Right now my child asked to go and play at a neighbor's house, and I told him go ahead. The others are now pouting and trying to argue that it "isn't fair" because they don't get to go too. My opinion is, it's my house and my child, so it's perfectly fair, and none of their beeswax at that.

I also have a hard time when mine want a different snack than everyone else. I try to avoid this when I can, but at the same time...it's THEIR house.

What do you all think?

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My kids do get special privileges. I think it's hard enough to share their house, let alone not be able to do things they want that daycare can't.
I plan on getting a large above ground pool for my kids this summer. I am dreading the daily arguments I'm going to have from the dck's, but I'm tired of telling my kids they can't have one because of daycare. We are going to fence off a portion of the yard and let them have one.
If they want a different snack, i let them. If they want to go downstairs and watch tv they can. If they want to go for a walk, more power to them!

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I used to try really hard to make everything "even" and you know what? I found that it was almost always my own kids that were sacrificing in this. Now I'm over it. Sometimes my kids do get a special treat or some thing different but thats just the way it is here. Its their house and their mom and things ARE different, no matter what way you try and slice it. Overall, the same rules apply to everyone but I don't feel bad if my own kids get an exception every now and then.

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I guess it wouldn't really be so bad if I didn't have one that would argue with the side of a house. "But WHY can't we? Why? Why? WHY? But can't I just..."

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Yep, I tell my dcp at the interview that part of the beauty of this job is I am home with my own kids and they come first. My older kids can carry on as if daycare isn't even here. They (and their friends) do not count in my ratio so they can come and go as they please and they can go wherever they want in the house. My younger kids are a little more on daycare rules, but that is just because they require a lot more supervision from me. However, if two children are crying at the same time and I have to take care of it seperately, my child is coming first.

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I WISH my kids could "go and play at a neighbor's house".

We couldn't treat our daycare kids like our own if we wanted to. The rules for the daycare kids are based on the fact that we are caring for someone else's kids.

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I do my best to treat everyone fairly, and daycare kids honestly become like family. So most is ok.

DH loves walking in and giving sugar garbage, and so I told him if he's doing that, the dck's can't see it. That means they don't know about it. Mine get to go bike ride, etc.

As long as it's not teasing the dck's I don't see anthing wrong with it. If I decide to give mine a special treat it's usually when the dcks are napping or gone home.

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I do.

My kids did not ask for me to have a daycare here in our home. I don't ever want them to feel any more of resent towards it. As long as they are NOT in my DC room, I don't really care what my older two do.

FOr my 3.5 year old, I let him have special things that the others dont. IF he does not want to participate in class, I will let him play with his trains in the front room outside of the daycare. If he had to alawys be under daycare rules, he would be in daycare for more than 55 hours a week. I just don't think that would be fair...

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I wouldn't feel guilty at all...my kids aren't in daycare....they are at home and they act accordingly....and rightfully so!!!

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I wouldn't feel at all guilty about that.

If someone wanted to come pick up a daycare kid for a birthday party, or to go see Disney on Ice, it wouldn't be "unfair" to let him or her go...They wouldn't even consider asking your kids to go.. so, why would it be unfair for your kids to go somewhere?

I think kids just get jealous, and it feels unfair. Until it's them that gets to go somewhere fun.

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Yes, my DD gets special privileges. She gets to play out of my sight. She gets to play outside alone during naptime. She gets to eat whatever she wants during naptime (well, within reason, but she does get treats and things then). She gets to watch TV during naptime. She can come upstairs to the kitchen and have certain things (that she can help herself to). She gets to leave on play dates with cousins or go somewhere special with DH. Her room is ABSOLUTELY off limits--a fact that I protect FOR her with an iron fist.

Like others said. She didn't ask me for this, and I'm doing the daycare partially so that I can be here for her, be the parent I want to be, and give her the life I wanted to give her.

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Yep, my boys (6 & 8) no longer have to be a part of any of the daycare doings at all if they choose not to. We homeschool so when they are done with all their work they can go outside, watch tv, go down and play in their bedroom, etc.
My dd is 3 so she still does the majority of the daycare time, but she doesn't have to take a nap and can stay up and play with her brothers or watch cartoons. I don't let her outside with her brothers when the daycare kids are here unless we are all out, because our licensing says our kids are daycare kids when we are in daycare hours. I do let her play out with her brothers when all the daycare kids are gone.

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really they consider them part of your DC? That stinks.. my 15 year old takes my 3 yr old on bike rides to the local park all of the time. Some times the 3year old even gets to play baseball/stick ball with the rest of the neighbor hood kids as long as my 15 year old is with him. There is usually a mom or dad out there that I know so I don't mind it. None of the DC parents have even said anything about it. I am sure they have seen my bous out riding bikes or playing with the other kids....

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Absolutely!!!!! (and I don't feel bad about it in the least...)

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Yup, they can go wherever they want in the house, my 2 older boys school age can go play at the neighbors, ride bikes in the street we live on a culdsec, my 3 year old has to be more in daycare because I need to keep a closer eye on her but she doesnt have to nap, eat the same lunch, breakfest, or snack the daycare kids eat, and go play in her room when she wants too.

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My kids have their own rooms that they play in, and the dck's are not allowed to go. My older DD7 can go outside whenever she wants to and gets extra snacks at naptime, if she is hungry. My kids don't get treats when the dck's are here and awake though, it feels like teasing to me. We save special treats for after the dck's go home. DD2 is much more a part of the daycare than her older sister, and she can't go outside without me (not because licensing says she can't, but I say she can't).

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Oh yes...before my kids went to grade school they counted in my numbers. So back then they didn't get special privileges....they were in my daycare.

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I guess the biggest challenge here is that though mine are old enough to go down the street to play, ride bikes, etc...it isn't a matter of older kids vs. toddlers for me. My SA's are all about the same age.

I'm glad to hear that others do this too. Not that I felt bad about it before, but it's nice to know I'm not completely mean!

Oh, and I realize that I misspelled "privileges" - any way to change that?

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my son accounts for my numbers as well, but he does not have to stay at the daycare or participate in what the dck do.

My husband often takes him to the golf range or chuckie cheese...

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since my youngest is 7 he pretty much gets to go and do what he wants and my oldest childcare child is three so its not an issue here I no longer do SA for this very reason

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The way I care for my son and how I care for dck's is completely different. I wish I could allow the freedom and lifestyle my son has to the kids. It would be wonderful to be able to do that.

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We aren't allowed to leave them unsupervised so there's no going down the street to play. My State would close me down if I allowed a kid to go off property or even outside without an adult with them at all times... all the way to age twelve.

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I'm the odd ball out...once again. My girls are the same age (4) as the rest of the dcks and to be honest I am probably harder on them then the other kids because I expect more from them.

Unfortunately in my city we don't have access to our 2nd floor for childcare and that is where their bedroom is. So even if they wanted to go and play in their room alone I wouldn't be allowed to let them.

I think sometimes they may wish they had me all to themselves but they really love their friends and I choose children for the childcare with them in mind. It's usually Saturday night or early Sunday when they start asking "is tomorrow a school day...I want to see my friends".

I'm sure things will change as they get older but for now it works and they are doing great with all our "school" activities and have never asked to be excluded.

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Your OWN children? No offense ladies, but I'm adding this to my list of reasons not to pursue a license. No one is going to tell me what I can and cannot let my own child do in my own house.

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Well my girls are still young but once they get to a certain age they would be allowed to be on the 2nd floor. The thing is in Texas you pretty much have to be registered or licensed if you want to do this as a career. You can't watch any unrelated children w/o something and you can get listed (very easy process) and watch 3. To watch over 3 you'd have to deal with licensing if you want to be legal.

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That's too bad. Here we can have 5 unrelated children w/o a license.

I'm not knocking those of you who ARE licensed. I applaud you for it, actually. I'd be able to take on more kids/make more money if I did it, but it just isn't for me.

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Oh yes, I'm sure my licensor would get snippy if she knew I led my dd3 go play downstairs when she wants to. (She won't go down alone, only when her brothers are down there.) The daycare kids have no access to the downstairs, but the licensor wrote me a correction because the bathroom down there had a garbage with no cover on it. I told her the dckids never go down to the basement, but she asked if my kids are ever down there and that while I am doing daycare, my kids are daycare kids.

Just one of the many reasons I will not be doing licensed care after this summer. We can only watch one family without a license here in MN.

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Not my own kid. He's been playing outside by himself since he was two plus in our backyard and fiveish out in my front. He was about seven when I let him go all the way up and down the street.

My kid only counted till age five BUT I didn't have to follow regs for him that I know of. They would have been up for a battle if they would have required me to adhere to dc rules for my kid.

I didn't comply to 99 percent of them with him. He's home. He's with me.

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My kids are NOT a part of the daycare. They can do what they would normally do. My 5 year old goes in the yard with the dog and the other kids see him and ask why. BC he is allowed and you are not. My 2.5 year old daughter goes in her room to play or watches a show in the living room if she wants. If my kids want a different snack, they can have it. Its their home, I'm their mom - no other reasons needed.

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Maybe it's a state thing but I couldn't let my kids outside alone...if state came they would cite me for it. As far as the state is concerned they are part of the daycare so to avoid getting citations they follow the same rules and have never asked to do their own thing.

Also for me I would feel bad giving my kids special snacks in front of the dcks or letting them watch tv in a different room, etc. I just look at it from the parent's point of view. If my kid went to daycare somewhere I wouldn't want their provider doing those things for their children in front of my kids. If it's in private where the other dcks don't see or notice that's fine but to do it right in front of them...just don't think that's fair.

That's just me though.

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I remember being in daycare when I was a child and thinking how spoiled my daycare lady's kids were. They went into the fridge at will and pulled out snacks all day. They could leave the table without asking to be excused. They were honestly downright rude to everyone and I couldn't stand them.

I keep that in mind when I do daycare. My kids are 5 and 3, so they're a part of the daycare. I keep pretty much the same rules for them simply because I want them to learn manners and how to socialize with other kids. I don't want them walking around "owning the place."

That being said, I let them go into their room if they want some time to themselves. If they want any daycare kids in their rooms, they need to give permission first. They can have access to their toys at any time as long as they keep them in their rooms and I don't let the dck's play with my own kids' toys.

When they're older and SA I'm sure I'll be more lax on the rules in regards to snacks and things because then they won't be a true part of my daycare, because I don't take SA. They'll still count in my numbers, but they can have more leeway.

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mine are free to play with the daycare kids along as they obey the daycare rooms if they don't then they can go to their rooms or the living room or outside. my son has played out front with friends many time or went to friends house no problem

fyi in my state if i get parent signatures i can let SA kids go to a park, friends house, swiming pool with out me

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I don't let my DD eat/drink "other" things in front of the dcks...those are reserved for during nap time (she doesn't nap). Mostly, we have "daycare rules" wherein she knows that she has to obey a certain set of rules when daycare kids are here and awake. Even at 3 she's pretty good at "getting" the distinction and the different set of rules. She's better with daycare rules than the daycare kids are, lol.

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This is definitely my plan too. I don't take SAs and don't plan on doing that in the future either. So when mine are in school things will be a bit more laid back as far as the rules.

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I for sure treat my children different but my two oldest are 17 and 12 and the daycare kids are in the 2-3 year old range so my kids wouldn't appreciate being treated like little kids at all.

My youngest is 3 and he does play with the dck. It's so good for him to have a group of peers b/c there are 10 years between he and his brother. And I love it that I get to be with him and supervise him. He still does get some privilages though. Like if we get new toys he can put them in my bedroom for a while until he feels like he wants to share them. He shares 99.9% of his toys so I don't care that sometimes he wants something special for him. He very quickly ends up bringing those toys out anyway b/c he has figured out that sharing is more fun.

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I think there's a difference between letting them do extra things and allowing them to be rude and nasty to the DCK's. I'd never let mine get away with not using their manners, and they always have to ask before having a snack. I make sure that they understand that it's a "privilege" and not a "right". KWIM?

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I get what Zoe is saying and I think at age 3, 4, 5 they just can't understand why they are eating saltines and water while the provider's kids are snacking on chocolate chip cookies and ice cream. It's not that they are being mean to the dcks it's just that from the dcks' perspective they are being spoiled by being allowed to have better/different snacks in front of them.

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Absolutely! I think my own perspective was that I didn't think it was fair that they got this stuff. But furthermore, these kids really were rude and I would never let my own kids act that way. If they weren't so bratty, maybe I would have seen things differently.

I agree, it's a privilege for them as the kids who live here. As long as my children are polite, then I don't mind it when they want to go play with their own toys.

I'm kinda distracted today so if I'm not making myself clear, I apologize!

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I agree. My son didnt ask for me to do daycare so I make consessions on stuff for him b/c he already has to share all his toys, his mom etc. His room is OFF LIMITS to everyone and he can choose to play in their on his own when ever he wants. Sometimes he brings toys from his room to share with his friends but it on his terms.

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Sure! I can see that. Do you think, though, that it's unrealistic of me to expect grade schoolers to understand why they get to do other things and to NOT argue with me about it? I guess that was part of my original concern.

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Sometimes I think school-agers complain just to complain. When I taught elementary school, I heard "That's not fair" WAY too much. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

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No I totally get that too. I was more referring to the children that are younger...not yet in school (the 2 - 5 crowd).

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I am not licensed, so no state to worry about. So my son can do as he pleases and go in the yard at my say so.

I tend to worry more about my own kids perception of fair than a clients. Is it fair my kids have to share their toys, their home, and their mom with other kids? Nope. They didn't choose this life. This is a job I CHOSE to benefit my family. If I treat my kids as daycare kids, what is the point of me staying home and raising them myself? They can get equal and fair treatment at a daycare. This is their home, they get special allowances that children who don't live here get. THAT is what is fair to my kids.

Because the way I see it is that they deal with a lot of "unfair" things too. I can't drop everything and go on a vacation. I would lose clients. But my daycare kids all go on week long family vacations. Kids break their toys. Kids get hugs and kisses from THEIR mommy. It's not fair to MY kids and at the end of the day, any little thing I can do to make it a bit easier or more enjoyable for them is a bonus bc they are so tolerant of these kids in their home.

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I understand wanting to stay at home and raise your children but to treat DC as second class while they are in your home is very upsetting to me.

Anyone who is just watching 'extra kids' so they can stay home with their own perfect children is in the wrong business.

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I'm sorry. Did I say I treated the daycare children as "second class?" I think you need to check your reading comprehension.

What upsets you? Me giving my child a Nutri-Grain bar instead of fruit that I have planned for the daycare kids? My son is 5 -- older than the other kids by 1.5 years minimum.

He doesn't snack with the daycare kids at all. So should I wake them all from their naps and have them eat a Nutri-Grain bar to make things fair? Or should I make my 5 year old sit inside while I change diapers, do potty time, and feed them lunch in the name of fairness?

Just because I make special concessions for my own children doesn't make it mean or rude and it certainly isn't upsetting.

And by the way, I don't think my kids are perfect -- far from it. But it is not my job to raise the daycare kids. They are guests in my home. I treat them with love, kindness, and respect. At the end of the day, I wash my hands of them. My kids have a right to have a mom who loves them and shows it everyday -- not just when all the kids are gone.

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JenNJ --Nowhere in my post did I say I was refering directly to you. If I was speaking directly to you I would have quoted your post.

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I think I'll just agree to disagree on this one. I don't think my girls see anything unfair about staying home with me and participating in the daily childcare activities. Everyone gets love around here all day long...my kids AND the dcks. When you wrote "if I treat my kids as daycare kids what's the point of me staying home" I was a little thrown off because if you ask my daycare kids I bet they would say they are treated pretty well...fed well, played with, loved on, exercised, so to be honest my kids love to be treated like the daycare kids.

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I apologize. I thought you were directing it towards me.

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I can't find where anyone said anything about treating the DCK's as second class. You can still treat all the kids in a caring, loving way. If I have a group of kids, and my own say "I want to play in my room", and their room happens to be in a non DC area of the house...I think they should be allowed to play in there if they want, regardless of the fact that the kids in the DC aren't allowed to. If they want an apple from the fridge, I shouldn't have to fork out 5 more apples when they're 6 bucks a bag, just to keep things "fair" -especially when everyone else already ate bananas. If my 10.5 year old wants to go outside and play at the neighbor's house, he's my child, so why shouldn't he go, especially when everyone else has the option to play with the MANY activities/toys that I have for them here? That doesn't make them second class. It's just the fact that these are my own kids and the rest are someone else's kids. Now, on the other hand, I wouldn't give the others saltines and my own ice cream - I try to keep things reasonable.

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This is exactly why I decided to get a backbone and have no sa's this summer. My daughter is 12 and does her own thing and my son is 7 and spends most free time running around the neighborhood with his buddies. Our backyards all face each other so the 3 other mom's and I can all keep an eye on them. It's just too hard to tell other sa's they have to stay in my yard and listen to how unfair it is!

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My daycare children are treated great. They never want to leave. They get care and love like my kids do.

What I am trying to say is that if I wanted my kids to be in daycare setting, I would have found a job outside the home and put them in daycare. They participate when they want to (which is a good percentage of the time). If they don't want to, they do their own thing. I can't give that option to my daycare kids bc it isn't what their parents signed on for. Their parents signed on for daycare -- my kids didn't. I don't have the ability to cater to everyone's personal preferences. Again -- it's not what the parents signed on for. But I do have the ability to cater to my kids now and again, so I do.

We do special treats for the entire daycare for holidays and birthdays, but I know my clients would be angry if I was handing their kids cookies and candy everyday instead of the healthy snacks I promise. And I would end up in jail if I sent the kids outside alone like I do my son. As a mom, I can indulge him that way -- not an option with the dc kids.

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I don't know why (maybe bc it is Friday, or bc it is cold and rainy here) I am having a hard time putting all of my thougths into words today.

The short story is....

I think every child 5 and under should be treated exactly as all the DCKs are. snack, activities, toys, ect. Yes, I stand by the fact that I think anything less is treating DCK 'second class'

SA children should be given more freedom to have alone time and friend time....but when in the same space as DC should follow all of the same rules.

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I agree with this 100%.

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My kids are 4 and 2 (my baby is 2 on Monday!). I do not allow special priveleges. I expect them to be part of the daycare in every way. Yes they are here 45-50 hours a week (sometimes my DH gets home first and will "pick them up" before I am done), but they are here with me so I don't see it as the same as being away from their parents 45-50 hours a week. I treat everyone the same during daycare hours and allow the special treats/activities in the evenings and on the weekends. I want it to be "fair" in every way, and my kids don't mind doing it.

While I love being home with my own kids and chose the career with this in mind, I do not feel like I need to give my kids special priveleges. I think they can do as the other daycare kids do during daycare hours, which keeps it fair and avoids any resentment toward my own children. When they are older and not the same age as my dcks, I am sure I will feel differently and allow them more freedom.

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My children are older and this does not apply to me but when they were young and spent time with me at daycare, I think I expected more from them than the dck's. I was probably harder on them when they participated in a group activity that ended with a bad behavior because I KNEW my kids knew better. I KNEW I raised them to follow rules and not talk back or test my boundaries. I had higher expectations for their behaviors than any of the daycare kids because I KNEW the way they were raised.

I understand what some of you are saying when you bring up the fact that your children didn't ask for daycare in their home but YOU are the parent and YOU decided that for your child so it wasn't like an unfortunate accident. If you have your own children in your home during daycare, they have an advantage that the dck's don't have...THEIR MOTHER present with them all day.

That is an advantage that IMHO far outweighs their choice in what to have for snack or what toys they can and cannot play with during busness hours. Your own kids don't have get up early and be dropped off at someone else's house for the day, they don't have to miss their parent during the day, they don't have to be away from their safe place (home) at all. They can nap in their own beds, play in their own yards and go their own mom when they need or want a hug.

I think that having to share a few toys, follow a few rules and abide by general group norms are all a small price to pay for the things they do gain.

As a parent, I took my own kids out of a daycare where the provider choose to allow her child to act the way he wanted, say the things he wanted and behave the way he wanted because after all, it was his home and he shouldn't have to follow daycare rules in his own homes just because they have a mom who does daycare. The providers son was only 5 but I know for a fact he used that info to his advantage every chance he got.....even though the provider denied ever seeing any proof of it.

I would never have given my own kids a snack, privilege or set of guidlines to follow that were in any way different than the dck's. I am only open for 10 hours per day so I really didn't think that was too long of a period of time for my kids to have to abide by daycare rules since it was excellent preparation for their school years and would have been the same had they gone to someone else's house for daycare...except then, they wouldn't have had that one gigantic advantage of their own mother present for every minute of that 10 hour day.

So I treat every single one of the children (biological, blood-related, cash paying and state assisted) in my home during daycare hours equally with the exception of a bit harsher punishment for those related to me

DISCLAIMER: I am not saying anyone should or shouldn't run their daycares and their homes in any particular manner. I am simply stating my opinion and how I viewed things when this situation did apply to me. I may have felt differently then compared to now but I also let parents get away with a lot of things back then that I would never let fly now so....

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This thread is taking an all-or-nothing turn, with providers on both sides. I don't think it has to be that way. I'm all for our own kids having to follow DC rules - in fact, I teach my own that it's their responsibility to be a good example for the others, and to help me show them what the rules and routine are.

I don't think they should be able to act however they want or say whatever they want. I agree with you, Blackcat, in that I'm more strict on my own, for the reasons I stated above.

All I'm saying is that I don't think it's a big deal to let my own kid play at the neighbor's house.

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Something like this is exactly what I was trying say but couldnt get the words out today.

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I think that the right answer truly depends on the age of your own child. If they are under 5 then I can see how they should be treated the same way. However once they reach Kindergarten and older they should be encouraged to have their own social lives and play next door, up the block or in their own rooms. To me, that would be the difference in how I treat my own vs the dck's.

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I think this thread goes along with the other one that was posted recently about "How much weight does your child carry". These in my eyes go hand in hand because the children will say "I don't like the daycare children here for......" and it can be because they are treated like a daycare child. If they do get privileges that the daycare doesn't they have to go off and hide to do it. I know I've told my own-go eat that in your room so they don't see you.: I think doing childcare is a double edge sword-you get to stay home with your child but you still don't have that freedom of being a stay at home mom. Your still working so even though you are staying home you are bound by rules and such. I hope that makes sense, my head is plugged with a cold so it makes sense to me but maybe not others.

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I totally agree and this is what I do with my own kids who are both school age. My youngest WAS one of the DCK's until she started school. I treat them all like my little darlings so she never felt left out. Heck...most of them call me Mama or Mom when they start to talk. I break that one quickly though. I don't want the real mama's to feel upset about it.

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We have "daycare kids" and "daycare rules" around here, and everyone (my own kids and the dc kids) know what those mean. My 3yo dd is allowed to leave the playroom whenever she wants. When any of the dc kids objects, they know it's because she's not a daycare kid, she lives here. We have a set of rules in place for daycare hours. If dc kids are around, dc rules must be followed. But, if my kids are in the backyard, and the dc kids are inside, daycare rules no longer apply in the backyard .

But, it also helps that we have dedicated daycare toys & space. Any other toys brought into the playroom must pass the choke hazard test and they must be taken back out of the playroom when my dd is done sharing them. If my own kids have snacks, they need to eat them downstairs or somewhere the dc kids can't see them.

There is one exception to that rule though -- I've been baking cookies during naptime for the past couple of years, so that my sons have fresh chocolate chip cookies waiting for them when they get home from school (while I'm in the backyard with the dc kids). For the longest time I've made sure the dc kids didn't see them at all, because I thought they would complain about not getting them too. But in the last couple of months, the dc kids have started mentioning the fact that my kids get cookies, but that's okay because they get treats at their houses too . We have dc snack at about the same time and they've never once asked to have a choc chip cookie like the boys do. So I don't keep them hidden anymore .

Thing is, I think kids are much smarter than we give them credit for. They know quite well that they get special privileges and treats at their own houses. I think as long as we teach our own kids to behave and not make a big deal about what they get to do, the dc kids will understand.

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You're lucky, I'm being called "grandma" quite often now .

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My kids (6 & 4) are allowed to ride their bikes in the garage when we are outside in the yard, if they want to. Sometimes, we have other activities in
the evening and can't ride them later. The dcks are not allowed to play with my kids leapsters. My son (4) is very generous and will let the kids play with his other toys. But he just got the leapster for his b-day this week and that's just for him.

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This is exactly how I feel! Perfectly put Blackcat!

When my son was young he participated most of the time and always had the same basic rules. He was permitted to go relax in his room if it became too much for him but we usually remained as a group. Now that he is 9 he just doen't have much in common with 2 yr olds so he is permiited to do his own thing when playing with Duplos and clipos become boring. He is always supervised but if he wants to go hang out at Grans or his Aunts or go get a special treat at DQ, etc he is permitted to do so. Come summer he does like to play in the yard with the kids. Lots more to do with water gadgets, sand, swingset, etc.

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Same here. The kids can use the Vsmile in the game room but the leapster is still off limits, even though my son doesn't use it much since he got the DS (Nintendo). I do have him take the DS to his room and play because the kids want to take turns and they have no clue what to do with a DS. He has been down in the living room with it a few times in the past and a parent got upset that her 2 yr old wasn't given a turn but what can a 2 yr old do with a DS? He barely knows his numbers let alone how to muliply them. So now it is to stay up in his room 100% of the time so we don't have any issues. I think some parents forget this is still a FAMILY HOME and not everything is for their kid.

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I am not sure if I would call it "Special Privileges" but all my kids are under 3yrs of age and my 2 older children usually eat before my DCK comes for the day and when my oldest comes home from school he sits down for a snack which the kids see as something they usually eat or something that is just for him alone and don't get upset over it. They are used to the routine. He then goes straight to home work and at that same time mine are sitting down for afternoon snack so I can help him with his homework. No complaints. My youngest goes to preschool and when she gets home the kids are already down for nap so what she eats or picks out is either something they had or would of had during the week. Same with snack. Playing wise my youngest plays with all the kidos here or a friend will come over to play with her or all the kids and my oldest will go to a neighbors house or bring them over and I've never had a complaint. If anything i end up having a house full of kids at the end of the day and I am the one complaining...thought that I was losing kids only to be gaining some... Also, my son isn't allowed to play the xbox 360 everyday. Home work has to be finished and the kids have to be gone before he can play. Sometimes I have kids that are here past there pick up time and I will allow my son to play when this happens and I haven't had any upset parents or kids. If anything they are intrigued.

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