I had some changes to my daycare routine this week. Normally when children arrive I have the TV running well I decided to take the TV watching out in the morning and do a couple of quiet free choices (books, building blocks). Well, one of my dck doesn't like the change. The child comes in and gets on my couch and lays down.....so everyday this week I've given the child about 20 - 30mins to relax and then it's time to play...well that's when the SCREAMING starts. High pitched at 7:30 am because I asked the dck to go play. The dck will not get off the couch, and when very gently removed from couch the child SCREAMS...the dck put themself in on the cry mat. Well once stopped crying I asked the dck to go play, the SCREAMING started again... so I walked the dck to the play area surrounded with toys and is now SCREAMING.. Holy Cow! This is the second day of this. I'm not sure what to do. If I let the child lay on my couch then the child will not get up to play. Any suggestions??

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I would lay him lay in the cry corner from the very beginning of the day. Play or go lay down in the cry corner, for as long as it takes. It wouldnt bother me if he choose to lay there all morning.

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Is there some reason he can not stay on the chouch? Maybe he is not all the way awake yet. I do not know what time he gets there or what time he gets up. One of my step children will not do anything unless told for the first 2 hours he is awake.

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I would just him stay on the couch until he is ready. Make it a non-issue. Day 1 he may stay there for 2 hours, but each day he will be tempted more...IF you don't even mention it. Just go have fun...he'll come!

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I wouldn't let the kids on the sofa at all anymore. I have one that would sit alllll day in the hopes the tv came on rather than play. We don't watch tv other than a naptime movie for the SA kids.

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I agree that I would let him choose to stay not playing but I would not allow him to be on the couch. Let him use the crying spot if he wants it or sit where ever you say but don't make him go play. After a couple days of sitting while everyone else palys happily, I bet he will choose to join in.

Sounds like he is having withdrawls from the TV. But either way, I agree that it should NOT a non-issue or else you are setting you and him up for a needless and pointless powere struggle.

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let him have the power of decision..

johnny would you like to sit on the crying mat or play toys? Let the child decide what he wants to do. AND then let him to what he chose.

Let him stay in the crying spot for as long as he wants. When your group transitioins to the next thing again same question. Johnny what would you like to do. Would you like to join us for ____________________or sit on the crying mat?

Children like this want to feel they have all the power. Giving the the ability to decide for themselves, really makes them feel empowered.

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I agree. I mentioned putting him in the cry corner so that he is not getting the "special" of having the couch to himself all morning. I dont even let the daycare kids on the couch at all.

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The child would stay there ALL day. Thinking the TV would come on. The child was fully awake as the child was telling me to get the remote. Yeah didn't happen. I think no more couch period as that was the only time the child was allowed on the couch anyway. This child wants to be on the time out mat and seems like enjoys it. The child didn't want to listen..and I go though this A LOT as when asked "to please go do or pick up .... " the child refuses ALL day! Makes my day a lot of fun

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I like this. I'll try this tomorrow morning.

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Yup, that's what this child is like and would sit there expecting it to come on. I decided after reading a past thread on here that I needed to get rid of all the TV watching (which was very little -- less than an 40 mins all day). I don't mind doing a special movie in the winter but I want it to be a treat not something that is expected everyday. I know this child gets lots of TV time at home... so there is no need here.

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Would you let the child have their blanket/special item that they nap with?

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I guess that depends...first of all, how old is he? If you leave him on the couch, will he be bouncing off the walls at nap time?

I would probably say no. He gets there really early, right? I think at breakfast time or at some other transition time (whatever is convenient for you, but consistent...like when your dh and kids are up). I would ask for the blanket and say "It's breakfast time...I'd like you to put your blanket in your cubby until nap". If he fights you on giving it up, I would insist and take it away. I'd always give him the opportunity to do it himself, though. (do you want to put it in your cubby, or shall I...once chance). If he's over 3, I'd actually tell him that if he keeps making a fuss, the blanket goes home and stays at home. Then, if he goes back to the couch without the blanket, walk away and give it NO attention.

Oh, and it might be a good time to make sure he's missing something fun, or delicious..... I wouldn't rub it in or even mention it, though. Just plan a few special things for that time of day for a few days until the pattern breaks.

He will eventually get that the TV is NOT going to be turned on! If he pesters, say "I'd already answered that question" once, and then ignore it. If he does come play, try to make him feel welcome. Ignore the as much of the bad stuff as you can, and when you see him doing something good, notice it. Not lavish praise...just "hey, dcb, I see you are being gentle with that toy...thank you". Or, "wow, dcb, that's a tall tower you made". I also try to keep my tone matter-of-fact. If he doesn't help clean up, I'd leave him one chore, smile sweetly, and say "we are going to go sit down...as soon as you've picked up those legos, you can join us". When he does it...give him a high five. The little dcg I had never ONCE missed lunch...sometimes she was late getting there (and therefore missed out on seconds), but eventually she always caved and did her job.

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thats how I roll too. You can cry all you want, it don't bother me.

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The child is 3 and gets here between 7 - 7:30. When the child finally played today we made a huge tower out of cube plastic blocks and then played with wooden blocks... the child had a blast and I made nice comments to the child about how they were playing . I think the child has a problem being asked to do anything and acts like this over everything. The child will scream and cry like I'm going to give in and let them get away without cleaning or having to listen (which has never happened).

I do allow the special nap item in the morning while the child was resting but once everyone is up and everyone is playing the item goes in cubby until nap time. I'm not sure if the child would have a problem napping if they laid on my couch all day. I've never allowed it. This problem started yesterday when asked to get up and play and that's also when I stopped the TV watching.

I like the idea of giving the child a choice of either letting them go to the cry mat or play. It doesn't bother me that the child crys and if thats where the child wants to be then I guess I'll allow it. But what happens when we go outside??? I like to be outside right after breakfast to it's not to hot yet. I can't leave the child inside unattended. I also love the idea of doing something special while the child wants to sit there. I won't make a big fuss but doing something special for breakfast or a special craft.

Thank You!

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If you go outside, then give him a crying spot there.

Our crying spot is the bottom step. Since I have one in the house and outside, it works well.

As far as the couch or the crying spot, it doesn't really matter. I suggested leaving him on the couch in the hopes that your family would get some peace in the wee hours, but in the long run, it's whatever works for you!

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Go anyways. Tell the child that you are all going outside and because you can't leave him alone inside he will have to come outside too but he doesn't have to play if he doesn't want to.

He can sit just the same as he does inside. Just like inside, make it a non-issue.

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Thank You !!

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Thank You!!

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Agree 100% make it a non issue..

I have a lot of strong willed children in my care. I love giving the options to them. All you have to do each time that they are struggling with anything, is give them TWO realistic options. Important thing to do is NOT change the tone of your voice.

Johnny, I understand that you feel like watching tv right now, but that is not an option. Would you like to play blocks or read a book.

Johhny: I don't want to read a book or play blocks.

Provider: Ok so what would you like to do?

Johnny: I just want to scream I am so mad or child does this with out words

Provider: Johnny, I see that you are crying, so lets go sit on the crying mat. Place child and tell him, I am so sorry that you could not make a good decision yourself, so you can sit here until you are ready to make a good decision. I really want for you to have fun with us Johnny, so I hope you make a good decision soon and walk away.

I have to do this daily at least 5 times a day when new kids start that are a challenge. I don't have to do this much anymore becuase all of my kids have been with me for awhile and know I don't have false threats..

My Motto....kids who don't listen, don't get to have any fun. I will do anything and everything in my power to help you have fun and all you have to do is listen.

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You have way more patience than I do! Here's how it would go here:

Heidi: Johnny, I understand that you feel like watching tv right now, but that is not an option. You need to go find something else to do. Lets go see what's in the playroom.

Johhny: I don't want to.

Heidi: Well, then you can go sit on the step until you decide you'd like to play. (lead to step gently)

Johhny: I don't want to.

Heidi: well, those are your choices...sit or play (walk away)

When the child comes into playroom...(and they always do.....bwahaha)

Heidi: "Oh, I am so glad you decided to join us".


I do admire your patience, Daycare!

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