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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Inappropriate Touching Of Oneself
LittleD 08:08 AM 08-09-2012
I have had dcb for 3 yrs now. In the beginning when he would go for nap, he would always touch his privates, bring it out of his pants. It was a big issue cuz he shared his nap room with 1 or 2 other children. I would always tell him to put it away and he would and fall asleep. It became an issue as he got a little older and wouldn't fall to sleep right away and the other kids started doing it too! Long story short, I seperated him, spoke with his mom, spoke with him and all seemed to be fine. He started full day school, and last sumer we didnt have any problems at nap.
This year, he is starting again, trying to be discreet this time. I can tell what he is doing under his blanket
I keep telling him that it is something needs to only be doing at home, since it is a private matter. (thats what his mom and I decided we would tell him when this happened before) but he keeps doing it!
I don't know what to do! He has been keeping it under his blanket so far, but he is still 2 feet away from another kid!
This year, he is starting again, trying to be discreet this time. I can tell what he is doing under his blanket
I keep telling him that it is something needs to only be doing at home, since it is a private matter. (thats what his mom and I decided we would tell him when this happened before) but he keeps doing it! I don't know what to do! He has been keeping it under his blanket so far, but he is still 2 feet away from another kid!
SilverSabre25 08:23 AM 08-09-2012
No blanket? At least, not until he's asleep maybe? That seems like the obvious answer to me.
love111 08:39 AM 08-09-2012
Well that is hard. Honestly I am not a therapist. And to some degree we know infant will hold themselves in the womb. But kids learn very quickly there is a time and place for things. Very young toddler like 1.
Personally he is too old for doing that in public. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors.
I have seen babies and young toddlers copy everything! I had a 11 month old one time that would come behind another baby and literally look like she was having sex, humping and everything. I brought it up to mom who was a single mom and shared her room with her daughter.
Come to find out mom and her boyfriend would have sex in the room while they thought the baby was sleeping. Mom just laughed it off saying that I guess she has sneaked a peak of us.
Not funny in my opinion especially when the baby girl started touching herself. Found on facebook 6 months after I dropped her that mom was stripping, go figure.
All I can say is some things are learned, some are natural but at that age a child should know what is socially acceptable and what is not. #1 the parents talk the talk but don't enforce the No playing with yourself in public rule, or #2 the child has some social developmental delay and you are dealing with a psychological problem or hormones way out of wack. #3 worst case you have some sexual abuse going on.
I say sexual abuse because I was a foster parent for a short period of time. One of the big red flags they tell us as a sign of abused is kids touching other kids in inappropriate ways, or showing themselves or playing with themselves in public or private all the time(of course age appropriate).
Either way it sounds like you addressed it to mom. I would talk to the mom again and recommend she talk to the pediatrician and make sure she doesn't talk to the pediatrician with the kid there, kid doesn't need to hear that. Then the ped may request she get a work up.
As a mom I would rather be safe than sorry alot of times abuse goes on behind the moms back and they don't even know it. Other thing if there is a problem she needs to nip this in the butt before he get's "labelled" in school and it follows him. Meaning he flashes himself in class or the bathroom and he is "in the system" and the school forces a work up.
Sorry for the long post but it can mean so many things. I wish you the best.
Personally he is too old for doing that in public. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors.
I have seen babies and young toddlers copy everything! I had a 11 month old one time that would come behind another baby and literally look like she was having sex, humping and everything. I brought it up to mom who was a single mom and shared her room with her daughter.
Come to find out mom and her boyfriend would have sex in the room while they thought the baby was sleeping. Mom just laughed it off saying that I guess she has sneaked a peak of us.
Not funny in my opinion especially when the baby girl started touching herself. Found on facebook 6 months after I dropped her that mom was stripping, go figure.
All I can say is some things are learned, some are natural but at that age a child should know what is socially acceptable and what is not. #1 the parents talk the talk but don't enforce the No playing with yourself in public rule, or #2 the child has some social developmental delay and you are dealing with a psychological problem or hormones way out of wack. #3 worst case you have some sexual abuse going on.
I say sexual abuse because I was a foster parent for a short period of time. One of the big red flags they tell us as a sign of abused is kids touching other kids in inappropriate ways, or showing themselves or playing with themselves in public or private all the time(of course age appropriate).
Either way it sounds like you addressed it to mom. I would talk to the mom again and recommend she talk to the pediatrician and make sure she doesn't talk to the pediatrician with the kid there, kid doesn't need to hear that. Then the ped may request she get a work up.
As a mom I would rather be safe than sorry alot of times abuse goes on behind the moms back and they don't even know it. Other thing if there is a problem she needs to nip this in the butt before he get's "labelled" in school and it follows him. Meaning he flashes himself in class or the bathroom and he is "in the system" and the school forces a work up.
Sorry for the long post but it can mean so many things. I wish you the best.
cheerfuldom 09:00 AM 08-09-2012
Have you talked to mom again? perhaps they are now allowing this behavior at home, assuming he no longer does it at daycare.
LittleD 03:33 PM 08-09-2012
Yes, I could take the blanket away, but then there's his pillow, but I guess I can take that away too! Or maybe he may decide to just do it out in the open again.
It seems to be a comfort thing, some kids rub their blanket on their nose, some suck their thumb.
I didn't want to have to bring it up to mom, as it was an uncomfortable subject to bring up the first time around
She's on vacation, so I will do it when they get back.
It seems to be a comfort thing, some kids rub their blanket on their nose, some suck their thumb.
I didn't want to have to bring it up to mom, as it was an uncomfortable subject to bring up the first time around
She's on vacation, so I will do it when they get back.
CrayolaKids 04:57 PM 08-09-2012
I have a 3.5 dcb who lately has been doing a lot of this. He doesn't bring it out of his pants, but he constantly has his hands on his privates (usually on the outside, but occasionally inside his pants too). Each time I catch him doing it, I make sure to stop him...but I'm at a loss of what to do? He's doing it at home too, and I've talked to mom about it and when they catch him doing it they also stop him. She has also mentioned that they try not to make a big deal out of it so he doesn't become embarrassed...but my thinking is that it is a big deal and very inappropriate! He is old enough to know better, and the younger kids will start to pick up on this as well. I'm curious to hear what others have for suggestions because I'm at a loss as well! I don't want to shame him...but yet he needs to realize it's not appropriate to touch himself when out in public or at daycare and such.