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SunshineMama 12:50 PM 09-25-2013
Do any of you moms with young children who do daycare feel like you're always running on 75%? I feel like all I do all day is work, clean, teach, repeat, and it starts at 6:00am when my baby wakes up' ends at 8:30 when the older ones are asleep, and continues 1-2 times a night as the baby nurses. Having my own 3 kids under 5 is hard enough, but adding 3 extra daycare kids is really tough. I'm on call 24/7, and dh is gone a lot for work and helps a bit, but it's not enough. I'm sick of all of the noise, I have a headache, I'm always cleaning, and as soon as a task is done, and I have one second to breathe, someone poops, or spills something, etc. By the end of the day, I don't have much left for my own kids. I feel like I am missing out on some of the joy because my life is just one rat race to hurry up and try to keep up. And when all of the kids are in bed, and I have 2 hours to relax, dh wants attention, and then the baby wakes up again. I'm tired and stressed and I want everyone to stop being so loud and messy. I want one day without someone touching me, or hearing whining or crying. I want to feel like a human again!
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Unregistered 01:12 PM 09-25-2013
I understand! I feel have been feeling that way for the past few months. I have no advice, just wanted you to know you are not alone!
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April 01:13 PM 09-25-2013
I completely agree with you! I have 2 little girls and my husband works more times than not 6 days a week and is gone from dark to dark and even over night sometimes. I am also going to school full time... (thankfully my classes have mostly been online) I never realized how much work is put into being a good daycare provider. And it doesn't help if your anal and picky about how things are done....Just a little suggestion for you on a couple of things that I have just recently began doing that has helped lighten my load a bit. I have a helper come in about once a week for 2-3 hours to fill in for me which allows me to take care of appointments and other errands/household chores that I am unable to do while I have either daycare children. This also frees up my evenings to not feeling so rushed which in return helps throughout the week as I am much more prepared and rested. Even though I am still working it gives me a slight bit of quiet time and it is surprising how much you can get done when you don't have to load 2 little girls in and out of a vehicle and stop for a bajillion potty breaks.....I don't know where you live but here in Cali we have a grocery store who delivers. You place your order online and they bring it right in and onto your kitchen counter. This has saved me time and stress the last 3 weeks that I have done this! May be something to look into....
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harperluu 02:15 PM 09-25-2013
You need some time to yourself. I know that seems super obvious, and may seem impossible but that is what you need. For me, when I'm feeling like this (like if one single person/child/infant touches me again I will explode!!) I try and get some time away. I often go to yoga class because the room is dimly lit, quiet with minimal distractions. I honestly barely even do the yoga, and just revel in the lack of human interaction. It is so quiet there!! Sometimes I go to Barnes and Noble and just browse, or a coffee shop.

You need to rejuvenate. Whatever that means for you, put it on the top of your list and make it a priority. Let your husband know how you're feeling. Not in an accusatory way, but in a "this-is-what-I-need-to-feel-human-again-and-here-is-my-plan-thanks-for-your-support-help-me-make-this-happen-kind-of-way.

When my oldest (she's 20) went away to college I had these feelings in a significant way. My husband was also often gone in the evenings and I relied on her pretty regularly to head out and get time to myself after my littles were in bed. So I hired a mother's helper one night a week to do what I wanted. Sometimes she just ran the kids to soccer practice or I went to yoga class. Sometimes I just walked aimlessly around Target. It was wonderful!!

Make a plan right now to make time for yourself!!
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Shell 04:03 PM 09-25-2013
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
Do any of you moms with young children who do daycare feel like you're always running on 75%? I feel like all I do all day is work, clean, teach, repeat, and it starts at 6:00am when my baby wakes up' ends at 8:30 when the older ones are asleep, and continues 1-2 times a night as the baby nurses. Having my own 3 kids under 5 is hard enough, but adding 3 extra daycare kids is really tough. I'm on call 24/7, and dh is gone a lot for work and helps a bit, but it's not enough. I'm sick of all of the noise, I have a headache, I'm always cleaning, and as soon as a task is done, and I have one second to breathe, someone poops, or spills something, etc. By the end of the day, I don't have much left for my own kids. I feel like I am missing out on some of the joy because my life is just one rat race to hurry up and try to keep up. And when all of the kids are in bed, and I have 2 hours to relax, dh wants attention, and then the baby wakes up again. I'm tired and stressed and I want everyone to stop being so loud and messy. I want one day without someone touching me, or hearing whining or crying. I want to feel like a human again!
I could have written this post myself! I was on the phone yesterday with the bank, and couldn't get a word in because of a screaming dcg. I said to the lady, "Excuse the crying child in the background". She responded, "They won't be crying for long, and they will be out of the house and grown before you know it". I try to keep that in mind- although it's tough now, these are great days being spent with our own kids. I don't have much advice either, but totally understand how you are feeling!
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Brooksie 04:20 PM 09-25-2013
I totally understand. Sounds exactly like my life! I don't have a ton of advice other than try to breathe and remember that soon your kids will be off to school and then out of the house before you know it, and you will miss these days. Enjoy every moment you can. and
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tratliff 04:54 PM 09-25-2013
Originally Posted by harperluu:
You need to rejuvenate. Whatever that means for you, put it on the top of your list and make it a priority. Let your husband know how you're feeling. Not in an accusatory way, but in a "this-is-what-I-need-to-feel-human-again-and-here-is-my-plan-thanks-for-your-support-help-me-make-this-happen-kind-of-way.
This, so much. I have found that I seriously feel this way on a regular basis and I need some time to myself. If I don't get it, I find myself wandering around the store with a fussy child just to "get away" and making myself far more miserable. Fresh air, sunshine, yoga, a good coffee, something. Find something for you and do it now. And my husband is not so good at taking hints or directions so I have to tell him in a I-need-this-now-or-you-might-die kinda way.
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jenn 05:17 PM 09-25-2013
I only feel this way about 99% of the time
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Leigh 05:33 PM 09-25-2013
Originally Posted by mrsmichelle:
I could have written this post myself! I was on the phone yesterday with the bank, and couldn't get a word in because of a screaming dcg. I said to the lady, "Excuse the crying child in the background". She responded, "They won't be crying for long, and they will be out of the house and grown before you know it". I try to keep that in mind- although it's tough now, these are great days being spent with our own kids. I don't have much advice either, but totally understand how you are feeling!
You are not alone. I think every mom feels this way often. What helps me is to, literally, sit down and count my blessings. How lucky I am to have a healthy, smart, (mostly) delightful child and to be able to stay home with him while providing the kind of care to other children that I would want for my own. I have two moms who have told me more than once how grateful they are that their kids are at my home where they KNOW they are safe and happy. That makes me feel good that I can provide that.

I am happy that I work in my own home and never have to worry about an uncaring, tyrannical boss to tell me that I have to choose between my sick child and my job when he is ill. I am lucky to have a husband who supported me when I decided to leave my "job of a lifetime" to focus on what is REALLY important at home.

I'm not saying that you are ungrateful for what you have, but it does settle my nerves when I think about the reasons I choose to do what I do.
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cheerfuldom 05:37 PM 09-25-2013
I definitely feel like this. I have four under 6 (the youngest is still nursing at night) plus my three daycare kids and my husband works LONG hours. many days I see no one but the daycare parents and there are weeks that go by where i have gone no where but to church on sunday and grocery shopping on monday night. i have no solutions for you and i feel terrible for you. i know exactly how awful it can be. its definitely taken a toll on our marriage but we are barely making ends meet right now, we dont have a choice! ( and yes we have cut out all extras, we are on a Dave Ramsey plan, we are trying to get out of this)
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Unregistered 08:05 PM 09-25-2013
I have three older children all two years apart, now ages 15-19, and our youngest fourth child is six. When the older three were all preschool I was very busy being mom and housewife; cleaning, cooking, baking, bathing, reading, playing, a lot of what I do now, but for my own. I don't think I would've been very good at "sharing" all their time with other children everyday.

First question, is it possible to not have a second income right now, is there a way you can do without it, of course you and your husband have to be in total agreement on how to handle that. If that's not an option, maybe consider hiring some help. This could take different forms, it could be someone who becomes registered with your program, either helping along side of you, or taking your place and you get to balance out your time even if it's just 2-3 hours a week, not necessarily an everyday thing. You have a right and a responsibility to your family and yourself, and the dc children to keep things in balance. Think of it as a strategic business move, or from the standpoint of making a wise choice for your family... the fact is if you feel out of balance, you probably are, and no one expects you to be super human - but, if we put more than we can shoulder on ourselves, others are not going to protest; if we take it on they will continue to let us, and we will continue to feel more obligated. You have a lot going on, it's okay to seek help where you can get it. If not with the daycare, maybe with your own cleaning, even if just a little regularly scheduled help. Again, be together with your husband; mine was never keen on someone else coming in to help clean, but totally okay with me getting help with the dc. ??? I say get it from whatever source you can, the sooner the better. Any help will help as long as you try to make it consistent.

As a busy mom I know you realize how much can be accomplished in a couple of hours, so even if it's just 2-3 hours per week of hiring help in order to buzz through your house or take your own children aside and giving them a little one on one for awhile, either way your head will be clearer. Also, I have found it helpful sometimes to actually write things out on paper; trouble spots in the day, and then brainstorm solutions, something about getting it on paper helps the stress go down, and writing out solutions is getting closer to resolving problems. I hope this helps! Been there and still doing it!
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Sunshine75 09:24 AM 09-26-2013
I totally understand what you mean. My boys are not younger anymore, they are 10 and 13 but I homeschool them. Right now I have two babies and I am lucky if they are on the same schedule so my days are pretty much rushed through between diaper changes, bottles, lunches, naps, repeat, repeat and then checking in with our boys and seeing how their schoolwork is going and helping them if they have questions. Along with making their lunches and breakfasts as well. Where I used to run errands during the day I am now finding my time spent in the evenings running errands and playing catch up. I am hoping to get to a point where I can have some help to watch the daycare kids. I also am running my boys here and there to sports, science classes, etc all while trying to maintain the babies schedules as we all know what happens when a baby takes a nap in the car for 15 minutes and then decides they are "up" but CRABBY!
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Tags:burnt out, overwhelmed, rejuvenate
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