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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Do You Get Parents To Comply With Your Rules And Policies?
JLH 09:33 AM 01-10-2014
How do you get parents to comply with your rules? Okay, I know it's a dumb question but I feel like all I've done this week is feel upset at my daycare parents. Everyday this week someone has broken a rule (or 2!), and made my job way more difficult than it already is. We're licensed for 12, all enrolled are between 1 and 5 years old, so it's a fine tuned balancing system to have things run smoothly.

I've had 2 kids show up this week at 11am, right in the middle of preschool. We have a rule of no arriving or departing between 10 and 3 because I can't teach preschool with kids crying that don't transition well, and because they sleep in at home, don't nap here, and wake up the kids that have been up since 6am. Both days I ended up working 11 hours with no break.

I've had one kid that has shown up with a toy nearly every day this week when we have a rule about no outside toys because they can be choking hazards for the babies and it causes too many problems. His mom has been told every single day. As I type this. he just walked up to me with a bouncy ball in his hand that I'm pretty sure he must have snuck into my home in his pocket. He is a very delayed 4 year old so I'm sure mom helped him to do this.

His sister showed up with a banana and threw a huge tantrum when asked to sit at the table because we don't allow outside food. The tantrum blocked the front door so mom couldn't leave, which resulted in me having to throw the banana in the trash and carry the 2 year old to the bathroom screaming and crying, and smearing banana all over in my hair, face, and clothing in the process to go wash up. Mom stood there watching the whole thing and the only thing she said was, eeew you got banana on my work pants. Meanwhile I was fresh out of the shower, make-up done, and dressed for the day, as it was right at opening time, and now I was covered in banana. I was so upset!

Today, I had a parent show up with adult strength ointment that she wanted me to put on her 1 year old baby. I had to tell her that licensing mandates if her child's age group isn't on the directions I'm not allowed to give it. I told her this same exact thing over cold medicine last week.

I just had a parent show up right at 8am (when our breakfast time is over & kitchen has just been cleaned) and has a McDonald's burger in her hand and wants her 5 year old to sit and eat it "since she missed breakfast". Now mind you, I have 8 other kids here at this time, all between 1 and 4, that want a McDonalds burger too. I tell mom it isn't allowed and she offers to go buy burgers for all the kids. Obviously I had to tell her no and let it slide "just this once".

I make my own 3 year old twins comply with the rules and my 11 year old too, so why is it okay for no one else to comply? My kids aren't allowed to have special treats during daycare and they can't have their own personal toys in the daycare area of our home either. I've tried writing really nice newsletters of our current events and added in 1 or 2 reminders of rules in there, but half the parents never read the newsletter. I know this because they showed up for pj day in regular clothes or would ask what the food drive box was for when it was the main purpose of the newsletter. I've tried telling them it's against the rules, but they argue or make excuses as to why "it should be okay just this once because we were running late" or "just this once because Johnny is having a really hard day". Meanwhile I have to deal with the aftermath and I have to feel bad for telling parents and kids no all day long. I've even tried posting signs on the outside of my front door. It stops them from breaking the rules for a week or so but then they go right back to it, and frankly it looks terrible if tours show up and see a bunch of rules posted all over the front door.

I'm at my wits end. I really need advice! Am I being too hard or should I stand my ground? How do you get grown adults to comply with your rules? Do any of you have techniques you have used that work?
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Cat Herder 09:36 AM 01-10-2014
By enforcing the policies consistently, every single time.

No exceptions.

Sounds simplistic, but there is nothing as effective as saying NO and meaning it.
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JLH 09:48 AM 01-10-2014
We've only been open in our new location for a year and a half. We have bent rules because we've been afraid of losing clients. This doesn't cause people to get mad and pull their kids?
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Blackcat31 09:51 AM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by JLH:
We've only been open in our new location for a year and a half. We have bent rules because we've been afraid of losing clients. This doesn't cause people to get mad and pull their kids?
Why would they get mad about rules they agreed to BEFORE hand?

If they do get mad and pull, they weren't the type of client I want anyways so win-win. kwim?

If you don't respect, enforce and follow your rules neither will parents.
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Annalee 09:51 AM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
By enforcing the policies consistently, every single time.

No exceptions.

Sounds simplistic, but there is nothing as effective as saying NO and meaning it.
Also, I think it is important for providers to not be too hard on themselves. It is OK to have rules that are significant to your program. Somewhere down the line, persons, in general, began feeling like they can reason their way out of anything. Parents are no different! Providers need not feel guilty for a rule, no matter how "silly" it may sound to a parent. FCC is a business!!!! It does get tiring re-enforcing constantly but consistency does pay off.... until a new parent comes along.
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Unregistered 09:54 AM 01-10-2014
Sounds like it's time to send out a reminder newsletter and start enforcing the rules.I always turn it around to make it their problem.
Here's what I would have done in everyone of those situations.
The kids who showed up at 11:00a.m. would NOT have been accepted for the day.Period.End of story.
The mother who lets the kid bring the toy everyday- I would take the toy,hand it back to her and tell her"You have been told repeatedly to not allow your child to bring a toy in,if it happens again you will be terminated. Next time- She would be gone.
Banana mom would have been handed her child back and told her to take her back outside until the banana is gone and she is cleaned up.I may have been nice and offered a wipe,or maybe not because that would be her problem.She would be told the same thing as the lady who lets her kid bring toys.
McDonald's family would have been told to leave also.
Don't let their problems and inability to manage their own children be your problem.
You may have to term a few but it will be worth it in the end.
As the above poster said- You have to enforce your own rules,every single time or they won't take you seriously.Just like the kids!
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Familycare71 09:54 AM 01-10-2014
Personally I would hand every parent a note and a copy of your policies. I would state in the BRIEF note that you will not be making exceptions to your policies any longer. And if they try to break a policy and it upsets their child they will need to take their child home that day.
You need to no longer allow them to make their issues your issues! Stand firm- do not back down once- no matter what!
When you hand them the note say: this is important to read- you will be held to it even if you decide not to.
You may lose a few clients (prob not) but it will make your day so much easier!

We are here to help with your back bone!! You CAN do it!!!

Ps- take this time to remove any policies you may have but don't care about...
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MarinaVanessa 09:58 AM 01-10-2014
How do you get parents to comply with your rules and policies?

By having clear expectations in my contract/handbook, having clear penalties/consequences and being firm & consistent with enforcing them.

If you are going to bend the rules and aren't going to enforce them for fear of losing clients then why have them?
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JLH 10:06 AM 01-10-2014
Thank you so much everyone! I just renewed our contracts, policies, and rules last week for the new year. I removed all unnecessary rules at that time. I think that is what makes it all so frustrating. Obviously no one read any of it. Seems I have a group of parents right now that really just don't care. I have a couple of good families that respect us but the rest just think they can walk all over us. I really appreciate the advice and support. I don't know what I would do without this site some days!
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mia 10:07 AM 01-10-2014
I have the same problem with a few clients as well .... I have not enforced for the simple face that I can not afford to lose them as clients... THERE has been sooo many times I want to say something to them, but then I clamp up...


But good idea on sending a note and the policies to them again to remind the clients....
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Cat Herder 10:17 AM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by JLH:
We've only been open in our new location for a year and a half. We have bent rules because we've been afraid of losing clients. This doesn't cause people to get mad and pull their kids?
Not at all.

The caveat is to not have policies that are impossible to live by or ever changing.

Bending rules makes the policy invalid, permanently.

They won't remember the rules we bent for them and think warmly of us for it. We will remember and resent it later, though.

** The flat out truth is every time we bend our own rules they lose a little respect for us.
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Blackcat31 10:18 AM 01-10-2014
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:

** The flat out truth is every time we bend our own rules they lose a little respect for us.

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Tags:enforcing policies - consistency, saying no
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