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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Many Phone Calls From DCM During The Day Is Too Many?
crazydaycarelady 02:36 PM 02-27-2014
Dcbaby is 4-5 months old and has been here for 2 months now. Everyday I fill out a "report card" detailing everything baby does all day. Also if there were to be any problems I would call or text mom right away.
So considering those things, plus the fact that I have a very busy demanding job, how many phone calls/texts would you consider to be too many?
Additional FYI - dcm works in a center.
So considering those things, plus the fact that I have a very busy demanding job, how many phone calls/texts would you consider to be too many?
Additional FYI - dcm works in a center.
Blackcat31 02:38 PM 02-27-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
Dcbaby is 4-5 months old and has been here for 2 months now. Everyday I fill out a "report card" detailing everything baby does all day. Also if there were to be any problems I would call or text mom right away.
So considering those things, plus the fact that I have a very busy demanding job, how many phone calls/texts would you consider to be too many?
Additional FYI - dcm works in a center.
I would allow one per day the first two weeks, as a courtesy. After that, I wouldn't entertain any calls during the day to check up on her child. Dcbaby is 4-5 months old and has been here for 2 months now. Everyday I fill out a "report card" detailing everything baby does all day. Also if there were to be any problems I would call or text mom right away.
So considering those things, plus the fact that I have a very busy demanding job, how many phone calls/texts would you consider to be too many?
Additional FYI - dcm works in a center.
I KNOW what I am doing and will call her if I need her.
Again, trust is HUGE.....she has to be able to trust you enough to not interrupt your day by calling umpteen times.
crazydaycarelady 02:47 PM 02-27-2014
I have been responding to the first call/text of the day and then ignoring anymore. I don't want to be unreasonable (but sheesh.) She had excellent references for me also.
SilverSabre25 02:51 PM 02-27-2014
Honestly? Even one every day is too many. I had that a few years back. Mom called around the same time EVERY day--the end of lunch/beginning of nap/diaper changes/AWFUL. If I didn't answer, she called back. And back. And back. And back. Then freaked out when I finally did answer because she thought something was direly wrong.
She didn't like my reports that everything was great and dcg was great. She was always inventing new problems to ask about if I said everything was fine. And if I said everything was less than 100%, she was panicking and wanting to come get dcg. And it was hell on earth if dcg happened to make a crying sound while I was on the phone....
The whole situation was very very very disruptive and that family didn't last long. Mom started sneaking around my private stuff and my computer before they suddenly left with no notice and threatened legal action when I pointed out our contract that said they needed to pay me. If I hadn't been 8 months pregnant and under more stress than was healthy for baby (from other things--my mom was in the hospital), I would have gone after that money.
To give some perspective though, dcm also panicked if dcg (8 mos) didn't have her pacifier in her mouth when dcm arrived (DCG was HAPPY! "OMG YOUR BINKY, WHERE IS IT? YOU NEED YOUR BINKY!") and got angry with me for taking her 8 month old out in seventy degree weather without a snowsuit. It was March....but it was 70 and sunny. Parents sent her the weirdest food for an 8 mo (CHOCOLATE PUDDING CUPS, I'm not kidding, and those meat sticks that are for toddlers).
All in all...I see constant calls as a sign that there are some basic, underlying, SERIOUS trust issues and I will never again work with a family that does that.
She didn't like my reports that everything was great and dcg was great. She was always inventing new problems to ask about if I said everything was fine. And if I said everything was less than 100%, she was panicking and wanting to come get dcg. And it was hell on earth if dcg happened to make a crying sound while I was on the phone....
The whole situation was very very very disruptive and that family didn't last long. Mom started sneaking around my private stuff and my computer before they suddenly left with no notice and threatened legal action when I pointed out our contract that said they needed to pay me. If I hadn't been 8 months pregnant and under more stress than was healthy for baby (from other things--my mom was in the hospital), I would have gone after that money.
To give some perspective though, dcm also panicked if dcg (8 mos) didn't have her pacifier in her mouth when dcm arrived (DCG was HAPPY! "OMG YOUR BINKY, WHERE IS IT? YOU NEED YOUR BINKY!") and got angry with me for taking her 8 month old out in seventy degree weather without a snowsuit. It was March....but it was 70 and sunny. Parents sent her the weirdest food for an 8 mo (CHOCOLATE PUDDING CUPS, I'm not kidding, and those meat sticks that are for toddlers).
All in all...I see constant calls as a sign that there are some basic, underlying, SERIOUS trust issues and I will never again work with a family that does that.
Leanna 02:56 PM 02-27-2014
I do one text per day. I have four moms that text me once a day for an update. They know and respect that I am busy with their child and that it may take me a while to get back to them. I send a little message about how their child is doing and sometimes a pic too. One mom has had her two kids with me since the oldest was a baby (he is five now) and I know she trusts me implicitly so that is not an issue. Most of them just miss their kid and are curious about how they are doing and what their day is like.
Also, as one mom pointed out, she is checking on me too. I am alone all day, what if I fell down the stairs or something? If I don't text her back, she calls...I appreciate the concern!
Also, as one mom pointed out, she is checking on me too. I am alone all day, what if I fell down the stairs or something? If I don't text her back, she calls...I appreciate the concern!
Crazy8 03:43 PM 02-27-2014
One a day in the beginning only. But nowadays with texting I don't even have new moms do that. I try to send them 1-2 texts/pics a day in the very beginning but that's it.
EntropyControlSpecialist 04:07 PM 02-27-2014
ONE time a day would be too much for me! 
blandino 04:16 PM 02-27-2014
One time a day would be a lot for me.
I have on high-maintence, worried, DCM, whom I LOVE and can identify with on an anxiety level, who will call if DCG has been sick or had a rough drop off. Sometimes it's daily, sometimes not at all. But I don't mind because she is well-meaning, and I do relate to her very well.
I answer if it's convenient, but if its not I don't. Most of my parents will text if they need to check in. I respond when/if I am able.
I have on high-maintence, worried, DCM, whom I LOVE and can identify with on an anxiety level, who will call if DCG has been sick or had a rough drop off. Sometimes it's daily, sometimes not at all. But I don't mind because she is well-meaning, and I do relate to her very well.
I answer if it's convenient, but if its not I don't. Most of my parents will text if they need to check in. I respond when/if I am able.
Cat Herder 04:56 PM 02-27-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
dcm works in a center.
The irony and guilt must be getting to her. Erma Bombeck wrote about that scenario in "The grass is always greener over the septic tank." (dropping her kid with a stay at home mom, so she could work in a center, to pay the stay at home mom)dcm works in a center.
I'd ask her "How do you deal with Moms who call your room everyday? I am having a hard time with it here and could use some suggestions."
daycarediva 05:08 PM 02-27-2014
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
The irony and guilt must be getting to her. Erma Bombeck wrote about that scenario in "The grass is always greener over the septic tank." (dropping her kid with a stay at home mom, so she could work in a center, to pay the stay at home mom)
I'd ask her "How do you deal with Moms who call your room everyday? I am having a hard time with it here and could use some suggestions."
I agree with this. I empathize, completely. Depending on the relationship, I might even say "It must be hard for you to leave her everyday..." and see where that went. I have been told by a Mom who STILL sends me texts about once/twice a week checking on her 4.5yo that the only reason she doesn't call every day is because she sees the pictures I post on Facebook. (Usually activity, outside, lunch daily). The irony and guilt must be getting to her. Erma Bombeck wrote about that scenario in "The grass is always greener over the septic tank." (dropping her kid with a stay at home mom, so she could work in a center, to pay the stay at home mom)
I'd ask her "How do you deal with Moms who call your room everyday? I am having a hard time with it here and could use some suggestions."
I am THAT MOM, I GET IT. BUT, I'm busy. If all 6 parents did that every day, at an average of 5 minutes/phone call=30 minutes. I refer my clients to email me and welcome them to do so. If I get a chance to respond at nap I do. I send weekly emails to half my daycare parents. If there is an issue they need to know about that's not urgent, I can email at nap. I email my ds's Kindergarten teacher back and forth weekly. She is a tremendous resource of information, a great teacher, and I enjoy having that back and forth, and honestly getting to know the person influencing my 'baby'.
JenNJ 05:00 AM 02-28-2014
Spend $4.99 and get the Baby Connect app. She can log in from her phone, tablet, or computer and see in real time how her baby is doing. Then ignore her phone calls and message her through the app only (within reason). Between the app and my secret parents only daycare Facebook group I get no phonecalls. Everyone can read and see exactly how their kids are doing in real time.
KidGrind 06:08 AM 02-28-2014
February a new full-timer started. Each parent would call me two or three time per day. I’d answer (laughing to myself) and tell them truthfully how he was doing.
They are from a different culture. So he is literally their golden child. You know the first 3 days I’d roll my eyes by the 3rd call of the day. Then I had to check myself and thought, “You are the same person who is completely disgusted with parents who want the provider to raise their children. Who don’t care as long as their kid is alive when they pick up.”
So I applaud these parents for caring about their child. I let them hear DCK in the background. They thank me. The calls have dropped down to maybe twice per week.
They are from a different culture. So he is literally their golden child. You know the first 3 days I’d roll my eyes by the 3rd call of the day. Then I had to check myself and thought, “You are the same person who is completely disgusted with parents who want the provider to raise their children. Who don’t care as long as their kid is alive when they pick up.”
So I applaud these parents for caring about their child. I let them hear DCK in the background. They thank me. The calls have dropped down to maybe twice per week.
cheerfuldom 06:34 AM 02-28-2014
one call or text a day especially considering I chat with parents on drop off and pickup and I also provide an infant report for new babies. It they need any more than that, they need a nanny.
mountainside13 08:05 AM 02-28-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
February a new full-timer started. Each parent would call me two or three time per day. I’d answer (laughing to myself) and tell them truthfully how he was doing.
They are from a different culture. So he is literally their golden child. You know the first 3 days I’d rolled my eyes by the 3rd call of the day. Then I had to check myself and thought, “You are the same person who is completely disgusted with parents who want the provider to raise their children. Who don’t care as long as their kid is alive when they pick up.”
So I applaud these parents for caring about their child. I let them hear DCK in the background. They thank me. The calls have dropped down to maybe twice per week.
February a new full-timer started. Each parent would call me two or three time per day. I’d answer (laughing to myself) and tell them truthfully how he was doing.
They are from a different culture. So he is literally their golden child. You know the first 3 days I’d rolled my eyes by the 3rd call of the day. Then I had to check myself and thought, “You are the same person who is completely disgusted with parents who want the provider to raise their children. Who don’t care as long as their kid is alive when they pick up.”
So I applaud these parents for caring about their child. I let them hear DCK in the background. They thank me. The calls have dropped down to maybe twice per week.
I agree to your bolded part! Sometimes it can get a little annoying but as long as I feel they trust me and are just checking up on their child and not me, I don't mind.
CraftyMom 08:18 AM 02-28-2014
Here's why I don't like calls EVERY day I had a dcm with 2 boys here last year, she would call every day on her lunch and wanted details, not just they are having a good day or bad day. Then when I did tell her honestly (her kids were maniacs and it did not end well at all) she got so defensive. So I went back to general answers, she would pry for details and again get defensive and give me excuses for their behavior, mostly being "oh they're brothers give them a break" Well the simple fact of them being bothers was a huge disturbance in my daycare with their "brotherly" behavior. Over time mom's calls and my honesty about their behavior led to lots of tension and frustration on both ends, mom frustrated with me telling her the kids were behaving a certain way, me frustrated because if she doesn't really want to know she should stop asking, and if she does ask then don't get upset when I tell her! She would say "I want to know EVERYTHING so I can correct their behavior." Her idea of correcting was time out in their room from after supper until bedtime. Or having a 3 year old write over and over I am sorry. When this didn't work she started getting upset with me and I stopped answering her calls.
Needless to say I no longer answer calls every day. Text only and I answer when I can and I do not give details unless I find there to be a problem.
Needless to say I no longer answer calls every day. Text only and I answer when I can and I do not give details unless I find there to be a problem.
Blackcat31 10:33 AM 02-28-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
Here's why I don't like calls EVERY day I had a dcm with 2 boys here last year, she would call every day on her lunch and wanted details, not just they are having a good day or bad day. Then when I did tell her honestly (her kids were maniacs and it did not end well at all) she got so defensive. So I went back to general answers, she would pry for details and again get defensive and give me excuses for their behavior, mostly being "oh they're brothers give them a break" Well the simple fact of them being bothers was a huge disturbance in my daycare with their "brotherly" behavior. Over time mom's calls and my honesty about their behavior led to lots of tension and frustration on both ends, mom frustrated with me telling her the kids were behaving a certain way, me frustrated because if she doesn't really want to know she should stop asking, and if she does ask then don't get upset when I tell her! She would say "I want to know EVERYTHING so I can correct their behavior." Her idea of correcting was time out in their room from after supper until bedtime. Or having a 3 year old write over and over I am sorry. When this didn't work she started getting upset with me and I stopped answering her calls.
Needless to say I no longer answer calls every day. Text only and I answer when I can and I do not give details unless I find there to be a problem.
Besides the above reason (Which is an EXCELLENT explanation of how daily phone calls can go bad) I just don't have the time.Here's why I don't like calls EVERY day I had a dcm with 2 boys here last year, she would call every day on her lunch and wanted details, not just they are having a good day or bad day. Then when I did tell her honestly (her kids were maniacs and it did not end well at all) she got so defensive. So I went back to general answers, she would pry for details and again get defensive and give me excuses for their behavior, mostly being "oh they're brothers give them a break" Well the simple fact of them being bothers was a huge disturbance in my daycare with their "brotherly" behavior. Over time mom's calls and my honesty about their behavior led to lots of tension and frustration on both ends, mom frustrated with me telling her the kids were behaving a certain way, me frustrated because if she doesn't really want to know she should stop asking, and if she does ask then don't get upset when I tell her! She would say "I want to know EVERYTHING so I can correct their behavior." Her idea of correcting was time out in their room from after supper until bedtime. Or having a 3 year old write over and over I am sorry. When this didn't work she started getting upset with me and I stopped answering her calls.
Needless to say I no longer answer calls every day. Text only and I answer when I can and I do not give details unless I find there to be a problem.
I have 10-12 kids each day. If every parent called me to check up on their child's day I would have to devote a minimum of 30-40 minutes PER day or 2-3 HOURS PER week giving updates and daily reports.
Add that to the little bit of "reporting" and chit chat that gets done at drop off and pick up and I have now devoted up wards of 10+ hours per week to pacifying parents as to how their child is doing each minute of the day.
I simply do not have that kind of time outside of the other services I provide.
Texting is similar. It may only take a few seconds but those few seconds/minutes I have to take to reply is time I am not spending providing the rest of my services which includes interacting and supervising the kids.
Bottom line for me is once parents settle in here after the two week trial period, our relationship HAS to be based on trust. If a parent can't understand and respect that, then I am not the right fit for them.
My3cents 11:59 AM 02-28-2014
one- I am too busy to be on the phone. If there is a problem I will call you. If it is a baby under one, I will give you a paper of the babies day when you pick up so you can know what your little ones day was like.
TwinKristi 12:36 PM 02-28-2014
I have moms text me and they can usually see if I've read the msg or not, so if I haven't they know I'm busy. I usually can reply pretty quickly and let them know everything's fine. I have one mom who checks in almost daily, I assume on her lunch, just saying "hey, how's it going?" and its usually nap time. I send her a pic of something we did and say he's fine, was grumpy before nap but seems fine now, ate well, etc. I've never had anyone call me because they usually know I'm busy!
Blackcat31 12:46 PM 02-28-2014
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
I have moms text me and they can usually see if I've read the msg or not, so if I haven't they know I'm busy. I usually can reply pretty quickly and let them know everything's fine. I have one mom who checks in almost daily, I assume on her lunch, just saying "hey, how's it going?" and its usually nap time. I send her a pic of something we did and say he's fine, was grumpy before nap but seems fine now, ate well, etc. I've never had anyone call me because they usually know I'm busy!
If you are using an i-phone, you can turn that off. (NO clue if other smart phones have that feature or not)I have moms text me and they can usually see if I've read the msg or not, so if I haven't they know I'm busy. I usually can reply pretty quickly and let them know everything's fine. I have one mom who checks in almost daily, I assume on her lunch, just saying "hey, how's it going?" and its usually nap time. I send her a pic of something we did and say he's fine, was grumpy before nap but seems fine now, ate well, etc. I've never had anyone call me because they usually know I'm busy!
I don't like people knowing if I have read their texts or not.
I feel obligated to HAVE to reply then and they expect it.
TwinKristi 12:48 PM 02-28-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
If you are using an i-phone, you can turn that off. (NO clue if other smart phones have that feature or not)
I don't like people knowing if I have read their texts or not.
I feel obligated to HAVE to reply then and they expect it.
I don't know how to turn it off, and I really don't mind... It's more for my dh, mom, etc. I used to feel the pressure to reply immediately, but I've gotten much better about it. If you are using an i-phone, you can turn that off. (NO clue if other smart phones have that feature or not)
I don't like people knowing if I have read their texts or not.
I feel obligated to HAVE to reply then and they expect it.
Blackcat31 12:51 PM 02-28-2014
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
I don't know how to turn it off, and I really don't mind... It's more for my dh, mom, etc. I used to feel the pressure to reply immediately, but I've gotten much better about it.
Well for future reference if you ever do want to turn it offI don't know how to turn it off, and I really don't mind... It's more for my dh, mom, etc. I used to feel the pressure to reply immediately, but I've gotten much better about it.
- go to settings
- scroll down to "messages"
- then turn on or off the "send read receipts"
HTH
TwinKristi 12:53 PM 02-28-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Well for future reference if you ever do want to turn it off
HTH
Well for future reference if you ever do want to turn it off
- go to settings
- scroll down to "messages"
- then turn on or off the "send read receipts"
HTH
DaisyMamma 01:34 PM 02-28-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
Dcbaby is 4-5 months old and has been here for 2 months now. Everyday I fill out a "report card" detailing everything baby does all day. Also if there were to be any problems I would call or text mom right away.
So considering those things, plus the fact that I have a very busy demanding job, how many phone calls/texts would you consider to be too many?
Additional FYI - dcm works in a center.
Dcbaby is 4-5 months old and has been here for 2 months now. Everyday I fill out a "report card" detailing everything baby does all day. Also if there were to be any problems I would call or text mom right away.
So considering those things, plus the fact that I have a very busy demanding job, how many phone calls/texts would you consider to be too many?
Additional FYI - dcm works in a center.
I did not review the other responses.
My answer is one.
crazydaycarelady 01:47 PM 02-28-2014
Originally Posted by :
one- I am too busy to be on the phone. If there is a problem I will call you. If it is a baby under one, I will give you a paper of the babies day when you pick up so you can know what your little ones day was like.
Exactly!one- I am too busy to be on the phone. If there is a problem I will call you. If it is a baby under one, I will give you a paper of the babies day when you pick up so you can know what your little ones day was like.