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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Nap Saga Parents On Their Way Out
clep 07:39 AM 04-19-2013
I have written the termination letter to the parents and will have it to them at the end of the day.
Yesterday their little one slept at rest time as she just couldn't stay awake. She slept for half an hour. According to mom that kept her awake for an hour and a half last night and she is exhausted today. (like she isn't every day)
Mom comes in today with her child throwing a tantrum as usual lately because mom has to go to work. This started about two weeks ago. Mom starts the passive aggressive comments again about how she is like this because she napped here yesterday. Every other day that she doesn't sleep she is still like this at drop off, but the moment mom is gone she is fine. Some days mom is still in view at the top of the stairs and she stops and starts her day of play.
I let mom know I would not coerce her wee one to stay awake and would provide books for her to read at rest time. They agreed, but now if she does rest mom is still on the passive aggressive statements. I am sooooo done.
They are getting their notice at the end of today. Oh it will feel so good to start my days out relaxed instead of stressed.
Yesterday their little one slept at rest time as she just couldn't stay awake. She slept for half an hour. According to mom that kept her awake for an hour and a half last night and she is exhausted today. (like she isn't every day)
Mom comes in today with her child throwing a tantrum as usual lately because mom has to go to work. This started about two weeks ago. Mom starts the passive aggressive comments again about how she is like this because she napped here yesterday. Every other day that she doesn't sleep she is still like this at drop off, but the moment mom is gone she is fine. Some days mom is still in view at the top of the stairs and she stops and starts her day of play.
I let mom know I would not coerce her wee one to stay awake and would provide books for her to read at rest time. They agreed, but now if she does rest mom is still on the passive aggressive statements. I am sooooo done.
They are getting their notice at the end of today. Oh it will feel so good to start my days out relaxed instead of stressed.
Heidi 07:42 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by clep:
I have written the termination letter to the parents and will have it to them at the end of the day.
Yesterday their little one slept at rest time as she just couldn't stay awake. She slept for half an hour. According to mom that kept her awake for an hour and a half last night and she is exhausted today. (like she isn't every day)
Mom comes in today with her child throwing a tantrum as usual lately because mom has to go to work. This started about two weeks ago. Mom starts the passive aggressive comments again about how she is like this because she napped here yesterday. Every other day that she doesn't sleep she is still like this at drop off, but the moment mom is gone she is fine. Some days mom is still in view at the top of the stairs and she stops and starts her day of play.
I let mom know I would not coerce her wee one to stay awake and would provide books for her to read at rest time. They agreed, but now if she does rest mom is still on the passive aggressive statements. I am sooooo done.
They are getting their notice at the end of today. Oh it will feel so good to start my days out relaxed instead of stressed.
Good for you! Maybe this will give me the gumption to deal with my passive/agressive mom. Only supposed to be here 6 more weeks, but now all the sudden, that may change. Too bad I won't have room. I have written the termination letter to the parents and will have it to them at the end of the day.
Yesterday their little one slept at rest time as she just couldn't stay awake. She slept for half an hour. According to mom that kept her awake for an hour and a half last night and she is exhausted today. (like she isn't every day)
Mom comes in today with her child throwing a tantrum as usual lately because mom has to go to work. This started about two weeks ago. Mom starts the passive aggressive comments again about how she is like this because she napped here yesterday. Every other day that she doesn't sleep she is still like this at drop off, but the moment mom is gone she is fine. Some days mom is still in view at the top of the stairs and she stops and starts her day of play.
I let mom know I would not coerce her wee one to stay awake and would provide books for her to read at rest time. They agreed, but now if she does rest mom is still on the passive aggressive statements. I am sooooo done.
They are getting their notice at the end of today. Oh it will feel so good to start my days out relaxed instead of stressed.
Crazy8 07:51 AM 04-19-2013
I've had that same parent here with the same passive aggressive comments.... the funny thing was when I didn't tell them their child napped they claimed they went to sleep no problem at night. I'm not one to lie to parents but I really had to see for myself if it was really an issue. I wish I could have termed but I put up with it for a few months till they left for preschool.
LaLa1923 08:00 AM 04-19-2013
This is bs! I hate when parents say that !! Naps HELP them sleep at night! !
clep 08:02 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
I've had that same parent here with the same passive aggressive comments.... the funny thing was when I didn't tell them their child napped they claimed they went to sleep no problem at night. I'm not one to lie to parents but I really had to see for myself if it was really an issue. I wish I could have termed but I put up with it for a few months till they left for preschool.
It has already been set up here about five months ago for me to drive her daughter to preschool in September with another child. Both of the girls have been here a long time. I am not sure what they are going to do for preschool transportation, but I do know I am not putting up with this for any longer and certainly not until September or after.I've had that same parent here with the same passive aggressive comments.... the funny thing was when I didn't tell them their child napped they claimed they went to sleep no problem at night. I'm not one to lie to parents but I really had to see for myself if it was really an issue. I wish I could have termed but I put up with it for a few months till they left for preschool.
I thought of doing that very thing, but I figure if I feel the need to lie to prove my point, the situation has probably been exasperated. I really love this family, but with dad as a child psychologist he is determined day home is the issue. Wonder what they will do when I am no longer a scapegoat for the child's increasing poor behavior.
Dad sits in the car every morning when mom drops off. She is fine if dad drops off but they don't go that route.
clep 08:03 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Good for you! Maybe this will give me the gumption to deal with my passive/agressive mom. Only supposed to be here 6 more weeks, but now all the sudden, that may change. Too bad I won't have room.
Look after yourself and your sanity. It isn't easily replaced. Good for you! Maybe this will give me the gumption to deal with my passive/agressive mom. Only supposed to be here 6 more weeks, but now all the sudden, that may change. Too bad I won't have room.
Mom&Provider 08:04 AM 04-19-2013
Oh yes....the my child won't sleep because she/he has a nap at daycare comments!
I have a DCG that NEEDS a nap, but I was asked some time ago not to let her (she just turned 3), since she wasn't sleeping at night/going to bed on time. She falls asleep at my kitchen table during afternoon snack at least 3x's a week! If I let her, she'd sleep till Mom comes which is at least 45 mins. from the time we sit down to have a snack...tired?? I think so! I stopped giving her a nap since I was asked, but apparently she melts down at home during the evening and from what I understand her Dad has to wake her up in the morning to get ready...tired?? I think so!!
I wonder what your DCG's bedtime routine is like. Always the same time? Is it relaxing or rushed? Sometimes kids are OVER tired and thus all the melt downs and emotional issues they go through every day...just my 2 cents!
GL with your term tonight...
I have a DCG that NEEDS a nap, but I was asked some time ago not to let her (she just turned 3), since she wasn't sleeping at night/going to bed on time. She falls asleep at my kitchen table during afternoon snack at least 3x's a week! If I let her, she'd sleep till Mom comes which is at least 45 mins. from the time we sit down to have a snack...tired?? I think so! I stopped giving her a nap since I was asked, but apparently she melts down at home during the evening and from what I understand her Dad has to wake her up in the morning to get ready...tired?? I think so!!
I wonder what your DCG's bedtime routine is like. Always the same time? Is it relaxing or rushed? Sometimes kids are OVER tired and thus all the melt downs and emotional issues they go through every day...just my 2 cents!
GL with your term tonight...
clep 08:16 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by Mom&Provider:
Oh yes....the my child won't sleep because she/he has a nap at daycare comments!
I have a DCG that NEEDS a nap, but I was asked some time ago not to let her (she just turned 3), since she wasn't sleeping at night/going to bed on time. She falls asleep at my kitchen table during afternoon snack at least 3x's a week! If I let her, she'd sleep till Mom comes which is at least 45 mins. from the time we sit down to have a snack...tired?? I think so! I stopped giving her a nap since I was asked, but apparently she melts down at home during the evening and from what I understand her Dad has to wake her up in the morning to get ready...tired?? I think so!!
I wonder what your DCG's bedtime routine is like. Always the same time? Is it relaxing or rushed? Sometimes kids are OVER tired and thus all the melt downs and emotional issues they go through every day...just my 2 cents!
GL with your term tonight...
We have gone through the bedtime routine. It is a power struggle every night unless she sleeps right away due to complete exhaustion. This child is over tired. She spends Wednesdays with mom and comes in every Monday and Thursday more exhausted than usual. We have talked it out until we are blue in the face. She just needs parents with gentle consistent boundaries. Her behavior is becoming over the top with mom. I would hate to be the new provider.Oh yes....the my child won't sleep because she/he has a nap at daycare comments!
I have a DCG that NEEDS a nap, but I was asked some time ago not to let her (she just turned 3), since she wasn't sleeping at night/going to bed on time. She falls asleep at my kitchen table during afternoon snack at least 3x's a week! If I let her, she'd sleep till Mom comes which is at least 45 mins. from the time we sit down to have a snack...tired?? I think so! I stopped giving her a nap since I was asked, but apparently she melts down at home during the evening and from what I understand her Dad has to wake her up in the morning to get ready...tired?? I think so!!
I wonder what your DCG's bedtime routine is like. Always the same time? Is it relaxing or rushed? Sometimes kids are OVER tired and thus all the melt downs and emotional issues they go through every day...just my 2 cents!
GL with your term tonight...
MarinaVanessa 08:58 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by clep:
I have written the termination letter to the parents and will have it to them at the end of the day.
Yesterday their little one slept at rest time as she just couldn't stay awake. She slept for half an hour. According to mom that kept her awake for an hour and a half last night and she is exhausted today. (like she isn't every day)
Mom comes in today with her child throwing a tantrum as usual lately because mom has to go to work. This started about two weeks ago. Mom starts the passive aggressive comments again about how she is like this because she napped here yesterday. Every other day that she doesn't sleep she is still like this at drop off, but the moment mom is gone she is fine. Some days mom is still in view at the top of the stairs and she stops and starts her day of play.
I let mom know I would not coerce her wee one to stay awake and would provide books for her to read at rest time. They agreed, but now if she does rest mom is still on the passive aggressive statements. I am sooooo done.
They are getting their notice at the end of today. Oh it will feel so good to start my days out relaxed instead of stressed.
I think you are doing the right thing for yourself and for them. They are needing something that you just can't accommodate without the DCM becoming upset. Honestly I think that it depends on the child (some children just grow out of naps while others continue to need them) but in many cases it's just the DCP's techniques or lack of at home that cause the problems. Honestly, parenting and caring for children is NOT EASY, I don't see why there are so many parents that are afraid to get their hands dirty and put in some more effort when disciplining their children.I have written the termination letter to the parents and will have it to them at the end of the day.
Yesterday their little one slept at rest time as she just couldn't stay awake. She slept for half an hour. According to mom that kept her awake for an hour and a half last night and she is exhausted today. (like she isn't every day)
Mom comes in today with her child throwing a tantrum as usual lately because mom has to go to work. This started about two weeks ago. Mom starts the passive aggressive comments again about how she is like this because she napped here yesterday. Every other day that she doesn't sleep she is still like this at drop off, but the moment mom is gone she is fine. Some days mom is still in view at the top of the stairs and she stops and starts her day of play.
I let mom know I would not coerce her wee one to stay awake and would provide books for her to read at rest time. They agreed, but now if she does rest mom is still on the passive aggressive statements. I am sooooo done.
They are getting their notice at the end of today. Oh it will feel so good to start my days out relaxed instead of stressed.
My 8yo DD comes home early on Fridays and naps with the DCK's most days and even when she gets here Mon-Thurs on regular times (after the DCK's have already napped) she may lay down and nap for 1hr to 3 hrs. I let her because she knows that even if she sleeps from 2:30-5:30pm she is going to bed at 8:30 like usual ... she doesn't get to pull the "I'm not tired" card. She'd better lay down and she'd better sleep if there is school the next day. If I have to remind her a million times or if she throws a fit (ADHD child so it's common with her sometimes) then so be it. I'm the parent. It's my responsibility. I WOULD NEVER HAVE BLAMED SOMEONE ELSE ESPECIALLY MY CHILD CARE PROVIDER OF MY CHILD NOT SLEEPING. If I can get my DD to bed on time after taking a 3 hour nap then your DCP can get her 3yo to bed
.And just one more for good measure
mnemom 10:49 AM 04-19-2013
DCB is either crabby at pickup because he napped, didn't nap long enough, or must not have really slept. It is never because he is testing his mom at pickup.
This is of course according to mom.
This is of course according to mom.
Mom&Provider 11:10 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I think you are doing the right thing for yourself and for them. They are needing something that you just can't accommodate without the DCM becoming upset. Honestly I think that it depends on the child (some children just grow out of naps while others continue to need them) but in many cases it's just the DCP's techniques or lack of at home that cause the problems. Honestly, parenting and caring for children is NOT EASY, I don't see why there are so many parents that are afraid to get their hands dirty and put in some more effort when disciplining their children.
I think you are doing the right thing for yourself and for them. They are needing something that you just can't accommodate without the DCM becoming upset. Honestly I think that it depends on the child (some children just grow out of naps while others continue to need them) but in many cases it's just the DCP's techniques or lack of at home that cause the problems. Honestly, parenting and caring for children is NOT EASY, I don't see why there are so many parents that are afraid to get their hands dirty and put in some more effort when disciplining their children.
This is exactly it. By not napping little Susie at daycare, DCP's often deal with a meltdown in the evening at some point, but that just means little Susie goes to bed early which is a win to them since they aren't forced to find something to do with their kids or "get their hands dirty".
itlw8 11:44 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by clep:
Look after yourself and your sanity. It isn't easily replaced.
Look after yourself and your sanity. It isn't easily replaced.
I need to blow that up and post it on the wall of the childcare. It would be good for me and my dcp. They are all great but others stress them.
TheGoodLife 11:47 AM 04-19-2013
Good luck in the termination! 
I have it in my contract that all children in my care are required to have nap or quiet time and that I cannot wake them if they are asleep (although I can't promise quiet after nap, either!). I just got done with my 1st week with a 5 year old that doesn't nap and he did GREAT!! Even napped yesterday (mom said she caught him up watching his TV the night before and he would probably be tired) for about 1 1/2 hours! I was so worried since I've always had nappers so far.
I have it in my contract that all children in my care are required to have nap or quiet time and that I cannot wake them if they are asleep (although I can't promise quiet after nap, either!). I just got done with my 1st week with a 5 year old that doesn't nap and he did GREAT!! Even napped yesterday (mom said she caught him up watching his TV the night before and he would probably be tired) for about 1 1/2 hours! I was so worried since I've always had nappers so far.
Lyss 03:18 PM 04-19-2013
Just checking in to see how DCM took the term!
clep 02:11 AM 04-20-2013
I left them their termination notice, tax receipt and post dates cheques in an envelope for them. Their last day was to be May 31. They prepaid for their last month so I let them know I would apply that payment to the month of May.
I was gone taking my son to Cadets so my employee let them know I left them an envelope. She tells me they went upstairs, for the note and then came downstairs and colleted the child's things from her cubby and left without saying a word to her.
Looks like they gave up the last month and a half of care and walked. I feel bad for the little one who won't get her going away party or to even say goodbye to her friends she has made for the last couple of years. So many parents just don't think of their children when they make decisions based upon their feelings for the moment.
I was gone taking my son to Cadets so my employee let them know I left them an envelope. She tells me they went upstairs, for the note and then came downstairs and colleted the child's things from her cubby and left without saying a word to her.
Looks like they gave up the last month and a half of care and walked. I feel bad for the little one who won't get her going away party or to even say goodbye to her friends she has made for the last couple of years. So many parents just don't think of their children when they make decisions based upon their feelings for the moment.
Laurel 09:32 AM 04-20-2013
Originally Posted by clep:
I left them their termination notice, tax receipt and post dates cheques in an envelope for them. Their last day was to be May 31. They prepaid for their last month so I let them know I would apply that payment to the month of May.
I was gone taking my son to Cadets so my employee let them know I left them an envelope. She tells me they went upstairs, for the note and then came downstairs and colleted the child's things from her cubby and left without saying a word to her.
Looks like they gave up the last month and a half of care and walked. I feel bad for the little one who won't get her going away party or to even say goodbye to her friends she has made for the last couple of years. So many parents just don't think of their children when they make decisions based upon their feelings for the moment.
What did the note say? Did you give a reason?I left them their termination notice, tax receipt and post dates cheques in an envelope for them. Their last day was to be May 31. They prepaid for their last month so I let them know I would apply that payment to the month of May.
I was gone taking my son to Cadets so my employee let them know I left them an envelope. She tells me they went upstairs, for the note and then came downstairs and colleted the child's things from her cubby and left without saying a word to her.
Looks like they gave up the last month and a half of care and walked. I feel bad for the little one who won't get her going away party or to even say goodbye to her friends she has made for the last couple of years. So many parents just don't think of their children when they make decisions based upon their feelings for the moment.
I'm asking because I've never termed anyone before although I should have with one or two of my families.
Laurel
clep 04:55 PM 04-21-2013
Originally Posted by Laurel:
What did the note say? Did you give a reason?
I'm asking because I've never termed anyone before although I should have with one or two of my families.
Laurel
Yes, I gave them the reason. I just let them know basically that their passive aggressive comments and the chaos the situation has caused are not how I want to start my day every day. They have obviously outgrown my program and it is time to find care elsewhere. I didn't put it that mean or blunt, but it was direct and they are are aware it is non compromise-able. What did the note say? Did you give a reason?
I'm asking because I've never termed anyone before although I should have with one or two of my families.
Laurel
I haven't always provided a reason in the past. It depends on the situation.
AmyKidsCo 06:30 PM 04-21-2013
I just blame licensing regulations - they say that all children under 5 MUST lie down for a nap every day. 
I hope your next family is more supportive of you!
I hope your next family is more supportive of you!
clep 09:23 PM 04-21-2013
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
I just blame licensing regulations - they say that all children under 5 MUST lie down for a nap every day.
I hope your next family is more supportive of you!
Where I live, there are no regulations at all regarding rest/nap times. I could have a baby up all day if I wanted to. I just blame licensing regulations - they say that all children under 5 MUST lie down for a nap every day.
I hope your next family is more supportive of you!
I don't blame it on anyone. Their child lives exhausted and as a provider who's first priority is the well being of the children in my care, I am not about to not allow a child to rest that really needs it. I don't excuse that, I just state it. 
Laurel 04:17 AM 04-22-2013
Originally Posted by clep:
Yes, I gave them the reason. I just let them know basically that their passive aggressive comments and the chaos the situation has caused are not how I want to start my day every day. They have obviously outgrown my program and it is time to find care elsewhere. I didn't put it that mean or blunt, but it was direct and they are are aware it is non compromise-able.
I haven't always provided a reason in the past. It depends on the situation.
Well it was good that they knew the exact reason. Maybe it will make them stop and think what they say at the next place.Yes, I gave them the reason. I just let them know basically that their passive aggressive comments and the chaos the situation has caused are not how I want to start my day every day. They have obviously outgrown my program and it is time to find care elsewhere. I didn't put it that mean or blunt, but it was direct and they are are aware it is non compromise-able.
I haven't always provided a reason in the past. It depends on the situation.
Laurel
countrymom 06:32 AM 04-22-2013
good for you. I have a good one for you. I have had dck for 4 yrs now. Last year parents didn't want me to nap dck, stating that they don't want to go to sleep blah blah (the kid was 3 yrs old) well, dck now goes to preschool 3 days a week and all the kids nap, now mom wants me to nap dck the 2 days that dck is here. Well, that doesn't work so I know dck goes home cranky these days, but I can't go playing around with crazy nap times.