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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What Do You Do AFTER Work?
DaycareMom 06:52 AM 12-05-2013
I prepare dinner after the last DCK leaves, DH comes home and we eat together as a family. Then, everyone helps clean up, play or watch a show with my kids, pjs, brush teeth, story, prayers, then bed.

After my kids are in bed, I usually change into PJs, and watch some TV then sleep.

I am finding it difficult to spend quality time with DH - we don't have anything in common and I am so exhausted by the end of the day.

What do you do after DC hours? What do you do with your SO?
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crazydaycarelady 06:59 AM 12-05-2013
We have dinner and then usually watch TV (I read,) play with our dogs, I was in a volleyball league so I would do that. We don't have little kids anymore. A lot of times I want to get out of the house so we end up going to dinner or running errands.
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itlw8 07:03 AM 12-05-2013
What did you do together before you got married??? some time just being together is good sit next to him to read you book when he watches sports. or go do what he wants. head to bed early but not to sleep. That is the quality time he wants LOL
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Blackcat31 07:05 AM 12-05-2013
I close here at 5:00, drive 7 miles home (stopping for anything we need on the way) and have dinner with my DH.

He does all the cooking so dinner is usually ready by the time I get off work. I do all the cleaning up then.

DH and I usually go for a walk around our property after dinner. We own 40 acres of heavily wooded land. We walk/hike in the nicer months and snowshoe in the winters.

After we go on our walk, I usually do some laundry, vacuum and then DH and I watch TV, use the computer, read or just chat. Sometimes we play cards or a board game.

DH is my best friend so we literally do everything together. We grocery shop together, clean the house together, exercise together, travel etc..

DH usually goes to bed though around 9-9:30 but I am a night owl so I stay up until atleast midnight reading or watching TV/movies.

In the morning, we both get up at 5:30 and go for another walk. Then DH makes breakfast and I head to work at 7:00 and he heads out to his woodshop to work.

He comes in to daycare at lunch time and helps me get the DCK's fed and laid down for rest time, then we eat our lunch together. He then heads home until I am off work and we start all over again.

....gee, when I lay it all out there...we are kind of boring or at the very least very routine.
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DaycareMom 07:09 AM 12-05-2013
Originally Posted by itlw8:
What did you do together before you got married??? some time just being together is good sit next to him to read you book when he watches sports. or go do what he wants. head to bed early but not to sleep. That is the quality time he wants LOL

Before we were married and had children, we had sex , or went out to dinner, movies, mini golf, etc. There were lots of things we did together, it was just out of the house. Now, being confined to stay home and working such long hours, it's difficult to find the energy to be intimate and we have children so we can't really leave them lol.

Spending time just next to him is awesome, but just getting a bit bored with it. Was hoping to get some ideas from others.
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Blackcat31 07:12 AM 12-05-2013
Originally Posted by DaycareMom:
Before we were married and had children, we had sex , or went out to dinner, movies, mini golf, etc. There were lots of things we did together, it was just out of the house. Now, being confined to stay home and working such long hours, it's difficult to find the energy to be intimate and we have children so we can't really leave them lol.

Spending time just next to him is awesome, but just getting a bit bored with it. Was hoping to get some ideas from others.
My DH and I have Wii competitions in bowling, baseball, tennis and golf.

We also LOVE board games. Some of those fun ones from when I was younger are really fun to revisit. Monopoly, Risk, Clue. Trivial Pursuit.

It's hard to connect with your hubby when your life is so much the kids...but just little things will help pave the way to being closer.

Find out the things you DO have in common and see if you can't build on those.
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jenboo 07:18 AM 12-05-2013
DH and I do not have any kiddos of our own yet.
He gets home at 2:30pm and my last dck leaves between 430 and 530. Until I am off, DH either plays video games, puts laundry away, starts making dinner...
Once I am off, we usually eat dinner, maybe finish up a couple things around the house that I didn't get to. On wednesday nights we go to the dog park. Some nights we run errands. We don't have money at the moment to do things out of the house unless they are free (in Vegas there isn't too much night life thats free). Occationally we will go to my sister's for dinner or to church for an event.
Last night we decorated the house for christmas.
We try to be in bed by 9pm each night.
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Brooksie 07:21 AM 12-05-2013
Kids leave at 5:30, I pack up DD and we head out to the grocery store or Target. If Target is the only thing on the agenda we tend to doddle and just walk up and down the aisles checking things out. I let her walk. After that its her dinner, bath and bed time with a few shows. Read a story and she's off to bed. After that its cleaning and cooking dinner for dbf and myself and then some quality time, generally catching up on shows with a glass of wine and couch time with the dogs.
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harperluu 08:16 AM 12-05-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
My DH and I have Wii competitions in bowling, baseball, tennis and golf.

We also LOVE board games. Some of those fun ones from when I was younger are really fun to revisit. Monopoly, Risk, Clue. Trivial Pursuit.

It's hard to connect with your hubby when your life is so much the kids...but just little things will help pave the way to being closer.

Find out the things you DO have in common and see if you can't build on those.
My husband and I are avid gamers as well. Once the kids are in bed, we enjoy cooperative games where we both can play at the same time. We've played Borderlands 2 together for months and months. It's just what we like to do to relax and kick back.

You are right on in finding something you enjoy doing together, and find time to do it. It doesn't even have to be conventional.
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MotherNature 09:07 AM 12-05-2013
Last kid leaves around 6. My husband or I will have been making dinner by then, so we eat, do our shopping, though usually grocery shop on Sat. Then after our son is asleep around 8, we usually sit on the couch. My husbnad plays video games & I'll navigate or I'll watch a show on my laptop or play around looking at crap online. Then we go up to bed at 10. He reads on his kindle or looks at stuff online on his vita or phone & I watch shows on my phone. He goes to sleep around 1030-me about 1130. Some nights we clean floors after dinner or do chores, just depends on the day.. This is just the usual day-to-day. Sometimes we go do other stuff or I'll head out to Goodwill or an antique store to get out for a bit..
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Annalee 09:26 AM 12-05-2013
Originally Posted by DaycareMom:
I prepare dinner after the last DCK leaves, DH comes home and we eat together as a family. Then, everyone helps clean up, play or watch a show with my kids, pjs, brush teeth, story, prayers, then bed.

After my kids are in bed, I usually change into PJs, and watch some TV then sleep.

I am finding it difficult to spend quality time with DH - we don't have anything in common and I am so exhausted by the end of the day.

What do you do after DC hours? What do you do with your SO?
I find myself doing so much for my own children/home and other responsibilities such as church, school functions, etc. that hubby gets left out sometimes....ok a lot of times....not all my fault because he is not into what my kids are into sometimes....However, I do try to remember he takes care of us well providing what we need and want by working hard like I do...I am very independent and develop professional relationships easily no matter what function I am involved in and he is totally opposite that....makes our lives difficult at times, but when I look back and read what I have written, it doesn't sound that bad.... we do enjoy each others company and vacations, holidays, etc....I think I provided therapy to myself while putting my feelings into words...
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TwinKristi 09:29 AM 12-05-2013
Dh & I have to make ourselves have time alone sometimes but it gets easier. As a provider it's hard to think of leaving your own kids with others but I suggest finding a good sitter and making a date night every 2 wks if you can swing it. We have a new casino here that we will go to and have dinner and play for a little but or go to dinner & a movie. We have 6 kids and are currently both self-employed so it's hard to shut off work sometimes but we have to!

But my evening is very much like your's!
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Maggie 09:41 AM 12-05-2013
As soon as my last family walks out the door I open the fridge a grab a coors light ( sometimes before they leave if they try to linger too long that usually gives them the hint to go) I go out on my deck no matter what the weather and drink it. I need at least 5 minutes of no talking to me its my unwind time. Sometimes my husband will come out and ask if my 5 minutes are up so he can chat. After that we start dinner a quick workout hubby will watch Tv while I read or browse pinterest. I'm usually in bed by 8.
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Maria2013 09:45 AM 12-05-2013
after the last child leaves I let my dogs free, do the fp claim, make sure my youngest did his homework, make dinner, clean after dinner...then I can finally relax and spend time with hubby, we have a lot in common so finding things to do is never a problem......aww now I miss him
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melilley 10:01 AM 12-05-2013
The dcks usually leave by 5:30-5:40 at the latest. I then do clean the playroom (most nights), do my MMK stuff and sit on the computer for about 5 minutes to unwind. Then I make dinner (sometimes have a beer while I'm making it) and sometimes my sis and her kids come over for dinner. My dd and ds go to bed around 8:30-we put on pj's, brush teeth and read a book, and then my dh and I catch up on shows that we record. We are usually in bed by 9-sometimes we watch tv, sometimes other things or just go to sleep . My dh has to be to work some days at 4am and some at 6am so we are early birds to bed.

On Tues. my dh bowls so I do everything with the kids and every other Thurs. my sis in law comes over and my dh an I have a date night, which is nice.
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Shell 10:12 AM 12-05-2013
Originally Posted by DaycareMom:
I prepare dinner after the last DCK leaves, DH comes home and we eat together as a family. Then, everyone helps clean up, play or watch a show with my kids, pjs, brush teeth, story, prayers, then bed.

After my kids are in bed, I usually change into PJs, and watch some TV then sleep.

I am finding it difficult to spend quality time with DH - we don't have anything in common and I am so exhausted by the end of the day.

What do you do after DC hours? What do you do with your SO?
I hear you! I am so exhausted by the end of the day, that by the time kids are in bed, dh and I watch shows we dvr 'd from the weekend. Dh works 6 days a week, so we hardly get any time together when we aren't beyond exhausted. We share common interest in a few shows, but little beyond that. I try to get out with ds once a week to Target and other shopping, and it lifts my spirits. I also try and grab dinner with friends from my old job here and there. I'm jealous of all the exercise you get walking, Blackcat -i've got to start exercising again.
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daycarediva 10:22 AM 12-05-2013
bc- you and your dh sound similar to me and my dh!

I close around 5:30, dh is usually home by then and has started dinner. The second the last kid leaves he turns on some music and we cook, set the table, dance and talk. We eat together as a family. Older dd does dishes, younger boys clear table. Dh helps me do end of the day cleaning, finish up laundry. We then usually play a board game or read to our little boys, check homework, give them baths and tuck them in bed.

Almost every single night dh and I take a bubble bath together. I LOVE that time! When we first started out together we had a crappy single stall shower only in our apartment and I always said I wanted a giant whirlpool tub we could both sit in comfortably, and dh bought me one 4 years ago and that has been our routine almost every night since!

After that we go to our bedroom (it's a master, so we have a small living room in it as well) and snuggle on the couch, we both love reading and often read the same books. Play xbox together, we love scrabble, risk and chess, too.

My dh is my very best friend, we get up together in the morning and work out, eat breakfast together, pack his lunch and our kids lunches, and then dh helps me get our kids up before he leaves (if doing service) if he is at a commercial job, he has to wake our kids and then leave. He often is home for lunch and will cook or help me cook, or read to the kids (who all adore him).

It does sound boring, but we aren't go out on the town people, both of us are homebodies, so it works out. The last time we went out to dinner was for our anniversary in July. The food was amazing, but the restaurant was so loud we couldn't even talk well. We ended up having it packed up to go, tipped, left and went home to eat.
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hope 10:23 AM 12-05-2013
Last kid leaves a little after 4. Dh is home by 4:30. I make dinner and Dh keeps me company. We chat about our day as I cook. We have dinner with the kids and then play with them and help with homework for dd. Then kids have some play time with each other as mommy n daddy read, go online or what tv. Many nights we will do a special project like organize the garage or fix something around the house and we get the kids involved. Dh and I try to do a lot together so grocery shopping and errands are done as a family. We have parents who like to take the kids for weekends once in a blue moon so weekends like that we go away or spend the weekend as honeymooners.
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Blackcat31 01:41 PM 12-05-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
bc- you and your dh sound similar to me and my dh!

I close around 5:30, dh is usually home by then and has started dinner. The second the last kid leaves he turns on some music and we cook, set the table, dance and talk. We eat together as a family. Older dd does dishes, younger boys clear table. Dh helps me do end of the day cleaning, finish up laundry. We then usually play a board game or read to our little boys, check homework, give them baths and tuck them in bed.

Almost every single night dh and I take a bubble bath together. I LOVE that time! When we first started out together we had a crappy single stall shower only in our apartment and I always said I wanted a giant whirlpool tub we could both sit in comfortably, and dh bought me one 4 years ago and that has been our routine almost every night since!

After that we go to our bedroom (it's a master, so we have a small living room in it as well) and snuggle on the couch, we both love reading and often read the same books. Play xbox together, we love scrabble, risk and chess, too.

My dh is my very best friend, we get up together in the morning and work out, eat breakfast together, pack his lunch and our kids lunches, and then dh helps me get our kids up before he leaves (if doing service) if he is at a commercial job, he has to wake our kids and then leave. He often is home for lunch and will cook or help me cook, or read to the kids (who all adore him).

It does sound boring, but we aren't go out on the town people, both of us are homebodies, so it works out. The last time we went out to dinner was for our anniversary in July. The food was amazing, but the restaurant was so loud we couldn't even talk well. We ended up having it packed up to go, tipped, left and went home to eat.
wow, I'd say... Too bad you live in another state...you guys would be a great couple to hang with. In the summer we have bonfires in the back yard and my kids always say "Oh, who came over?" and I always laugh...no one came over...we just have bonfires by ourselves.

Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Almost every single night dh and I take a bubble bath together. I LOVE that time! When we first started out together we had a crappy single stall shower only in our apartment and I always said I wanted a giant whirlpool tub we could both sit in comfortably, and dh bought me one 4 years ago and that has been our routine almost every night since!:
This part cracked me up because it again shows our commonalities as couples... Dh and I built a new house 6 yrs ago. We built the shower in the master bath HUGE! Our tile guy asked why it was so big and DH said "For two people" Because DH and I shower together every morning.
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DaycareMom 04:41 PM 12-05-2013
Originally Posted by Maria2013:
after the last child leaves I let my dogs free, do the fp claim, make sure my youngest did his homework, make dinner, clean after dinner...then I can finally relax and spend time with hubby, we have a lot in common so finding things to do is never a problem......aww now I miss him
That is awesome! What are some of the things that you have in common?
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CedarCreek 04:58 PM 12-05-2013
Dh and I need to get better about spending quality time together.

Usually what happens is Dh makes dinner, I make sure homework is done, we eat and bathe the boys. Then we all watch a couple of shows before Dh takes the boys up stairs for a bed time story. I get in a shower at that time and when I get out I go kiss the boys goodnight. Then Dh and I will lie in bed and play on the IPad or watch a show then go to sleep.

Pretty boring, lol.

I am sooo jealous of the big showers/bath tubs! What a good way to spend some time with your Dh!
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littlemissmuffet 05:57 PM 12-05-2013
My after work life with hubby is pretty similar to Blackcat's and daycarediva's - right down to the shared showers/baths. Hubs is my best friend and we do EVERYTHING together.
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jenboo 06:14 PM 12-05-2013
My DH and I take showers together almost every night and have been doing this since we got married almost 3 years ago. We have the double shower head thingy..When we were looking to a buy a house I really wanted to find one with a big shower and/or tub..unfortunately, we ended up buying one with a little one person stand alone shower...We still squeeze in there together though and my DH isn't a small guy! Our other bathroom has a regular tub but DH can't fit in the tub sitting down ( half his body is sticking out the water) and there is no way I could even squeeze myself in there with him haha
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CedarCreek 06:38 PM 12-05-2013
I'm starting to feel bad here. We have a double headed shower and Dh still doesn't like to shower with me!
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dingledine 09:50 AM 12-06-2013
End of the day, I clean up, help my child with homework, make dinner, if my husband is home from work, he eats with us, sometimes he has to work late. Then I clean up, wash my two kids, every other day, get them in bed. Then around 8 or 9, I hole up in my room, usually with a Netflix, or my laptop. My husband and I don't do much together. We don't talk. He usually gets on his laptop, does more work. He used to be a game addict, so I am used to this. He was also verbally abusive for a while, but since I filed for divorce (and changed my mind), he has backed off on that, and isn't, in general. He still seems a bit passive aggressive however. He makes promises, and takes forever to follow through, if he does at all.

We don't do much together. I have no desire. We used to do a few things, but he doesn't like to go out much. We would go see a movie, or play a game. He is a bad sport though, so I've learned not to play with him anymore. Whenever we try to go anywhere, he is chronically late, and then annoyed at me, for being annoyed that he is late. We don't talk much, as I try to avoid it, also we are both busy doing other things. I'm not sure how long we can keep on like this, and part of me keeps hoping that things will get better, and part of me doesn't want it to. We have a similar parenting style, and similar beliefs at least, so that helps. We both like mostly healthy foods. I miss snuggling. He had so many sexual issues, anxiety wise, that I've been rather put off of that as well. I'd like to be with a best friend, to hang out with, laugh with... but I've given up on that. I'm not ready to divorce either, and share the kids only literally, half of the time, as that is what he wants. My kids are 4, and 8. I also have on in college, from my first marriage, that only lasted a few months, when I was 20... we are paying for his college, or most of it, so he can get off to an easier start, and yes, we can afford that. I'm not ready either to give up the ease financially, for the strain of being a single mom in this economy, even though I am frequently sad. I wonder how this will affect the kids. Anyway, I do go on. I just work and veg out most evenings. I'm going to start karaoke a couple of times a month, to try to find some joy.
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daycarediva 09:56 AM 12-06-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
wow, I'd say... Too bad you live in another state...you guys would be a great couple to hang with. In the summer we have bonfires in the back yard and my kids always say "Oh, who came over?" and I always laugh...no one came over...we just have bonfires by ourselves.



This part cracked me up because it again shows our commonalities as couples... Dh and I built a new house 6 yrs ago. We built the shower in the master bath HUGE! Our tile guy asked why it was so big and DH said "For two people" Because DH and I shower together every morning.
My Mom/dd say the same thing! When I am getting the hot tub prepped for a night and putting the fire pit together "Ohhh looks nice, who's coming over?" NOBODY! LOL!!!

I'm glad I'm not the only younger person perfectly content with an 'old lady' lifestyle. I wouldn't change a thing!
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melilley 10:21 AM 12-06-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
I'm starting to feel bad here. We have a double headed shower and Dh still doesn't like to shower with me!
Lol, I hate showering with my dh!
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Maria2013 10:41 AM 12-06-2013
Originally Posted by DaycareMom:
That is awesome! What are some of the things that you have in common?
we have the same beliefs, we appreciate the simple things in life we're both workaholics LOL
... we also hate shopping and crowds, we both love anything to do with nature....in the good weather we work in the yard or go hiking in the woods or find a place on the water to feed the ducks
..right now the days are so short, by the time I'm done settling things after dinner, we only have time for a Christmas movie or a board game before bed

my husband is the most gentle and kind person, I've never met anyone that didn't think so
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melilley 10:54 AM 12-06-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
wow, I'd say... Too bad you live in another state...you guys would be a great couple to hang with. In the summer we have bonfires in the back yard and my kids always say "Oh, who came over?" and I always laugh...no one came over...we just have bonfires by ourselves.


We do the same in the summer! I love it!
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Unregistered 11:38 AM 12-06-2013
Head for the alcohol( not the rubbing kind either)!
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Michelle 01:58 PM 12-06-2013
After the last child leaves, my dh makes dinner,cleans the whole kitchen,my kids ask me if there is anything I need at the store and then go buy it for me. When they get back they do all the laundry and put it away.
After dinner my dh lights the fireplace and rubs my feet and asks me what I want to watch on TV.
Then when I wake up from the dream, I go make dinner, clean the kitchen, throw some laundry in and hope that by the time my dd is done with homework I am still awake to spend time with her.
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dingledine 04:02 PM 12-06-2013
Originally Posted by Michelle:
After the last child leaves, my dh makes dinner,cleans the whole kitchen,my kids ask me if there is anything I need at the store and then go buy it for me. When they get back they do all the laundry and put it away.
After dinner my dh lights the fireplace and rubs my feet and asks me what I want to watch on TV.
Then when I wake up from the dream, I go make dinner, clean the kitchen, throw some laundry in and hope that by the time my dd is done with homework I am still awake to spend time with her.

LOL. I LOVE this, thanks for the laugh.
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jenboo 05:59 PM 12-06-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:

I'm glad I'm not the only younger person perfectly content with an 'old lady' lifestyle. I wouldn't change a thing!
Im 23 and i feel like I have an 'old lady' lifestyle! Sometimes we go out and drink with friends, go to bars, etc...but i would rather just stay home and relax, play a board game or watch tv
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Meeko 06:04 PM 12-06-2013
Hubby and I still shower together after 33 years of marriage.

But for some reason the showers have shrunk considerably over the years and it seems a bit more snug than it used to.................
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Maria2013 05:48 AM 12-07-2013
Originally Posted by Meeko:
Hubby and I still shower together after 33 years of marriage.

But for some reason the showers have shrunk considerably over the years and it seems a bit more snug than it used to.................

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