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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Time Away From the Children
mac60 03:21 AM 11-18-2011
Been trying to figure out.....Just how a "mom" could need time to "get away from her children", when I have them from 7:30 to 4:45, 5 days per week. Just how could she "need a break" from something she has very little of. Just wondering.
laundrymom 03:39 AM 11-18-2011
Right there with you. I have had 13 days in 20 years that I wasn't with my children. Hated every moment.
Meyou 04:06 AM 11-18-2011
I really think some parents get so good at avoiding their children that they just don't know what the heck to do with them when they have them. The kids behavior escalates, they still don't know how to deal with it so they start needing more and more breaks to survive.
I have a family that max their time here but Mom works mostly evenings and weekends. Dad has a grandparent watch them on the weekends so he can run errands and neither of them have the ability to cope anymore IMO. Even the kids play tells me what happens at home. They pretend to throw tantrums and then pretend to give in to get it to stop during their play.
ETA: My kids go with their father most weekends and I miss them like crazy. He and I both want them as much as possible but I let him have most weekends because it's next to impossible for him to get them to school during the week.
I have a family that max their time here but Mom works mostly evenings and weekends. Dad has a grandparent watch them on the weekends so he can run errands and neither of them have the ability to cope anymore IMO. Even the kids play tells me what happens at home. They pretend to throw tantrums and then pretend to give in to get it to stop during their play.
ETA: My kids go with their father most weekends and I miss them like crazy. He and I both want them as much as possible but I let him have most weekends because it's next to impossible for him to get them to school during the week.
Sunchimes 04:32 AM 11-18-2011
I know!! On Tuesday, one of my moms asked me to keep her daughter while she ran errands. That was fine-she pays f/t, but I usually only have her 3-4 days a week, and I "owed" her a day. The amazing part to me was that this baby had been with her dad, out of town, from Saturday until Monday night. She had the day off on Monday, why didn't she run errands then and enjoy her baby on Tuesday? I often keep her on her days off when she has a big test to study for, and I understand that, but errands?
Here's the kicker--I run a pretty informal place, and treat them like my grandkids. If I need to run to Walmart or the bank or the library, I throw them in the car or the stroller and go. I took 2 of them to the State Fair. I've taken them to family reunions and out to lunch. If I need to go somewhere, I generally have a baby on my hip, and it's no big deal. If I can do it, why can't they?
I guess I'm glad it's that way--money in my pocket, but I'll never understand it.
Here's the kicker--I run a pretty informal place, and treat them like my grandkids. If I need to run to Walmart or the bank or the library, I throw them in the car or the stroller and go. I took 2 of them to the State Fair. I've taken them to family reunions and out to lunch. If I need to go somewhere, I generally have a baby on my hip, and it's no big deal. If I can do it, why can't they?
I guess I'm glad it's that way--money in my pocket, but I'll never understand it.
Cat Herder 04:40 AM 11-18-2011
No cry parenting is exhausting. 
MARSTELAC 04:41 AM 11-18-2011
I have 7 families. Only two of those are anxious to get to the kids at the end of the day (or drop them off at the last minute). The other 5 families leave those kids here at the first minute the door opens until the last minute before the late charges start. They always whine that they don't have enough "me" time and cannot get anything done with the kids.
I don't understand it either because I have 12 here plus my own 3 and I can take them out to eat, to the post office, etc. (on foot) and manage them all! I get paid as well but I just don't get it. I can only recall 2 days in the past 10 years or so that I was gone from my kids and I also missed them horribly. Maybe they will regret it later?
I don't understand it either because I have 12 here plus my own 3 and I can take them out to eat, to the post office, etc. (on foot) and manage them all! I get paid as well but I just don't get it. I can only recall 2 days in the past 10 years or so that I was gone from my kids and I also missed them horribly. Maybe they will regret it later?
awestbrook713 04:46 AM 11-18-2011
I have a 9 month old son I haven't been away from besides a few hours of training or a trip to the store, I was away from him all monday due to me being in the hospital and all I could think about was how much I missed him, I just don't get it either, what better way to spend my time then with the loves of my life!!!
Solandia 04:48 AM 11-18-2011
Because work & commute time "doesn't count" as being away from your children. I have been told this, and then in the next breath being told how lucky I am to stay at home with my kids. My reply: "I have daycare kids, so it doesn't count at being able to stay at home with mine."
mismatchedsocks 05:20 AM 11-18-2011
When I first got divorced I had to split time with me and their dad. I didnt know what to do with myself, i was bored shopping by myself, even housework or lifetime was not the same without the interruptions. Now that he is not in their lives I have them all the time, which I love, except when I am at school once a month, but they come with me to campus and play in the gym, eat in town, visit me on breaks. I love spending time with them.
I cant imagine being away from them 8-1o hours a day, THEN still wanting time away. I would be rushing to pick them up.
I cant imagine being away from them 8-1o hours a day, THEN still wanting time away. I would be rushing to pick them up.
AfterSchoolMom 05:29 AM 11-18-2011
Our kids spend the night away from home with family an average of 3-4 nights per year. I miss them like crazy when they're gone, and I miss them when they're at school. I LOVE school breaks and the summer when they're home.
I do remember feeling overwhelmed by their constant needs when they were small though. However, I stayed at home so they were with me all day. I remember, also, feeling super stressed for the first few hours after they came home whenever DH and I had a weekend to ourselves (that happened probably 3 times in ten years). Maybe it's like that, but every day?
I have nothing whatsoever against women who work outside the home, but I don't think the answer is MORE time without them when your child is already at the DC for 9-12 hours per day. If you like constant alone time, then maybe having children isn't the best idea.
I do remember feeling overwhelmed by their constant needs when they were small though. However, I stayed at home so they were with me all day. I remember, also, feeling super stressed for the first few hours after they came home whenever DH and I had a weekend to ourselves (that happened probably 3 times in ten years). Maybe it's like that, but every day?
I have nothing whatsoever against women who work outside the home, but I don't think the answer is MORE time without them when your child is already at the DC for 9-12 hours per day. If you like constant alone time, then maybe having children isn't the best idea.
Country Kids 06:56 AM 11-18-2011
Originally Posted by AfterSchoolMom:
Our kids spend the night away from home with family an average of 3-4 nights per year. I miss them like crazy when they're gone, and I miss them when they're at school. I LOVE school breaks and the summer when they're home.
I do remember feeling overwhelmed by their constant needs when they were small though. However, I stayed at home so they were with me all day. I remember, also, feeling super stressed for the first few hours after they came home whenever DH and I had a weekend to ourselves (that happened probably 3 times in ten years). Maybe it's like that, but every day?
I have nothing whatsoever against women who work outside the home, but I don't think the answer is MORE time without them when your child is already at the DC for 9-12 hours per day. If you like constant alone time, then maybe having children isn't the best idea.
You sound just like me! I morn the time when my kids have to go back to school. I am the same way though about stressing out after being without them. It was like they were overboard about needing me to see them but they all needed my attention at once (four of them). It was almost to much for my mind after it had just been me, my husband and a quiet weekend. Our kids spend the night away from home with family an average of 3-4 nights per year. I miss them like crazy when they're gone, and I miss them when they're at school. I LOVE school breaks and the summer when they're home.
I do remember feeling overwhelmed by their constant needs when they were small though. However, I stayed at home so they were with me all day. I remember, also, feeling super stressed for the first few hours after they came home whenever DH and I had a weekend to ourselves (that happened probably 3 times in ten years). Maybe it's like that, but every day?
I have nothing whatsoever against women who work outside the home, but I don't think the answer is MORE time without them when your child is already at the DC for 9-12 hours per day. If you like constant alone time, then maybe having children isn't the best idea.
I know my husband can be like tha when he gets home sometimes. Its almost like you have to get into a whole new mindset for the noise and the kids wanting attention. Especially if you are tired after working and need time to regroup.