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Littlelearnersdaycare 07:56 PM 10-13-2014
Hello everyone, I am looking for some advice. I had a new family start at my daycare about a month ago. When they started, they signed my contract and all of the forms that go along with joining a new daycare. One of the forms included, is a field trip form, which they did sign. Now I am not licensed to provide transportation, but in my state we are still required to have permission slips for walks around the neighborhood and/or trips to the park. Anyway, this morning the new parent decided that she wants to "terminate her permissions to take her children to the park." She feels that someone could easily "take her child when I'm not looking". I assured her that I am completely capable of supervising all of the children in my care and that I am LICENSED to do so. She still is not backing down on this. I feel that this is completely irrational and overprotective. I also feel that all the other children in my care will be missing out.. Is it unreasonable of me to ask that she either keep the forms signed or find other daycare?
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TheGoodLife 08:21 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by Littlelearnersdaycare:
Hello everyone, I am looking for some advice. I had a new family start at my daycare about a month ago. When they started, they signed my contract and all of the forms that go along with joining a new daycare. One of the forms included, is a field trip form, which they did sign. Now I am not licensed to provide transportation, but in my state we are still required to have permission slips for walks around the neighborhood and/or trips to the park. Anyway, this morning the new parent decided that she wants to "terminate her permissions to take her children to the park." She feels that someone could easily "take her child when I'm not looking". I assured her that I am completely capable of supervising all of the children in my care and that I am LICENSED to do so. She still is not backing down on this. I feel that this is completely irrational and overprotective. I also feel that all the other children in my care will be missing out.. Is it unreasonable of me to ask that she either keep the forms signed or find other daycare?
Do you have scheduled times/days for all field trips? If so, let her know that she can refuse to have her child participate, but must keep her child home that day/time frame as you will not refrain from taking the other children out. Tuition is still due if she choses not to have her child participate.
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Thriftylady 08:25 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by TheGoodLife:
Do you have scheduled times/days for all field trips? If so, let her know that she can refuse to have her child participate, but must keep her child home that day/time frame as you will not refrain from taking the other children out. Tuition is still due if she choses not to have her child participate.
Agreed
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CraftyMom 08:33 PM 10-13-2014
For me I would have her find a new daycare. I take the kids on field trips. If someone doesn't want to allow that, then this isn't the right fit. Same goes for walks and the park.

So NO ONE can go to the park, because one mom has changed her mind? For me that is a deal breaker. It is unfair to everyone else.

All of my dcp's love that we get out and do things, even taking a walk. If suddenly we stopped doing these things to accommodate one child I'm sure they wouldn't be pleased. I wouldn't be giving everyone what they signed up for and that isn't fair. My dcp's are expecting occasional opportunities for their child to have experiences outside of the daycare home.

It is group care, not individual care. You can't cater to one mom. I understand her not wanting her child to leave the premises, there are tons of parents who agree. However, if your program is one that provides walks and trips to the park then this isn't the right fit.

Mom changed her mind. You did not change your program.

I would tell her that given the fact that you leave the premises with the children you are required by the state to have permission to do so, but it is not an option as to whether or not it happens. If she feels uncomfortable with her child taking walks or going to the park she will need to find other arrangements.

Not every daycare is a good fit for every child in many ways, including this.

It is her choice to not have her child leave the premises, and there are lots of other daycares that will accommodate that.
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CraftyMom 08:35 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by TheGoodLife:
Do you have scheduled times/days for all field trips? If so, let her know that she can refuse to have her child participate, but must keep her child home that day/time frame as you will not refrain from taking the other children out. Tuition is still due if she choses not to have her child participate.
I can see field trips having a scheduled day, like maybe always on Fridays. But walks and trips to the park (in my daycare) are dependent on the weather and the moods of the children. Sometimes it's just a beautiful day and we want to go for a walk, no specific day scheduled.
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Cradle2crayons 08:37 PM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
For me I would have her find a new daycare. I take the kids on field trips. If someone doesn't want to allow that, then this isn't the right fit. Same goes for walks and the park.

So NO ONE can go to the park, because one mom has changed her mind? For me that is a deal breaker. It is unfair to everyone else.

All of my dcp's love that we get out and do things, even taking a walk. If suddenly we stopped doing these things to accommodate one child I'm sure they wouldn't be pleased. I wouldn't be giving everyone what they signed up for and that isn't fair. My dcp's are expecting occasional opportunities for their child to have experiences outside of the daycare home.

It is group care, not individual care. You can't cater to one mom. I understand her not wanting her child to leave the premises, there are tons of parents who agree. However, if your program is one that provides walks and trips to the park then this isn't the right fit.

Mom changed her mind. You did not change your program.

I would tell her that given the fact that you leave the premises with the children you are required by the state to have permission to do so, but it is not an option as to whether or not it happens. If she feels uncomfortable with her child taking walks or going to the park she will need to find other arrangements.

Not every daycare is a good fit for every child in many ways, including this.

It is her choice to not have her child leave the premises, and there are lots of other daycares that will accommodate that.
I would tell mom that if she wants to revoke her permission, then you'll need her two weeks notice, paid in full. I would certainly not allow a parent to dictate what I do. She signed up knowing you went on walks.

I hope you have a termination policy. If she gave you. Deposit, I wouldn't refund it either. She knew what she was signing up for.
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Meyou 01:41 AM 10-14-2014
I would tell Mom that since her needs have changed it isn't going to work out and I would term.
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KidGrind 03:48 AM 10-14-2014
I would tell her,

“DCM I can understand your concerns. Part of enrolling your child in any daycare situation involves trust. Though I am confident in my abilities to supervise your child; I agree it’s a crazy world we live-in.

Nanny services seem to be what your looking for, which I do not offer at this time. You have an option to give me two weeks notice of termination tomorrow morning to give you time to look for other arrangements. During the two weeks you will need to pick up Baby Doe 15 minutes before our groups scheduled park time and you may drop the baby back off 15 minutes after our scheduled return for your last two weeks of care."
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Littlelearnersdaycare 04:42 AM 10-14-2014
Thank you everyone. I had to make a decision quickly while I was talking to the parent last night. Ultimately I told her that due to snow falling soon, we will not be going to the park much longer. Therefore I will withhold park visits for the rest of the year (as I would have anyway due to weather changes) but that if she still feels like way next year I will make her either resign a new field trip form or find other care. Thanks for all the advice. I try to accommodate parents the best that ican without changing my policies, but this one really puzzled me. I appreciate all the advice!
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KidGrind 04:49 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by Littlelearnersdaycare:
Thank you everyone. I had to make a decision quickly while I was talking to the parent last night. Ultimately I told her that due to snow falling soon, we will not be going to the park much longer. Therefore I will withhold park visits for the rest of the year (as I would have anyway due to weather changes) but that if she still feels like way next year I will make her either resign a new field trip form or find other care. Thanks for all the advice. I try to accommodate parents the best that ican without changing my policies, but this one really puzzled me. I appreciate all the advice!
You have to do what works for you and your business. I just want to give you a heads up; DCM will continue with more requests. You have given her the green light to make more outlandish demands. You shown her how to treat you and your business.

I am wishing you the best.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:34 AM 10-14-2014
This exact issue has crossed my mind before, as to whether or not they "WANT" their child to go to the neighborhood parks, so I included a small note under my permission area. It reads as follows:


I hereby _____ do not give _____ give consent for my child to walk with a staff member of --in home daycare name-- to the park and/or participate in age appropriate activities at the parks located at the end of --neighborhood street-- (2 parks, 1 field), --neighborhood street-- (“Dinosaur park”), --neighborhood street-- and --neighborhood street-- (soccer field), and --neighborhood street-- (clubhouse park). In order to attend --daycare name--, your child must be able to walk to the above-mentioned parks with a staff member.
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Littlelearnersdaycare 07:40 AM 10-14-2014
When she asked me in person, I was caught off guard and agreed. But after I realized how it would affect my daycare, I confronted her. I wish I would have said no right away, but unfortunately I didnt. You live and learn, and I'll have to learn from this. I've only been doing daycare for about a year, so I'm still learning. Dealing with the parents is DEFINITELY the hardest part of my job!
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CraftyMom 07:43 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by Littlelearnersdaycare:
When she asked me in person, I was caught off guard and agreed. But after I realized how it would affect my daycare, I confronted her. I wish I would have said no right away, but unfortunately I didnt. You live and learn, and I'll have to learn from this. I've only been doing daycare for about a year, so I'm still learning. Dealing with the parents is DEFINITELY the hardest part of my job!

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hope 07:45 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by Littlelearnersdaycare:
When she asked me in person, I was caught off guard and agreed. But after I realized how it would affect my daycare, I confronted her. I wish I would have said no right away, but unfortunately I didnt. You live and learn, and I'll have to learn from this. I've only been doing daycare for about a year, so I'm still learning. Dealing with the parents is DEFINITELY the hardest part of my job!
I am never good when I need to respond quickly and usually give in too and later regret it. Next time any parent makes a request say that you need to think about it and will get back to them. Even for small things. If you really regret it you can say that you were put on the spot and after putting some thought into it you changed your mind.
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KidGrind 07:45 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by Littlelearnersdaycare:
When she asked me in person, I was caught off guard and agreed. But after I realized how it would affect my daycare, I confronted her. I wish I would have said no right away, but unfortunately I didnt. You live and learn, and I'll have to learn from this. I've only been doing daycare for about a year, so I'm still learning. Dealing with the parents is DEFINITELY the hardest part of my job!
I understand.
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melilley 07:52 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by Littlelearnersdaycare:
When she asked me in person, I was caught off guard and agreed. But after I realized how it would affect my daycare, I confronted her. I wish I would have said no right away, but unfortunately I didnt. You live and learn, and I'll have to learn from this. I've only been doing daycare for about a year, so I'm still learning. Dealing with the parents is DEFINITELY the hardest part of my job!
I have the "deer in headlights" syndrome too. I tend to agree to things and after thinking about what I agreed to, I don't have the same answer and I get angry at myself for agreeing to things too fast.
But, like you said, you live and learn. I have learned a lot from the wonderful people on this forum and have been getting better at a lot of issues or things that I should say or do in this business. As we call it on here, getting a backbone!
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NeedaVaca 07:53 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by Littlelearnersdaycare:
When she asked me in person, I was caught off guard and agreed. But after I realized how it would affect my daycare, I confronted her. I wish I would have said no right away, but unfortunately I didnt. You live and learn, and I'll have to learn from this. I've only been doing daycare for about a year, so I'm still learning. Dealing with the parents is DEFINITELY the hardest part of my job!
So how did she take it when you told her? Unless I'm misunderstanding the post it looks like after thinking about it you will continue to go to the parks. I also need to work on not answering right away! I'm getting better but it's a hard habit to break
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Littlelearnersdaycare 09:13 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
So how did she take it when you told her? Unless I'm misunderstanding the post it looks like after thinking about it you will continue to go to the parks. I also need to work on not answering right away! I'm getting better but it's a hard habit to break
Well, what I ended up doing was telling her that I will withhold park visits for the rest of the year (due to snow falling aoon we will not be going to the park anyway). But I said that next year when we start doing park visits again I WILL have her resign the field trip form or else she will have to find other care. I wish I would have stuck to my guns right away, but like I said, I'm learning!
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Littlelearnersdaycare 09:15 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by hope:
I am never good when I need to respond quickly and usually give in too and later regret it. Next time any parent makes a request say that you need to think about it and will get back to them. Even for small things. If you really regret it you can say that you were put on the spot and after putting some thought into it you changed your mind.
Thanks for the advice! That's a great idea. I'll try to use that from now on. I think that would really help!
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Littlelearnersdaycare 09:18 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
I would tell mom that if she wants to revoke her permission, then you'll need her two weeks notice, paid in full. I would certainly not allow a parent to dictate what I do. She signed up knowing you went on walks.

I hope you have a termination policy. If she gave you. Deposit, I wouldn't refund it either. She knew what she was signing up for.
Yes I have a termination policy, two weeks notice oaid in full. I strongly enforce that. My contract is fairly strict, but for good reasons! I really wish I would have stuck to my guns. Oh well!
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Play Care 09:42 AM 10-14-2014
You know, it's okay to approach DCM and say "I've had some more time to think about your request. Unfortunately I will not be able to accommodate it as its unfair to the other families and children. I completely understand if you need to find other care more suitable to your needs." If she comes back with anything just keep repeating a variation of what you said (broken record technique )

My personal policy is to never give an yes/no answer when approached with a request. It's always "I'll have to think about it and get back to you." Even if it seems like a mundane request. Took years to get there (and it's not perfect) but it buys me time.
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CraftyMom 09:56 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by Play Care:
You know, it's okay to approach DCM and say "I've had some more time to think about your request. Unfortunately I will not be able to accommodate it as its unfair to the other families and children. I completely understand if you need to find other care more suitable to your needs." If she comes back with anything just keep repeating a variation of what you said (broken record technique )

.
I agree

It is the truth. After you thought about it you regretted saying yes.

Today is a beautiful day here and we went a wonderful nature walk. I would be fuming to myself if I weren't able to do this today due to circumstances such as yours.

There is still a lot of fall left, January is a long way off. Not sure about where you live, but we don't usually expect snow until mid-late December, plenty of time left for walks and the park! (Unless it were 3 years ago when we had a freak snowstorm for Halloween! That was interesting!)
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Littlelearnersdaycare 10:09 AM 10-14-2014
Snow falls here late october sometimes! (unfortunately) Since I already agreed to having her resign next year, I am going to stick with that. I understand where everyone is coming from, and i wish i would have said something like that sooner.. But i don't like to go back on my word. I'll just have to make sure i stick to it next time!
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Blackcat31 10:32 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by Littlelearnersdaycare:
Snow falls here late october sometimes! (unfortunately) Since I already agreed to having her resign next year, I am going to stick with that. I understand where everyone is coming from, and i wish i would have said something like that sooner.. But i don't like to go back on my word. I'll just have to make sure i stick to it next time!
Welcome to the forum!

We are not too far from one another
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Littlelearnersdaycare 10:37 AM 10-14-2014
Thank you! I think i'm really going to enjoy this. It helps to be able to talk to people who understand the things we as daycare providers have to deal with!
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Cradle2crayons 04:41 PM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by Littlelearnersdaycare:
Thank you! I think i'm really going to enjoy this. It helps to be able to talk to people who understand the things we as daycare providers have to deal with!
Just remember. You are allowed to change your mind if a decision you have made interrupts what you want your business to be!!

We've all been there. Stick around and do some reading and you'll see!!
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Littlelearnersdaycare 08:42 AM 10-15-2014
I just thought I would give everyone an update on the current situation i'm dealing with. I told this DCP to go home and talk to her husband about signing the field trip form next year. She came back yesterday and said they still will not be comfortable with me taking their children to the park. Therefore, i told her on the spot that she will need to find other daycare. Because i know the difficulty in finding good childcare, i am giving them four weeks to find other care.
Also, is it weird that i feel completely offended by her distrust in me? I am a licensed childcare provider and am perfectly capable of watching 5-8 children play at the park. She kept saying that she was "surprised other parents weren't nervous". To me this is like a slap in the face to the other parents and i don't like it. I'm glad that we have hashed this situation and i will no longer have to worry about this odd request. I feel much better and want to thank everyone for giving me the courage to stand my ground
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CraftyMom 08:45 AM 10-15-2014
Originally Posted by Littlelearnersdaycare:
I just thought I would give everyone an update on the current situation i'm dealing with. I told this DCP to go home and talk to her husband about signing the field trip form next year. She came back yesterday and said they still will not be comfortable with me taking their children to the park. Therefore, i told her on the spot that she will need to find other daycare. Because i know the difficulty in finding good childcare, i am giving them four weeks to find other care.
Also, is it weird that i feel completely offended by her distrust in me? I am a licensed childcare provider and am perfectly capable of watching 5-8 children play at the park. She kept saying that she was "surprised other parents weren't nervous". To me this is like a slap in the face to the other parents and i don't like it. I'm glad that we have hashed this situation and i will no longer have to worry about this odd request. I feel much better and want to thank everyone for giving me the courage to stand my ground
That's a relief for you!

Me, I might feel offended at her not trusting me. However I understand her concern. Most children do not obey their parents as well as they obey their daycare provider. So the parents imagine 5-8 children running around like crazy, not following directions.

Some parents are not comfortable with their children leaving the premises. It likely has absolutely nothing to do with you personally, they simply prefer that their child does not leave. It's their personal preference, and that is understandable. But that is not how your daycare works so it wasn't going to work out.

I think it was better to end it now
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christine19720 09:42 AM 10-15-2014
But, I can't help but wonder how these new parents will handle when their child enters school
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Littlelearnersdaycare 12:30 PM 10-15-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
That's a relief for you!

Me, I might feel offended at her not trusting me. However I understand her concern. Most children do not obey their parents as well as they obey their daycare provider. So the parents imagine 5-8 children running around like crazy, not following directions.

Some parents are not comfortable with their children leaving the premises. It likely has absolutely nothing to do with you personally, they simply prefer that their child does not leave. It's their personal preference, and that is understandable. But that is not how your daycare works so it wasn't going to work out.

I think it was better to end it now
I can understand her concerns as well, but she signed it when she started and then after coming to the park wanted to void the signature… It just seemed weird.
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Littlelearnersdaycare 12:30 PM 10-15-2014
Originally Posted by christine19720:
But, I can't help but wonder how these new parents will handle when their child enters school
I was thinking the same thing… she will probably want to be a chaperone for every trip.
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Blackcat31 01:30 PM 10-15-2014
Originally Posted by Littlelearnersdaycare:
I just thought I would give everyone an update on the current situation i'm dealing with. I told this DCP to go home and talk to her husband about signing the field trip form next year. She came back yesterday and said they still will not be comfortable with me taking their children to the park. Therefore, i told her on the spot that she will need to find other daycare. Because i know the difficulty in finding good childcare, i am giving them four weeks to find other care.
Also, is it weird that i feel completely offended by her distrust in me? I am a licensed childcare provider and am perfectly capable of watching 5-8 children play at the park. She kept saying that she was "surprised other parents weren't nervous". To me this is like a slap in the face to the other parents and i don't like it. I'm glad that we have hashed this situation and i will no longer have to worry about this odd request. I feel much better and want to thank everyone for giving me the courage to stand my ground
I wouldn't take it personally if I were you.

I am a parent.

I didn't trust ANYONE to take my children ANYWHERE but have major issues with parents when they don't trust ME to take their children.

See how that works?

Totally double standard.

But it is just the way it is...kwim?
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renodeb 02:14 PM 10-15-2014
That would definitely be a deal breaker here. I only go on very few trips but all of the parents I have are groovy with it. Usually one of the first things I get asked is if I take the dc kids places and we go from there. Usually parents are like this : when I say that we go places on occasion.
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