Bookworm 02:50 PM 02-07-2012
How do you handle the child that somehow manages to annoy every single child in the room. This particular child in not a behavior problem in the sense of hitting, pushing, and/or taking things from others. It's just that he is so eager to join a group of children in play that he just barrels in and literally destroys any project the group is doing. If they are in blocks, he knocks over whatever they are building. In puzzles, he will manage to break the puzzle.
He is not being malicious, he just wants to play. The problems started when the other children have excluded him from ALL indoor activities. They won't let him get within 50ft of them no matter what center they are in. When I talked to them about this and asked why wont't you let "Billy" play, they say "he always breaks our stuff", "he's too loud", "he won't wait his turn". I've tried to explain that he is just excited about playing with them. I also asked them to use their words when does something to upset them and if he doesn't stop after he's been asked nicely, then come tell me.
Well fast forward a couple of months and "Billy's" behavior has gotten worse even though several children have begun to include him in their "reindeer" games even actively seeking him out. Now he purposely goes over to other children to disrupt whatever they are doing. He will yell in their faces, knock over blocks, take crayons, write on the papers of others. Of course when he does these things, they tell him to go away. So what does he do? He falls out and has a tantrum because they don't want to play with him.
His parents have come to me upset because "Billy" says everyone is mean to him and no one will let him play with them. They were basically accusing us of allowing bullies to run my class. Fortunately for me, my Director is very familiar with "Billy's" issues and backed me up when I gave DCM and DCD a report on their "angel's" behavior not to mention the copies of daily reports that were sent home when I began to have concerns. Needless to say, DCM/DCD feel "Billy" was justified if he was being bullied which he wasn't.
Sorry this is sooooo long but I have been working with this for almost a year and I am pounding my head on the table everyday. If anyone can explain to me why he acts this way with the children even when they want to play with him, I will give you a million dollars just as soon as I play the Powerball.
Keep in mind that I work in a center and it usually takes an Act of God to term anybody.
bunnyslippers 05:14 AM 02-08-2012
I had a little boy that was like this, and now I have his little sister - she does the EXACT same stuff. I think it is attention motivated - any attention is attention. In the case here, I know parental attention was an issue.
What if you tried pairing the child up 1:1 with another child for some play activities? Maybe he would do better in a very small group. You could really beef up the positive reinforcement during that time. I would also really praise the other kids for being patient with the little guy. It is so hard, and it is very trying on everyone involved! Good luck ~
Bookworm 03:51 PM 02-08-2012
I tried that first thinking that he would make a new friend. It worked for about a week, but when the other child wanted to play with other kids as well he would go out of his way to destroy what ever game or toy they were playing with.
It really is an attention thing. The sad part is that I can't get him to understand that his behavior is what makes the other kids not want to play with him.