Hello

For those that are regulars here I apologize for the redundancy but I am really at a loss with a child. This 20 month old DCB will NOT eat! He won't eat anything literally... he barely will even drink his milk during the day.... I have tried everything with him.. when he is the only one here I offer more times than I do when he is with a group and still nothing. At best he sits quietly for about 5 minutes prior to throwing a fit. He is clearly tired and would sleep all day if he was able to ... he gets two naps during the day most days ... it doesn't matter what I do he will not eat. Is this a normal occurrence? I have talked with mom on multiple occasions and she doesn't seem very concerned.. writes it off as him being picky... says if I serve him chicken nuggets he will eat... well he doesn't not to mention I can't very well feed him nuggets every day! WWYD?

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How long has this gone on?

Sometimes, little ones can refuse to eat for even a couple weeks, but if this is an ongoing problem, and he is doing nothing but wanting to sleep, there could be something wrong with him.

With summer here, it's extremely important that the child is hydrated, and if he's refusing to eat or even drink milk, it's time for a doctor's evaluation. It could be that he can't process certain foods (such as wheat) and that eating causes him pain, it could be that he doesn't like certain textures, it could be he's stopped up, so many things it could be.

The thing that concerns me is not that he's just not eating, but that he HAS not been eating for what appears to be a pretty good period of time and that he's unusually sleepy for a child of his age.

I'd tell mom to get him a doctor ASAP and that she needs to bring a note that he's been seen and any diagnosis (if any) as well as a plan before you'll accept him back. This is really for his own well-being.

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How long have you had him?

I have one that started with me when he was 24 months and same thing, would not eat. He was shy and had to warm up to me for a while. I found out that he is not a morning person and doesn't like to eat breakfast. I still offer it to him but he doesn't want it. The rest of the day, he eats now. But there are things I found that bother him. He doesn't like the texture of jello, cooked carrots, or peaches.

He's just picky.

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I think I have his twin . Mine just crumbles everything up, but rarely actually eats anything. He's 22 months. The one thing he'll eat for me is chicken and cheese rolled up in a tortilla, but it has to be skinny, not fat, or he won't touch it . He is growing and developing normally, though, so I just keep offering a variety and hoping he'll decide to eat soon.

Sorry I don't have any great insights .

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Know that you are not responsible for 100% of his nutrition. His rapid growth is slowing at this stage, his appetite will follow.

The more you stress over it and continue to push, the more he will resist.

Offer the food, then walk away. Don't let him see you watching. Act like it is no big deal, you do this for a living.

If he does not want to eat, let him down. Rinse, repeat.

As long as he is growing and Mom/Pediatrician are happy... let it go.

Meals should be stress free and he will eat once it is. Eating is fun after all.

You can offer Pediasure if it makes you feel better, but know it will resolve itself naturally.

Edit: Don't fall into the Disney Mom trap of giving him what he WILL eat. Stick with what his body NEEDS him to eat. Otherwise this can go on for years, IMHE.

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He has been doing it for well over a month. He is a sleeper and is not pleasent upon waking... he is not a morning person... after nap person... lol it seems by the time he is awake and not crabby he is ready for more sleep shortly after. Mom again, is not concerned, but I am. I feel like a pest constantly bringing it up to her but it really does bother me. She stated he is in fact a picky eater but claims he eats for her if she serves like mixed veggies and nuggets, which isn't an issue.. except I can't serve it daily multiple times a day. I fear he is so tired because he isn't eating... when he is tired he is very whiney all day long.... I just see a vicious cycle that I am uncertain how to break.

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It would concern me if he held out that long even when offered things he normally eats. I tend to go by the notion it our job to offer them nutitious options to eat, and there job to determise how much they will eat. Eating nothing and drinking nothing for day after day would worry me though.

Any chance he is mostly bottle and spoon feed at home? Just not used to feeding himself. I've had a few toddlers start who had no clue how to go about feeding themselves as it was always done for them. Parents found it easier and less mess.

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That would tell me his starch requirements are met at home so I need to focus on his proteins, dark leafys, and whole grains.

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Glad you mentioned this... I am told he is offered a bottle IF he wants it at home but drinks from a cup the majority of the time. His sippy is a very similar to a bottle nipple as well and that is what he uses here. I attempt to help him out with say pudding and he flat out screams at me. He threw a bowel of cereal on the floor the other day... I do offer food and go about my business in the kitchen.... so I am near and when he is quietly sitting staring I prompt eating and say yum yum eat or something similar... nothing has worked and I am just really concerned. In my experience even the pickiest of eaters eat sometimes... whether they like it or not as they are hungry. I have even went as far as to try to get him to eat a poptart!

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I do offer all food groups and only serve whole grain noodles and bread. He just is a stinker I think!

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I'd be worried too but the way I see it, it's not your place to fix it. If mom isn't concerned and you've brought it up with her then all you can do is keep offering the food. Keep the drama low, don't make any big or small deals about it. Just offer food to him in a positive, no stress manner.

I would wonder tho if he's anemic. With all the sleepiness and loss of appetite. I'd probably mention this to the mom but it's her choice to follow up with pedi or a blood test.

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Oh, I am sure you do... the fact that he is acting out tells me that.

I also know many Moms read this site during lunch hour (for a fact) passive education works too... hehe

Stick to it, don't cave and don't push. It works.

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I just Googled it. Hearing from these moms might make you feel better. Some ideas here too.

http://www.circleofmoms.com/april-20...n-t-eat-125372

It seems to be a rather common problem at that age. I once had a drop-in toddler girl that would only eat Goldfish crackers and Pediasure. I tried other things thinking that couldn't be possible but it was!

Laurel

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Seems to me that the provider is the only one concerned about this issue when there really should be a few others in this picture more concerned.

I think you need to serve health food choices and leave the rest alone.

You can't force a child to eat and if his habit or tastes are not a good fit for your program you can either let him go or you can simply not address his picky preferences.

I think by going above and beyond and doing things like offering him a poptart etc, you are feeding this unhealthy eating habit and reinforcing the pickiness....kwim?

You already said the mom is not very concerned about it so if he chooses to not eat at your house there really isn't much you can do other than serve chicken nuggets everyday.

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I'd bet he's given a bottle at home IF he doesn't eat....and....he's holding out for a bottle.

Nutrition wise I bet he is anemic and I'd be VERY concerned.

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I understand your frustration, however, a healthy child will NEVER starve himself to death. Ask the parents to have the child evaluated by a doctor. If the child is healthy, just keep offering food and don't sweat it when he doesn't eat. Really, it's all you CAN do.

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I've only offered a pop tart on one occasion for breakfast, I just was using it as an example of things that were refused that are typically consumed. Child also has many food allergies so some things are limited; however, not a big deal as my menu is very healthy. Mom has requested I offer him meals multiple times a day... I did explain when he is the only child in my care for the day I am more flexible with offering the meals; however, when he is part of a group we do have to keep meals as a group otherwise I'd be opening the door to many other issues.

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I have a dcb who is 22 months and rarely eats here. He will only eat bread products and peanut butter or lunch meat. His mom says that he has a texture aversion and won't eat anything that is stringy or has a certain texture. Now, I half believe this because he has eaten some things that his mom said he will never eat, but rarely. I believe that children won't starve themselves and will eat if hungry, but I still feel bad if this child doesn't eat so I will make him a sandwich and he usually eats it up. I know I should just serve him what we are having and walk away, but personally I just can't seem to do that...
On another note when my daughter was around this age she wouldn't eat barely anything but hot dogs and chicken nuggets so that's what I let her eat. It made me feel better because at least she had something to eat! Please don't judge me....lol I was young and didn't think of how unhealthy those foods are and should only be eaten in moderation!
I think that many children go through this phase.
If you are really concerned, but the child's parents aren't, you could always tell them that you need a note from his doctor, though I don't know what you would say it was for. The sleeping all day is probably a result of not eating. Sorry, I don't have any great advice for you either.

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If you are really worried, start a journal going back and forth for a week. Both you and mom should document what meals were offered when, and how much, if any, he ate. The same with sleep, in your case I would also jot down activities (offered playdough, did not participate or offered paints, painted several pictures). Also, energy level & mood. Alert, lethargic, fussy, etc.

First, it'll help you see if there are any patterns. Maybe he has other food allergies that haven't been recognized. Maybe his iron level is low. Maybe once mom sees just what you offer, and how little he eats overall, she will at least talk to her doctor.

Maybe he IS just that picky. But, it's been going on long enough, and you've offered enough variety, made enough attempts to offer junk just to see if he'd eat anything, that I'd be concerned to. Especially since there are so many other "off" behaviors.

Ask her to do it for just a week "just to alleviate my concern".

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IMHO just offer the food. if he doesn't eat it, oh well, he goes hungry till snack. Do the same with snacks.

IF he is thirsty enough he will drink out of what he has eventually, if not, oh well.

If he is a grump, too bad. Play with toys anyway.

You seem to be trying to please someone that just cant be pleased.

If it really interrupts your day, term him. If mom doesn't care, well I guess all you can do is your job. She can deal with his stuff when he leaves.

You cant cater to this child all day, he needs to figure out how to deal with himself by himself.

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What does mom usually put in his bottle/sippy, and how often does she refill it? I'm betting this little guy is getting a lot of milk at home, possibly even overnight. I had a child just as you described and when pushed mom admitted she gives a sippy of milk at bed and usually refills it at least once throughout the night, then another cup of milk before coming to care. The average sippy is about 10oz so that alone is 30oz of milk plus what provider offers and what parents are giving in the evening.
I obviously don't know your specific child but I'm just guessing based on my experience, too much milk and a sippy at night. Also, a sippy at night would explain a bit of the tiredness during the day. He's still waking at night to drink when he really should be sleeping through the night.

As for what I would do in your position, I would write up my concerns and give mom a copy and have her sign and date one for your files. Then leave it alone.

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That makes sense, too. One of my dcb's was doing this at that age. He hardly ate, and gma would say things like "he's just not a breakfast guy", yet he is very sturdy.

One clue was that within an hour of being here, his diaper was sopping wet.

After some fact finding, I pointed out to gma that while formula offers complete nutrition, milk does not. So, he NEEDED food in order to get all his vitamins and minerals.

I believe they started watering down his milk at night, then giving him less and less, so over a few weeks, he went from full sippies of milk all night to sippies with a little water in them.

He IS a breakfast guy!

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Toddlers often go through stages where they are picky. It's normal, it's not misbehavior, and sometimes all you can do is indulge it. Your kid didn't die from Chicken Nuggets and hot dogs, and I'll bet that your kid eats healthier now. You're certainly not a bad parent for that! I DO cater to picky kids to an extent, because it's not their fault. Sometimes they truly believe that green foods or crunchy foods or whatever are simply not edible and it freaks them out to eat them. I'm lucky that the kids I have now will eat absolutely anything.

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I agree that the only thing you can do is offer but I have to reiterate my concern from above that this child may be anemic, maybe severely anemic. It's the sleeping that tips me off there. My own DS2 was very anemic at 9mo (I won't even go into the guilt I felt there!!!!!!) and he was SO tired and sleeping a ton.

If your DCK is getting no major sources of iron because they are putting cow milk in his bottle and that's the main source of food then he could easily be severely anemic. If they are putting iron fortified formula in his bottles I wouldn't be concerned and then carry on just offering foods at regular mealtimes.

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