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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Long to Wait to Call Again?
sahm2three 06:59 AM 06-25-2010
Ugh! I have a sick kiddo today. His fever is about 102.5 and stomach ache. Makes me wonder if he was not feeling well before drop off as by breakfast time he was not feeling well. I called and texted about 45 minutes ago, have heard nothing back. Betting I don't hear anything until much much later. So what do you do? I don't want to deal with someone elses kids puke if I don't have to.
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tmcp2001 07:03 AM 06-25-2010
Honestly, if I couldn't reach the parents right away I'd start calling emergency contacts. My guess is that the parents were totally aware that their child wasn't feeling well and could be avoiding your call. Maybe they'll get how serious you are about your illness policy if you send the kid home with grandma/aunty/friend. Ugh. Parents. Good luck!!
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Golden Rule 07:31 AM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by tmcp2001:
Honestly, if I couldn't reach the parents right away I'd start calling emergency contacts.
Could not agree more.....
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jen 07:33 AM 06-25-2010
Yep....start calling!
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Pammie 07:33 AM 06-25-2010
I give parents 30 minutes to respond to a text or message left for them. If I don't hear back within that 30 minutes, I start calling their emergency contacts.
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misol 07:47 AM 06-25-2010
Agree with previous posters.
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momofboys 07:49 AM 06-25-2010
How frustrating for you! I'd definitely call again & again until I get a response. Then call emergency contacts for sure.
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sahm2three 08:27 AM 06-25-2010
Got someone! He is picked up! I hope he feels better, poor guy! Thanks for all the replies!
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professionalmom 08:28 AM 06-25-2010
I would start calling the emergency contacts - every single one, if I had to. If I still do not get a response, I would call the parents again, then cycle through the emergency contacts and keep repeating until someone responded. Sound like harassment? Sure. But they would not have a leg to stand on due to the fact that you are caring for their child and the child is SICK. It is an emergency. If I couldn't reach anyone within 1 hour, I would simply tell the parents (when I see them) that this WILL NOT be tolerated again and that they have their notice that you will terminate if it ever happens again and they will owe for 2 weeks of fees.
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Aya477 09:23 AM 06-25-2010
Please don't jump all over me as I anticipate you to, but I must know why providers automatically assume the parents knew the child was running a fever before drop off? Adults and children can spike fevers suddenly. That's generally how fevers appear--rapid and sudden. There is no crystal ball letting us know that at 8:45am, a child will have a fever.

Sure, there are parents who abuse the sick policy and drop their child off anyway. But for the folks who chimed in with the agreement or conclusion that the parent did know the child had a fever beforehand....why?? There was no mention from the OP that this is typical of the parent to do. So why jump on the wagon and blast the parent when you do not know. You're assuming and speculating....the very thing each of you hate for us parents to do when we assume our child got an illness while in your care, or assume our child got a scrape or bump while in your care. You do not want a parent doing it to you so why not abide by the same standard?
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momofboys 09:33 AM 06-25-2010
I am curious to know why it took them so lonmg to respond to your text & voicemail. What was their excuse?

To Aya477, we all sometimes assume the worst b/c we have all been in that position. Just a few weeks ago a parent dropped off a child & said he had been "teething" & he had had a temp of 99.4 (Still okay with me) but seconds after she left I swiped his forehead & lo & behold it was 100.3!! And she told me she gave Tylenol for his pain. So this was his temp on meds! I guess we have all dealt with some of the worst at times so we tend to think that way. But you are right, not all parents would deliberately bring a sick child to care.
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boysx5 09:44 AM 06-25-2010
well last week I had a parent drop off by nap time we she had a fever of 102.9 called and both parents work a hour away so it took them time to get here. The next day she asked if they could come a few hours because she said no fever she was feeling better I should not have let her come but since they were the only family coming that day I did. Well she picked up by three and I said she seemed fine today but 102.9 is kinda high and usually means and infection of some sort. Well she then tells me I think its her wisdom teeth she's two I said thats funny I don't have my wisdom teeth yet. So yes we get all kinds of stories so we always assume the worst because nine out of ten times it is
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Lilbutterflie 09:47 AM 06-25-2010
Aya477; I agree that we should not always assume the worst from the parents. You are right, a child can be perfectly fine one moment, and fever the next. Though about 70% of the time I can tell when my kids or a dck is about to get sick, b/c the day before they will just have an out-of-character BAD day!

But in defense, only one of the providers agreed about the parent knowing the child was sick beforehand. The rest were mainly expressing frustration on not being able to get a hold of the parents; and why they were not answering calls/texts. That's the main complaint, I think anyone can sympathize with that!!
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professionalmom 10:11 AM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Aya477:
Please don't jump all over me as I anticipate you to, but I must know why providers automatically assume the parents knew the child was running a fever before drop off? Adults and children can spike fevers suddenly. That's generally how fevers appear--rapid and sudden. There is no crystal ball letting us know that at 8:45am, a child will have a fever.

Sure, there are parents who abuse the sick policy and drop their child off anyway. But for the folks who chimed in with the agreement or conclusion that the parent did know the child had a fever beforehand....why?? There was no mention from the OP that this is typical of the parent to do. So why jump on the wagon and blast the parent when you do not know. You're assuming and speculating....the very thing each of you hate for us parents to do when we assume our child got an illness while in your care, or assume our child got a scrape or bump while in your care. You do not want a parent doing it to you so why not abide by the same standard?
I am not jumping on your case. I know that can sometimes be inferred in written text, but it not my intention. To answer your question, you are right that we all do assume things from time to time. However, many times, our assumptions are based on our past experiences. Most, if not all, of us have at some point had a parent give a sick kid Tylenol or Motrin, then dump the kid off with us. It does happen a lot. Plus, based on my experience (over 25 years of caring for children), 95% of the time, temperatures spike when the child is sleeping. So I would find it difficult to believe that a child woke up perfectly fine with no sign of illness, then an hour or two later spiked a temperature. It seems HIGHLY suspicious to me, based on all my experience. Now this particular child could be in the 5% that spiked while (s)he was awake, so I could be wrong in my assumption.

I hope that answered your question without offending you or making you feel jumped on.
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Aya477 10:14 AM 06-25-2010
Perhaps there weren't several comments specifying the opinion that the parent knew in this particular thread, but in other threads the same logic has been expressed multiple times and I couldn't resist an inquiry.

I do understand that there are those parents that you regularly deal with that cause grief but more often than not, the posts on this site always point negatively to the parents (and sometimes the children). As a parent, it does concern me that a vast majority of providers (as interpreted from the variety of comments made on this site) group all parents into the same wastebasket....a basket for the worthless, irritating, thankless, and dishonest parents that have come across your paths whether occasionally or regularly. It frustrates me that providers hold parents at a higher standard than themselves and that the worse is automatically assumed of the parent.
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momofboys 10:26 AM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Aya477:
Perhaps there weren't several comments specifying the opinion that the parent knew in this particular thread, but in other threads the same logic has been expressed multiple times and I couldn't resist an inquiry.

I do understand that there are those parents that you regularly deal with that cause grief but more often than not, the posts on this site always point negatively to the parents (and sometimes the children). As a parent, it does concern me that a vast majority of providers (as interpreted from the variety of comments made on this site) group all parents into the same wastebasket....a basket for the worthless, irritating, thankless, and dishonest parents that have come across your paths whether occasionally or regularly. It frustrates me that providers hold parents at a higher standard than themselves and that the worse is automatically assumed of the parent.
I have only cared for three families & of the three I cared for two of them did things I would NEVER consider doing. I also WOH part-time after I had kids so I have been on both sides of the boat so to speak. And yes two of these sets of parents met the description you typed above to a certain degree. They were disrespectful to me (would not pick up at closing time) on MANY occasions, would never tell me of schedule changes that affected my day, never thanked me for gifts I got for the kids & I had to often ask for my pay. I just know when I was working outside the home I always had my check ready for my provider, always was on time & usually early & I did things for my provider (bought her flowers on her birthday, gave her Christmas gifts, etc). Now I have another set of parents & I ADORE them. I have yet to complain about them. The mom sends me notes telling me about schedule changes, they have picked up early EVERY day & she has already given me her schedule for the fall (Wow, 3 months on advance!!!). These are the dream parents. What you don't realize is the reason you see so many BAD posts so-to-speak is because as providers we post about the bad ones b/c we need help knowing how to deal with them. We don't need help with the good parents so they unfortunately don't get mentioned as often.
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sahm2three 11:12 AM 06-25-2010
The reason I said I wondered if he wasn't feeling well before is because I actually commented that his eyes didn't look right when she dropped him off. Mom didn't really say anything about it. So I wondered if maybe he had complained before. But all is well, because he was picked up!
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Janet 11:54 AM 06-25-2010
To Aya, I believe that the point of the original post was about being frustrated with not being able to reach the parent of the sick child. I really don't like being put in that position myself and I can imagine that no other providers on this board like it either. I am a mother as well as a daycare provider, so I think that having experience in the role of a WOH mother and a daycare provider gives me a perspective on a the OP's situation. I always made sure that my provider could reach me or my husband when our daughter was in daycare. There is absolutely no reason that a parent can't be reached with all of the electronic devices that everyone seems to have these days! Both myself and my husband were accessible throughout the day and this was during a time when neither of us had cellphones or pagers or anything else other than a phone number at our workplaces to reach us at.

Yes, it's true that I hold my daycare children & parents to a high standard, but they hold me to a high standard as well. That's a good thing, though. I'm thankful that I have families that have high expectations of me because it shows me that they really care about the level of care that I provide for their children. I think that they are glad that I have high expectations of them as well because I believe that shows them that I approach my role as a provider very seriously and they know that I am helping their children build strong foundations from which they will continue to grow from after they've aged out of my daycare. I have had families in the past that didn't either didn't have any regard for my policies or had expectations that were outside of what I offer. In either case, none of those families are with me any longer and in every case, it was me who ended the business relationship.

The families that are currently in my care are all wonderful. They trust me and they are all very happy with the care that I provide to their children. I love that they honor the policies that I have set and they take in interest in what their children learn with me.

Sometimes providers and families will hit a rough patch with each other and will complain about each other. It happens all of the time. We all get mad at some point, but we work it out one way or another. If I have a gripe about a parent you can rest assured that if it's something that I vent about here, I will most definitely have addressed it with the parents or the child.

Out of curiosity, are you a daycare provider?
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Aya477 12:49 PM 06-25-2010
To Janet:
Yep, the original purpose was to ask how long she should wait. I recognize that but it also sparked my curiosity (again) as to why it is typically assumed that the parents knew their child was sick from Op's comments and the following poster's remark. I can't think of a single thread in any forum that always stays on topic just as others reminded OP to state her sick policy again (as if the parent did something wrong) or if OP even asked for advice on the sick policy. No need to point that out to me.

I don't know anything about the child the OP referred to or his/her parents. I am ALWAYS on the phone or in a meeting at work, and likely may not be able to return a message from my provider timely. On occasion, I will leave my cell out in the car to charge if I forgot to do so overnight and thus would not be reached on an "electronic device". Nor would I answer my cell phone if I were on the phone with a client or in a meeting. My hubby is rarely in his office and calling his cell is futile as well because he is involved in events with clients for his job 4/5 days a week. So if by chance he and I were involved in something at work and unavailable when our provider calls, we would also be talked about, huh?

I am a parent but I don't know how that is relevant. I do not have to be a provider or ever have been a provider to understand the need for mutual respect. But if it is important to you, then I will tell you that I have never been a provider (and do not desire to be) and can give you a parent-only perspective. Because of atrocious experiences with my son's childcare, I only wish I could give the closed minded providers a perspective from a parent that would enlighten them to change their mentality.

So you may not be one of those providers who routinely complain or rather complain to everyone else except the person who is the source of aggravation. But clearly there are those here.

I believe someone else commented on the site being for providers who are asking eachother for advice. I see that just as in an equal percentage see others complaining about parents and children.
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nannyde 12:59 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Aya477:
As a parent, it does concern me that a vast majority of providers (as interpreted from the variety of comments made on this site) group all parents into the same wastebasket....a basket for the worthless, irritating, thankless, and dishonest parents that have come across your paths whether occasionally or regularly. It frustrates me that providers hold parents at a higher standard than themselves and that the worse is automatically assumed of the parent.
I guess you have to do day care for a bit to get it. I think most of us have had many many many situations where parents intentionally bring their sick child to day care knowing full welll that the day care policies prohibit the child from coming.

I think most of us have had MANY times when children are being doped with tylenol and advil to mask their fevers as the fever is the number one indicator of health and is easily measurable and exact.

I think most of us have had parents lie to us either by omission, minimazation, or a directly about their child's health. We have had kids brought to us who are CLEARLY ill and been told that they have been perfectly fine without ANY illness whatsoever or the illness symptoms that can't be hidden are atrributed to allergies, ear infection, blocked tear ducts, and teething.

I think most providers have had parents who care completely about the health of the other children in the day care BEFORE their child is sick but care nothing about them AFTER their child gets sick.

I think most providers have had many situations where parents knowingly bring their ill child and then refuse to answer any phone calls or messages that will confirm the child is ill and the child has to be removed from day care.

I think most providers have had many situations where parents take off many days off for vacation and personal days and bring their child during most if not all of it but then claim they don't have any paid days to take off when their own child is sick. We rarely see any kind of planning for the inevitable illness young children will have.

If you think the state of current parenting is good you are wrong. Yes there are always some parents out there who do the right thing most of the time but as a veteran of 31 years in child care, I can assure you that population is dwindling to the point of near extinction. We have all lived long enough and cared for children long enough to know there are exceptions to the rule but they ARE indeed exceptions.
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nannyde 01:26 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Aya477:
I don't know anything about the child the OP referred to or his/her parents. I am ALWAYS on the phone or in a meeting at work, and likely may not be able to return a message from my provider timely. On occasion, I will leave my cell out in the car to charge if I forgot to do so overnight and thus would not be reached on an "electronic device". Nor would I answer my cell phone if I were on the phone with a client or in a meeting. My hubby is rarely in his office and calling his cell is futile as well because he is involved in events with clients for his job 4/5 days a week. So if by chance he and I were involved in something at work and unavailable when our provider calls, we would also be talked about, huh?
You would be at my house. How dare you forget to charge your cell phone? What the heck are you thinking when you have phone lines available yet your provider can't get thru to you? What the heck is that? Yes you would be talked about. That's rediculous.

I've been a parent for ten years and I can tell you that there hasn't been a single second that whoever has my kid can't get ahold of me. I keep my cell phone CHARGED when he's not with me. I keep a call waiting service so his school can beep thru if they need me. YES you need to be available every second. Sheesh... we don't live in the 1800's. We have telephones and cell phones. NOT acceptable.

Originally Posted by Aya477:
I am a parent but I don't know how that is relevant. I do not have to be a provider or ever have been a provider to understand the need for mutual respect. But if it is important to you, then I will tell you that I have never been a provider (and do not desire to be) and can give you a parent-only perspective. Because of atrocious experiences with my son's childcare, I only wish I could give the closed minded providers a perspective from a parent that would enlighten them to change their mentality.
Closed minded? Are you serious? How about this? If you or your representative who can authorize medical care and pick your child up when they are ill are NOT available immediately for notification and quickly for pick up then you have no business using child care. If you can't work it out that SOMEONE is immediately available then you should not leave your child in care.

You are not ENTITLED to have someone else deal with your sick kid while you are on the phone with a client. You are not ENTITLED to not keep your cell phone charged if that is the contact number left for the person caring for your kid.

And ya wonder why we complain about parents. Wonder no more.
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Crystal 02:11 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Aya477:
Perhaps there weren't several comments specifying the opinion that the parent knew in this particular thread, but in other threads the same logic has been expressed multiple times and I couldn't resist an inquiry.

I do understand that there are those parents that you regularly deal with that cause grief but more often than not, the posts on this site always point negatively to the parents (and sometimes the children). As a parent, it does concern me that a vast majority of providers (as interpreted from the variety of comments made on this site) group all parents into the same wastebasket....a basket for the worthless, irritating, thankless, and dishonest parents that have come across your paths whether occasionally or regularly. It frustrates me that providers hold parents at a higher standard than themselves and that the worse is automatically assumed of the parent.
Aya, I have to say, even as a provider, I agree with you. I feel it is completely unfair to lump all parents in the same category and to automatically assume that they are being neglectful. While we do all encounter issues with parents from time to time, it isn't fair to assume that because one parent did it to us two years ago, that ALL parents are guilty of the same.

I also cannot stand it when providers talk negatively about their families, and you're right, it does seem to happen alot. It's unprofessional and it makes me wonder how they stay in business....especially when it is on a public forum that any of their families could stumble across. But, alas, you will never get through to those who choose to do it

(OP, I am NOT directing that at you, I know you were just concerned about the child)

On another note, as a parent, you should make sure that your provider can reach you at a moments notice....in the event of an emergency, you would feel horrible if your child desperately needed you and you could not be reached.
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nannyde 02:24 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I also cannot stand it when providers talk negatively about their families, and you're right, it does seem to happen alot. It's unprofessional and it makes me wonder how they stay in business....especially when it is on a public forum that any of their families could stumble across. But, alas, you will never get through to those who choose to do it
Like this?



http://www.childcareprovidersunite.o...php?f=1&t=1855
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Janet 02:46 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Aya477:
To Janet:
Yep, the original purpose was to ask how long she should wait. I recognize that but it also sparked my curiosity (again) as to why it is typically assumed that the parents knew their child was sick from Op's comments and the following poster's remark. I can't think of a single thread in any forum that always stays on topic just as others reminded OP to state her sick policy again (as if the parent did something wrong) or if OP even asked for advice on the sick policy. No need to point that out to me.

I don't know anything about the child the OP referred to or his/her parents. I am ALWAYS on the phone or in a meeting at work, and likely may not be able to return a message from my provider timely. On occasion, I will leave my cell out in the car to charge if I forgot to do so overnight and thus would not be reached on an "electronic device". Nor would I answer my cell phone if I were on the phone with a client or in a meeting. My hubby is rarely in his office and calling his cell is futile as well because he is involved in events with clients for his job 4/5 days a week. So if by chance he and I were involved in something at work and unavailable when our provider calls, we would also be talked about, huh? There is NEVER a reason why a parent should not be available to reach in case of an emergency! There is no meeting that is too important to answer a call from your provider. So yes, if your provider has to wait for an hour to reach you when your child is sick, then you'd better believe that you would be talked about! Unless you have the gift of precognition, then you can't say with any degree of certainty that a call from your provider wouldn't be an emergency.
I am a parent but I don't know how that is relevant. I do not have to be a provider or ever have been a provider to understand the need for mutual respect. But if it is important to you, then I will tell you that I have never been a provider (and do not desire to be) and can give you a parent-only perspective. Because of atrocious experiences with my son's childcare, I only wish I could give the closed minded providers a perspective from a parent that would enlighten them to change their mentality. Seriously? You really believe that you can give us a different point of reference? You can't. Do you think that none of us has never has terrible daycare experiences? The experience that I had with a daycare that my daughter attended as an infant still makes me feel sick to this day! I'm not opposed to hearing what parents have to say. In fact, I like it. As far as the relevancy of my question is concerned, I would say that it's very relevant.
So you may not be one of those providers who routinely complain or rather complain to everyone else except the person who is the source of aggravation. But clearly there are those here.

I believe someone else commented on the site being for providers who are asking eachother for advice. I see that just as in an equal percentage see others complaining about parents and children.
Are you saying that you never feel the need to vent about your daycare? If that's the case, than God bless you, because you are one of a kind! Sometimes people just need to know that there is someone out there who can understand what they are experiencing. Sometimes just having someone to gripe to about a situation regarding a child or parent can release the negative energy that a person might be feeling. Sometimes just being able to express your feelings can help you see a situation from a completely different vantage point.
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Janet 02:53 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Like this?

When you live in a glass house, it's really best not to throw stones. How are you any different? How are you any more professional that any other provider who has complaints about feeling disrespected? Just asking.


http://www.childcareprovidersunite.o...php?f=1&t=1855
Good catch, Nan.
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Vesta 02:59 PM 06-25-2010
Thank you Janet.
We can talk with others about the good stuff.
Not supposed to be talk about the negative because it's unprofessional. We are expected to suck it up and drive on.
This forum helps. Stuff usually doesn't look so awful once it's written down and it's good just to get it off the chest instead of festering inside.
Bad feelings need an outlet and this forum is a safe place to let them out a bit.
It also is very helpful to know I'm not on this big old daycare boat all by myself and that others have been there, done that, lived through it, what changes they made to make sure it didn't happen again and OMG they did what!
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Crystal 03:31 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Like this?



http://www.childcareprovidersunite.o...php?f=1&t=1855
While that can be taken as talking negatively about families, I am not trashing families and saying that they lie to me, take advantage of me, use me, disrespect me, etc. THAT is what I see here all the time.

But, sure, like that. I'll admit, I have my moments, BUT, have you EVER seen me talk crap about all of my families and lump ALL parents into the same ball? No. Do providers here do that daily? Yes.
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Crystal 03:32 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Janet:
Are you saying that you never feel the need to vent about your daycare? If that's the case, than God bless you, because you are one of a kind! Sometimes people just need to know that there is someone out there who can understand what they are experiencing. Sometimes just having someone to gripe to about a situation regarding a child or parent can release the negative energy that a person might be feeling. Sometimes just being able to express your feelings can help you see a situation from a completely different vantage point.

Oh, no, I definitely vent from time to time. But I usually use my assistant/hubby or a close friend as a sounding board. And, I usually do it with the intention of resolving issues, not just to vent and talk badly about people.
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nannyde 03:40 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
While that can be taken as talking negatively about families, I am not trashing families and saying that they lie to me, take advantage of me, use me, disrespect me, etc. THAT is what I see here all the time.

But, sure, like that. I'll admit, I have my moments, BUT, have you EVER seen me talk crap about all of my families and lump ALL parents into the same ball? No. Do providers here do that daily? Yes.
You accused your parents of IGNORING their children and only meeting their basic needs. I think that's a heck of a lot stronger than saying a parent lied to a provider about a child's health.

Now, I started thinking, if these children are basically being ignored when with family, except to meet basic needs and be supplied with extra stuff to amuse them while mom and Dad live their own lives, how does it effect their behavior?

So yeah... you are in the same realm as other posters here. That's talking "crap". You were just telling the truth in that post.

Some of us use this board to vent.
Some of us use this board to teach.
Some of us use this board to learn.
Some of us use this board to advertise their business when they are low on kids.
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Crystal 03:41 PM 06-25-2010
LOL! After thinking about it, I relaized that nanny had to read through HUNDREDS of posts to find that! lol! Hope you had fun!

BTW, I blocked guest access to my forum. If you'd like to read the post Nanny linked to, feel free to pm me ad I'll send it to you, or register on the forum and you can see ALL of my posts, where you will find very little in the way of my ever being unprofessional.
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Aya477 03:53 PM 06-25-2010
at Janet again:
You better believe that if I am in a meeting, I could not leave to take a phone call unless a receptionist was told it was an emergency. I do not take my cell phone to meetings because I find it unprofessional to see others fiddling with their phones while in a meeting. It signals that you are more interested in your little blackberry or text message than you are in the matter at hand. I am career oriented as well as family oriented. I do need my job and the salary it provides for my family just as many of you accept parents and children in situations that are less than ideal because you want the income. So we really aren't much different, are we? You do not know me or my work situation to make any type of determination on what is acceptable in my work place or not or what type of parent I am (nice jab, nanny). As far as not charging my cell--are we not all human? Do we not all get carried away with day to day activities and forgot things occasionally? I suppose you are perfect and never make a mistake or forget anything from time to time. I didn't say it was a routine thing to forget to charge my phone--I said OCCASIONALLY.

My child's provider has my office line and my cell line. They have my hubby's office and his cell. They have our emergency contacts. Fortunately, there has never been an emergency arise and the few times I have been contacted by his daycare for non-emergencies, I have been available. They also have authorization to transport him to the ER if they cannot contact me and can do so because they are a daycare center and not an in home provider limited to one individual caring for a number of children. Here is a perfect example of where IF a provider could see things from a parent's perspective then they would be more understanding of a parent's situation (say, when you can't reach Mom). More understanding of eachother is needed to be able to function harmonically. And more understanding and respect of eachother would most likely eliminate alot of the need to vent.

And you don't think a parent can help you see another perspective but yet you go to a website to get advice from your counterparts...counterparts that know nothing about your business setup, your strategy, your beliefs, observed you as a provider, observed the children under your care, etc? You believe those people can help you see a different vantage point but you don't believe that I could? Am I interpreting that correctly even though you go on to say that you like to hear from parents? That seems rather oxymoronic and hypocritcal. If you don't think I can help you see a different perspective, then why? What makes me different from the counterparts you are open to ideas from? Is it because I am a parent and never been a provider? I didn't say I'm trying to change the world. I said because of my experiences, I only wish I could help the closed minded providers see a different perspective. I didn't say I'm the only person that has had bad experiences and am the sole individual that could help merge provider/parent relationships. Providers should appreciate that there are parents that exist who see there is strain in the parent/provider dynamic and would like to help each other understand the other better. And NO, I absolutely do not think it is prudent to know if I am a parent, provider, alien, or ghost. It makes no difference when speaking about basic social concepts such as respect, trust, and understanding. It shows that you automatically discredit me because I am not a provider and that is quite a shame.

I am not one of those parents that should be grouped into the lump of displeasurable parents. I am an involved parent. I stay at home with my son some days just because I want to. If he is sick, I keep him home. I pay daycare on time every month--$903/month for one child (almost 4yo). Is child care perfect? No, no child care setting is perfect for ANY parent. But if we can all respect each other's opinions and each other as human beings and cease the assumptions, it certainly would be a better experience for all of us.
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momofboys 03:54 PM 06-25-2010
Why is it so terrible to talk poorly about our clients if it is the truth? Why must a provider just "shut up & take the abuse" so to speak? Is it okay if my clients pick up late, give no notice, expect credits for themselves when they take time off, expect me to give plenty of notice for days off, etc. Yet when the ball is in my court it's unacceptable for me to expect the same courtesy from my families or at least it is seen as unacceptable to post about it on this forum. Not everyone talks poorly about their clients. But some of us need to be able to vent. Friends & family typically can't quite understand what a provider goes through. Only other providers understand & that is why there are numerous vents on this board. Because other daycare providers "get it" like no parent can!
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Janet 03:55 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
LOL! After thinking about it, I relaized that nanny had to read through HUNDREDS of posts to find that! lol! Hope you had fun!

BTW, I blocked guest access to my forum. If you'd like to read the post Nanny linked to, feel free to pm me ad I'll send it to you, or register on the forum and you can see ALL of my posts, where you will find very little in the way of my ever being unprofessional.
I have to say that it was a nice change to read something that you wrote that had a spark of authenticity to it. It's a refreshing change to see you have a human moment. Does it ever occur to you that you come across to some people as having a massive ego? You make it seem like you are the consummate professional and that we could all learn alot from you. I have no doubt that you probably do have a lot of information that I could benefit from, because I know that I don't have all of the answers, but a lot of your posts have a condescending tone.
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nannyde 03:58 PM 06-25-2010
After thinking about it, I relaized that nanny had to read through HUNDREDS of posts to find that! lol! Hope you had fun!

Yup that's what I do.

BTW, I blocked guest access to my forum.

Yeah knew that would happen.

If you'd like to read the post Nanny linked to, feel free to pm me ad I'll send it to you, or register on the forum.

Or they could feel free to PM me.

and you can see ALL of my posts, where you will find very little in the way of my ever being unprofessional

Only takes one.
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jen 03:59 PM 06-25-2010
Yep, the original purpose was to ask how long she should wait. I recognize that but it also sparked my curiosity (again) as to why it is typically assumed that the parents knew their child was sick from Op's comments and the following poster's remark. I can't think of a single thread in any forum that always stays on topic just as others reminded OP to state her sick policy again (as if the parent did something wrong) or if OP even asked for advice on the sick policy. No need to point that out to me.

I don't know anything about the child the OP referred to or his/her parents. I am ALWAYS on the phone or in a meeting at work, and likely may not be able to return a message from my provider timely. On occasion, I will leave my cell out in the car to charge if I forgot to do so overnight and thus would not be reached on an "electronic device". Nor would I answer my cell phone if I were on the phone with a client or in a meeting. My hubby is rarely in his office and calling his cell is futile as well because he is involved in events with clients for his job 4/5 days a week. So if by chance he and I were involved in something at work and unavailable when our provider calls, we would also be talked about, huh?

Seriously...you think forgetting to charge your cell phone is a VALID excuse for not being available to your provider? That's not a valid excuse for my 16 year old not calling me to tell me he plans on being 10 minutes late. Would I talk about you? I would talk to you...and after you left I'm sure my husband would get an earful as well. What could you possibly be "involved in" that is more important than your child????

I am a parent but I don't know how that is relevant. I do not have to be a provider or ever have been a provider to understand the need for mutual respect. But if it is important to you, then I will tell you that I have never been a provider (and do not desire to be) and can give you a parent-only perspective. Because of atrocious experiences with my son's childcare, I only wish I could give the closed minded providers a perspective from a parent that would enlighten them to change their mentality.

I have a feeling that your provider probably felt that the experience was atrocious as well. Perhaps if were more open minded or more attuned to the needs of your child, you would change YOUR mentality. Without fail when I hear providers complain, it is about a lack of parenting. It's ridiculous to expect someone else to deal with your sick child because you forgot your cell phone or are too busy with other, obviously more important things.

So you may not be one of those providers who routinely complain or rather complain to everyone else except the person who is the source of aggravation. But clearly there are those here.

I believe someone else commented on the site being for providers who are asking eachother for advice. I see that just as in an equal percentage see others complaining about parents and children.
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Janet 04:15 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Aya477:
at Janet again:
You better believe that if I am in a meeting, I could not leave to take a phone call unless a receptionist was told it was an emergency. I do not take my cell phone to meetings because I find it unprofessional to see others fiddling with their phones while in a meeting. It signals that you are more interested in your little blackberry or text message than you are in the matter at hand. If it is a call about my child, I AM more interested in my child than the matter at hand. I am career oriented as well as family oriented. I do need my job and the salary it provides for my family just as many of you accept parents and children in situations that are less than ideal because you want the income. So we really aren't much different, are we? You do not know me or my work situation to make any type of determination on what is acceptable in my work place or not or what type of parent I am (nice jab, nanny). As far as not charging my cell--are we not all human? Do we not all get carried away with day to day activities and forgot things occasionally? I suppose you are perfect and never make a mistake or forget anything from time to time. I'm far from perfect. I never said that I was perfect. I know that forgetting things is common, I'm not disputing that. My issue is with NOT taking calls because you are in a meeting, not with forgetting your cell phone. I didn't say it was a routine thing to forget to charge my phone--I said OCCASIONALLY.

My child's provider has my office line and my cell line. They have my hubby's office and his cell. They have our emergency contacts. Fortunately, there has never been an emergency arise and the few times I have been contacted by his daycare for non-emergencies, I have been available. They also have authorization to transport him to the ER if they cannot contact me and can do so because they are a daycare center and not an in home provider limited to one individual caring for a number of children. Actually, every single in-home daycare provider that I know (including myself) has an emergency back up provider available to them in case the need arises to transport a child to the hospital. Here is a perfect example of where IF a provider could see things from a parent's perspective then they would be more understanding of a parent's situation (say, when you can't reach Mom). More understanding of eachother is needed to be able to function harmonically. And more understanding and respect of eachother would most likely eliminate alot of the need to vent. And in what way are you trying to understand the position of the daycare provider who is trying to manage a sick child who needs to be at home and whose parents can't be reached and the other kids who the provider would like to be able to give her attention to? How would that make you feel? Believe me, I understand that it's not always easy for parents to get out of work to pick up their child due to illness, so I make sure that if I call, it's because it's important!
And you don't think a parent can help you see another perspective but yet you go to a website to get advice from your counterparts...counterparts that know nothing about your business setup, your strategy, your beliefs, observed you as a provider, observed the children under your care, etc? You believe those people can help you see a different vantage point but you don't believe that I could? Am I interpreting that correctly even though you go on to say that you like to hear from parents? That seems rather oxymoronic and hypocritcal. If you don't think I can help you see a different perspective, then why? What makes me different from the counterparts you are open to ideas from? Is it because I am a parent and never been a provider? Nope, that's not why. It's because you're not offering information that is workable for both parties. Constructive criticism is fine by me, as long as it works to solve problems. I didn't say I'm trying to change the world. I said because of my experiences, I only wish I could help the closed minded providers see a different perspective. I didn't say I'm the only person that has had bad experiences and am the sole individual that could help merge provider/parent relationships. Providers should appreciate that there are parents that exist who see there is strain in the parent/provider dynamic and would like to help each other understand the other better. And NO, I absolutely do not think it is prudent to know if I am a parent, provider, alien, or ghost. It makes no difference when speaking about basic social concepts such as respect, trust, and understanding. It shows that you automatically discredit me because I am not a provider and that is quite a shame. Of course it matters!

I am not one of those parents that should be grouped into the lump of displeasurable parents. I am an involved parent. I stay at home with my son some days just because I want to. If he is sick, I keep him home. I pay daycare on time every month--$903/month for one child (almost 4yo). Is child care perfect? No, no child care setting is perfect for ANY parent. But if we can all respect each other's opinions and each other as human beings and cease the assumptions, it certainly would be a better experience for all of us.
I'm not saying that you should be lumped in with the "displeasurable parents".
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Crystal 04:37 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Janet:
I have to say that it was a nice change to read something that you wrote that had a spark of authenticity to it. It's a refreshing change to see you have a human moment. Does it ever occur to you that you come across to some people as having a massive ego? You make it seem like you are the consummate professional and that we could all learn alot from you. I have no doubt that you probably do have a lot of information that I could benefit from, because I know that I don't have all of the answers, but a lot of your posts have a condescending tone.
Thank you. I do appreciate and RESPECT your opinion.
I do realize that I seem that way sometimes. Honestly, it is not intentional, and sometimes I choose the wrong words, but I do get irritated when, on a daily basis, I see providers who seem to really dislike their job and nearly every post is bitching and moaning about the people they work for and with, including parents AND children. I just wonder WHY they continue in this field if they really feel the way they say they do. It just doesn't seem right to me.
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Aya477 04:55 PM 06-25-2010
GOOD GRIEF PEOPLE!

I only asked why providers typically point the finger to parents and now all of this??? It's no wonder many of you experience such dismay on a day to day basis and come here to "vent".

I never said you can't vent. I simply find it rather pathetic that there is so much of it here rather than positive talk or true inquiry on how to better your program based on other's experiences. Instead, it's incessant bitching and complaining about parents and children. Now, that is a fact. You may not be able to recognize it because you are too caught up in the bitching and complaining yourself.

After reading multiple posts on the provider portion, I can only advise those routine complainers of this:
If you are finding yourself complaining more about your job than experiencing joy and happiness with it, then for god's sake find something else to do. If you aren't making money doing it, then find something else to do or find a way to make your business profitable while also keeping you happy. If you are tired of the parent's antics, then find something to do that does not involve parents. If you are tired of the children pushing you to the brink, then find something to do that does not involve children. If you are finding yourself coming to daycare.com to ask your counterparts what to do about something as simple as asking a parent for money, then you should not run a business anyway. Harsh but true.
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momofboys 05:10 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Aya477:
GOOD GRIEF PEOPLE!

I only asked why providers typically point the finger to parents and now all of this??? It's no wonder many of you experience such dismay on a day to day basis and come here to "vent".

I never said you can't vent. I simply find it rather pathetic that there is so much of it here rather than positive talk or true inquiry on how to better your program based on other's experiences. Instead, it's incessant bitching and complaining about parents and children. Now, that is a fact. You may not be able to recognize it because you are too caught up in the bitching and complaining yourself.

After reading multiple posts on the provider portion, I can only advise those routine complainers of this:
If you are finding yourself complaining more about your job than experiencing joy and happiness with it, then for god's sake find something else to do. If you aren't making money doing it, then find something else to do or find a way to make your business profitable while also keeping you happy. If you are tired of the parent's antics, then find something to do that does not involve parents. If you are tired of the children pushing you to the brink, then find something to do that does not involve children. If you are finding yourself coming to daycare.com to ask your counterparts what to do about something as simple as asking a parent for money, then you should not run a business anyway. Harsh but true.
I think you were missing the point. At least my point. I very rarely have complained about the children in my care. The parents have been another story. What's "simple" about asking a parent who for whatever reason is not honoring their contract & paying on time? I guess what I am trying to say is if the parents were doing what they were supposed to do there would be a lot less complaining!
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Aya477 05:37 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Janet:
at Janet again:
If it is a call about my child, I AM more interested in my child than the matter at hand.

I'm far from perfect. I never said that I was perfect. I know that forgetting things is common, I'm not disputing that. My issue is with NOT taking calls because you are in a meeting, not with forgetting your cell phone.

And in what way are you trying to understand the position of the daycare provider who is trying to manage a sick child who needs to be at home and whose parents can't be reached and the other kids who the provider would like to be able to give her attention to? How would that make you feel? Believe me, I understand that it's not always easy for parents to get out of work to pick up their child due to illness, so I make sure that if I call, it's because it's important!

It's because you're not offering information that is workable for both parties. Constructive criticism is fine by me, as long as it works to solve problems.

Of course it matters!
I'm not saying that you should be lumped in with the "displeasurable parents".
Alrighty-let's try to end this debate, ok?
I did not say that I do not take my providers calls nor that I am not interested in my child. I said that others who have their phones in meetings appear to be more concerned with something else other than the meeting. I have received non-emergency calls from dc and fortunately have been able to answer the calls--the calls came in on my office line at that. The provider didn't even have to call my cell! One time I received a voicemail but the provider also called my husband and got him. When I called her back, she had already spoken to my husband and all was resolved which was just letting us know that our son had been bitten by another child--another non-emergency. My child is my utmost importance and I will expand on that later. I have a job that is highly visible to people that can make or break my career or even whether or not I have a job. And if I am in a meeting, I am generally with atleast one of those individuals. Here's an example of why I do not take my phone to meetings any longer: I have a blackberry so emails (and I get 100's a day) go to this thing. It constantly buzzes. In a meeting one time, a particular individual that could make or break my career told me that my phone was annoying in meetings because it was constantly going off. So what am I going to do? I am going to leave the darn thing at my desk because I want to be respected at work. I want to keep my job. So it's not that I DO NOT answer my provider's calls nor that I think I shouldn't because I am involved in something more important. If I didn't answer my cell the provider has my office line and could let the receptionist know it is an emergency at which point I would be notified and of course take the call. Because those measures are in place, I do not concern myself with the possibility of missing my provider's call. I only wanted to point out that even in my situation, it is possible to not be able to answer a call or timely respond and to indirectly give a spot for a provider to put themselves in the parent's shoes. Nowhere should that be interpreted as me not finding calls from the provider as anything but a top priority.

Where I was trying to understand a provider:
I simply asked why providers typically assume that a parent knowingly dropped a sick child off at care with an illness that would exclude them from care. That's a valid question and an attempt to gain the provider's perspective. And I asked because I have read sooo many times where providers automatically believe the parent knew the child was sick. It was about the finger pointing to the parents....nothing else.

How did I not offer information that is workable for both parties? How is it not helpful to remind everyone to put yourself in the parent's shoes or remember what it was like when you were a parent before you became a provider? I did offer a situation where I may not have my cell with me and how my hubby is launching events for his clients and cannot stop a presentation to look at his phone to see who is calling. That's rather relevant to provide a parent's perspective for why they may not be able to call a provider back immediately.

I will ask again: Why does it matter if I am a parent or provider? Reasons...not just a statement saying it matters.

My child is never in the care of anyone else for any reason other than my hubby and I working which is business hours Mon-Fri. We have never left him with a babysitter so that we can do something for ourselves. We have never planned and wouldn't even begin to plan to do something that would exclude him. So while you do not know me nor the family we provide for my son, please know that I am an exceptional and involved parent. I would never ignore a provider's calls and I do find my child to be superiorly important to me above all else.
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Aya477 06:12 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by jen:
Seriously...you think forgetting to charge your cell phone is a VALID excuse for not being available to your provider? That's not a valid excuse for my 16 year old not calling me to tell me he plans on being 10 minutes late. Would I talk about you? I would talk to you...and after you left I'm sure my husband would get an earful as well. What could you possibly be "involved in" that is more important than your child????

I have a feeling that your provider probably felt that the experience was atrocious as well. Perhaps if were more open minded or more attuned to the needs of your child, you would change YOUR mentality. Without fail when I hear providers complain, it is about a lack of parenting. It's ridiculous to expect someone else to deal with your sick child because you forgot your cell phone or are too busy with other, obviously more important things.

Jen: automatically assuming that the provider felt I was a horrible parent is precisely what irritates me about many of you on this site along with why there is continual problems with providers and parents. And saying that I am not attuned to my child---on what basis can you intelligently and with meritable facts defend that remark?

Do you know my daycare experience? NO. Do you know how I handled myself with the provider? NO. My child was not being supervised at daycare as evident on the classroom camera. The children were being left in the classroom unattended so that the teacher could talk with a co-worker in the hallway or stand in the doorway to see who was coming down the hall. The teachers were not interacting with the children at all again as evident on the classroom camera. We started having horrible drop offs because my son would continuously say he did not want to be there and that a particular teacher was mean. And when we would leave him there, he would crawl into what they called cozy corner and not come out for about an hour. What did the owner do when I talked with her about my concerns with what I was seeing on the camera? She interviewed the teachers who described my child as someone other than what the owner even knows him to be which was quiet and would not play with other children. That is not my child's personality and that was not what I saw on camera--I saw my child playing with nearly all of the 20 kids in his classroom. The teachers' defense strategy was that maybe my child was sick or wasn't getting enough sleep and also said the children of the classroom weren't bonding with eachother. The teachers weren't looking at themselves as the potential problem but ready to blame us, the parents, as being the problem. The owner decided to be diplomatic and watched several days of footage from the classroom and agreed that the teachers were not interacting with the children and not doing as they should. The owner assured me that things would change in the classroom and that I should see an immediate change that week. She asked me to give her a week or two to implement some new things. At 8 weeks, there was no change. Things got worse. I talked with the owner about it who claimed that she could not supervise the teachers via camera or be at the center as often as necessary and asked me to give her some additional time. Because my child is most important to me and because I am an attuned and involved parent, I provided notice and withdrew my child so that he did not have a negative experience any longer. Where does that make me not attuned to my child's needs or be a parent loathed by the center? It doesn't.
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professionalmom 06:55 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Aya477:
GOOD GRIEF PEOPLE!

I only asked why providers typically point the finger to parents and now all of this??? It's no wonder many of you experience such dismay on a day to day basis and come here to "vent".

I never said you can't vent. I simply find it rather pathetic that there is so much of it here rather than positive talk or true inquiry on how to better your program based on other's experiences. Instead, it's incessant bitching and complaining about parents and children. Now, that is a fact. You may not be able to recognize it because you are too caught up in the bitching and complaining yourself.

After reading multiple posts on the provider portion, I can only advise those routine complainers of this:
If you are finding yourself complaining more about your job than experiencing joy and happiness with it, then for god's sake find something else to do. If you aren't making money doing it, then find something else to do or find a way to make your business profitable while also keeping you happy. If you are tired of the parent's antics, then find something to do that does not involve parents. If you are tired of the children pushing you to the brink, then find something to do that does not involve children. If you are finding yourself coming to daycare.com to ask your counterparts what to do about something as simple as asking a parent for money, then you should not run a business anyway. Harsh but true.
First, as I said before, I am not trying to jump on your case, just trying to explain.
Second, I am VERY thankful that I found this site. Why? Because I was bending over backwards to the point of allowing myself to be verbally abused, harassed, intimidated, taken advantage of, and even demeaned in front of the children. I even got to the point to where I couldn't talk to one parent in any tone above a whisper because she scared me so much. I began to think I was stupid, screwed up, didn't deserve any respect, and that this was the way daycare provider's must be getting treated, like we're second class citizens. (Side note: I have over 20 years of work experience in various fields, a bachelors' degree, quit law school in my 2nd yr to be a FT mom, as a good decent Christian woman, have overcome obstacles I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy, etc - certainly someone worthy of respect. I may not be perfect, but I strive for it everyday). The abusive clients tried to convince me that this was normal and that there was nothing wrong with how they treated me. Once I found this site, I realized that I'm not crazy for wanting or expecting at least a minimum amount of respect. I learned that just because I am a daycare provider does NOT give anyone the right to abuse me in any way. I started getting a spine to be a business owner and stand up for myself.

When I come on here and ask a question, it's because I want guidance or I need someone to back me up, because (of course) the parent is telling me I'm wrong and making me lose my nerve to stand up and defend myself.

FYI - when I say something like, "I hate it when parents ..." I am NOT saying, "I hate it when ALL parents..." The "lumping" of all parents is being assumed. I could be wrong here, but I don't think I have ever seen a post where a provider said that "ALL parents ..."

Another FYI - daycares are ALWAYS being villianized in the media. You never hear about the number of daycare providers that have rescued children from abusive homes. You never hear about the daycare providers who are threatened with bodily harm or even death because a parent is ticked off that the provider charged late fees or is terminating for nonpayment. You never hear about the daily abuse that some of us have endured. So we are the ones out here, all alone. We do not have the benefit of an office cooler to complain about that new company policy that the "suits" made up that will never work or about who slept with who to get that promotion. This is our water cooler. It's our place, one of our only places, for camaraderie.

And finally, as for us not liking our jobs. Oh ... my ... goodness. I would bet that at least 90% of the providers on here LOVE their jobs, taking care of children, interacting with the children, nurturing them, loving them, teaching them, etc. What we complain about the vast majoring of the time are the parents and the 5 minute interactions we have with them twice a day. Trust me, if I could hire someone to show up just to run interference so I never had to see or talk to the parents, I would consider this the perfect, ideal job of all time. Why should we give up a job we love, just because we don't want to be abused or disrespected by parents. Again, I said "parents", not "All parents".

Sadly, these short parent conversations can totally screw up the day. Imagine that you LOVED the work you did, but every morning your boss came in and screamed at you in front of everyone and told everyone that you don't deserve your paycheck because you don't do anything (even though you are working 60-80 hours a week to try to impress him and never take a lunch or break. Wouldn't you feel the need to vent? It would be a situation where you can't stand the boss (client), but you LOVE the actual work. It's a catch 22, unless you can find another boss or company (client) in the exact same field.

For the record, the 2 families I currently have are the most awesome clients EVER.
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Aya477 08:25 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by professionalmom:
First, as I said before, I am not trying to jump on your case, just trying to explain.
Second, I am VERY thankful that I found this site. Why? Because I was bending over backwards to the point of allowing myself to be verbally abused, harassed, intimidated, taken advantage of, and even demeaned in front of the children. I even got to the point to where I couldn't talk to one parent in any tone above a whisper because she scared me so much. I began to think I was stupid, screwed up, didn't deserve any respect, and that this was the way daycare provider's must be getting treated, like we're second class citizens. (Side note: I have over 20 years of work experience in various fields, a bachelors' degree, quit law school in my 2nd yr to be a FT mom, as a good decent Christian woman, have overcome obstacles I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy, etc - certainly someone worthy of respect. I may not be perfect, but I strive for it everyday). The abusive clients tried to convince me that this was normal and that there was nothing wrong with how they treated me. Once I found this site, I realized that I'm not crazy for wanting or expecting at least a minimum amount of respect. I learned that just because I am a daycare provider does NOT give anyone the right to abuse me in any way. I started getting a spine to be a business owner and stand up for myself.

When I come on here and ask a question, it's because I want guidance or I need someone to back me up, because (of course) the parent is telling me I'm wrong and making me lose my nerve to stand up and defend myself.

FYI - when I say something like, "I hate it when parents ..." I am NOT saying, "I hate it when ALL parents..." The "lumping" of all parents is being assumed. I could be wrong here, but I don't think I have ever seen a post where a provider said that "ALL parents ..."

Another FYI - daycares are ALWAYS being villianized in the media. You never hear about the number of daycare providers that have rescued children from abusive homes. You never hear about the daycare providers who are threatened with bodily harm or even death because a parent is ticked off that the provider charged late fees or is terminating for nonpayment. You never hear about the daily abuse that some of us have endured. So we are the ones out here, all alone. We do not have the benefit of an office cooler to complain about that new company policy that the "suits" made up that will never work or about who slept with who to get that promotion. This is our water cooler. It's our place, one of our only places, for camaraderie.

And finally, as for us not liking our jobs. Oh ... my ... goodness. I would bet that at least 90% of the providers on here LOVE their jobs, taking care of children, interacting with the children, nurturing them, loving them, teaching them, etc. What we complain about the vast majoring of the time are the parents and the 5 minute interactions we have with them twice a day. Trust me, if I could hire someone to show up just to run interference so I never had to see or talk to the parents, I would consider this the perfect, ideal job of all time. Why should we give up a job we love, just because we don't want to be abused or disrespected by parents. Again, I said "parents", not "All parents".

Sadly, these short parent conversations can totally screw up the day. Imagine that you LOVED the work you did, but every morning your boss came in and screamed at you in front of everyone and told everyone that you don't deserve your paycheck because you don't do anything (even though you are working 60-80 hours a week to try to impress him and never take a lunch or break. Wouldn't you feel the need to vent? It would be a situation where you can't stand the boss (client), but you LOVE the actual work. It's a catch 22, unless you can find another boss or company (client) in the exact same field.

For the record, the 2 families I currently have are the most awesome clients EVER.
My comments weren't directed at you. But there is no denying that there are a number of posts saying parents don't get it or why do parents do this, that, the other. General statements pertaining to parents as a group are made. The preface of "all" is not required to interpret many comments as pertaining to parents on the whole. I have a few co-workers reading this site and they too are astonished at the comments made by the providers. In all complete honesty-MANY comments appear incredibly disrespectful of parents on the whole. Just an observation from a parent.....

I truly am sorry that so many of you have had an apparent horrible experience with so many parents. That is very unfortunate. I am not the type of putrid parent you described fortunately and believe that my provider is thankful of me as well.

Glad you have found an outlet that has helped you grow as an individual and provider.
Reply
jen 08:52 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Aya477:
Jen: automatically assuming that the provider felt I was a horrible parent is precisely what irritates me about many of you on this site along with why there is continual problems with providers and parents. And saying that I am not attuned to my child---on what basis can you intelligently and with meritable facts defend that remark?

Do you know my daycare experience? NO. Do you know how I handled myself with the provider? NO. My child was not being supervised at daycare as evident on the classroom camera. The children were being left in the classroom unattended so that the teacher could talk with a co-worker in the hallway or stand in the doorway to see who was coming down the hall. The teachers were not interacting with the children at all again as evident on the classroom camera. We started having horrible drop offs because my son would continuously say he did not want to be there and that a particular teacher was mean. And when we would leave him there, he would crawl into what they called cozy corner and not come out for about an hour. What did the owner do when I talked with her about my concerns with what I was seeing on the camera? She interviewed the teachers who described my child as someone other than what the owner even knows him to be which was quiet and would not play with other children. That is not my child's personality and that was not what I saw on camera--I saw my child playing with nearly all of the 20 kids in his classroom. The teachers' defense strategy was that maybe my child was sick or wasn't getting enough sleep and also said the children of the classroom weren't bonding with eachother. The teachers weren't looking at themselves as the potential problem but ready to blame us, the parents, as being the problem. The owner decided to be diplomatic and watched several days of footage from the classroom and agreed that the teachers were not interacting with the children and not doing as they should. The owner assured me that things would change in the classroom and that I should see an immediate change that week. She asked me to give her a week or two to implement some new things. At 8 weeks, there was no change. Things got worse. I talked with the owner about it who claimed that she could not supervise the teachers via camera or be at the center as often as necessary and asked me to give her some additional time. Because my child is most important to me and because I am an attuned and involved parent, I provided notice and withdrew my child so that he did not have a negative experience any longer. Where does that make me not attuned to my child's needs or be a parent loathed by the center? It doesn't.
No, I don't automatically assume anything. However when you say: "I am ALWAYS on the phone or in a meeting at work, and likely may not be able to return a message from my provider timely. On occasion, I will leave my cell out in the car to charge if I forgot to do so overnight and thus would not be reached on an "electronic device". Nor would I answer my cell phone if I were on the phone with a client or in a meeting. My hubby is rarely in his office and calling his cell is futile as well because he is involved in events with clients for his job 4/5 days a week." you give the impression that being available to your provider is optional, which it is not.


From a provider's perspective when parents are involved in their careers to the point where we are left to deal with a sick child, manage the rest of the kids in care, and spend valuable time trying to track down a parent it is annoying to say the very least.

Imagine being responsible for several children, one of them is vomiting--and generally not in the bathroom. The provider is trying to comfort the sick child and keep the other kids from getting into contact with the sick child or vomit. Once the child is settled you still need to clean up the mess and still provide care to the other kids. All the while trying to reach a parent who forgot to charge the cell phone. It's easy as a parent to think it isn't such a big deal, but then again you've never experienced it.

I have to say that all my parents at the moment are GREAT! But only because I learned to weed out the ones who were disrespectful of my time and the effort that I put in to providing really great care.
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Former Teacher 09:16 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
LOL! After thinking about it, I relaized that nanny had to read through HUNDREDS of posts to find that! lol! Hope you had fun!

BTW, I blocked guest access to my forum. If you'd like to read the post Nanny linked to, feel free to pm me ad I'll send it to you, or register on the forum and you can see ALL of my posts, where you will find very little in the way of my ever being unprofessional.
Crystal..Just wanted to say...I may sound like a broken record because I have told you before, but I totally agree with you. I am a regular member of this forum and yes you vent and be outspoken ( WE ALL DO! THAT'S WHAT THIS IS FOR!), however I have NEVER seen you be unprofessional.

The rest I will say in a private message
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Crystal 10:48 PM 06-25-2010
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
Crystal..Just wanted to say...I may sound like a broken record because I have told you before, but I totally agree with you. I am a regular member of this forum and yes you vent and be outspoken ( WE ALL DO! THAT'S WHAT THIS IS FOR!), however I have NEVER seen you be unprofessional.

The rest I will say in a private message
Thanks - I appreciate your support
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Aya477 02:52 AM 06-26-2010
Originally Posted by jen:
No, I don't automatically assume anything. However when you say: "I am ALWAYS on the phone or in a meeting at work, and likely may not be able to return a message from my provider timely. On occasion, I will leave my cell out in the car to charge if I forgot to do so overnight and thus would not be reached on an "electronic device". Nor would I answer my cell phone if I were on the phone with a client or in a meeting. My hubby is rarely in his office and calling his cell is futile as well because he is involved in events with clients for his job 4/5 days a week." you give the impression that being available to your provider is optional, which it is not..
AGAIN:

NOWHERE should those sentences be inferred as I do not find the calls important or that I do not take the calls as you stated. NOWHERE. So you did assume. Where does it say that I do not take the calls? It doesn't other than if I am on the phone with a client that I wouldn't answer my cell and I wouldn't because a message could be left which I could listen to once I am off the call to see if there was an emergency or any request for me to return the call. It's not as if I spend my entire work existence on the phone with the same client. It's a phone call...infer that as a routine call that is not more than 5-10 minutes long. I was providing an explanation for why my provider may not immediately reach me or my husband. Sorry if I did not spell out specifics for you so that you would not have any assumptions or speculations, or impressions (which again, is not fact based perception). If I must explain my character to avoid a personal attack based on a few measily sentences that were apparently used to form an opinion of the type of parent I am, then that is sad.
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kimsdaycare 05:05 AM 06-26-2010
Personally, I see both sides here.

When I worked outside of the home, my situation was much like Aya's. I could be hard to reach - always on the phone with a client, and we were not even allowed to use our cell phones during work hours. My provider would leave a message with someone at my work (not voice mail) regarding illness or other emergency with my child, and a note would be placed in front of me immediately so I would be aware. I could then find a way to wrap things up and get back to my provider asap. It was the best way to keep me informed with little intrusion on productivity (ie: clients first, personal business last) per my work requirements.

As a provider, I text, then I call, then I attempt to reach a human at your place of business. All of this will happen within an hour, depending on the urgency of the situation. It rarely goes past this point to calling backups. But, I also have to agree with others here that I have definitely seen my fair share of parents that hit ignore on their phones or "didn't get that message". Sadly, it happens a lot. Parents are under a lot of pressure to not let their families needs take precedence over their work responsibilities. They are warned not to miss meetings, call in sick or leave early or heavy consequences and bad evaluations. Some are afraid to lose their jobs. I understand that, but it still drives you batty when you are trying to reach someone and you can't.

No, not all parents purposely avoid being available. If we seem to make assumptions, please forgive us. For most,it's more of a knee-jerk reaction to past situations. When you don't hear back from a parent you just called your mind instantly remembers the last time that you waited for that phone to ring...and while waiting for that call, Johnny throws up his morning dose of Cherry Flavored Tylenol (gee, who gave him that?) all over the carpet in the playroom. So, you clean up the child and start shampooing the carpet, and miss hearing the ring of that parent calling you back 50 minutes later. So you call them again. And the phone tag game continues. And Johnny is now looking green again.....

I have to say though that most of the time when a parent is hard to reach it is not their fault, and I personally don't assume they avoiding me unless they give me reason to (like fever-med vomit). But I know it can and and does happen to providers. Good parents would definitely have a hard time believing that people can be like that. I would have never dreamed of ignoring my provider - she may have had to chase me down a few times, though
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jen 07:46 AM 06-26-2010
Originally Posted by Aya477:
AGAIN:

NOWHERE should those sentences be inferred as I do not find the calls important or that I do not take the calls as you stated. NOWHERE. So you did assume. Where does it say that I do not take the calls? It doesn't other than if I am on the phone with a client that I wouldn't answer my cell and I wouldn't because a message could be left which I could listen to once I am off the call to see if there was an emergency or any request for me to return the call. It's not as if I spend my entire work existence on the phone with the same client. It's a phone call...infer that as a routine call that is not more than 5-10 minutes long. I was providing an explanation for why my provider may not immediately reach me or my husband. Sorry if I did not spell out specifics for you so that you would not have any assumptions or speculations, or impressions (which again, is not fact based perception). If I must explain my character to avoid a personal attack based on a few measily sentences that were apparently used to form an opinion of the type of parent I am, then that is sad.
I said that your statement gives the impression...and you may not like it, but it does.
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fctjc1979 07:54 AM 06-26-2010
Why is it that sahm2three's threads aways seem to get hijacked?

How's the little guy doing, sahm2three?
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Aya477 09:07 AM 06-26-2010
[/QUOTE=JEN;34339] Seriously...you think forgetting to charge your cell phone is a VALID excuse for not being available to your provider? That's not a valid excuse for my 16 year old not calling me to tell me he plans on being 10 minutes late. Would I talk about you? I would talk to you...and after you left I'm sure my husband would get an earful as well. What could you possibly be "involved in" that is more important than your child????

I have a feeling that your provider probably felt that the experience was atrocious as well. Perhaps if were more open minded or more attuned to the needs of your child, you would change YOUR mentality. Without fail when I hear providers complain, it is about a lack of parenting. It's ridiculous to expect someone else to deal with your sick child because you forgot your cell phone or are too busy with other, obviously more important things. [/quote]

You must have forgotten what you typed.
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nannyde 10:06 AM 06-26-2010
Originally Posted by Aya477:
[/QUOTE=JEN;34339] Seriously...you think forgetting to charge your cell phone is a VALID excuse for not being available to your provider? That's not a valid excuse for my 16 year old not calling me to tell me he plans on being 10 minutes late. Would I talk about you? I would talk to you...and after you left I'm sure my husband would get an earful as well. What could you possibly be "involved in" that is more important than your child????

I have a feeling that your provider probably felt that the experience was atrocious as well. Perhaps if were more open minded or more attuned to the needs of your child, you would change YOUR mentality. Without fail when I hear providers complain, it is about a lack of parenting. It's ridiculous to expect someone else to deal with your sick child because you forgot your cell phone or are too busy with other, obviously more important things.
You must have forgotten what you typed.[/quote]

I haven't read all of your responses. Just a note to clarify that everyone we work for has the same "reasons" you have regarding how their job/livlihood/career is based on them not pissing off their boss/client/customer. Your situation is the same as the person who stocks shelves at WalMart, the garbage man on the truck, the dental hygentist, etc. You saying that you have to be uninterupted is all the same to us. You may believe your deal is special but unless you are in the middle of brain surgery you need to have a system where a provider can get to you immediately. If you can't do that then you need to stay home with your kid.

I have the agreement with my dcp's that I text them if I need to tell them something and call them if it's a medical emergency. If I call they KNOW something bad is going down. I go many MONTHS in between calling parents. I never call them unless I can't move forward with the kids care without them.

Any texts I send them they answer back with a quick "K" or a note to let me know they got it. 99 percent of my communication for non medical stuff is done via text or facebook. We all love that... so easy and quick. I actually do a LOT of texting and facebook with my clients now. They love the direct quick access with the phone and computer. I don't use emails anymore.

Get a decent system with your provider so you can tell the difference between info sharing and emergency.
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QualiTcare 11:11 AM 06-26-2010
it's hard for a provider that didn't work outside of the home AND have their kids in daycare - or a parent that has never been a provider to understand both sides.

my kids did go to daycare before i ever worked at a daycare so i definitely know both sides of it. i do think providers can be a little harsh sometimes, but i also know if you're a good parent - it's hard to understand why.

one thing that gets me is when providers talk about how the mothers don't spend time with their kids and assume they feel guilty or they're jealous because they have to work. i wonder if providers ever stop to think that if these mothers didn't go to work, none of us would have kids to keep?

there were providers at a large center i worked at that would talk about parents who brought their kids to daycare when they weren't working like they were dogs. being a parent that has taken my kids to daycare so i could go to an appointment or get business taken care of - that's annoying. i've said this before, but if you're getting paid to take care of a child then it shouldn't matter if they're at work or if they're laying out by the pool. it's really nobody's business. i always paid on time, picked up on time, bought party supplies, volunteered at parties - including dressing up. if i needed to go to an appointment without toting 2 kids along - SO WHAT!

i've also had a sick child that was pooping all over the place and the mother who had THREE kids didn't even OWN a phone! of course we didn't know that until we called other contacts and they told us it had been cut off. how you can have 3 kids and have no way to be reached is beyond me. i've also known at least 2 parents (that i can think of right now) that would pick up their children HIGH out of their mind - bloodshot eyes, stumbling around. so, yeah, AYA, as a good parent - it can be hard to imagine, but you see it all from the provider side.

that doesn't mean i agree with everything providers say or how they feel, but i've been on both sides of the fence and i think that helps me relate to the "good parents."
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judytrickett 06:54 AM 06-27-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I also cannot stand it when providers talk negatively about their families, and you're right, it does seem to happen alot. It's unprofessional and it makes me wonder how they stay in business....especially when it is on a public forum that any of their families could stumble across. But, alas, you will never get through to those who choose to do it
Wow, I don't get on for the day and you ladies are all over the place.

Anyway, to address the bolded part...............You must REALLY hate me then!

I'll just keep telling the truth! Popularity is highly overrated.
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professionalmom 07:38 AM 06-27-2010
Originally Posted by judytrickett:
Popularity is highly overrated.
I agree. It's nice to be liked, but not to the point of completely losing your voice or being afraid to have or voice an opinion. If others are entitled to an opinion, so am I. Judy, I'm not sure what Canada's laws are, but here in the U.S., we have freedom of speech - 1st amendment. Yet, I am annoyed when SOME (not all) people think they have the right to voice an opinion but get offended when I have a different, or maybe an opposing, opinion. I have the same rights as everyone else. Even if MY opinion is not popular.

Let me also say that I am usually very open minded as to other people's point of view. My clients know that I respect them and the fact that they have to work, and that I love their children. I respect other people's opinions and I expect them to respect mine. Just because my opinion is different, does NOT mean I am being disrespectful. Just different.
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melissa ann 08:46 AM 06-27-2010
Enough already. Seriously, why are all of the providers getting into it with this "parent". I didn't post before because, even though this person did register, they might as well be unregistered for all I care. All I will say is that before someone jumps all over someone, they should first have some kind of knowledge what they are talking about. Before I got into childcare, I never imagined all the crap that parents do, not paying on time, not changing their kids diapers, etc. If someone hasn't been in the childcare field, then they have no business critizing those do it. But back to the orignial post:in this day and age there is NO reason not to be able to get a hold of a parent when their child is sick.
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sahm2three 08:20 PM 06-27-2010
Originally Posted by fctjc1979:
Why is it that sahm2three's threads aways seem to get hijacked?

How's the little guy doing, sahm2three?
OMG! I was wondering the same thing!!! LOL!

He is doing much better! Had a rough afternoon Friday, but felt much better by Saturday morning. Got to play with his brothers in their pool. So glad. Seems like everyone else is ok so far. Thanks for asking!
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fctjc1979 08:55 AM 06-28-2010
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
OMG! I was wondering the same thing!!! LOL!

He is doing much better! Had a rough afternoon Friday, but felt much better by Saturday morning. Got to play with his brothers in their pool. So glad. Seems like everyone else is ok so far. Thanks for asking!
That's good. At least no one else seemed to pick it up. Sounds like everything worked out pretty well!
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