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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Pickup is going to be so AWKWARD today!
melilley 10:30 AM 11-13-2013
I have a dcb whose parents are going through a divorce because dcm says dcd was abusive and she wasn't going to put up with it anymore (not sure if it was physical or mental or what). They have been separated since the middle of the summer. Dcd moved about 20 minutes away so dcm has been picking up (dcd used to the majority of the time) and I haven't seen dad since around July. Often times mom would pick up in a hurry saying "I can't be late dropping off M to B, he is going to scream at me".
Now dcd has moved back to this side of town and will be picking up on his days.
Pickup is just going to be so awkward. I don't know what he thinks I know or if he thinks I think of him in a certain way because of the divorce and the nature of it. I know there are two sides to the story and Dcm hasn't really said much besides he has anger issues (with her). I really hope it's just simple pickups!
Now dcd has moved back to this side of town and will be picking up on his days.
Pickup is just going to be so awkward. I don't know what he thinks I know or if he thinks I think of him in a certain way because of the divorce and the nature of it. I know there are two sides to the story and Dcm hasn't really said much besides he has anger issues (with her). I really hope it's just simple pickups!
KidGrind 10:34 AM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by melilley:
I have a dcb whose parents are going through a divorce because dcm says dcd was abusive and she wasn't going to put up with it anymore (not sure if it was physical or mental or what). They have been separated since the middle of the summer. Dcd moved about 20 minutes away so dcm has been picking up (dcd used to the majority of the time) and I haven't seen dad since around July. Often times mom would pick up in a hurry saying "I can't be late dropping off M to B, he is going to scream at me".
Now dcd has moved back to this side of town and will be picking up on his days.
Pickup is just going to be so awkward. I don't know what he thinks I know or if he thinks I think of him in a certain way because of the divorce and the nature of it. I know there are two sides to the story and Dcm hasn't really said much besides he has anger issues (with her). I really hope it's just simple pickups!
There is no reason for pick up to be awkward. Their relationship is none of your concern, be your normal cordial self.I have a dcb whose parents are going through a divorce because dcm says dcd was abusive and she wasn't going to put up with it anymore (not sure if it was physical or mental or what). They have been separated since the middle of the summer. Dcd moved about 20 minutes away so dcm has been picking up (dcd used to the majority of the time) and I haven't seen dad since around July. Often times mom would pick up in a hurry saying "I can't be late dropping off M to B, he is going to scream at me".
Now dcd has moved back to this side of town and will be picking up on his days.
Pickup is just going to be so awkward. I don't know what he thinks I know or if he thinks I think of him in a certain way because of the divorce and the nature of it. I know there are two sides to the story and Dcm hasn't really said much besides he has anger issues (with her). I really hope it's just simple pickups!
Heidi 10:36 AM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
There is no reason for pick up to be awkward. Their relationship is none of your concern, be your normal cordial self.
There is no reason for pick up to be awkward. Their relationship is none of your concern, be your normal cordial self.
Unless he's ever been rude or mean to you, I would not treat him any differently than you did before. I'd be likely to say something like "hey there, stranger, welcome back!"
If you had any evidence that he hurt anyone (like a conviction), that'd be different. Otherwise, it's just hearsay.
jojosmommy 11:20 AM 11-13-2013
I would be direct. I would say," missed seeing you (child) is excited you are picking up today."
I would hand him an extra business card, remind him that you are the CHILD'S advocate and he can call with any concerns about (child) anytime.
Ask him if his number is still current, if there is another way to stay connected (email maybe?).
Make sure he sees you as an ally for his kids.
I would hand him an extra business card, remind him that you are the CHILD'S advocate and he can call with any concerns about (child) anytime.
Ask him if his number is still current, if there is another way to stay connected (email maybe?).
Make sure he sees you as an ally for his kids.
MotherNature 11:59 AM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Unless he's ever been rude or mean to you, I would not treat him any differently than you did before. I'd be likely to say something like "hey there, stranger, welcome back!"
If you had any evidence that he hurt anyone (like a conviction), that'd be different. Otherwise, it's just hearsay.
Agreed.Unless he's ever been rude or mean to you, I would not treat him any differently than you did before. I'd be likely to say something like "hey there, stranger, welcome back!"
If you had any evidence that he hurt anyone (like a conviction), that'd be different. Otherwise, it's just hearsay.
melilley 12:13 PM 11-13-2013
He's never been mean or rude or anything. I just feel awkward, I guess just because I haven't seen him in a long time (I feel awkward anytime I haven't seen someone for a long time). I'll just pretend like it's just like before as I'm not taking sides. I'm sure it will go fine!
Heidi 12:15 PM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by melilley:
He's never been mean or rude or anything. I just feel awkward, I guess just because I haven't seen him in a long time (I feel awkward anytime I haven't seen someone for a long time). I'll just pretend like it's just like before as I'm not taking sides. I'm sure it will go fine!
He's never been mean or rude or anything. I just feel awkward, I guess just because I haven't seen him in a long time (I feel awkward anytime I haven't seen someone for a long time). I'll just pretend like it's just like before as I'm not taking sides. I'm sure it will go fine!
You know there are always 2 sides to every story. Maybe be his a big ole' jerk, or maybe not.
misslori50 02:10 PM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by melilley:
He's never been mean or rude or anything. I just feel awkward, I guess just because I haven't seen him in a long time (I feel awkward anytime I haven't seen someone for a long time). I'll just pretend like it's just like before as I'm not taking sides. I'm sure it will go fine!
Just be welcoming. Let him know he is welcomeHe's never been mean or rude or anything. I just feel awkward, I guess just because I haven't seen him in a long time (I feel awkward anytime I haven't seen someone for a long time). I'll just pretend like it's just like before as I'm not taking sides. I'm sure it will go fine!