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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Vent! Kids taking food from my house when they leave.
ImFromTheStars 05:17 PM 08-20-2014
Sometimes I feel like I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over... Especially when their parents are present because then they feel like "Are you gonna tell me NO with my mom standing here?". It's really frustrating because I have a few kids who, every day, when they leave, despite my warnings.... They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food or ask me if they can take snacks home after I have told them all several times, no you can not because we need those for snack time. I for understand how a parent can stand there and watch their child go in someone else's refrigerator or cabinet and take food especially when they observe me telling the child no?!!!! I'm at my end with this!
JenNJ 05:39 PM 08-20-2014
"Tommy, those snacks are to eat at snacktime here. Your house s snacks and dinner is soon."
Send a memo out to ALL families that no snacks will be sent home. The parents can pack a snack for the car ride home if they must.
Send a memo out to ALL families that no snacks will be sent home. The parents can pack a snack for the car ride home if they must.
Angelsj 05:43 PM 08-20-2014
Good heavens! Stand up for yourself. You can be kind and firm at the same time. Yes, you CAN and should tell the child no with their parents standing right there.
"Kiddo, it is rude to go into other people's refrigerator or cabinets without asking. We already had snack and your supper is coming soon. Get your shoes on." All said while ushering the kid out your door.
If you are allowing the kids in your cabinets or refrigerator at other times, put a stop to that as well. They need to ask for what they want, and wait for you to ok it and/or tell them they may have it.
"Kiddo, it is rude to go into other people's refrigerator or cabinets without asking. We already had snack and your supper is coming soon. Get your shoes on." All said while ushering the kid out your door.
If you are allowing the kids in your cabinets or refrigerator at other times, put a stop to that as well. They need to ask for what they want, and wait for you to ok it and/or tell them they may have it.
Play Care 05:45 PM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by ImFromTheStars:
Sometimes I feel like I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over... Especially when their parents are present because then they feel like "Are you gonna tell me NO with my mom standing here?". It's really frustrating because I have a few kids who, every day, when they leave, despite my warnings.... They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food or ask me if they can take snacks home after I have told them all several times, no you can not because we need those for snack time. I for understand how a parent can stand there and watch their child go in someone else's refrigerator or cabinet and take food especially when they observe me telling the child no?!!!! I'm at my end with this!
You need to take control NOW. It would be over my dead body that kids went in to my cabinets to take food after being told no. Sometimes I feel like I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over... Especially when their parents are present because then they feel like "Are you gonna tell me NO with my mom standing here?". It's really frustrating because I have a few kids who, every day, when they leave, despite my warnings.... They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food or ask me if they can take snacks home after I have told them all several times, no you can not because we need those for snack time. I for understand how a parent can stand there and watch their child go in someone else's refrigerator or cabinet and take food especially when they observe me telling the child no?!!!! I'm at my end with this!
You are not being mean, or rude, or unreasonable telling the kids NO. I don't care WHO is there - their parent, their grandmother, the Pope, etc.
Take charge! Remember people only use door mats to wipe their feet...
AmyKidsCo 05:48 PM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by Angelsj:
Good heavens! Stand up for yourself. You can be kind and firm at the same time. Yes, you CAN and should tell the child no with their parents standing right there.
"Kiddo, it is rude to go into other people's refrigerator or cabinets without asking. We already had snack and your supper is coming soon. Get your shoes on." All said while ushering the kid out your door.
If you are allowing the kids in your cabinets or refrigerator at other times, put a stop to that as well. They need to ask for what they want, and wait for you to ok it and/or tell them they may have it.
OMG rude!Good heavens! Stand up for yourself. You can be kind and firm at the same time. Yes, you CAN and should tell the child no with their parents standing right there.
"Kiddo, it is rude to go into other people's refrigerator or cabinets without asking. We already had snack and your supper is coming soon. Get your shoes on." All said while ushering the kid out your door.
If you are allowing the kids in your cabinets or refrigerator at other times, put a stop to that as well. They need to ask for what they want, and wait for you to ok it and/or tell them they may have it.
This calls for a 3-pronged approach.
First, move the snacks to where they can't reach them - up high in the cupboard and in the back of the fridge.
Then tell them "No" and stand between the child and the door with your hand out until they hand it over.
Finally, bill the parents for the cost of buying a whole new item. If the child took a handful of crackers, bill the parents for a whole box. If they took 1 apple, bill the parents for a whole bag.
midaycare 07:24 PM 08-20-2014
Child proof locks are your friend
Cradle2crayons 07:36 PM 08-20-2014
Neither my own kids OR my daycare kids would EVERRRRR OPEN THE FRIDGE OR SNACK CABINET WITHOUT MY EXPRESS PERMISSION.
BETTER YET, my own kids and dycare kids know exactly what time meals and snacks are and know better than to even ASK if it weren't that time anyway.
Either stand up for yourself or just hand them out at the door.
BETTER YET, my own kids and dycare kids know exactly what time meals and snacks are and know better than to even ASK if it weren't that time anyway.
Either stand up for yourself or just hand them out at the door.
EntropyControlSpecialist 07:43 PM 08-20-2014
Originally Posted by midaycare:
Child proof locks are your friend
Yes. If you struggle with taking back the items stolen from your cupboards then this would be the way to go.Child proof locks are your friend
craftymissbeth 08:15 PM 08-20-2014
Hold their hand until the parent has hold of them. Do not let the parent let go of their child. Also, banish the idea that you can't discipline while parents are present. IMO, that's the perfect time to do it.
My dck's know from a very young age (think not even talking yet) that they are NOT allowed in the kitchen unless they have permission. I have a gate installed at the kitchen door, but my current kids know well enough not to even try so I've been able to keep it down.
My advice is to be firm and not be afraid to tell them no. Don't be afraid to tell the parent "this can't happen". Don't be afraid to hand them over and immediately shoo them out.
My dck's know from a very young age (think not even talking yet) that they are NOT allowed in the kitchen unless they have permission. I have a gate installed at the kitchen door, but my current kids know well enough not to even try so I've been able to keep it down.
My advice is to be firm and not be afraid to tell them no. Don't be afraid to tell the parent "this can't happen". Don't be afraid to hand them over and immediately shoo them out.
Josiegirl 02:53 AM 08-21-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
Hold their hand until the parent has hold of them. Do not let the parent let go of their child. Also, banish the idea that you can't discipline while parents are present. IMO, that's the perfect time to do it.
My dck's know from a very young age (think not even talking yet) that they are NOT allowed in the kitchen unless they have permission. I have a gate installed at the kitchen door, but my current kids know well enough not to even try so I've been able to keep it down.
My advice is to be firm and not be afraid to tell them no. Don't be afraid to tell the parent "this can't happen". Don't be afraid to hand them over and immediately shoo them out.
Parents(and providers too) are sometimes hesitant about disciplining in front of others. I was always a little intimidated about speaking up and correcting a parent's child with the parent right there, but after I did it a few times with a particular dcf, dcm stepped up and did it too. I think some people are just afraid of appearing 'mean' in front of others, even though you're not being mean.Hold their hand until the parent has hold of them. Do not let the parent let go of their child. Also, banish the idea that you can't discipline while parents are present. IMO, that's the perfect time to do it.
My dck's know from a very young age (think not even talking yet) that they are NOT allowed in the kitchen unless they have permission. I have a gate installed at the kitchen door, but my current kids know well enough not to even try so I've been able to keep it down.
My advice is to be firm and not be afraid to tell them no. Don't be afraid to tell the parent "this can't happen". Don't be afraid to hand them over and immediately shoo them out.
Talk about it with the dcks before dcparents come to pick up, then when they try to take snacks home, give them a look and say 'you know what we talked about. You can no longer do that. Save room for supper.' And yes, definitely hide them away, up high.
midaycare 03:47 AM 08-21-2014
I don't discipline in front of parents - that's their job. But I make it so the parents have to help me. In your situation I would say, in a sweet voice dripping with honey, "Now dck, you know we need those snacks for snack time. Or else I won't have anything for you to eat tomorrow. May I have it back please? It will be here for you tomorrow." Then I stare at the parents.
But also, like I said, child proof locks. I have one who is always hungry. Not for my food though! She threw a fit yesterday at pickup because I wouldn't give her a third serving of a snack. Oh well!
But also, like I said, child proof locks. I have one who is always hungry. Not for my food though! She threw a fit yesterday at pickup because I wouldn't give her a third serving of a snack. Oh well!
Cat Herder 04:47 AM 08-21-2014
Originally Posted by ImFromTheStars:
I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over...
"Are you gonna tell me NO?".
despite my warnings....
They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food
I'm at my end with this!
Tell then No. Mean it. Enforce it. I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over...
"Are you gonna tell me NO?".
despite my warnings....
They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food
I'm at my end with this!
Only you can stop this. Only you can allow this. Sorry to be so blunt, but this is a self created issue. Good news, you can fix it today.
Walk kids to the door. Have parent stay at door. Outside. Buh Bye outside.
Stick around, we will stiffen that backbone in record time.
ImFromTheStars 05:44 AM 08-21-2014
Thank you for all of your responses! Before the parents even get here, I give all of the children a talk about it... And when parents show up, what I said goes out the door. I tell the children "no, I'm sorry you can't have that" in front of the parents. One parent will back me up but another parent will stand there while his kids go through my fridge and pantry saying "well you said you didn't have extra snack but I see goldfish right there" 
it honestly makes me feel so disrespected that the children do that to me and the parents won't back me up. It's just awful. I don't want to be ugly to anyone but I am going to take the advice that was given by you all!
it honestly makes me feel so disrespected that the children do that to me and the parents won't back me up. It's just awful. I don't want to be ugly to anyone but I am going to take the advice that was given by you all!
Blackcat31 05:57 AM 08-21-2014
Originally Posted by ImFromTheStars:
Thank you for all of your responses! Before the parents even get here, I give all of the children a talk about it... And when parents show up, what I said goes out the door. I tell the children "no, I'm sorry you can't have that" in front of the parents. One parent will back me up but another parent will stand there while his kids go through my fridge and pantry saying "well you said you didn't have extra snack but I see goldfish right there" it honestly makes me feel so disrespected that the children do that to me and the parents won't back me out. It's just awful. I don't want to be ugly to anyone but I am going to take the advice that was given by you all!
Hun, standing up for yourself is not being ugly to anyone.Thank you for all of your responses! Before the parents even get here, I give all of the children a talk about it... And when parents show up, what I said goes out the door. I tell the children "no, I'm sorry you can't have that" in front of the parents. One parent will back me up but another parent will stand there while his kids go through my fridge and pantry saying "well you said you didn't have extra snack but I see goldfish right there"
it honestly makes me feel so disrespected that the children do that to me and the parents won't back me out. It's just awful. I don't want to be ugly to anyone but I am going to take the advice that was given by you all!These children are being VERY disrespectful to you and the parents are being even MORE disrespectful and rude by allowing their children to take advantage of your kindheart.
Start telling the parents that no food will be brought home for your house anymore. NO Exceptions.
Send a note out to ALL parents. Tell them you expect them to curb their child's requests and stop their children's rude behavior.
These kids aren't going to be able to go into other people's lockers at school and rummage through their lunchboxes so it is NOT an acceptable behavior.
Setting rules and boundaries in YOUR home is your responsibility and something that will get easier every time you have to do it.
Rockgirl 05:59 AM 08-21-2014
I would put my hand on the cupboard door or refrigerator the child is going for and say, "I already told you no." If the parent doesn't back you up, tell them the kids aren't allowed to open your cupboards or fridge. It'll feel awkward the first time. It gets easier!
Heidi 06:00 AM 08-21-2014
Originally Posted by ImFromTheStars:
Thank you for all of your responses! Before the parents even get here, I give all of the children a talk about it... And when parents show up, what I said goes out the door. I tell the children "no, I'm sorry you can't have that" in front of the parents. One parent will back me up but another parent will stand there while his kids go through my fridge and pantry saying "well you said you didn't have extra snack but I see goldfish right there" it honestly makes me feel so disrespected that the children do that to me and the parents won't back me out. It's just awful. I don't want to be ugly to anyone but I am going to take the advice that was given by you all!
If they are old enough to articulate all that, I would go with "Stop! We talked about this. Now, go get your coat on".Thank you for all of your responses! Before the parents even get here, I give all of the children a talk about it... And when parents show up, what I said goes out the door. I tell the children "no, I'm sorry you can't have that" in front of the parents. One parent will back me up but another parent will stand there while his kids go through my fridge and pantry saying "well you said you didn't have extra snack but I see goldfish right there"
it honestly makes me feel so disrespected that the children do that to me and the parents won't back me out. It's just awful. I don't want to be ugly to anyone but I am going to take the advice that was given by you all!FIRM does not equal "Mean".
Rockgirl 06:13 AM 08-21-2014
You can talk to dck's till you're blue in the face when parents aren't around. They'll test the boundaries as soon as the parents walk thru the door. It's up to you to keep those boundaries intact. You can do it!
MrsSteinel'sHouse 06:44 AM 08-21-2014
I would also not allow children in my cupboards or frig- ever. My kitchen is gated off.
But, you might offer a new service- for $25 a week you will send home a healthy to go snack for the car. mini bottle of water a baggie of something, goldfish, cut up apple, cucumber slices. You get the idea. If they do not opt in to the new program, you expect the parents to enforce no food from your house. If their child "helps themselves to a snack" it is $25 per time inconvenience fee.
I would work it something like- I am now offering a new program! I will be offering a healthy take home snack each day. It seems that some children are very hungry at pick up and this will give them the opportunity to have a snack in the car on the way home. I will provide a water and a baggie with a snack to go! The price for this service will be $25 a week. If you opt not to participate and your child insists on a to go snack, it will be $25 per incident since I will not be prepared to provide a snack for your child. I am so excited to be able to provide this service for you!
But, you might offer a new service- for $25 a week you will send home a healthy to go snack for the car. mini bottle of water a baggie of something, goldfish, cut up apple, cucumber slices. You get the idea.
If they do not opt in to the new program, you expect the parents to enforce no food from your house. If their child "helps themselves to a snack" it is $25 per time inconvenience fee. I would work it something like- I am now offering a new program! I will be offering a healthy take home snack each day. It seems that some children are very hungry at pick up and this will give them the opportunity to have a snack in the car on the way home. I will provide a water and a baggie with a snack to go! The price for this service will be $25 a week. If you opt not to participate and your child insists on a to go snack, it will be $25 per incident since I will not be prepared to provide a snack for your child. I am so excited to be able to provide this service for you!
lovemykidstoo 07:07 AM 08-21-2014
That is terrible. I have had a few ask for a snack and I just simply say "we just had snack remember and dinner is very soon I'm sure". that usually curbed it. I did have one 2 yr old that went to my cupboard and open it and mom says "oh my gosh, does he go in your cupboard alot"? I said "no, I dont' allow it" and then I said to dcb "what are you doing? You know you're not supposed to be in there, let's go". He came to me and out he went. But she never said anything to him like get out of the cupboard or anything. She just laughed like oh so cute dcb. Irritating that some parents think that just because we have a daycare that every ounce of our house is for the public.
How old is this child you're talking about?
How old is this child you're talking about?
ColorfulSunburst 07:23 AM 08-21-2014
Children only do what WE allow them to do. Don't wait what parents will/will not allow to do in your home. It is your home and it is only your rules.
One of my rule is "no children in the kitchen". No one of them try to get in there even if the gate is not locked.
Make YOUR rules and follow them non-stop.
One of my rule is "no children in the kitchen". No one of them try to get in there even if the gate is not locked.
Make YOUR rules and follow them non-stop.
KiddieCahoots 07:33 AM 08-21-2014
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse:
I would also not allow children in my cupboards or frig- ever. My kitchen is gated off.
But, you might offer a new service- for $25 a week you will send home a healthy to go snack for the car. mini bottle of water a baggie of something, goldfish, cut up apple, cucumber slices. You get the idea. If they do not opt in to the new program, you expect the parents to enforce no food from your house. If their child "helps themselves to a snack" it is $25 per time inconvenience fee.
I would work it something like- I am now offering a new program! I will be offering a healthy take home snack each day. It seems that some children are very hungry at pick up and this will give them the opportunity to have a snack in the car on the way home. I will provide a water and a baggie with a snack to go! The price for this service will be $25 a week. If you opt not to participate and your child insists on a to go snack, it will be $25 per incident since I will not be prepared to provide a snack for your child. I am so excited to be able to provide this service for you!
I would also not allow children in my cupboards or frig- ever. My kitchen is gated off.
But, you might offer a new service- for $25 a week you will send home a healthy to go snack for the car. mini bottle of water a baggie of something, goldfish, cut up apple, cucumber slices. You get the idea.
If they do not opt in to the new program, you expect the parents to enforce no food from your house. If their child "helps themselves to a snack" it is $25 per time inconvenience fee. I would work it something like- I am now offering a new program! I will be offering a healthy take home snack each day. It seems that some children are very hungry at pick up and this will give them the opportunity to have a snack in the car on the way home. I will provide a water and a baggie with a snack to go! The price for this service will be $25 a week. If you opt not to participate and your child insists on a to go snack, it will be $25 per incident since I will not be prepared to provide a snack for your child. I am so excited to be able to provide this service for you!
...love it! Money talks to most parents.I had a child do this...once upon a time.
Dcm was no help either. I told the child no, took him by the hand and guided him to his mom. Of course he became spaghetti boy, and tried wriggling out of my arms, that's when I took the opportunity to tell them both, when parents are here to pick up, it is time to go! And told dcm if it continued, I would have dcb ready to meet her outside the door. It stopped.
Leigh 07:39 AM 08-21-2014
You have received good advice. For older kids who continue to do this, I would not hesitate to enforce a consequence at drop off the following day.
Joey, you broke the rule about going in my cupboards last night before you left. This morning, your consequence is XXX. From now on, when you break my rules when it is time to go home, you will have XXX consequence when you get here in the morning. It's NOT OK to break the rules here at any time, whether your parents are here or not, and it is not going to happen any more. Remind the child of the consequence daily until it stops. I will give a consequence to a child at pickup time for something serious (hitting, etc.), but for things that are a child being manipulative, they can wait til morning (I don't want them staying longer to sit in time out or whatever, but will do it when I feel it is necessary).
Joey, you broke the rule about going in my cupboards last night before you left. This morning, your consequence is XXX. From now on, when you break my rules when it is time to go home, you will have XXX consequence when you get here in the morning. It's NOT OK to break the rules here at any time, whether your parents are here or not, and it is not going to happen any more. Remind the child of the consequence daily until it stops. I will give a consequence to a child at pickup time for something serious (hitting, etc.), but for things that are a child being manipulative, they can wait til morning (I don't want them staying longer to sit in time out or whatever, but will do it when I feel it is necessary).
lovemykidstoo 07:52 AM 08-21-2014
You could always let him take what he wanted and when he wanted snack the next day say "oh sorry, you had your snack last night when you were leaving". LOL
daycaremum 09:09 AM 08-21-2014
My kitchen is off limits to children, I can't imagine them ever even trying to go in their and help themselves!!! You are in charge, if you don't want them doing it tell them please get out of my cupboards, we have already had our snack, I'm sure you're parent will give you something when you get home. If they don't stop, physically move them and shut the cupboard and tell them it is time for them to go home. Also issue a consequence if it happens again. This is my home…if they are doing something that bothers me I have no problem telling the child that right in front of their parent. I don't care if they leave upset (either the parent or the child) if I believe I have reacted in an reasonable manner. I just can not believe that the parents of these children don't stop their own children from doing that, that is also a problem. I would likely be sending home a memo to all families about this situation and how parents need to be in control of their children at pick up time…. Sheesh.
AmyKidsCo 09:15 AM 08-21-2014
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
You could always let him take what he wanted and when he wanted snack the next day say "oh sorry, you had your snack last night when you were leaving". LOL
I did something similar several years ago, the mom filed a complaint and I got written up by my licensor for it.You could always let him take what he wanted and when he wanted snack the next day say "oh sorry, you had your snack last night when you were leaving". LOL
My3cents 10:29 AM 08-21-2014
Originally Posted by ImFromTheStars:
Sometimes I feel like I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over... Especially when their parents are present because then they feel like "Are you gonna tell me NO with my mom standing here?". It's really frustrating because I have a few kids who, every day, when they leave, despite my warnings.... They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food or ask me if they can take snacks home after I have told them all several times, no you can not because we need those for snack time. I for understand how a parent can stand there and watch their child go in someone else's refrigerator or cabinet and take food especially when they observe me telling the child no?!!!! I'm at my end with this!
your overly nice!Sometimes I feel like I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over... Especially when their parents are present because then they feel like "Are you gonna tell me NO with my mom standing here?". It's really frustrating because I have a few kids who, every day, when they leave, despite my warnings.... They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food or ask me if they can take snacks home after I have told them all several times, no you can not because we need those for snack time. I for understand how a parent can stand there and watch their child go in someone else's refrigerator or cabinet and take food especially when they observe me telling the child no?!!!! I'm at my end with this!
No! Snacks are for snack time. If a parent stands there and says nothing to their own child you look at the parent and ask them to please take the child that you have said no. You can do this nicely------- Mom, Can you please take little Johnny, he has been told no to snacks at this time of the day and that snacks are for snack time and he really should not be into my cupboards for anything with out asking me. Now if she is resistant.......and says oh no its ok.........you look at her and say No Mom it is not ok. Please take Johnny home and you can give him a snack there.
No way would the kids be getting into my cupboards- not only is that dangerous but they don't belong there. Its one thing if you hand out a basket with a choice in it, but to blatently go into your cupboards is rude and a rule here of No way!
Your allowing this to happen and the only way to stop it is to go outside your comfort zone and put your foot down and make the parent accountable.
Best~
My3cents 10:38 AM 08-21-2014
Originally Posted by ImFromTheStars:
Thank you for all of your responses! Before the parents even get here, I give all of the children a talk about it... And when parents show up, what I said goes out the door. I tell the children "no, I'm sorry you can't have that" in front of the parents. One parent will back me up but another parent will stand there while his kids go through my fridge and pantry saying "well you said you didn't have extra snack but I see goldfish right there" it honestly makes me feel so disrespected that the children do that to me and the parents won't back me up. It's just awful. I don't want to be ugly to anyone but I am going to take the advice that was given by you all!
you look at that child and you say........you don't belong in my cupboard! If you want a snack you will have to get it at home! Now go stand next to your parent until you leave. You say this in front of the parent. IF the child refuses you make Mom or Dad step in and control it. If that doesn't work you hand the child off at the door and don't let the parent come in.........and you tell them why your doing that. I have an issue with disrespect while your here and until it can get under control pick up will be at the door. If you have to talk with me about anything you may call me or text me and I will get back to you when I can.Thank you for all of your responses! Before the parents even get here, I give all of the children a talk about it... And when parents show up, what I said goes out the door. I tell the children "no, I'm sorry you can't have that" in front of the parents. One parent will back me up but another parent will stand there while his kids go through my fridge and pantry saying "well you said you didn't have extra snack but I see goldfish right there"
it honestly makes me feel so disrespected that the children do that to me and the parents won't back me up. It's just awful. I don't want to be ugly to anyone but I am going to take the advice that was given by you all!Good luck- be strong
My3cents 10:51 AM 08-21-2014
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
You could always let him take what he wanted and when he wanted snack the next day say "oh sorry, you had your snack last night when you were leaving". LOL
I wouldn't do this.....for one thing its not dealing with the problem then and there and over night this problem has become lostYou could always let him take what he wanted and when he wanted snack the next day say "oh sorry, you had your snack last night when you were leaving". LOL
Originally Posted by Leigh:
You have received good advice. For older kids who continue to do this, I would not hesitate to enforce a consequence at drop off the following day.
Joey, you broke the rule about going in my cupboards last night before you left. This morning, your consequence is XXX. From now on, when you break my rules when it is time to go home, you will have XXX consequence when you get here in the morning. It's NOT OK to break the rules here at any time, whether your parents are here or not, and it is not going to happen any more. Remind the child of the consequence daily until it stops. I will give a consequence to a child at pickup time for something serious (hitting, etc.), but for things that are a child being manipulative, they can wait til morning (I don't want them staying longer to sit in time out or whatever, but will do it when I feel it is necessary).
Again the issue is lost over night......and I wouldn't want to start the day off in the negative. You have received good advice. For older kids who continue to do this, I would not hesitate to enforce a consequence at drop off the following day.
Joey, you broke the rule about going in my cupboards last night before you left. This morning, your consequence is XXX. From now on, when you break my rules when it is time to go home, you will have XXX consequence when you get here in the morning. It's NOT OK to break the rules here at any time, whether your parents are here or not, and it is not going to happen any more. Remind the child of the consequence daily until it stops. I will give a consequence to a child at pickup time for something serious (hitting, etc.), but for things that are a child being manipulative, they can wait til morning (I don't want them staying longer to sit in time out or whatever, but will do it when I feel it is necessary).
I would deal with the child then the parent......then it would be outside at pick up time, or a one on one with parent.
I had a brother that would come once in a while and he liked our snack time when he was here. So he tried asking for snack when he wasn't here but would pick up his brother with his parents. It was uncomfortable but I had to say in front of the parent, No you are going to prob go home and have your supper. Kid kept at it, parent did nothing. I finally looked at the child and said......What did I say??? I said No. Now you need to get going and take your brother home. Then the parents stepped in like a light bulb went off. I think the parents were testing me out to see if I would actually say No. You run the show. You can run it nicely but you should run it with boundaries and rules for both the parents and child.
Many times my kids will ask for water and I always give them water anything else........no you will have to wait till you get home
Hope to hear how you make out with this~
Cat Herder 10:57 AM 08-21-2014
OP, have you ruled out that this is a "hungry kid"? Does this family have enough food at home? ( www.nokidhungry.org for help if so)
I did not think to ask.
I did not think to ask.
Mister Sir Husband 11:06 AM 08-21-2014
Originally Posted by Play Care:
You need to take control NOW. It would be over my dead body that kids went in to my cabinets to take food after being told no.
You are not being mean, or rude, or unreasonable telling the kids NO. I don't care WHO is there - their parent, their grandmother, the Pope, etc.
Take charge! Remember people only use door mats to wipe their feet...
Exactly as above ⬆. Contrary to their beliefs, the kids are not in charge, and will only act like they are if you let them.You need to take control NOW. It would be over my dead body that kids went in to my cabinets to take food after being told no.
You are not being mean, or rude, or unreasonable telling the kids NO. I don't care WHO is there - their parent, their grandmother, the Pope, etc.
Take charge! Remember people only use door mats to wipe their feet...
SSWonders 12:19 PM 08-21-2014
Oh HECK no!!!! Nobody touches or goes into my refrigerator or cabinets except ME or a member of my family. Nope.
MarinaVanessa 12:32 PM 08-21-2014
Originally Posted by ImFromTheStars:
Sometimes I feel like I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over... Especially when their parents are present because then they feel like "Are you gonna tell me NO with my mom standing here?". It's really frustrating because I have a few kids who, every day, when they leave, despite my warnings.... They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food or ask me if they can take snacks home after I have told them all several times, no you can not because we need those for snack time. I for understand how a parent can stand there and watch their child go in someone else's refrigerator or cabinet and take food especially when they observe me telling the child no?!!!! I'm at my end with this!
Look at DCM "Looks like Johnny is hungry. You'd better hurry home and get him a snack!"Sometimes I feel like I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over... Especially when their parents are present because then they feel like "Are you gonna tell me NO with my mom standing here?". It's really frustrating because I have a few kids who, every day, when they leave, despite my warnings.... They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food or ask me if they can take snacks home after I have told them all several times, no you can not because we need those for snack time. I for understand how a parent can stand there and watch their child go in someone else's refrigerator or cabinet and take food especially when they observe me telling the child no?!!!! I'm at my end with this!
Look at Johnny "Get out of my fridge Johnny. You know you aren't allowed in my fridge ever. Why you think that's it's ok just because your mom is here is beyond me. Hurry now, your mom is waiting. She's taking you home to feed you a snack."
Rockgirl 12:47 PM 08-21-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
Look at DCM "Looks like Johnny is hungry. You'd better hurry home and get him a snack!"
Look at Johnny "Get out of my fridge Johnny. You know you aren't allowed in my fridge ever. Why you think that's it's ok just because your mom is here is beyond me. Hurry now, your mom is waiting. She's taking you home to feed you a snack."
Yes, I've made similar comments. "You didn't do that until your mom got here."Look at DCM "Looks like Johnny is hungry. You'd better hurry home and get him a snack!"
Look at Johnny "Get out of my fridge Johnny. You know you aren't allowed in my fridge ever. Why you think that's it's ok just because your mom is here is beyond me. Hurry now, your mom is waiting. She's taking you home to feed you a snack."
renodeb 11:08 AM 08-22-2014
I have a gate that shuts the kids out of my kitchen which really helps as a good barrier. It is perfectly expectable o say to to them with parents standing there. After all the parent isnt going to say anything( apparently). Give them an afternoon snack and call it good. They can survive until dinner. I would post a notice that there will be know snack foods taken home from your house. Food costs enough w/o watching it leave your house by the droves.
I remember one of my older kids opened the fridge door looking for his cup and I put a stop to that ASAP! Good luck.
Debbie
I remember one of my older kids opened the fridge door looking for his cup and I put a stop to that ASAP! Good luck.
Debbie