So, I had a new baby start. This is his 4th week and he is 3.5 months old. He cries, a lot. A lot. He spits up a lot too. I have to have my assistant here an extra 18 hours a week to help ratios because of him, so he essentially costs me almost $200 a week. I charge $215 a week. I am thinking the profit is not worth 5 days (10 hours each day) of crying and the attention he needs. I actually had to call mom this morning because it was non-stop except during his nap. Do babies his age really cry that much and need so much attention. It's been a while so I don't remember exactly. I thought he would get more used to daycare. It is stressful. Luckily I am at a place where I don't need his income(not that there really is any) and now that I am 5 star I could probably find a replacement when 2 of my kids go to school in the fall. I was just thinking long term of keeping baby.
WWYD? I'm starting to think it is too stressful and not worth it. What would you say in the termination letter and how much time would you give them? I'm ready to just tell them today not to come back. Ugh!

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This is why I no longer offer care for infants.

I would term with notice, especially if I didn't need the income and was losing money.

That's just my opinion.

Good luck

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I would term too.

Some babies are just not cut out for daycare.

I personally don't think that it would be worth it to keep him from what you've said and if you really haven't seen any improvement in the last few weeks, I wouldn't be so sure things will ever change.

I don't know. I kept a baby for a full year (although he cried NON-stop) because I just kept thinking he would out grow it.

Eventually (a year later) he did but looking back now, I would never in a million years do that again.

Your sanity and that of the other DCK's depends on doing what is best for the group as a whole and NOT just what one child needs.

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I started an infant in January when he was 3 months old and he cried every.single.day.nonstop. He also made these weird grunting noises when he was fine or happy (just to make noise I suppose). The only reason I kept trying with him was because I only had twice a week from 8am -noon. There were times that I thought I'd go bananas but I stuck it out because the DCM was really trying at home too. He's an only child, held often by family etc.

Anyway he only got better about 2 weeks ago when he became mobile. Seriously, if I had your DCK and he was 3.5 months old now and had to wait until he got mobile to see an improvement I'd just term. Immediately. And that's without the money issues.

Some infants are just needier and there could possibly be no rhyme or reason behind it other than it's their temperament. My DCB for example is now almost 6 months old and just wants a lot of one on one interaction while the other 6 month old that I have is fine just hanging out and playing on his own. My 5mo got better once he could move around on his own and go after things by himself but he hasn't exactly "gotten over it" by any means. He still cries when he can't see me and I have to sit him in a high chair and feed him snacks while I serve meals in order to be able to keep him within eyesight of me.

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I saw an article last night called "The purple period". Its all about infant crying. I haven't had time to look at it all but the website was pupleperiod.org.

Maybe look at it and see if it helps.

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According to the site it says "The Period of PURPLE Crying begins at about 2 weeks of age and continues until about 3-4 months of age. There are other common characteristics of this phase, or period, which are better described by the acronym PURPLE. All babies go through this period. It is during this time that some babies can cry a lot and some far less, but they all go through it."

It also says that babies in this stage tend to resist any type of soothing.

It would seem that KityKids' baby is nearing the end of this period and if he hasn't improved at all, then like MV said, there is no way I could wait until he simply outgrows this phase.

I'd be a permanent resident in the loony bin!

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I wonder if the ones that don't agrow it are the rage babies we here about, that turn into rage toddlers/preschoolers/SA/adult?

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Yeah, between the baby and kicking my boyfriend out on the 5th I have been seriously stressed this month. I'm surprise I haven't had a breakdown (even tho I've cried practically every day too.) Good thing I have an awesome assistant.

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I had a DCbaby just like this, drove me nuts! She screamed from drop off to pick up. I nearly termed her, I was literally days away and had already had multiple talks with DCPs. They were really good about working with me and she also went from part to full time. She finally adjusted after 3 months of screaming.

Unlike the PP that had a screamer get better when DCK became mobile, this one got worse when she became mobile (started crawling @ 7mos). It was like she reverted back to the screamer she used to be, only now she could crawl around behind me screaming It took about another month before she stopped.

I seriously wanted to term her but keep telling myself to hold on and I'm very glad I did, now she's 16mos and a totally different kid! I'm so glad to have her now!

The hospitals up here are requiring parents to watch a video on the period of purple crying before they will release mom & baby from hospital, they said its because they want less cases of shaken baby

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The first child I had when I restarted daycare was a 9 mo and he cried, and cried, and cried...no I take that back. HE SCREAMED...about everything and anything. Would not play, would not sleep NOTHING. I can't even tell you how many times I had written a term letter only to change my mind because I kept hoping things would change and get better.

He was my only dck for the first several months and I honestly thought I was going to lose it a few times, but since he was the only one, I really needed the income. Finally one day his mom told me they were going to take him someplace else which was more convenient for them...they were driving way out of the way to bring him here. I had NEVER heard sweeter words because i wasn't the one having to term him.

A few days later dcm called and asked if I could take him back...I told a fib because I had found peace having him gone and was not about to go back to all the stuff I put up with from that baby. I loved him, but I didn't like him one bit.

Now looking back, I wish I had not put up with it for even one month...but as I said, I kept hoping things would get better. It never did.

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Thats what the article was about "Shaken Baby"

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time to term. there are not advantages business-wise to keeping him and add on top of that, he is incredibly unhappy. time to cut the cord and let him go

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Anyone have any ideas on how to write the term letter? I have never had to term before. Do I tell them what it is when I give it to them? I think I will give it to them tomorrow at pickup and give them 2 weeks to find alternate care.

I actually had to call mom this morning and she came at lunch to hang with him for a little while. She's probably guessing this is coming (I have talked to her about how he cries a lot, a few times, even tho I try whatever I can think of) or is thinking about it herself. I just can't hold him all the time. Plus the kids and I get tired of listening to it all the time and I am tired of the other kids getting so little attention from me.

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Dear DCF

This letter is written notice of my intent to discontinue our child care services agreement. The last day I am available to provide care is April xx, 2013.

I feel that at this time, I am unable to provide Johnny with the care and attention he needs and feel it would be best that you seek alternate arrangements.

I have included the number to the local Child Care Resource & Referral to aid you in your search for care. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,

Provider

If you already feel like DCM anticipates this coming, you are probably 100% right and I would give her the above term letter. It's truthful and best for baby.

If DCM wants to discuss it further....just keep focusing on wanting to do what is in the baby's best interest and don't let her talk you out of it.

I know it's hard...but I guarantee you that once you no longer have this child in care....you are going to realize that how bad it was.....and how glad you are that he is no longer enrolled.

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I would term. I think there is nothing worse for a daycare environment then a screaming crying baby. At $15 profit...so not worth it!

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I had to terminate a nine month old girl today, and I feel just awful about it.

She came to me at 4 or 5 months old from a large center where they had cameras. The parents said that they would watch her all day from work and got very frustrated because "she was such a good baby the staff would rarely pick her up".

So they moved her to my day care in November 2012. She is my 15th infant. I have had 5 months of pure misery.

I spoke with the parents many times because she would drink a few sips of her bottle and then refuse more. She would only drink it if it was the right temperature. She napped for 30 minutes at a time and would wake up whining. After naps, she whined and grunt whined (angry whine) constantly unless she was being held. She refused food. It almost looked like she knew what would get me annoyed.

I told the dad a few weeks ago that she was "on probation". Then she would get a little better for parts of the day and I would give him a good report. I thought maybe once she was mobile she would stop. But yesterday, the whining went on all day long.

My son and my sister encouraged me to term and told me I was stubborn for not doing it. Well, this morning I handed the dad the letter without a word. I will keep her until a definite date a few weeks from now while they make other arrangements. They are a very nice couple, but I just couldn't take it anymore.

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Sounds like untreated reflux and yes it will make them cry 24/7.. Been there, done that.... And some parents are clueless that this condition is actually very very dangerous untreated... If you term, please educate mom... Honestly it has nothing to do with daycare.. But his little esophagus is probably being eaten alive... Poor thing...

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That's okay. You did the right thing.

Not all babies are cut out for daycare and the daycare must be the right fit.

I think the most issues arise when providers don't know when to throw in the towel and stop. They somehow feel as though they HAVE to continue trying or dealing with tough situations because it's their job.

I think more providers need to be honest with not only themselves but with the parents too.

I also think many providers need to move beyond the mentality that we can "fix" them all.

We can't.

Sometimes it is in the best interest of EVERYONE (the provider, the child, the other children and the parents) to term when things aren't going well.

Loss of income is a huge factor in whether a provider tries to stick it out and that is sad because although money is necessary and important for providers to be able to remain successful themselves, it just shouldn't weigh in on situations like this.

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You are doing what is right for you and you tried to make it work, that's all that matters. Hopefully everything goes well from now until their last day. Thank you for the update, I had been wondering about you and the little baby.

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Thanks Blackcat31,
The money issue isn't going to be a big problem. I am lucky to have contact with the director of a new center that is being built that has filled all of its infant spots already. So, I think I will be able to fill the spot soon.

Your kind words made me feel better and I thank you.

It's kind of funny that dcg is behaving better today. She may be picking up on my feeling of relief that the end is in sight.

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Thanks MarinaVanessa,
I don't anticipate any issues while we wind down the days. The parents are both professionals. There are also cultural issues in this case and there isn't much I can do if we are doing things differently here than they are doing at home in terms of sleeping, feeding, etc.

Thanks for your support and encouragement!

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If you have to pay someone 200 and does that include the SStax you have to pay for her? and only get paid 215... heck no I would not even take the child. unless in a months you would no longer need to pay her to make ratio.

and even then you can always fill an infant opening

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I terminated yesterday and my letter said I would care for dcg until May 17. The dcd came this afternoon. He said that today is their last day and that if I don't want her here then they don't want her here. He collected all her things and they left.

I am so relieved.

Good luck to all who are thinking of terming. It isn't easy. I am going to lose a lot of income, but keep my sanity.

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