10-2018, 06:52 PM
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Okay, I get the "improvement plan" approach but I'm honestly just too over the stress I feel when she's here.I don't want to feel like that in my own home. There have been some challenges leading up to now that have really added to it all and with an actual infant now in my care, I don't have the time to cater to her fits anymore. She pushes her parents around already. DCM admits to this. I don't tolerate it and try to ignore the fits but I just start feeling stressed and anxious. The rest of my kids get irritated and cover their ears and I try to reassure them with "she's just grumpy" or whatever. They start getting feisty and bickering. It just goes on until nap time... Then she's fine until an hour before pickup. Her parents are usually the last to show (15 min after closing time... I do a "grace period" that they take full advantage of) and she wants to be the center of attention 24/7. Help with term wording is what I need! "Sorry, I can't care for ** anymore because she is high maintenance and the other kids need me too"?
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Old 04-10-2018, 07:20 PM
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I would stay away from saying that sheís too high maintenance and the other kids need you too as that can seem to parents like you cannot handle the situation. They may blame you since youíve recently taken on a younger infant and claim that youíve taken on too much. I would just end it and be done. I am bad on exact wording without knowing more of the whole situation i.e. previous communication with the parents about the issues, if they are the cause if youíve offered suggestions to make her days at daycare better.. that kind of stuff.
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Old 04-11-2018, 04:31 AM
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Dear parent,

As of xx/xx/xXxX, I will no longer be offering child care services to dcg.

Sincerely,
A relived child care provider


If they ask why, I would let them know the excessive crying is too disruptive to your group and you need do what's best for the GROUP of children in your care, not just one child.
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Old 04-11-2018, 04:38 AM
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I did this once when I was new, it stinks. I termed at the end of the week as I knew I could do a 2 week notice, it was uncomfortable. They never came back. Im sure they hate me.

But I regained my sanity, and started loving my job again! I also learned a lot: to always be honest when children have rough days; implement an excessive cying/pick up policy RIGHT NOW; I am not an infant care provider (That took a few more infant experiences to make me realize).

Excessive crying is ROUGH and no shame in saying it's not something you want to deal with. Good luck!!!!
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Old 04-11-2018, 06:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Okay, I get the "improvement plan" approach but I'm honestly just too over the stress I feel when she's here.I don't want to feel like that in my own home. There have been some challenges leading up to now that have really added to it all and with an actual infant now in my care, I don't have the time to cater to her fits anymore. She pushes her parents around already. DCM admits to this. I don't tolerate it and try to ignore the fits but I just start feeling stressed and anxious. The rest of my kids get irritated and cover their ears and I try to reassure them with "she's just grumpy" or whatever. They start getting feisty and bickering. It just goes on until nap time... Then she's fine until an hour before pickup. Her parents are usually the last to show (15 min after closing time... I do a "grace period" that they take full advantage of) and she wants to be the center of attention 24/7. Help with term wording is what I need! "Sorry, I can't care for ** anymore because she is high maintenance and the other kids need me too"?
I like Boy Mom's letter, short and to the point.
If the parents are aware of the excessive crying I would just say that you don't feel your care is the best fit for her. I wouldn't mention the other children at all. Make it about their child, period. I'll admit that sometimes I lay it on thick just to ease the situation even if the parents behave badly (*especially* if they behave badly) Then I can hold my head high. Good luck!!
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Old 04-11-2018, 07:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boy_mom View Post
Dear parent,

As of xx/xx/xXxX, I will no longer be offering child care services to dcg.

Sincerely,
A relived child care provider


If they ask why, I would let them know the excessive crying is too disruptive to your group and you need do what's best for the GROUP of children in your care, not just one child.
I agree with this.

Write a letter like the above and simply continue to repeat that you aren't able to meet her needs while caring for other kids.

She may just be one of those kids that isn't cut out for group care....especially since she seems to thrive on being the center of attention and her parents support that.

I would hand the letter to the parent and just say something along the lines of "I'm sorry it has come to this but I have simply ran out of ideas and tricks and her behavior is now affecting the other kids negatively so I really have no other options."

If you continue to revert back to doing what's best for her AND the other kids, you shouldn't have to worry about what anyone in the community thinks...kwim?

As for offering two weeks... I would and wouldn't...
...I'd just tell them you're willing to let them move onto other care if they find alternate arrangements before the 2 weeks is up BUT I would tell them that during the last two weeks you will be calling for immediate pick up any time she cries continually for more than x # of minutes/or until you've had enough for the day.


Side note: never offer a grace period...as you know; parents will simply see that as "Free time" and take FULL advantage.

Parents are adults. They know how to tell time. Their jobs don't say clock in at 9:00 or 9:15..whatever works... ya know? Just close at x time and anyone that comes later than that time is late. period.

When parent's sneak in a free minute here and there, it creates resentment and most the time the provider isn't even aware that it's an issue until it's bugging them bad and then we look like we're making a big deal out of a few minutes... don't do that to yourself.
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Old 04-11-2018, 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
I agree with storybook, make sure the parents aren't blindsided. If you haven't already, open up a dialogue about what is going on at your house, if it's similar at home. Ask if they can work with you to resolve it, agree on a plan. Give it two weeks/four weeks. Tell them you were hoping to see improvement as she got older, but you aren't.
This! OR the above term letter.
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  #11  
Old 04-13-2018, 09:50 PM
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Oh man. I termed today and it was horrible. I'm sure they hate me. I was honest because dck was fussy all day again and I was feeling really down and not having a great time with it. Anyway, I didn't handle the conversation well at all and now I feel like poo. I gave the 2 weeks with black cat's suggestion of calling if fussy. They won't be back. Thank you all for your support and advice.
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Old 04-13-2018, 10:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Oh man. I termed today and it was horrible. I'm sure they hate me. I was honest because dck was fussy all day again and I was feeling really down and not having a great time with it. Anyway, I didn't handle the conversation well at all and now I feel like poo. I gave the 2 weeks with black cat's suggestion of calling if fussy. They won't be back. Thank you all for your support and advice.
Give yourself some credit. I am sure it wasnít as bad as you think. Human emotion is natural and while it is a bummer that it didnít work out it is better for your sanity and your program as a whole. Being honest with the parents, while they may feel hurt now, will actually help them and their child when searching for their next form of child care too even if they will never be able to express this to you. Now you have the learning experience to build on when/if you ever have to term again.
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Old 04-14-2018, 08:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Oh man. I termed today and it was horrible. I'm sure they hate me. I was honest because dck was fussy all day again and I was feeling really down and not having a great time with it. Anyway, I didn't handle the conversation well at all and now I feel like poo. I gave the 2 weeks with black cat's suggestion of calling if fussy. They won't be back. Thank you all for your support and advice.
you did what needed to be done!

The baby nor you or the other DCKs have to endure all day crying and stress.... you feel bad because itís human nature to feel bad when things donít work out well but remember sometimes those tough experiences are just the beginning of better things to come for all!

You put babyís best interests first; donít feel bad about that...
This will be a learning experience for the parents as well.

You will enjoy the calm environment come Monday.

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Old 04-14-2018, 11:11 AM
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Don't be so hard on yourself; you've been stressed out with this little one. You have put up with it far longer than I could have. Let the raw edge of terming settle in and I'm sure you'll be grateful you made the decision that you did. Your other dcks will be happy too because I'm pretty sure constant crying and neediness affected you more than you've realized, and your whole group too.
Now get over the guilt!! Give yourself a hug for finally doing what needed to be done for the sake of your sanity and well-being. They will find someone else and so will you!
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Old 04-14-2018, 11:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Oh man. I termed today and it was horrible. I'm sure they hate me. I was honest because dck was fussy all day again and I was feeling really down and not having a great time with it. Anyway, I didn't handle the conversation well at all and now I feel like poo. I gave the 2 weeks with black cat's suggestion of calling if fussy. They won't be back. Thank you all for your support and advice.


No matter how "bad" the term went, you are done.
And come Monday when you will realize the full extent of just how bad/stressful it was, you will feel WONDERFUL to have it over and done with. The children will be relieved as well. You will wonder how you put up with it for as long as you did. Ask me how I know
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Old 04-14-2018, 12:31 PM
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Like others said, try not to beat yourself up!

Monday is going to feel like a whole new world without the stress, it will definitely reassure you that you did the right thing!
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Old 04-14-2018, 12:46 PM
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You are FREE
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  #18  
Old 04-14-2018, 06:06 PM
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You guys are the BEST! Thanks so much for lifting my spirits!
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Old 04-15-2018, 03:11 AM
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Good job! You know your limits and did what was best for everyone.
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