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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Vent About Being TOLD Instead Of ASKED :-/
MamaBear 02:54 PM 01-18-2012
Okay so heres the story...
I have a 2 yr old DCG that I've been watching for a little more than a year now. She is full time here Mon-Fri 8-5. Sweet girl but a little testy at times. I think I have complained about them in the past because the dad stays home all day while she's here and picks her up last minute before I close at 5.
Anyway - last month the mom tells me that they have decided to put "Sally" (not her real name - lol) in this new fancy preschool/daycare center that just opened last year. She says they are putting her in this new school starting July 2012. I appreciated the heads up and put in my calendar to plan ahead for this change. I've got 7 months to plan - so I'm okay with that.
THEN yesterday the mom sends me an email informing me that the fancy preschool called and they have a space for her Jan 30th... just 2 weeks from now. BUT they can only take her 4 days a week. So the mom in this email says... and doesn't ask... but says "Sally can only go to the preschool Mon, Wed , Thurs & Fri - so we will continue bringing her to your daycare just on Tuesdays. I will start paying the daily rate of $40 instead of the full time rate effective the week of Jan 30th. She will stay at your daycare until May 29th - just on Tuesdays"
This email rubbed me wrong FIRST because she never asked if any of this was "OK"... she was just TELLING me what she was going to do. No "is this ok with you" or "will this work for you?" Nothing.
I can't afford to just have her here one day a week. $40 a week is one trip to McDonalds for me and the family. Its not worth it to me. Plus all my other daycare kids are gone by 330pm (teacher kids) and her being here till closing every day was driving me crazy. So her leaving completely would be nice for me.
Anyway I emailed the mom back and told her that I cannot accommodate just one day a week of care because I only do full time children in my daycare. And that I have a couple families that really wanted a FT space here... so I would like her last day to be the end of January (in 2 weeks) so that I can replace her full time space with another full timer... since that was the date she'd be starting preschool anyway.
She texts me (vs answering my email) just now and says ... "Ok then can we bring her 2 days a week instead because I know you take part timers". I answered "I used to take part timers but the last year or so I only do full time and I just can't afford or accommodate part time anymore. Sorry".
I know that they are just wanting to bring her here one day a week because the preschool just doesn't have that day available for them to take her.. so they are basically 'using' me until they do. The dad even told me that they have to wait till there are spaces available to get a full time week there.
I don't like the feeling of being 'used' and i don't like being told instead of being asked if something would work for me. I also seriously can't afford to not replace her space with another full timer. I have to get another full timer to cover her and I don't want to take part timers anymore. Just have had bad experience with trying to balance it all in the past.
So I'm irked now about this. Now I have to see the mom at pick up and might be awkward. I just can't afford to have a 1 day kid... but I'm sure the mom thinks I'm just being a jerk. Oh well.
I have a 2 yr old DCG that I've been watching for a little more than a year now. She is full time here Mon-Fri 8-5. Sweet girl but a little testy at times. I think I have complained about them in the past because the dad stays home all day while she's here and picks her up last minute before I close at 5.
Anyway - last month the mom tells me that they have decided to put "Sally" (not her real name - lol) in this new fancy preschool/daycare center that just opened last year. She says they are putting her in this new school starting July 2012. I appreciated the heads up and put in my calendar to plan ahead for this change. I've got 7 months to plan - so I'm okay with that.
THEN yesterday the mom sends me an email informing me that the fancy preschool called and they have a space for her Jan 30th... just 2 weeks from now. BUT they can only take her 4 days a week. So the mom in this email says... and doesn't ask... but says "Sally can only go to the preschool Mon, Wed , Thurs & Fri - so we will continue bringing her to your daycare just on Tuesdays. I will start paying the daily rate of $40 instead of the full time rate effective the week of Jan 30th. She will stay at your daycare until May 29th - just on Tuesdays"
This email rubbed me wrong FIRST because she never asked if any of this was "OK"... she was just TELLING me what she was going to do. No "is this ok with you" or "will this work for you?" Nothing.
I can't afford to just have her here one day a week. $40 a week is one trip to McDonalds for me and the family. Its not worth it to me. Plus all my other daycare kids are gone by 330pm (teacher kids) and her being here till closing every day was driving me crazy. So her leaving completely would be nice for me.
Anyway I emailed the mom back and told her that I cannot accommodate just one day a week of care because I only do full time children in my daycare. And that I have a couple families that really wanted a FT space here... so I would like her last day to be the end of January (in 2 weeks) so that I can replace her full time space with another full timer... since that was the date she'd be starting preschool anyway.
She texts me (vs answering my email) just now and says ... "Ok then can we bring her 2 days a week instead because I know you take part timers". I answered "I used to take part timers but the last year or so I only do full time and I just can't afford or accommodate part time anymore. Sorry".
I know that they are just wanting to bring her here one day a week because the preschool just doesn't have that day available for them to take her.. so they are basically 'using' me until they do. The dad even told me that they have to wait till there are spaces available to get a full time week there.
I don't like the feeling of being 'used' and i don't like being told instead of being asked if something would work for me. I also seriously can't afford to not replace her space with another full timer. I have to get another full timer to cover her and I don't want to take part timers anymore. Just have had bad experience with trying to balance it all in the past.
So I'm irked now about this. Now I have to see the mom at pick up and might be awkward. I just can't afford to have a 1 day kid... but I'm sure the mom thinks I'm just being a jerk. Oh well.
wdmmom 03:07 PM 01-18-2012
Good for you for sticking up for yourself!
I don't appreciate being TOLD what to do either and I have a hard time being nice once a person crosses that line.
Asking you do do 1 day a week is being USED and would constitute drop in care in my book...which I don't do either.
I don't appreciate being TOLD what to do either and I have a hard time being nice once a person crosses that line.
Asking you do do 1 day a week is being USED and would constitute drop in care in my book...which I don't do either.
kidkair 03:11 PM 01-18-2012
Keep being a jerk then. She was a jerk for telling you the plan instead of asking if it was okay. You could always tell her it's fine if dcg comes one or two times a week but her fee is not going to change. Personally I'd type up a formal termination letter and call up the waiting list people.
She was a jerk for telling you the plan instead of asking if it was okay. You could always tell her it's fine if dcg comes one or two times a week but her fee is not going to change. Personally I'd type up a formal termination letter and call up the waiting list people.
laundrymom 03:26 PM 01-18-2012
I wouldnt respond again. She thought you loved her daughter enough to take a huge cut in pay. She forgets that this is your job. Not a favor. I would type up a term paper. Effective for the date she gave you. Have her sign it tomorrow and move on.
cheerfuldom 03:30 PM 01-18-2012
I don't think you are being a jerk. You are just doing what you have to for your family. It will be really nice to end the day at 330 once this girl is gone.
MamaBear 04:20 PM 01-18-2012
Thank you everyone. Great idea about the term letter. I'll get it done tonight & give to the mom in the morning. The dad picked her up just now and it was SUPER awkward. He showed up super early at 3:30... NEVER comes that early. He didn't say ONE word to me! How immature is that? He just talked to the daughter the whole time and left. Weird how as soon as I don't do what they want, they treat me like dirt. Oh well. I guess they are showing their true colors! I'll actually be very relieved to have this situation end so I can be off earlier every day.
Thanks again for all your nice comments. Makes me feel a lot better. I'm proud of myself for not letting them dictate how things would go.
Thanks again for all your nice comments. Makes me feel a lot better. I'm proud of myself for not letting them dictate how things would go.
saved4always 05:07 PM 01-18-2012
Good for you!!!!! 
It sounds like this is going to be a much nicer situation for you without this child. I cannot stand it when parents tell me how I am going to do something, like I am not allowed to have an opinion or a say in what goes on in my home. I haven't had many like that but there have been one or two who thought they could dictate my policy or my schedule (and, of course, were irate when I refused to do it "their way"...lol). It is always a relief to see the back of parents like that!
It sounds like this is going to be a much nicer situation for you without this child. I cannot stand it when parents tell me how I am going to do something, like I am not allowed to have an opinion or a say in what goes on in my home. I haven't had many like that but there have been one or two who thought they could dictate my policy or my schedule (and, of course, were irate when I refused to do it "their way"...lol). It is always a relief to see the back of parents like that!
momma2girls 05:24 PM 01-18-2012
Make sure and let us all know, how the termination letter goes.
MarinaVanessa 05:25 PM 01-18-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBear:
Weird how as soon as I don't do what they want, they treat me like dirt.
And there's the kicker Weird how as soon as I don't do what they want, they treat me like dirt.
At least you can be proud at the fact that you put your foot down and did what's better for your business. Way to go
PitterPatter 06:11 PM 01-18-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBear:
Thank you everyone. Great idea about the term letter. I'll get it done tonight & give to the mom in the morning. The dad picked her up just now and it was SUPER awkward. He showed up super early at 3:30... NEVER comes that early. He didn't say ONE word to me! How immature is that? He just talked to the daughter the whole time and left. Weird how as soon as I don't do what they want, they treat me like dirt. Oh well. I guess they are showing their true colors! I'll actually be very relieved to have this situation end so I can be off earlier every day.
Thanks again for all your nice comments. Makes me feel a lot better. I'm proud of myself for not letting them dictate how things would go.
Good for you sticking to your guns!! My chest puffs out just a little more each time I do that. As for the true colors, you hit the nail on the head!! Been in that same situation being ignored in my own home ticks me off! I would def term now! Watch for them to pull early too. Good luck here I hope you find a great replacement!Thank you everyone. Great idea about the term letter. I'll get it done tonight & give to the mom in the morning. The dad picked her up just now and it was SUPER awkward. He showed up super early at 3:30... NEVER comes that early. He didn't say ONE word to me! How immature is that? He just talked to the daughter the whole time and left. Weird how as soon as I don't do what they want, they treat me like dirt. Oh well. I guess they are showing their true colors! I'll actually be very relieved to have this situation end so I can be off earlier every day.
Thanks again for all your nice comments. Makes me feel a lot better. I'm proud of myself for not letting them dictate how things would go.
littlemissmuffet 09:21 PM 01-18-2012
LOL, it never ceases to amaze me how incredibly ignorant people can be. I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself and for your business - GREAT JOB!!!