Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Washing African-American Hair
sharlan 08:44 AM 02-17-2015
Not being racist, but I really don't know what to use so I can get a brush through it.

My one daycare girl has the tightest, kinkiest hair ever. For reasons I won't get into, her hair has not been washed in almost 2 weeks. I have been trying to spray her hair with water and smooth it over and putting a pony tail wrapper back in it. I cannot get any brush that I have through her hair without her screaming bloody murder.

I do know that her mom puts Vaseline in it, which I REFUSE to do.

How can I get a brush through this mess?
Reply
Baby Beluga 08:53 AM 02-17-2015
My DD is biracial. She has my hair color but with Dad's coarse/curly texture.

I actually don't wash her hair with shampoo but once a week, if that. However, it does get rinsed and conditioned every night. It never appears dirty (her hair is very dry), always smells good and never has gunk in it. In fact, many people are surprised when I tell them it is rarely shampooed. It is bad to frequently wash curly hair, regardless of the race.

Here is what I do:

Wet hair, then spray with detangler, then apply an oil (I use Dove pure care nourishing oil) then use a wide tooth comb (I was told to never use a brush on curly hair) to comb through the knots. I always start at the bottom of the hair, comb that and then work my way up. Generally if you start at the top of the head and try to comb through you will just create more tangles. I then use a towel to gently squeeze the extra water out of her hair, comb through it a second time and then form her curls.
Reply
Thriftylady 09:15 AM 02-17-2015
I had AA foster kids and can tell you that they HAVE to add oil to their hair. My fosters didn't use Vaseline, I bought them special oil but it may be the same thing, I don't really know. I can also tell you that most of them don't wash their hair as often. The reasons for the oil and less washing is it breaks. Refusing to put oil in it actually makes her hair problems much worse. I think though her mother should be dealing with it rather than you, and I wonder why she isn't.
Reply
daycarediva 09:19 AM 02-17-2015
I wouldn't use Vaseline, but they NEED the oil in their hair. Ethnic hair care aisles have items specifically for little girls for this. I used them on a foster girl and a daycare girl. I also only washed her hair once a week, just rinsed with each bath.

Wide tooth combs and braids are your friends.
Reply
Howl 09:30 AM 02-17-2015
You don't sound racist at all but all of the responses include "they" as if "they" are "the other." If you understand my meaning. Calling that little girl's head a mess also isn't the best way to describe anything.
Reply
Thriftylady 09:38 AM 02-17-2015
Originally Posted by Howl:
You don't sound racist at all but all of the responses include "they" as if "they" are "the other." If you understand my meaning. Calling that little girl's head a mess also isn't the best way to describe anything.
I don't think the OP or the responses are racist or trying to be. Using "they" is just a shorter simpler way than saying "African American" in every sentence, and I know two "african americans" that hate being called that to them, they are just "Americans". I honestly believe that most people are not racist at all, and I certainly haven't read anything on this board that suggests anyone here is.
Reply
crazydaycarelady 09:48 AM 02-17-2015
I have a girl here right now who is pale as can be and her hair is a mess too, a rats nest actually. It is not like the OP is saying this to the girl. She is saying it here, in a safe place, and looking for a solution. Don't try and make her feel bad.
Reply
sharlan 09:53 AM 02-17-2015
I am sorry, but her hair is a mess. It has not been washed or brushed for two weeks.

Mom has been out of town for a week, won't be back until tonight or tomorrow. I feel the need to do something about her hair. It's not the child's fault, just a combination of circumstances right now.

I brush out my other little girl's hair every day. She won't let (yeah, I know) anyone else brush it. It was fairly long, but Mom just had it cut to shoulder length.

I have always brushed out my little girls' hair over the years. I always braided, put in pony tails, ribbons and bows, etc. It's just something I enjoyed doing and the parents appreciated it.
Reply
Josiegirl 09:56 AM 02-17-2015
I have 2 little AA girls in my care. I've never had to do anything with their hair but I could imagine it being extremely difficult. I know both dcm's use coconut oil. One of the little girl's hair is cropped close to the head and the other's is longer, parted in several places and braided differently each a.m., with barrettes.
I also have a little blondie with long curly curly hair and the only thing I've done with her hair is put ponytails in it. I'd never attempt to comb/brush hers either.
I'm sure I wouldn't do it right or I'd have the poor kids yelling and screaming in pain. I do what I can to keep their hair neat enough but I'm not their mom. Maybe your circumstances are totally different with your dcg though, because you said her hair hasn't been washed in a couple weeks.
Reply
daycare 10:01 AM 02-17-2015
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I am sorry, but her hair is a mess. It has not been washed or brushed for two weeks.

Mom has been out of town for a week, won't be back until tonight or tomorrow. I feel the need to do something about her hair. It's not the child's fault, just a combination of circumstances right now.

I brush out my other little girl's hair every day. She won't let (yeah, I know) anyone else brush it. It was fairly long, but Mom just had it cut to shoulder length.
lol it's all good we know you well Shar to know you are asking for the best interest of this child.

My son is AA and we have to use a wide tooth comb, I think he calls it a hair pick. He has a HUGE fro at the moment and I hate it when he has his hair like that because he has to oil it and pick it every day what seems like forever.

I tease him and tell him did you oil and lube your hair so we can go. He laughs at me.

It will get out of control and impossible to comb if he does not add oil to it.

when he was little, we kept it very short.
Reply
sharlan 10:58 AM 02-17-2015
This child's hair has never been cut or even trimmed. I really wish Mom would keep it short.

It was a success, no tears. I washed her hair with an oil based shampoo and conditioner that I had, then I sprayed it with an oil spray my dd has. The inside was a solid mat. I was able to use my granddaughter's detangler brush. It's back up into a pony tail.
Reply
Thriftylady 01:42 PM 02-17-2015
Glad you were able to get it worked out. Hopefully when mom gets home she can address the issues with the person that she likely felt would keep these things under control. She will likely be livid about the situation, I know I would.
Reply
preschoolteacher 01:58 PM 02-17-2015
I'm sure you could find some hairstyle videos on YouTube if you search African American girls hairstyles.
Reply
Unregistered 02:59 PM 02-17-2015
There is a blog/website and facebook called chocolate hair vanilla care. It has been a huge help for folks who are not familiar with African American hair. Definently check it out
Reply
jenboo 04:06 PM 02-17-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
There is a blog/website and facebook called chocolate hair vanilla care. It has been a huge help for folks who are not familiar with African American hair. Definently check it out
I'm going to need this for my future children! Thank you
Reply
Starburst 04:32 PM 02-17-2015
I'm not AA but my hair was always thick and coarse and now without product it gets very dry due to overdying and heat/sun damage. when I was a kid I would sometimes try to use olive oil or cooking oil, but if it got too hot out it would get a weird smell so I didn't do that often.

I mostly use baby oil to smooth out my hair and to make it look healthier/shinier (just have to make sure not to use too much at the roots or it will look greasy). In the past I have also used hair lotion (which was in the AA hair care section, also has a nice smell to it). Some other people I have known who had damaged or otherwise fragile hair have told me that coconut oil is really good for sensitive hair and for repairing dry/damaged hair, so I'm thinking of using that now.
Reply
Unregistered 06:47 AM 02-18-2015
If you are really concerned about grooming her hair. You are going to have to wet it, and but a crap load of conditioner on it (any brand will do). That is the only way you will be able to comb her hair. I'm AA and I have tightly coiled hair. It may take awhile to comb through but start at the ends of her hair and work your way up. Only use a wide tooth comb. When you rinse her hair, don't rinse out all of the conditioner. Leave a little that way it will be easier to style her hair. I hope that helps. ETA also style it while it's still wet.
Reply
momofsix 11:58 AM 02-18-2015
Also, if you're trying to do a "touch up" getting it wet with water will hinder more than help. Use the oil/lotion/conditioner...but water will make it all frizz back up again ever worse.
Reply
Reply Up