Last Wednesday one of my childcare kiddos fell from and got a concussion while under my care. I have obviously been beating myself up and hurting more than words can express since it happened. I was right there in the room, but it happened SO fast that there was not anything I could have done. I called 911 immediately and soon after her parents who gave them permission to transport her. I called the parents a little later and left a voicemail expressing my concern. I got a phone call back with the mom understandably mad and yelling at me, which I expected as a parent myself. However, they didn't keep me in the loop at all and have let their anger grow. I love that little girl, as do my kids, and my other childcare kiddo, so it really hurt to not know what was going on. They didn't stay at the hospital for long, but still wouldn't return anything from me. I have reached out to them numerous times and only finally just heard back from them yesterday. The phone call was less than pleasant. She spent a good time harassing me, calling me names, yelling, and more, which was followed by the dad (who has since blocked me) posted a status on Facebook asking for suggestions for a lawyer to sue a daycare, which was then followed by another harassing and just down right mean text message. It's been a very difficult week for me as it is.. I feel horrible for what happened and it is eating at me, not knowing or being able to see her was killing me, and now the parents reacting this way hurts so much. I am just so lost and confused on where to go from here.

Reply

First of all - I think you really need to stop beating yourself up. Yes, a child got hurt but it sounds like she is going to be okay. The parents have a right to get angry BUT they have absolutely NO right to call you names, yell at you, harassing you, etc. I personally would cease all communication with them - you have reached out & they have rebuffed your efforts with nastiness. Have you contacted licensing/your insurance company? Do you have anything that parents signed stating you are not responsible for medical fees associated with accidents occuring at daycare. I don't have much advice but wanted to say I am sorry this happened.

Reply

Exactly how did the child get hurt, your post didn't really explain what happened. Without knowing that information it's hard to say if the parents are being fair or unfair in this situation. Are you licensed?

Reply

I have stopped communication and didn't reply to that last text and am working on all the stuff with insurance and what have you. I am not really looking for advice, so don't worry about that, I feel like all the things that need to be in place are or being worked on.... just need some comfort as it's been such a hard, hard time.

Reply

Don't beat yourself up. Kids get hurt all the time. Are they going to sue the school if their child gets hurt at school????? Don't let them get to you. Maybe they just posted that on Facebook because they know you would see it. Some parents just need to grow up and accept that kids get hurt and sometimes there is nothing you can do.

Hugs to you!!!

Reply

Kids have accidents, get hurt, it's just a fact of life...My own DD was in those footed pj's when she was about 1 1/2, slipped on the floor and got a really bad cut on her chin. I was standing right NEXT to her and couldn't catch her fast enough. Sure, I felt horrible but there was nothing I could do, sometimes things happen and I can guarantee one of these times it will happen on their watch!

Reply

I too would like to know exactly what happened. Not to judge you, I'm just curious and I think it would help to understand the situation better.

I'm sorry the parents are treating you this way. The Facebook post was completely out of line and I agree with the PP that likened it to suing the school if the child was hurt there. It's ridiculous.

I could see if it was something neglectful and the child was hurt as a result of that but I'm gathering that this was one of those fast happening freak accidents. Am I right?

:Hugs:

I hope everything works out for you.

Reply

Okay, maybe I'm just laid back but....

I'm a parent, and I cannot see EVER getting that angry at someone just because my child got hurt in their care. Well maybe not "ever", if the person had been truly negligent (truly, not just "out of the room" or "looking the other way") or abusive, then maybe. But for most normal accidents under someone's care, I cannot imagine getting that angry, calling names, saying rude and hurtful things, and for the love of sanity I can't imagine suing just because my child got hurt.

I am so sorry that they are acting like that, and I hope, dearly hope, that someday our culture returns to a place of calm and understanding about child behavior and the knowledge that, hey, kids get hurt...and then they get better. It's usually not anyone's fault and anger and legal action are not usually necessary.

Reply

My thoughts exactly. Not knowing what exactly happened makes it hard to comprehend why the parents are acting like this. It's really sad that in this day and age, people are sue happy. Thank goodness the child is okay & I hope things get better for you soon!

Reply

We were all down in the bedroom, she climbed to the top bunk, I was behind her until she got to the top and safely inside (safety bar thing all the way around it). We keep stuffed animals up there, so she was tossing some down with my youngest son (they toss a few down and then climb back down, my youngest is 6 months younger than she is and has been going up and down by himself for about 4 months, only when we are down there, of course. This was this little girl's first time trying), my other DCB had asked me a question, I leaned down to because I couldn't hear her, and in that FAST moment she leaned herself over with the animal too far and fell over.

Reply

Okay, I see.

With this info, I could see how the parents would be upset because she was up there in the first place. The usual age for top bunk usage I think is 5 or 6. I understand that she was only up there for a few seconds and not sleeping..but that was enough for her to get hurt.

I am not trying to be harsh, I'm just trying to explain how the parents might be seeing this.

However, I still hold firm that it was a freak accident. And that their actions since then have been a little over the top. Especially when talking about suing you.

I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. I know you feel horrible but hopefully the parents will calm down soon and you can all talk civilly.

Reply

You made a serious mistake allowing that kid access to that high of a fall zone. You can't compare her to your child because HE can get hurt in your home and unless it is extremely gross negligence NOTHING will happen to you. You can take the risk with your own child. You can't with other people's kids.

You should be completely responsible for the entire medical bill and any damages the parents have for this. This is really serious and you will most likely have some serious consequences.

You need to take some courses and gain some experience caring for children under direct supervision by an experienced person if you want to continue in this business. You need to learn that "in that FAST moment she leaned herself over" so you don't take any fall risks with other peoples kids.

You made two mistakes: Allowing a young child access to a fall zone without having your hands directly on the child to spot and carry their weight the entire time. The second was not understanding the risk with OTHER peoples kids. The fall zone lesson will most likely sway your mind next time... but until you GET that you can't allow OTHER people's children to get hurt you will have these things happen over and over.

There are very precious few accidents that happen when a child is in child care that can't be blamed on direct supervision at all time. Things like kids tripping over their own feet or running head first into a wall... may be deemed as "couldn't be avoided". A fall of that height will NEVER be deemed "accidents will happen" if it happens to a toddler or preschooler in a home setting.

I know you didn't make the mistake intentionally but it was a big mistake nonetheless. You must pay for the mistake and learn.

Reply

Yes, I am aware. I am not saying the parents don't have a right to be mad, but they don't have a right to verbally abuse me. The beds have been taken apart and I would absolutely pay for the medical bills. No reason to sue me for it, just mail them to me.

Reply

I'm sorry, the whole situation sucks, I also can not ever imagine getting so mad at someone, My own son needed staples in his head after he was going down one of those cozy coupe cars at daycare, on her driveway which was a hill, he was not even 2, really she should have been right next to him in that car, but I never blamed her for that, I came picked him up and took him to the ER, She felt awful I knew she didn't intentionally mean for my kid to be hurt, but he was okay, nothing a few staples didn't fix. I never would have even thought about giving her the bills, my only concern was he was okay. I can't believe they are being quite so mean, sounds like a litle over reaction especially if you said you would pay for everything, and you have been sincere in your apologies, my goodness its not like you reached up and pulled her down on her head.

Reply

Did you tell them this in your email?


I personally don't think them going off the rails in this circumstance is verbal abuse. I likely would have done the same myself depending on the age of the child hurt. If she was under the age of 5 or 6 not gonna lie, I'd have had a bird......

Reply

Yes, I have told them I would pay for their medical bills and parking fees. I also told them I didn't cash their check for the week and to let me know what I owe them for food expenses (also offered to bring meals and such). I have not written what they have said to me. It is indeed, without a doubt, verbal abuse. It is one thing to yell and be mad, but they went and continue (via text messages and voicemails) to go beyond that.

Reply

Hugs! I am sure that was very scary for everyone involved. Glad your LO was okay.

Reply

I had a boy push another boy and that boy ended up getting 3 stitches close to his eye. The 2 moms work together and it was a pretty hard time between all of us. The boy who pushed had other instances of aggression soon after and I termed him. The mom of the boy who was hurt was very understanding. I was a mess! I am very cautious but you can't prevent everything. I would have never allowed a child to get on a bunk bed though. Lesson learned the hard way. I do appreciate your sharing and honesty. Good luck to you.

Reply

I keep looking, has the age of the child been disclosed?

I take my kids to the park sometimes. Is this something I shouldn't be doing?

Reply

Thanks. It really was a stupid mistake. Something I have never allowed the other children to do before.. it was dumb to let her and I know that... definitely lesson learned.

Reply

Three.

Reply

We all make mistakes. Sometimes we are lucky and nothing happens. Sometimes we are not so lucky. Maybe you should take a picture of the beds taken down. Who knows, you might benefit from proving you we're proactive in finding a solution.

Reply

Ideally, you would want everything on paper, and mailed return-receipt for proof. After you have a lawyer look at it, so that you dont put yourself into a bigger financial situtation. Just let the parents know all further communication will be via mail, and ignore the rest.

Do you have daycare insurance? Unfortunately, the likelihood of your insurance paying on a bunk bed fall is very low. Most/Many insurance will not pay out on preventable injuries like this of a known hazard. Like if a child gets lead poisioning b/c you have recalled toys, like an injury due to setting baby in a bumbo on the table, or a if child strangles due to the cords in window blinds.

A bunk bed is the same thing...it is a well known, preventable hazard, and there was absolutely no reason in the world that would be acceptable as to why a child was injured in one at daycare. As a parent, I would NOT consider this a freak accident...there should have never even been an opportunity for an accident. A freak accident would be a kid running into the wall, bouncing off, and getting concussion.

Reply

Wow! I am so sorry this happen. I do think it was a mistake, but we all make mistakes, we care for so many kids at a time and we can't be next to all of them at the exact same time. Your mistake was allowing the child to get up there, Ok so you learn and move on. I don't believe that you are a bad caregiver, obviously you care for this child and are very concerned, give the family some time, pray about it, there is absolutely no need for verbal abuse, I am a mom my self and can't see me reacting like that in a situation where I know there was no harm intended. Give them time, IDK maybe send them one last e-mail where you say how you feel plus your intentions of paying their bills and end it telling them to contact you when they feel is the best moment for them and wait. Maybe call your licencor and ask her/him what would be your best move.

Hang in there

Reply

Pay attention to the ages the equipment is rated for. Our playground just put in new equipment so the ratings are right on the side. When I take the kids we stay on the equipment rated for ages 2 (and up) It's lower to the ground so they can climb independently. I still watch/spot but if they fall it's not as if they are falling from something they *shouldn't* be on.
If the older kids complain of boredom or having to stay on "baby" equipment, I just tell them they can use the other things when they go with their parents

Reply

I absolutely agree.

Reply