like if you have a website, blog or fb page would it be wrong to post something like "thank you for the holiday gifts" even if a family or two didn't give you a gift but all the others did?? Or if one family gave you something for no reason and you posted "ate the yummy cookies from the Smith's today".

I am just curious what others think, I see a provider who does this on her page and I just think it can hurt others feelings or make others feel like they should do something too.

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I would do it without giving names. Example eat yummy cookies from one of my daycare families.

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Personally, I was raised to view thank you's as something personal and private between the gift giver and gift receiver.

My mother taught me (as well as my siblings) to hand write thank you notes with a personal touch to people who gave us gifts. I did the same with my children. Hand written notes or a verbal conversation expressing your gratitude and thanks.

However with that being said, it seems that plastering your entire life, even private things on-line is the societal norm now days.

Posting a personal thank you on line for everyone to see is probably what is considered proper now. I doubt anyone (other than those who were raised differently) would be offended or even think much about it.

I would be upset if that were the type of thank you I received from some one I did something personal for or gave a thoughtful gift to but that is just me.

Now it seems as if peope expect everything to be public.

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I thank my families publicly.

If a family brings in snack one day, I post it on Facebook, usually with a photo with the kids enjoying it. I have some parents who go beyond the norm and bring in special treats, toys their children no longer use, craft supplies, gifts, containers of juice, ect.

I let them know that I/We appeciate it and my parents are Facebook junkies so everyone enjoys it. I've never seen it as being rude to other parents, but I can see where parents would feel inclined to do the same. I just had a parent bring in costumes from last year for our dress up area. You better believe I posted a photo of the kids on FB wearing them and having fun. I hope parents to do the same after Halloween this year

It's really not about other parents feelings when I post "thank you's". I do it to thank the parent/family who deserves a big thank you

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What about when a dc family brings in something for all the kids? I've "publicly" thanked families on my private blog for fruit trays or toys that a family brought in for everyone because I didn't want to take any credit for their kindness. Now I'm worried that came across as somewhat showy or rude . What do you all think?

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I don't think that is rude or showy to express thanks in a blog post for something that was for all the kids. I was thinking more along the lines of personal gifts for the provider. I'm not even saying that it is rude, I'm just not sure how I feel about it. like BC said, I guess this is the new norm, but I guess I would just feel like by putting it out there I am making the others who didn't do the same feel bad.

For xmas I got a very generous Coach gift card and when I went out and bought a new bag I would have loved to put it up there and said that's what they got me but I just felt like it would be calling it out to the one who gave me a $5 christmas ornament or the one who didn't give me anything at all.

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I am talking about more personal gifts just for you -- not things they brought in for the kids or for the daycare in general. Does your view on thanking them for those types of things vs. treats, toys, costumes, etc. differ or do you feel the same??

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Ah gotcha . No, I never mention anything publicly when a family gives me or my family a gift just for us. I have super generous parents and would think that publicly thanking for each thing would almost be like trying to invoke competitiveness among the parents.

While my parents may not always fork over lots of money for physical gifts for me and my family, noticing what I do for these children and thanking me is a gift in of itself. On top of that, my parents frequently bring me goodies, cards (from their child), arts and crafts projects from their child, flowers, and occasional gift cards and bonuses throughout the year. I honestly feel like I have the best set of children and parents right now at this moment and I know that like everything, it's only a matter of time until reality sets in and someone will be on their way . These families have really set the bar super high for any future family.

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I would NEVER do that. feel like it is saying to the parents who do not (and may not be able to afford to) give personal gifts that they SHOULD be giving the provider gifts. Sounds like a sneaky way to guilt trip someone into buying the provider a gift.

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I wouldn't do it unless it was something somebody provided for the Kadiddles. And then it would be a photo captioned something like "Children enjoying a special treat from one of our Parents".

For those that don't provide it's sort of like rubbing their noses in it like it's expected. A gift is just that - not anything expected, just like a bonus. The receiver should thank the giver but in private or with a personal note. JMHO

The only thing that I specify on our Center's website is testimonies about the excellent care/facility/etc. by a parent and then it's only if the parent authorizes us to do so.

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Gifts for me? Hmm, it would greatly depend on what the gift actually was. I will lean towards "probably not" on my feelings changing, though. Why not publicly thank a parent? They deserve some dang appreciation - and a lot if it! - if they bought me a personal gift. If I didn't want to list what it actually was, then I'd probably say something along the lines of "Thank you for the thoughtful gift today, ParentName!"

I could honestly care less about other parents feelings I'm not out to make sure each and every one of my comments are okay with everyone, it's about showing appreciation for a gift. I doubt my parents will take offense or feel "guilted" into buying me a gift because I thanked another person. I thank everyone for anything they give. It's all equal here

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Most definitley they need to be thanked and shown that the thought is greatly appreciated. I just personally would do it in a non-publiuc way.

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Well, I guess I kind of did that this week. This is what I posted-

chicken and rice "soup", apples, cheese and mashed sweet potatoes (homegrown from one of my kidlets, thanks C they were yummy!!!)

So, technically I thanked a kidlet online. This is a rural area though and I do get some produce and want to encourage that! My parents that don't have gardens also appreciate it when "gpa J" drops off stuff because they sometimes get some too! Christmas gifts, bday cards, personnal gifts I don't.

I guess it depends on the parents and what it is. One mom brought me some craft items. I didn't post thank you online for them. But when we use those cute little tissue squares, I may. It would be a (thanks to B's mom for finding those awesome tissue squares for me! We loved them!) or something like that.

If a parent brought me something big like costumes, I would have the kids make a thank you and I would probably post a pic and say how much the kidos appreciated it.

Do I think that this makes other parents feel bad? no. I have awesome parents. They like to see their kids "mentioned" I post as A, B, C, D etc

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I would for a gift for all the kids. I do it in my newsletter though, not online. The parent also gets a handwritten TY note from all of us.

Gifts for me get a handwritten thank you note and no public mention.

I say this as someone who posted about "getting a haircut and going shopping" though

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Exactly how I felt when I read the question. To me it would feel like you are looking for the DCP who didn't get you anything to do so as well.

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The FCCP I worked for would write personal thank you notes to people who gave christmas gifts or helped with graduation. She would either give it to the them personally in a sealed envelope with their name on it or mail it to them if she knew she wouldn't see them for a while. It makes it more personal and they can look at it when ever they need a pick me up. They have packs of plain white blank cards that say thank you written on the front at the dollar store or michael's $1 bins. It's also very traditional and bringing back what some people call "the lost art" of personal hand-written thank you's. I'm only 21 and I keep all thank you notes from the provider and DCF's I get on a cork board and look at it whenever I need a pick me up.

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It really depends for me. I wouldn't post if it were something like a gift card or something like that but I've had parents bring me personally cookies and another brought me a Starbucks coffee in the morning and I've thanked them both on facebook. A coffee from Starbucks can really make my day! But then again... they both were my only daycare people I was friends with on Facebook aside from my brother and sister in law. So, it really doesn't benefit me much to do it on fb in my case. I wasn't doing it to encourage people to get me gifts but more gloating about the wonderfulness that I was partaking in.

Honestly, not to say that they should feel obligated to but how often do you buy their kids gifts for holidays and birthdays and get nothing in return during xmas or whatever? It will be my first xmas. I will be interested to see what happens this season but I remember my mom never got much for as much as she did for her families.

Sometimes I wonder if they just don't even think about it more than they are being scroogie.

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I always write personal thank you cards and give it to the families at the end of the day. I wouldnt want to do it publicly and make the other families feel bad they didnt give a gift.

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If all the parents gave a gift, I thank for "all the thoughtful gifts" publicly.

If not all the parents brought in a gift I thank for "all the wonderful well-wishes" publicly.

The Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles are the only ones able to see my site so showing a little "public" gratitude does not seem rude to me. IMHO, it let's them know their family member is a wonderful, thoughtful parent whom I enjoy having around.

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I thank my dcfamilies all of the time on my dc facebook page. If they bring a toy in I thank them for donating it, if they bring treats I thank them and show a picture of the kids enjoying the treat. I had a dcmom bring me a Starbucks and I posted a picture with a comment about what a great way to start the day. I have also put a comment like "thank you for all of the wonderful Christmas gifts" but I don't thank them online for specific gifts to me, for those I give a thank you note.

I think an online thank you is fine, it is an expression between provider and one family, it really has nothing to do with the other families or how they feel.

Actually when I thanked all of my families online for the wonderful Christmas gifts I was hoping this one family WOULD see it! The things they asked me to do were so beyond the scope of my job description that a gift from them would have been nice! (like look through dckids poop for a penny he swallowed AT HOME, and shove dckids rectum back in if he pushed so hard it popped out!)

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