Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>New Child Clashing With Mine
CordiallyCranberry 03:26 PM 04-28-2014
Hello! I am new here. I have a 3yo son and a 19 month old daughter. Recently (about a month ago now) I got a little girl who is almost 3 and her little brother who is 4 months old.
My son is pretty laid back, but has your typical toddler problems. Doesn't like sharing, hates cleaning up, gets moody sometimes, etc. This little girl, who I am now calling Lucy, is a spitfire. She is demanding, she acts entitled and is constantly trying to use the excuse that she is special to get things that the other kids don't have, she takes things from other kids and dances around with them in front of their faces, etc. I know she isn't malicious...she's not even 3! But since she's arrived, my son has started crying a lot more, started having accidents (he's been potty trained for over a year and has never had accidents since we trained him), and he is generally unpleasant when she is around. They get along sometimes, but it's not often. He is happier when she is gone or other children their age are around. He gets along with all of the other children just fine.
How do I handle this?
Her parents don't give her any boundaries and that has become very clear. Last week she wanted to sleep in their camper instead of the house, so they did it for most of the week because she demanded it. I am not sure if they maybe are the type of parents who don't use the word no, but they might be.
As of now, we gave him a box and let him put a few of his favorite toys in it. The box only comes out when no one is here. He doesn't talk about it to the other kids, but it seems to be helping him feel less territorial.
Sorry about the rant, I am just out of ideas.
My son is pretty laid back, but has your typical toddler problems. Doesn't like sharing, hates cleaning up, gets moody sometimes, etc. This little girl, who I am now calling Lucy, is a spitfire. She is demanding, she acts entitled and is constantly trying to use the excuse that she is special to get things that the other kids don't have, she takes things from other kids and dances around with them in front of their faces, etc. I know she isn't malicious...she's not even 3! But since she's arrived, my son has started crying a lot more, started having accidents (he's been potty trained for over a year and has never had accidents since we trained him), and he is generally unpleasant when she is around. They get along sometimes, but it's not often. He is happier when she is gone or other children their age are around. He gets along with all of the other children just fine.
How do I handle this?
Her parents don't give her any boundaries and that has become very clear. Last week she wanted to sleep in their camper instead of the house, so they did it for most of the week because she demanded it. I am not sure if they maybe are the type of parents who don't use the word no, but they might be.
As of now, we gave him a box and let him put a few of his favorite toys in it. The box only comes out when no one is here. He doesn't talk about it to the other kids, but it seems to be helping him feel less territorial.
Sorry about the rant, I am just out of ideas.
cheerfuldom 03:37 PM 04-28-2014
It is really hard to juggle things when your children don't like a daycare child. i completely understand. But from the sounds of it, I am guessing no one really likes this little girl and her behavior is disruptive outside of play with others? am I right? I think it is more a matter of being able to manage her behavior. If everyone, including you, is miserable when she is there and the parents are not supportive of appropriate boundaries, it might be time to throw in the towel and replace her. plus if your son is showing stress to the point of regressing and no longer being potty trained.....I think you need to listen to what his actions are telling. He isn't happy. You cannot change this little girl over night and your son is no longer thriving in the environment. all that tells me, time to let this family go.
sarah33 11:00 AM 04-30-2014
I completely agree. She will only change if her parents are doing most of the work. You can't change her behavior on your own, and that is honestly not your job. That is the parents' job. To be even more brutally honest, we don't get paid enough to re-arrange a child's behavior to that degree!!! 
I would also do it for your little boy. We are doing this so we can give our kids a better life...
I would also do it for your little boy. We are doing this so we can give our kids a better life...
bklsmum 11:06 AM 04-30-2014
I concur with both above replies. Our own kids have to come first.