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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>11.5 Hours A Day In Daycare?
Angelwings36 10:09 AM 03-22-2011
I just got an email from someone looking for childcare. The hours that the mother said they would need are from 6:30am - 6:00pm. My hours of operation are from 7:30am - 5:15pm so obviously I'm not even considering taking in this family. However, I just feel that 11.5 hours a day for a 12 month old to be in daycare full time monday to friday is extremely excessive. Would you email her back and say anything? It's just bothering me....
Meyou 10:25 AM 03-22-2011
That is a long, long day. 
TBird 11:00 AM 03-22-2011
It is a long day, but most parents that work full time need a 1/2 hour to an hour to get to and from work. That's at least a 10 hour day.
If your hours are until 5:15, why did she call you if she needed care until 6:00??? Some people think they can call you in hopes that MAYBE you'll do an extra 45 minutes just for them. Uh uh....if you need care until 6:00 don't even call me!!!
If your hours are until 5:15, why did she call you if she needed care until 6:00??? Some people think they can call you in hopes that MAYBE you'll do an extra 45 minutes just for them. Uh uh....if you need care until 6:00 don't even call me!!!
Maddy'sMommy 11:20 AM 03-22-2011
It is a really long day, but I know the nurses in my area work 12 hour shifts, so do some other professions. Some people can't get around needing 11-12 hour care for their children.
daycare 11:22 AM 03-22-2011
you are free to voice what you think, but it won't change anything. I would just email her back and say sorry I don't offer services for the hours you requested...
BentleysBands 11:24 AM 03-22-2011
i would just say the hours wont work...as for it being a long day..i disagree. my parents ALL work fulltime M-f and i'm open from 630-6p ..yes a long day but its the hours they have to work . i think it depends on your area and travel times. around my area most jobs are 10+ hrs NOT including the1-2hr traffic/travel time esp those who travel thru the area tunnels. traffic is horrible. i've always had long days as you guys say but its the norm here.
daycare 11:31 AM 03-22-2011
12 hours is way too many hours for any child to be in child care of any age. With that being said, I do understand that parents need to work. But I really think that parents should have thought about that before having kids. Why have a child so someone else can raise your child? I get needing to work, location, and so on, but I think that it is sad that the child knows the provider more than their own parent.
Unregistered 11:03 AM 03-22-2011
I wouldnt say anything. But that is a long day. My hours are 7-5:30.
Angelwings36 09:19 AM 03-24-2011
See this is what I don't get.
You stand firm that develomentally approriate programs are what all programs should be. You have shared that you are an evaluator of programs as a part of your living.
How can you suggest that it is EVER developmentally appropriate for a developmentally appropriate program to ALLOW eleven hour days? Doesn't that completely defy developmentally appropriate?
Where is it on your evaluation tools that asks "how many hours per day does each child in this program attend?". Shouldn't that be the FIRST question? Shouldn't that be more important than whether or not their is a sand and water table? Shouldn't that matter more than having comfy seating or a "quiet area" for privacy?
When are we going to recognize that it is impossible to be developmentally appropriate when a child is away from their parent that many waking hours a day? When are we going to take a stand and tell parents we just can't do it? It's too much.
There are only twenty four hours in a day. That can't be cheated. If a kid is in your home eleven hours and has transport time home with parents there is no possible way for them to have any substantial DAILY awake face time with their kid.
I do nine hours max. You allow eleven. Just think about the last two hours every day in your program and imagine every single kid being home and awake with their parents.
Now you tell me that you wouldn't prefer that? You tell me it wouldn't make a HUGE difference in the quality of parenting and the quality of YOU and your work?
This isn't something that needs researching... it's plain simple common sense. Children need TIME .... awake TIME.. every day with their parents.
I won't be a part of any care that means that at the end of the week the kid is in my care more hours awake than they are in the parents care a week awake.
I'm not talking about sleeping times... I'm talking about awake hours. Not counting nap... not counting sleeping at night... AWAKE hours.
We need to be the ones to take a stand and say we won't do it. We won't be a part of any system that promotes that much time in care. Sure people have busy lives .... they have to work... but the message needs to be sent before the kid is even conceived that the "BEST" child care won't allow eleven hour days because the best know it's not in the BEST interest of the kids.
I AGREE with Nannyde on this one 100%!
You stand firm that develomentally approriate programs are what all programs should be. You have shared that you are an evaluator of programs as a part of your living.
How can you suggest that it is EVER developmentally appropriate for a developmentally appropriate program to ALLOW eleven hour days? Doesn't that completely defy developmentally appropriate?
Where is it on your evaluation tools that asks "how many hours per day does each child in this program attend?". Shouldn't that be the FIRST question? Shouldn't that be more important than whether or not their is a sand and water table? Shouldn't that matter more than having comfy seating or a "quiet area" for privacy?
When are we going to recognize that it is impossible to be developmentally appropriate when a child is away from their parent that many waking hours a day? When are we going to take a stand and tell parents we just can't do it? It's too much.
There are only twenty four hours in a day. That can't be cheated. If a kid is in your home eleven hours and has transport time home with parents there is no possible way for them to have any substantial DAILY awake face time with their kid.
I do nine hours max. You allow eleven. Just think about the last two hours every day in your program and imagine every single kid being home and awake with their parents.
Now you tell me that you wouldn't prefer that? You tell me it wouldn't make a HUGE difference in the quality of parenting and the quality of YOU and your work?
This isn't something that needs researching... it's plain simple common sense. Children need TIME .... awake TIME.. every day with their parents.
I won't be a part of any care that means that at the end of the week the kid is in my care more hours awake than they are in the parents care a week awake.
I'm not talking about sleeping times... I'm talking about awake hours. Not counting nap... not counting sleeping at night... AWAKE hours.
We need to be the ones to take a stand and say we won't do it. We won't be a part of any system that promotes that much time in care. Sure people have busy lives .... they have to work... but the message needs to be sent before the kid is even conceived that the "BEST" child care won't allow eleven hour days because the best know it's not in the BEST interest of the kids.
I AGREE with Nannyde on this one 100%!
Unregistered 09:34 AM 03-24-2011
Here is the problem. Parents will piece together care with a sitter or nanny for the hours surrounding FCP and Center care if they have too. Its not that parents plan to have children in care that long, it is simply not a choice. Frankly, choice, when it comes to parenthood is becoming less available every day. If you don't want to provide care for the hours a parent needs, that all that needs to be said. Many parents work more than an hour from their homes or care centers, few workplaces offer on site care, and often the choice of a one hour commute with child and near care to work is not available. Maybe this is a regional or cultural problem.
Offer what you want to offer and feel comfortable with.
Let parents make their own best decisions in the care and support of their children.
And - for the poster with a friend who grew up in China - things have changed all over the world and many parents do work world wide, full days, with long commutes and not all grandmas are retired either.
I understand most FCPs here made the career choice to be able to be with their own children. Not everyone has the gifts and talents required to take that role, and some parents have necessary skills (like pediatrician, nurse, police officer, shift worker) that do require them to be away from home for longer than is ideal.
I know many parents who could support their children if they were only paid what is covered in child care assistance. That is just not an option.
Offer what you want to offer and feel comfortable with.
Let parents make their own best decisions in the care and support of their children.
And - for the poster with a friend who grew up in China - things have changed all over the world and many parents do work world wide, full days, with long commutes and not all grandmas are retired either.
I understand most FCPs here made the career choice to be able to be with their own children. Not everyone has the gifts and talents required to take that role, and some parents have necessary skills (like pediatrician, nurse, police officer, shift worker) that do require them to be away from home for longer than is ideal.
I know many parents who could support their children if they were only paid what is covered in child care assistance. That is just not an option.
Unregistered 10:50 AM 03-24-2011
I can remember when my DD was in daycare and those were long days. Long commutes are the worst. She was in daycare from about 7:15am until about 5:45pm, Monday through Friday. It couldn't be helped at the time. The alternative was not working and trying to scrape by on my husband's income alone. That was not going to be a viable option because we had too many expenses at the time. I think that we made the best decision possible for our family at the time. Do I wish that I would have had more time with her? Yes, but in the long run it would have created a lot of financial problems.
As far as public assistance goes, there are people who abuse it and there are people who don't abuse it. It's a sore spot for me because I have sisters who have managed to turn public assistance into a way of getting by without working. It's especially difficult when one of my sisters acts like she's the World's most loving mom because she was there for her kids. I have had to learn that not all people on assistance are like my sisters, but it is a work in progress. It takes time.
As far as public assistance goes, there are people who abuse it and there are people who don't abuse it. It's a sore spot for me because I have sisters who have managed to turn public assistance into a way of getting by without working. It's especially difficult when one of my sisters acts like she's the World's most loving mom because she was there for her kids. I have had to learn that not all people on assistance are like my sisters, but it is a work in progress. It takes time.
TBird 12:18 PM 03-24-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I can remember when my DD was in daycare and those were long days. Long commutes are the worst. She was in daycare from about 7:15am until about 5:45pm, Monday through Friday. It couldn't be helped at the time. The alternative was not working and trying to scrape by on my husband's income alone. That was not going to be a viable option because we had too many expenses at the time. I think that we made the best decision possible for our family at the time. Do I wish that I would have had more time with her? Yes, but in the long run it would have created a lot of financial problems.
As far as public assistance goes, there are people who abuse it and there are people who don't abuse it. It's a sore spot for me because I have sisters who have managed to turn public assistance into a way of getting by without working. It's especially difficult when one of my sisters acts like she's the World's most loving mom because she was there for her kids. I have had to learn that not all people on assistance are like my sisters, but it is a work in progress. It takes time.
I've worked in corporate and I've worked at home so I can see both sides of the coin. I didn't really "weigh in" on this thread because it seemed to have gotten hurtful to people along the way. I can remember when my DD was in daycare and those were long days. Long commutes are the worst. She was in daycare from about 7:15am until about 5:45pm, Monday through Friday. It couldn't be helped at the time. The alternative was not working and trying to scrape by on my husband's income alone. That was not going to be a viable option because we had too many expenses at the time. I think that we made the best decision possible for our family at the time. Do I wish that I would have had more time with her? Yes, but in the long run it would have created a lot of financial problems.
As far as public assistance goes, there are people who abuse it and there are people who don't abuse it. It's a sore spot for me because I have sisters who have managed to turn public assistance into a way of getting by without working. It's especially difficult when one of my sisters acts like she's the World's most loving mom because she was there for her kids. I have had to learn that not all people on assistance are like my sisters, but it is a work in progress. It takes time.
I really like how you worded your post. Very non-judgmental and understanding of both sides....thank you!
daycare 12:47 PM 03-24-2011
I have been thinking about the posts that were going back and forth and thought about it to the point that I went back and read from the start.
I want to apologize to anyone that I may have offended and this was never my intention. I did make the mistake and not explain myself well and I “bunched people into groups”, which was not fair.
WE all know that no two people have the same story or the same life. And I think that as American’s it is great that we are FREE to voice our opinions, good or bad.
I don’t want to comment on this subject anymore, buy I was feeling bad that I offended some people and needed to apologize. I am very sorry to those that I may offended.
I want to apologize to anyone that I may have offended and this was never my intention. I did make the mistake and not explain myself well and I “bunched people into groups”, which was not fair.
WE all know that no two people have the same story or the same life. And I think that as American’s it is great that we are FREE to voice our opinions, good or bad.
I don’t want to comment on this subject anymore, buy I was feeling bad that I offended some people and needed to apologize. I am very sorry to those that I may offended.
Unregistered 09:05 AM 05-09-2019
I work 2 jobs and my wife is a nurse an hour away from our home . 3 days out of the week my child requires 11.5 hour days at daycare. I wanted a daughter, I will not be a dirtbag of a human being dependent on welfare, and I will work my ass off to provide for my family. The extra money destroys our debt, saves money for my daughters college/wedding/future house. Yes it’s a long day for anyone to do and guess what I did think about providing for my daughter when I thought about having kids. Anyone who say you should have thought about that before having children either does not have children or completely relays on free handouts I.e. government assistance, stay at home mom, or still live with your parents. Some of us have to work our ass off to survive. Until you have been in our shoes you can promptly stfu.
Blackcat31 09:15 AM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I work 2 jobs and my wife is a nurse an hour away from our home . 3 days out of the week my child requires 11.5 hour days at daycare. I wanted a daughter, I will not be a dirtbag of a human being dependent on welfare, and I will work my ass off to provide for my family. The extra money destroys our debt, saves money for my daughters college/wedding/future house. Yes it’s a long day for anyone to do and guess what I did think about providing for my daughter when I thought about having kids. Anyone who say you should have thought about that before having children either does not have children or completely relays on free handouts I.e. government assistance, stay at home mom, or still live with your parents. Some of us have to work our ass off to survive. Until you have been in our shoes you can promptly stfu.
Um okay. I work 2 jobs and my wife is a nurse an hour away from our home . 3 days out of the week my child requires 11.5 hour days at daycare. I wanted a daughter, I will not be a dirtbag of a human being dependent on welfare, and I will work my ass off to provide for my family. The extra money destroys our debt, saves money for my daughters college/wedding/future house. Yes it’s a long day for anyone to do and guess what I did think about providing for my daughter when I thought about having kids. Anyone who say you should have thought about that before having children either does not have children or completely relays on free handouts I.e. government assistance, stay at home mom, or still live with your parents. Some of us have to work our ass off to survive. Until you have been in our shoes you can promptly stfu.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion.
You don't have to agree but generalized sweeping statements about those that don't share your view is pretty narrow minded.
Everyone also has choices.
hwichlaz 09:28 AM 05-09-2019
Law Enforcement
Firefighters
EMTs
Paramedics
Dispatchers
Nurses
ER Drs
all work 12 hour shifts here. Most of them 3-4 days a week. Our sheriff's dept is so under staffed right now that they are all working 5 and 6 days a week. None of them had kids or started that job expecting to work 5 or 6 12 hours shifts a week. But it is what it is, and they need child care.
Firefighters
EMTs
Paramedics
Dispatchers
Nurses
ER Drs
all work 12 hour shifts here. Most of them 3-4 days a week. Our sheriff's dept is so under staffed right now that they are all working 5 and 6 days a week. None of them had kids or started that job expecting to work 5 or 6 12 hours shifts a week. But it is what it is, and they need child care.
Ariana 10:14 AM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
Law Enforcement
Firefighters
EMTs
Paramedics
Dispatchers
Nurses
ER Drs
all work 12 hour shifts here. Most of them 3-4 days a week. Our sheriff's dept is so under staffed right now that they are all working 5 and 6 days a week. None of them had kids or started that job expecting to work 5 or 6 12 hours shifts a week. But it is what it is, and they need child care.
Most parents can stagger their hours so they don’t leave their kids in care for those hours. I can see some people truly needing it but most don’t.Law Enforcement
Firefighters
EMTs
Paramedics
Dispatchers
Nurses
ER Drs
all work 12 hour shifts here. Most of them 3-4 days a week. Our sheriff's dept is so under staffed right now that they are all working 5 and 6 days a week. None of them had kids or started that job expecting to work 5 or 6 12 hours shifts a week. But it is what it is, and they need child care.
Almost every single daycare ad I have seen in the past two years is for a minimum of 10 hours a day. The last family I interviewed needed my full day of 7am-5pm eventhough I asked both of them what they did for a living and there was no reason they could not stagger their hours like some of my other families. The couple across the street from me both work the same job as my husband but both work 10 hours to his 7!
Some people are making those choices.
hwichlaz 12:10 PM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Most parents can stagger their hours so they don’t leave their kids in care for those hours. I can see some people truly needing it but most don’t.
Almost every single daycare ad I have seen in the past two years is for a minimum of 10 hours a day. The last family I interviewed needed my full day of 7am-5pm eventhough I asked both of them what they did for a living and there was no reason they could not stagger their hours like some of my other families. The couple across the street from me both work the same job as my husband but both work 10 hours to his 7!
Some people are making those choices.
That was possible before they were short-handed. Now everyone is ordered in for mandatory over time. We are a very large county...and right now we only have 2 deputies on duty at a time. There is a large lake in the middle of our county that takes about an hour to drive around rolling code. It's practically the wild west out here right now. With mom and dad working opposite days, because of the mandatory OT the kids are still in care 4 days a week 13 hours a day. No one likes it...but getting fired for refusing the OT isn't an option.Most parents can stagger their hours so they don’t leave their kids in care for those hours. I can see some people truly needing it but most don’t.
Almost every single daycare ad I have seen in the past two years is for a minimum of 10 hours a day. The last family I interviewed needed my full day of 7am-5pm eventhough I asked both of them what they did for a living and there was no reason they could not stagger their hours like some of my other families. The couple across the street from me both work the same job as my husband but both work 10 hours to his 7!
Some people are making those choices.
Examply, before mandatory OT mom works Mon-Wed and every other Thursday. Dad worked Every other wednesday and Thurs-Sat They get sundays off together to do family stuff. Mom is working at the jail, dad on patrol, which is why the sunday off happens. With mandatory OT they are both working 6 days a week but still getting Sundays off together. It really sucks
Josiegirl 09:56 AM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Um okay.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion.
You don't have to agree but generalized sweeping statements about those that don't share your view is pretty narrow minded.
Everyone also has choices.
What's with all the new unregistered posts? Did I miss something?Um okay.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion.
You don't have to agree but generalized sweeping statements about those that don't share your view is pretty narrow minded.
Everyone also has choices.
Cat Herder 11:59 AM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
What's with all the new unregistered posts? Did I miss something?
I am curious as well.What's with all the new unregistered posts? Did I miss something?
Also, as a double paramedic/firefighter family (DH and I), we make the choices we can live with. Our kids have not been in daycare, our bills are paid, we paid for their college and are now funding our retirement. My time on shift is the easy part.
Msdunny 07:03 AM 07-12-2019
The older I get, the more I realize that my job (home daycare) cannot be my life. So I would never take on a client that needed me 60+ hours per week. my time is just too valuable to me. And I have raised too many kids whose parents value work time and 'getting ahead' over spending time with their own sweet little ones. The years pass too quickly. I get that for some folks, that is a necessity. I really do. So please don't 'yell'. But for me, it is just too much. My own family needs my attention, and my home needs to be a home.
So to answer your question, yes, I think 11.5 hours is too much time for a kiddo to be in daycare, and I would never take that client. But I am glad there are good providers out there who can and will.
But for me, it is just too much. My own family needs my attention, and my home needs to be a home. So to answer your question, yes, I think 11.5 hours is too much time for a kiddo to be in daycare, and I would never take that client. But I am glad there are good providers out there who can and will.
Mike 07:45 AM 07-12-2019
I think it's simple. If a parent needs long hours, they just have to find a daycare that does offer long hours. Daycares that are open 10 hours, or only 2 hours, are open for that long by choice. Parents just need to find a daycare that can meet their needs. If there isn't one, that's not daycare providers faults.
Dreamer0311 07:52 AM 07-12-2019
There are MANY single parents that did not choose to be single yes it was both parties but things happen. Or maybe they did but hey that’s life. I have most that only stay for 8 hrs but two that stay for 12 hours. He pays me extra for the longer time and it isn’t the kids fault. When I was working out of the home our daycare opened at 6 am and closed at 6 pm so 12 hour operation. Also my husband is a police officer and works 12 hours not including his commute. Ofc we don’t have to worry about childcare because lol I run a daycare but if you want to take it on do but if not don’t if you are ok with going a litttle longer but need more money for the overage of 10 hours. If the program isn’t good then no I don’t think think it is to long. I mean I do but I don’t. I have mixed feelings about it. Not everyone can have the luxury of a 8 or 10 hour job. It’s when they start abusing the time and leaving them there longer then the agreed upon times.
Mom2Two 11:48 AM 07-12-2019
Well pretty much everyone has said most of the things I've been thinking as I read the thread over.
The only thing I would add is that I am pretty ticked at whoever is was that started the idea that we can do it all/have it all.
The biological reality is that it takes 20 or so years to raise a human being. There's lots of good data about the impact a good parent makes. But this reality seems to be consistently missing from all conversations about daycare/professions/life style.
Our life choices have more impact than just on the economy or our personal happiness. No one else can parent a child better than a committed parent.
The only thing I would add is that I am pretty ticked at whoever is was that started the idea that we can do it all/have it all.
The biological reality is that it takes 20 or so years to raise a human being. There's lots of good data about the impact a good parent makes. But this reality seems to be consistently missing from all conversations about daycare/professions/life style.
Our life choices have more impact than just on the economy or our personal happiness. No one else can parent a child better than a committed parent.
Unregistered 07:16 PM 05-12-2021
Wow.
Most of you are terrible people and shouldn't be allowed to help raise anyone's children.
Most of you are terrible people and shouldn't be allowed to help raise anyone's children.
Cat Herder 04:01 AM 05-13-2021
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow.
Most of you are terrible people and shouldn't be allowed to help raise anyone's children.
Work in childcare for a while, then come back. Not everyone who gives birth is a good person. Wow.
Most of you are terrible people and shouldn't be allowed to help raise anyone's children.
This is our watercooler. We do what is right for the children in our care and we vent to one another about the BS we put up with from parents as stress relief so we don't take that frustration home to our families. We are human, just like you.
Blackcat31 07:29 AM 05-13-2021
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Work in childcare for a while, then come back. Not everyone who gives birth is a good person.
This is our watercooler. We do what is right for the children in our care and we vent to one another about the BS we put up with from parents as stress relief so we don't take that frustration home to our families. We are human, just like you.
And why are we bad people for not wanting to care for a child for 11.5 hours a day??? Parents always start telling us how awful we are when we don't want to do THEIR job. Hmmm... Work in childcare for a while, then come back. Not everyone who gives birth is a good person.
This is our watercooler. We do what is right for the children in our care and we vent to one another about the BS we put up with from parents as stress relief so we don't take that frustration home to our families. We are human, just like you.
Blackcat31 12:04 PM 05-13-2021
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow.
Most of you are terrible people and shouldn't be allowed to help raise anyone's children.
Good! I don’t want to raise any one else’s child. Wow.
Most of you are terrible people and shouldn't be allowed to help raise anyone's children.
I want to provide quality care for them while their parent is working.
Raising them is not in MY job description.
Unregistered 04:37 PM 05-13-2021
I know in centers in WI theres a 10 hr limit. Like we had to get a variance for any child who needed longer care (like the childs whos mom worked 10 hrs, and had a half hr commute each way)
Unregistered 10:08 AM 05-14-2021
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow.
Most of you are terrible people and shouldn't be allowed to help raise anyone's children.
Welp, you caught me.Wow.
Most of you are terrible people and shouldn't be allowed to help raise anyone's children.
Here I was trying to raise the whole neighborhood with my wacky ways.
I'll go back to hiding in my hole. My bad.
girlmomma 06:28 AM 05-21-2021
I once had a young lady reach out to me when I first opened. She asked my hours, at the time they were 6-6. She said she would need care from 6-6 three days a week and asked for a discount. I said “you pay for the spot.” The woman said “okay, I’ll bring child while I go to the gym on my days off and do errands,” which we all know is code for, you’ll have my child 12 hours a day, 5 days/week. I finally told the young lady I wasn’t interested.
Taking care of one child all day is exhausting, I wish parents could imagine taking care of 4-8 or even more! Unless there is a family emergency, I absolutely will not keep a child from open to close. My hours are now 7-5:30 and because of this forum, I’ve debated on changing rates based on pick up times in the future.
Taking care of one child all day is exhausting, I wish parents could imagine taking care of 4-8 or even more! Unless there is a family emergency, I absolutely will not keep a child from open to close. My hours are now 7-5:30 and because of this forum, I’ve debated on changing rates based on pick up times in the future.
Rockgirl 12:08 PM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I work 2 jobs and my wife is a nurse an hour away from our home . 3 days out of the week my child requires 11.5 hour days at daycare. I wanted a daughter, I will not be a dirtbag of a human being dependent on welfare, and I will work my ass off to provide for my family. The extra money destroys our debt, saves money for my daughters college/wedding/future house. Yes it’s a long day for anyone to do and guess what I did think about providing for my daughter when I thought about having kids. Anyone who say you should have thought about that before having children either does not have children or completely relays on free handouts I.e. government assistance, stay at home mom, or still live with your parents. Some of us have to work our ass off to survive. Until you have been in our shoes you can promptly stfu.
“Promptly stfu”? The last post in this thread was eight years ago, until you bumped it back up, so.....I work 2 jobs and my wife is a nurse an hour away from our home . 3 days out of the week my child requires 11.5 hour days at daycare. I wanted a daughter, I will not be a dirtbag of a human being dependent on welfare, and I will work my ass off to provide for my family. The extra money destroys our debt, saves money for my daughters college/wedding/future house. Yes it’s a long day for anyone to do and guess what I did think about providing for my daughter when I thought about having kids. Anyone who say you should have thought about that before having children either does not have children or completely relays on free handouts I.e. government assistance, stay at home mom, or still live with your parents. Some of us have to work our ass off to survive. Until you have been in our shoes you can promptly stfu.
Susiecutie29 08:08 AM 07-11-2019
Have you judgemental people thought that she might be a single mom?? I was raised in foster care. I lost contact with all my family members. I am now married with my husband of eight years. The point is, if he were to leave me, I'd have no one to watch my kids. Therefore, forcing my hand to work a longer shift from eight to twelve hours. At this time, I'd have no choice but to have them be in day care for that long. I would hate it and with a passion, but sometimes and most people, don't have the option to be a stay at home mom. Even if there were two parents, nowadays, it takes two paychecks to live in this God forsaken world. You really think if she had another way, she would be home with her babies longer??? You mothers out there need to have more compassion for other people's lives. You don't know until you ask. As for the person who denied her care for her children just because you thought it was too long, shame on you! Yes, it is long, but every situation is different and this mom needed your help.
springv 08:43 AM 07-11-2019
We are opened from 6am until 6pm Monday-Friday and some of our kids stay that long and some stay from 6am until 2pm or 3:30pm depending on their work schedules. When the first owners did this they done it so that it gives parents reasonable time to get to and from work or wherever they need to be
Blackcat31 08:49 AM 07-11-2019
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
Have you judgemental people thought that she might be a single mom??
Being a single parent is not a disability. Have you judgemental people thought that she might be a single mom??
Single parenting is not "special" nor does it equate to deserving special treatment.
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
I was raised in foster care. I lost contact with all my family members. I am now married with my husband of eight years. The point is, if he were to leave me, I'd have no one to watch my kids. Therefore, forcing my hand to work a longer shift from eight to twelve hours. At this time, I'd have no choice but to have them be in day care for that long. I would hate it and with a passion, but sometimes and most people, don't have the option to be a stay at home mom.
So hypothetically if your husband were to leave you, he would also being leaving his parental duties/responsibilities as well? I was raised in foster care. I lost contact with all my family members. I am now married with my husband of eight years. The point is, if he were to leave me, I'd have no one to watch my kids. Therefore, forcing my hand to work a longer shift from eight to twelve hours. At this time, I'd have no choice but to have them be in day care for that long. I would hate it and with a passion, but sometimes and most people, don't have the option to be a stay at home mom.
He would surely be available to help raise the child(ren) you had together...
Also in 8+ years time you have made no friends nor developed any type of support system than can lend a hand or help in caring for your child(ren) verses assuming a child care provider should have to step up and do that work for you?
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
Even if there were two parents, nowadays, it takes two paychecks to live in this God forsaken world.
9 out of 10 times it's because people (generally) feel that they need things they really don't need but rather want. Even if there were two parents, nowadays, it takes two paychecks to live in this God forsaken world.
It requires two paychecks because people live beyond their means and choose to live a specific way.
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
You really think if she had another way, she would be home with her babies longer??? You mothers out there need to have more compassion for other people's lives. You don't know until you ask.
Most providers have experienced parents that bring their children every day, all day even on their off days. You really think if she had another way, she would be home with her babies longer??? You mothers out there need to have more compassion for other people's lives. You don't know until you ask.
Its a rare parent that uses child care for only working hours.
So our experience as providers differs greatly from what you are saying.
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
As for the person who denied her care for her children just because you thought it was too long, shame on you! Yes, it is long, but every situation is different and this mom needed your help.
Assuming child care providers don't care or shaming us for not assisting in the PARENT part of raising a child is judgemental and unkind. Shame on you for thinking it's a provider's responsibility to fill in the gaps for parents. As for the person who denied her care for her children just because you thought it was too long, shame on you! Yes, it is long, but every situation is different and this mom needed your help.
Providers work LONG hours without breaks or time off during the day.
We work long and hard to make up for those things parents often times don't do for their children.
Providers see the fall out of parents that put work obligations above their child and long hours are never beneficial for a child in any situation.
Don't blame child care providers for that.
That's on the parent.
Oh and for the record; many licensing rules and regulations prohibit a child from being in care more than a set number of hours per day.
But you wouldn't know that unless you asked.
Clearly it's not the provider's that are being judgmental here.
Susiecutie29 09:01 AM 07-11-2019
Ok, so we're not talking about my situation, it was hypothetical
Some people just don't have that option. Dads can be scumbags. Hell, a number of reasons why she needs her kids to be in daycare that long. Do you know? I don't think so. Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad. However, there needs to be rules. If she had gone past that forty-five minute mark, then say you can't do this anymore. Daycare centers get paid quite the amount. Forty-five minutes is not too bad for someone who needs the help. Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer. thanks kitty kat 30
Some people just don't have that option. Dads can be scumbags. Hell, a number of reasons why she needs her kids to be in daycare that long. Do you know? I don't think so. Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad. However, there needs to be rules. If she had gone past that forty-five minute mark, then say you can't do this anymore. Daycare centers get paid quite the amount. Forty-five minutes is not too bad for someone who needs the help. Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer.
thanks kitty kat 30
Cat Herder 10:16 AM 07-11-2019
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer. thanks kitty kat 30
No thanks. Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer.
thanks kitty kat 30I already did the hard work of planning for then having kids on purpose, building my own business and raising my children to adulthood myself. I will not change my policies for people who don't or won't do the same.
There are already plenty of subsidy programs for the hypothetical people you are talking about.
Being disrespectful to the moderators could get you banned, tread lightly.
Blackcat31 10:41 AM 07-11-2019
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
Ok, so we're not talking about my situation, it was hypothetical
Some people just don't have that option. Dads can be scumbags. Hell, a number of reasons why she needs her kids to be in daycare that long. Do you know? I don't think so. Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad. However, there needs to be rules. If she had gone past that forty-five minute mark, then say you can't do this anymore. Daycare centers get paid quite the amount. Forty-five minutes is not too bad for someone who needs the help. Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer. thanks kitty kat 30
Is this a fact or another assumption? Ok, so we're not talking about my situation, it was hypothetical
Some people just don't have that option. Dads can be scumbags. Hell, a number of reasons why she needs her kids to be in daycare that long. Do you know? I don't think so. Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad. However, there needs to be rules. If she had gone past that forty-five minute mark, then say you can't do this anymore. Daycare centers get paid quite the amount. Forty-five minutes is not too bad for someone who needs the help. Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer.
thanks kitty kat 30Don't be judgemental.
....and for the record, I wasn't being snarky to you in my response so please save the sarcasm, it's not appreciated when discussing important parent obligations.
boy_mom 10:44 AM 07-11-2019
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad.
We have plenty of compassion, the majority of us feel for parents who are trying to make it work and get by. That does not equate to granting each and every request from a client. Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad.
You say another 45 minutes isn't a long time, but it really is after you worked a 10 hour day. We also work with multiple families at a time, who all have needs outside what we offer. At what point does it end granting special requests??
Where is the compassion for the provider who has already worked a long day, who still has another hour of cleaning/sanitizing and paperwork once the families have gone home for the night?
Where is the compassion for our own families who have been waiting all day for our attention and care?
That "compassion" ish goes both ways my friend.....
Snowmom 03:38 PM 07-14-2019
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
Ok, so we're not talking about my situation, it was hypothetical
Some people just don't have that option. Dads can be scumbags. Hell, a number of reasons why she needs her kids to be in daycare that long. Do you know? I don't think so. Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad. However, there needs to be rules. If she had gone past that forty-five minute mark, then say you can't do this anymore. Daycare centers get paid quite the amount. Forty-five minutes is not too bad for someone who needs the help. Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer. thanks kitty kat 30
Personally, I don't give a rat's @$$ why you (general you) need daycare. I don't care what your story is. I don't care what woe-is-me, single-mom back history you have. I will never ask and I don't care to know.Ok, so we're not talking about my situation, it was hypothetical
Some people just don't have that option. Dads can be scumbags. Hell, a number of reasons why she needs her kids to be in daycare that long. Do you know? I don't think so. Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad. However, there needs to be rules. If she had gone past that forty-five minute mark, then say you can't do this anymore. Daycare centers get paid quite the amount. Forty-five minutes is not too bad for someone who needs the help. Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer.
thanks kitty kat 30If you don't fit with what my business has to offer, move on to someone who offers what you want (IF you can find it).
MelissaP 06:27 AM 07-23-2019
I agree with SnowMom 1000 percent! I don't care what life has thrown your way (it's all a choice. You know who you married, what job you have, what hours you have). My first husband was a drug addicted, over the road truck driver.. I made my life work for our kids (he was there but not really). When we split up, he took off for years before getting it together enough to be in his kids lives. I made it work for ME and the children. I knew who I married. I never could count on him. He bailed on his first kid.I knew who he was. I wasn't blinded by some superficial love. I made the decision to marry a drug addict. A guy that loved the road more then me. There was never a haze over that. BUT, I raised my kids. I never once had to put them in a child care facility for over two weeks because I made MY schedule work with someone else's so that my kids were raised by family. I worked retail most of my 20s and 30s. My hours were 7:00 - 3:30 every day and if my job couldn't extend those hours to me, I went elsewhere. My mother was also a single parent and I was in the care of her best friend for many years growing up. My mother made her hours work around what she could (the same 6:30 - 3:00 shift) so I was never without awake time with my mother. Using the single parent thing as an excuse is just that.. an excuse. Same goes when woman announce that they are "single parents" and looking for "affordable care". What does that mean? "Affordable care"? And why is this my problem? I still need to pay the bills.
My hours are from 7-5pm for a reason. I also want time with my children and my family. I don't want to be rushed to do anything in the evening. If that doesn't work for families, that's fine. I don't care. It works for 99 percent of the families that I am in the market for and if not.. there are centers around here that are open 6-6:30pm.
There are also 24 hour facilities that are open for the families that are healthcare providers, first responders and community services providers. I get it, I'm not hating on any of those individuals and am happy that we have those that provide those services. But please do not call me if you need hours outside of my 7-5. I will not take you. And I am working on becoming a provider that specializes i teacher care, so you may not call me if you are not a teacher or the like (I like my summers. LOL).
My hours are from 7-5pm for a reason. I also want time with my children and my family. I don't want to be rushed to do anything in the evening. If that doesn't work for families, that's fine. I don't care. It works for 99 percent of the families that I am in the market for and if not.. there are centers around here that are open 6-6:30pm.
There are also 24 hour facilities that are open for the families that are healthcare providers, first responders and community services providers. I get it, I'm not hating on any of those individuals and am happy that we have those that provide those services. But please do not call me if you need hours outside of my 7-5. I will not take you. And I am working on becoming a provider that specializes i teacher care, so you may not call me if you are not a teacher or the like (I like my summers. LOL).
Rockgirl 09:18 AM 07-11-2019
I’m compassionate, but my workday is already ten hours long. That’s just the time children are actually in my care. There’s also the time spent planning, shopping, cleaning, doing required paperwork, and keeping annual trainings up to date. So if I choose not to extend my workday to meet someone else’s needs, I’m not compassionate to their situation? Nah.
Providers who don’t set limits, and always say yes because they feel the need to fill in others’ gaps, are destined for burnout. That’s not healthy for anyone involved. We need compassion, too.
Providers who don’t set limits, and always say yes because they feel the need to fill in others’ gaps, are destined for burnout. That’s not healthy for anyone involved. We need compassion, too.
Unregistered 12:57 PM 01-28-2020
I am a licensed childcare home, I let parent's know yes I can choose to operate within these hours but it does not mean your child can be in care for that amount of time, I have the hours set like this because I do live by several of companies that are open later, 1st shift, second shift and third shift meaning they can choose the time; example 2pm-10pm 30 min total travel time because the jobs are less than 10 mins from me, where as someone who is looking for 7:30-5:30 and work down town they will have 8 hours of care plus and hour travel time 30 mins there and 30 mins back giving them 10 hours of care. I also offer extend care and week-end care.