Daycare.com Forum Daycare Forum

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-10-2011, 11:48 AM
godiva83's Avatar
godiva83 godiva83 is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Toronto
Posts: 581
Default Just Exhausted

Hi everyone I just need to vent today... And this is the place to do it!!!

I am about 8 weeks pregnant and have had such a rocky start to this pregnancy, with low progesterone, spotting and now 'all day sickness'
Between the progesterone shots, Diclectin and my other meds I am totally drugged up and just EXHAUSTED
I have an assistant, but she doesn't seem to get that sometimes I just need her here so I can go sit with my feet up- I am afraid I will have to let her go soon, and search for another one!!
My house is falling apart, DH is upset because he says I am harping on him all the time- but he doesn't get that I need his help with cleaning and taking care of our DS in the evening.
Ugh sorry just so emotionally drained and physically exhausted I am praying I get more strength soon or I am afraid I may have to close shop
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 11-10-2011, 11:56 AM
Heidi's Avatar
Heidi Heidi is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 6,858
Default

If DH doesn't get it, just hand him DS and say "I'm sorry, I don't feel well. I am going to bed". Give them each a kiss, and then do it! The world will NOT fall apart without you.

Besides, when he is sick, I am wiling to bet that is what he does????

You can always pull the 'Hey, YOU are the one that got me into this mess!"
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-10-2011, 12:00 PM
godiva83's Avatar
godiva83 godiva83 is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Toronto
Posts: 581
Default

True - so obvious but so true! That will be my plan tonight
BUT I know I will wake up to a house that is a disaster
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-10-2011, 12:05 PM
sharlan's Avatar
sharlan sharlan is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chino, California
Posts: 6,040
Default

It sounds like you are having a rough time right now. If need be, tell your assistant exactly what you need from her right now, in writing.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-10-2011, 12:37 PM
nannyde's Avatar
nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Des Moines
Posts: 7,311
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by godiva83 View Post
Hi everyone I just need to vent today... And this is the place to do it!!!

I am about 8 weeks pregnant and have had such a rocky start to this pregnancy, with low progesterone, spotting and now 'all day sickness'
Between the progesterone shots, Diclectin and my other meds I am totally drugged up and just EXHAUSTED
I have an assistant, but she doesn't seem to get that sometimes I just need her here so I can go sit with my feet up- I am afraid I will have to let her go soon, and search for another one!!
My house is falling apart, DH is upset because he says I am harping on him all the time- but he doesn't get that I need his help with cleaning and taking care of our DS in the evening.
Ugh sorry just so emotionally drained and physically exhausted I am praying I get more strength soon or I am afraid I may have to close shop
When your DH is cleaning the home and caring for his son he is NOT helping you. He is DOING HIS JOB.

Can you imagine the reaction he would get if he said "my wife doesn't help me clean or care for our son"

Silly isn't it.

You need to get across to him that his JOB is to clean, cook, do laundry, and care for the children. He isn't your helper. He is the owner of the job in the first place. Just because you are working in the home it doesn't meant that the home and kid become your responsibility. He has to understand that when he gets home from his job he needs to dig right in and do housework, laundry, child care, etc.

What is your helper doing when she's not doing what you want her to do?
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 11-10-2011, 02:00 PM
Nellie's Avatar
Nellie Nellie is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 260
Default

I'm sorry that you aren't feeling well and will pray that you will regain strength, energy, and alertness. I've been there and I know how miserable it is. Give your assistant a job description, duties, and what is expected from her(if you already haven't). I sometimes think that they belive they are equal and if you are taking a break they can too. If she isn't doing what you would like, let her know. Redirect her to the tasks that need to be done. If you want to go take a nap, give her duties that you expect her to do while you are napping. I don't know how long your assistant stays through out the day and I don't know how many kids you have, but if you can make sure the last hour she is there is devoted to cleaning(especially if she is there in the afternoon). Work with the DCK's on picking up after themselves(if they already don't).

If you live in a warmer climate area maybe take the kids outside after nap(to keep the house cleaner in the afternoon). Maybe do a craft at the table or play a games with them in the afternoon to try to keep some of the toys put away. I'm typically a NO tv gal, but in circumstances like this maybe the last 1/2 hour of the day have a show on for the kids to watch so you can do some cleaning then. If you can have the majority of the house clean when your DH gets home let him know that now it is HIS responsibility to pick up after himself and your son and go to bed.

Try to simplify anything in your home life that you can. Even with a dishwasher loading and unloading it can take time. Perhaps use paper plates, bowls, and silverware. I use steam-able bags of veggies that go in the microwave. Even though it is just one pot that isn't being used it saves a little space in the dishwasher. If you wash the floors on your hands and knees, buy a swiffer mop. Try to make the easiest suppers possible. Especially on days that you are feeling particularly under the weather have frozen meals that you just need to stick in the oven or quick fry up.
Let your husband know that you need help. Maybe he doesn't know what you need done and give him his "chores". Let him know that with out help you may have to quit doing the daycare until you are feeling better. With the spotting you have had I would imagine that you should be getting as much rest and limited heavy physical activity. Get any help from friends and family if possible.

I realize it is hard to ask for help, but I'm sure most love to help. Get as many sisters, sister in laws, nieces, nephews, neighbors, friends, and church members to come over on a Sat or Sunday afternoon and have them cook daycare lunches that can be frozen and heated up. Have them help out with the weekly dusting, washing windows, bathrooms, and laundry. If you are on Facebook send out an invitation for a cooking/cleaning event. Explain that you are very sick and need the help. What takes one person 5 hours to complete on there own will only take 4 an hour. If I lived near you I'd come over and help.

I had all day sickness with the last 2 of my children that lasted the entire pregnancy. It did lighten up as the pregnancy went on, but there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't throw up at least once. Because I was a stay at home mom I think that is why my OB never offered me anything for the sickness. I have had friends that were given anti nausea medication so that they were able to continue with work. Perhaps you could ask. If you were sick with the entire pregnancy with your other child/children maybe you might consider getting rid off all but 2 or 3 of the daycare kids. Get rid of the assistant and keep the best paying and easiest children(if it is something that you can afford to do).

Congratulations on you new bundle of joy that is on it's way. I will keep you in my prayers and I hope you start feeling better soon.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 11-10-2011 at 02:12 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-10-2011, 02:23 PM
cheerfuldom's Avatar
cheerfuldom cheerfuldom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,414
Default

you need to redistribute tasks between you and your husband. he cannot do the whole "women's work" thing since you are doing daycare and helping him with the income, the "man's work". He can't have the housewife and the money-making wife. Do not let him guilt you into doing everything. Thats a fast track for burn out and eventually divorce. I see this with A LOT of my friends that are working women and me and my husband went through it too. Happily, he finally matured and will do everything at home that is needed. We are a team in every way but it took 9 years to get there.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 11-10-2011, 03:13 PM
CheekyChick's Avatar
CheekyChick CheekyChick is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 811
Default

I'm sorry you're struggling...

This is what I would do:

A) Find an assistant who is capable of doing more and keeping things in order so you can rest at least an hour a day.

B) Have a heart to heart with hubby. Tell him you are going to CRACK if he can't help a bit more at night. Throw in a few tears for good measure.

C) Remember that you will hopefully feel better after the first trimester.

Things WILL get better. It just may take time to get there...
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 11-11-2011, 09:26 AM
godiva83's Avatar
godiva83 godiva83 is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Toronto
Posts: 581
Default

Thanks everyone

And Nellie you are so sweet I would take you up on your offer- too bad I don't have Neighbours like you gals.
Sadly I haven't had time to talk to DH so nothing has changed there and my assistant called in sick for the rest of the week!!

Thankfully my SIL had work off and wanted to take DS for the day! However, she can be so rude and she made some silly comments about 'morning sickness' being an all mental thing and I really need to pull it together soon... I almost slapped her I was so upset! We are suppssed to go for dinner at my inlaws but 'mentally' I don't think I can make it lol
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 11-11-2011, 09:37 AM
hoopinglady's Avatar
hoopinglady hoopinglady is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 248
Default

Hang in there. Everyone has really good advice.

Also, in my experience, I felt really good months 4-7.

Congrats to you, too!
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 11-11-2011, 09:47 AM
daycare's Avatar
daycare daycare is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mars
Posts: 16,021
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by godiva83 View Post
Thanks everyone

And Nellie you are so sweet I would take you up on your offer- too bad I don't have Neighbours like you gals.
Sadly I haven't had time to talk to DH so nothing has changed there and my assistant called in sick for the rest of the week!!

Thankfully my SIL had work off and wanted to take DS for the day! However, she can be so rude and she made some silly comments about 'morning sickness' being an all mental thing and I really need to pull it together soon... I almost slapped her I was so upset! We are suppssed to go for dinner at my inlaws but 'mentally' I don't think I can make it lol
If morning sickness is all mental then why did I throw up my entire pregnancy both times and had to be on bed rest, 2x week hospital IV , and put on zofran for the entire pregnancies.

I wish it were mental.. If it were then you could force yourself to throw up on her. Show her just how much mental control you have.

You poor thing. You need to wake up on a Saturday morning, leave a sweet note to your family on the counter and go find a nice inexpensive day spa to spoil yourself and the new baby.

I had to get out like this a few times or I was going to check out.

Hugs and luck to you...
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 11-11-2011, 10:13 AM
godiva83's Avatar
godiva83 godiva83 is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Toronto
Posts: 581
Default

Daycare- I wanted to throw up all over her designer boots so badly!!

I am taking Diclectin an anti- nausea medication that was prescribed by my doctor not a psychiatrist lol

Great idea about the spa
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-13-2012, 10:52 PM
Canadianprovider's Avatar
Canadianprovider Canadianprovider is offline
New Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 5
Default

Get things in order now before things get more hectic! If you think it's exhausting now, what are you going to do when you have been up all night with a sick baby and are feeling sick too?? I'm not being mean, just trying to give you a dose of reality...babies are not easy...especially when your sick too. I think writing up some kind of agreement with your husband now, and/or talking about the what ifs might benefit, instead of determining who does what when you have a crying baby. If things get too stressful, always tell yourself "This Too Shall Pass", and remember tough moments don't last forever!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 04-14-2012, 04:14 AM
Meyou's Avatar
Meyou Meyou is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,705
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by godiva83 View Post
Daycare- I wanted to throw up all over her designer boots so badly!!

I am taking Diclectin an anti- nausea medication that was prescribed by my doctor not a psychiatrist lol

Great idea about the spa
You might want to talk to your doctor about increasing the diclectin. I had to take it 4 times per day with both my pregnancies to barely function but it did help ALOT. When I missed one I was a horrible mess. It shouldn't make you tired either....that's probably just everything else going on.

...and hugs.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
exhausted, vent

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
You Know You're Exhausted (And A Mom) When... Daycare_Mama Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 21 12-27-2010 08:12 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:40 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming