Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Sickness Drama...
finsup 05:20 PM 03-14-2016
So as I'm sure some of you have seen my posts venting about a dcf that keeps sending their child sick. It's not improving. Today, however, I had to use every ounce of self restraint not to loose it on them. Here's what happened:
Dcm sends me a text about a minute before dcd is due to drop off (they are married, I'm on dcd's way to work) saying dcb has allergies. Saying a "cough, runny nose and allergy eyes." dcd drops off, doesn't even look me in the eyes and hardly says anything but gives dcb extra snuggles. Not normal for him. Dcb announces when dcd has left he's had "medicine because he doesn't feel good." And the cough...we're not talking about a dry annyoing cough. We're talking wet, gross, producing mucuos cough and nose just dripping. Every kid I know has been battling an upper respitory thing and it's been awful. Dcb's grandpa just got out of the hospital for it who he spent all weekend with. Anyways, dcm says "oh he had that yesterday, but was fine in a few hours. Keep me posted." NO. NO. NO. The last time I kept him against better judgement he gave us all pink eye (those "allergies" again, as was the excuse then too). I tell dcm in a very firm, but professional way, get your kid NOW. So his Grammy picks up and I go about my day. Then I get a text saying they have decided to send him to his back up daycare all week so the kids will stop "sharing germs back and forth." (So it's germs now not allergies ) but I know her back up and I know that she hates to use her after the last time (that's a whole different story, you guys know the type, cheap care, doesn't claim on taxes, over ratios, no rules etc). So I can say with pretty strong confidence she's doing this to "punish" me because they don't pay when they aren't here. I know, stupid, but I have had them from the start. In the past 3 years they have never taken advantage of pay by the day and for that reason I have allowed it to continue. But now they are using against me, and basically as blackmail. It's like saying "send my kid home sick and I won't send him for the week and you won't get our income." This is the 3rd...maybe 4th time I've had to send him home sick. They have not kept him home willingly at all this winter (just this winter, last winter they were awesome about following sick policy, as with the one before it)

I'm not sure where to go from here. Terming would be tough, we would loose some spending money but I could do it. Going forward? I don't even know where to begin...
Reply
Thriftylady 05:31 PM 03-14-2016
Since terming would hurt (and I totally get that) I would start looking for a replacement.
Reply
daycare 06:00 PM 03-14-2016
If this were me, I would do this....

Dear DCM,

while I understand that you believe your child may be suffering from seasonal allergies, I must rely on the fact that all of the children here have had the same symptoms and have been diagnosed by a doctor with upper respiratory virus.

While I could be wrong, we will always base our decisions to error on the side of caution and exclude all children with the symptoms that your child is displaying.

Please note, that any child that is out of care due to illness for more than 3 days will need to have a doctors note of diagnosis before they can return.

Thank you for following all of our childcare policies to continue to support our best efforts in keeping every child here healthy.

your DCP


by having the child go see the doctor, this creates an issue for her to have to see the doctor and you will both see that it's NOT allergies. She might rethink having the child go to another program where they more than likley will pick up other germs from that enviornment. PLUS the doctors note will give the truth about what the child has. Will make DCM mad I am sure.

My point is not to make DCM mad, but to understand that they can't expect you to just believe what you tell them and think that they can give you permission to do the wrong thing.
Reply
hope 06:03 PM 03-14-2016
What does your contract with them say about mandatory days? I understand they don't have to pay if not there but did you have a guarantee of a certain amount of days per week? Do they. Ot pay when they take vacation? If not, I would let dcm know that you rely on a steady income and she needs to guarantee a certain amount of days per week to avoid this issue. Go over your sick policy again and let her know that you expect her child there unless sick. I wouldn't term without really talking this over with her first. She may. Ot be looking at it the same way as you are.
Reply
finsup 07:06 PM 03-14-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Since terming would hurt (and I totally get that) I would start looking for a replacement.
I'm definitely considering it. I advertised in my church's women's group and got a ton of responses from there and a few interviews lined up. The idea was to keep this dcb and only take on one more but with an increase in interest, it definitely gives me a little more flexibility.
Reply
finsup 07:15 PM 03-14-2016
Originally Posted by daycare:
If this were me, I would do this....

Dear DCM,

while I understand that you believe your child may be suffering from seasonal allergies, I must rely on the fact that all of the children here have had the same symptoms and have been diagnosed by a doctor with upper respiratory virus.

While I could be wrong, we will always base our decisions to error on the side of caution and exclude all children with the symptoms that your child is displaying.

Please note, that any child that is out of care due to illness for more than 3 days will need to have a doctors note of diagnosis before they can return.

Thank you for following all of our childcare policies to continue to support our best efforts in keeping every child here healthy.

your DCP


by having the child go see the doctor, this creates an issue for her to have to see the doctor and you will both see that it's NOT allergies. She might rethink having the child go to another program where they more than likley will pick up other germs from that enviornment. PLUS the doctors note will give the truth about what the child has. Will make DCM mad I am sure.

My point is not to make DCM mad, but to understand that they can't expect you to just believe what you tell them and think that they can give you permission to do the wrong thing.
That is a good idea! She knows very well this isn't allergies, as do I. Maybe having her have to back up her claim will make her think twice before claiming it again.
Reply
finsup 07:21 PM 03-14-2016
Originally Posted by hope:
What does your contract with them say about mandatory days? I understand they don't have to pay if not there but did you have a guarantee of a certain amount of days per week? Do they. Ot pay when they take vacation? If not, I would let dcm know that you rely on a steady income and she needs to guarantee a certain amount of days per week to avoid this issue. Go over your sick policy again and let her know that you expect her child there unless sick. I wouldn't term without really talking this over with her first. She may. Ot be looking at it the same way as you are.
My contract now is very different from my contract when they first started. So currently there's nothing in there about set days. They typically come 4 days a week. Sometimes 3, sometimes 5 but 95% of the time 4. They pay 30$/per day. I did this before I knew better one idea is, it may be time to sit down, go over everything and just switch them to the contract everyone else is under. I can't risk loosing a week of income if I need to send their child home.
Reply
MunchkinWrangler 07:42 PM 03-14-2016
I think it would be in your best interest to switch them to the contract. It would definitely make me upset for them pulling because without wording it, they are choosing not to pay you and 'punish' you. I hate to look at situations like this but bottom line is you need to protect your business i.e. income. If a family is no good to me financially, I'll find someone who will be. As much as we love the kids, there is that all important bottom line, money.
Reply
childcaremom 11:28 PM 03-14-2016
Originally Posted by finsup:
So as I'm sure some of you have seen my posts venting about a dcf that keeps sending their child sick. It's not improving. Today, however, I had to use every ounce of self restraint not to loose it on them. Here's what happened:
Dcm sends me a text about a minute before dcd is due to drop off (they are married, I'm on dcd's way to work) saying dcb has allergies. Saying a "cough, runny nose and allergy eyes." dcd drops off, doesn't even look me in the eyes and hardly says anything but gives dcb extra snuggles. Not normal for him. Dcb announces when dcd has left he's had "medicine because he doesn't feel good." And the cough...we're not talking about a dry annyoing cough. We're talking wet, gross, producing mucuos cough and nose just dripping. Every kid I know has been battling an upper respitory thing and it's been awful. Dcb's grandpa just got out of the hospital for it who he spent all weekend with. Anyways, dcm says "oh he had that yesterday, but was fine in a few hours. Keep me posted." NO. NO. NO. The last time I kept him against better judgement he gave us all pink eye (those "allergies" again, as was the excuse then too). I tell dcm in a very firm, but professional way, get your kid NOW. So his Grammy picks up and I go about my day. Then I get a text saying they have decided to send him to his back up daycare all week so the kids will stop "sharing germs back and forth." (So it's germs now not allergies ) but I know her back up and I know that she hates to use her after the last time (that's a whole different story, you guys know the type, cheap care, doesn't claim on taxes, over ratios, no rules etc). So I can say with pretty strong confidence she's doing this to "punish" me because they don't pay when they aren't here. I know, stupid, but I have had them from the start. In the past 3 years they have never taken advantage of pay by the day and for that reason I have allowed it to continue. But now they are using against me, and basically as blackmail. It's like saying "send my kid home sick and I won't send him for the week and you won't get our income." This is the 3rd...maybe 4th time I've had to send him home sick. They have not kept him home willingly at all this winter (just this winter, last winter they were awesome about following sick policy, as with the one before it)

I'm not sure where to go from here. Terming would be tough, we would loose some spending money but I could do it. Going forward? I don't even know where to begin...
These don't sound like fantastic clients. They have repeatedly sent their child sick and lied about it. They only pay when they come so will use that to punish you for enforcing your policies (which is what this seems like).

I would term immediately. You are out the pay, anyways, because they are not bringing their child.

I would advertise and fill the opening with a client who will appreciate what you offer and respect your policies.
Reply
Leigh 06:28 AM 03-15-2016
Originally Posted by finsup:
So as I'm sure some of you have seen my posts venting about a dcf that keeps sending their child sick. It's not improving. Today, however, I had to use every ounce of self restraint not to loose it on them. Here's what happened:
Dcm sends me a text about a minute before dcd is due to drop off (they are married, I'm on dcd's way to work) saying dcb has allergies. Saying a "cough, runny nose and allergy eyes." dcd drops off, doesn't even look me in the eyes and hardly says anything but gives dcb extra snuggles. Not normal for him. Dcb announces when dcd has left he's had "medicine because he doesn't feel good." And the cough...we're not talking about a dry annyoing cough. We're talking wet, gross, producing mucuos cough and nose just dripping. Every kid I know has been battling an upper respitory thing and it's been awful. Dcb's grandpa just got out of the hospital for it who he spent all weekend with. Anyways, dcm says "oh he had that yesterday, but was fine in a few hours. Keep me posted." NO. NO. NO. The last time I kept him against better judgement he gave us all pink eye (those "allergies" again, as was the excuse then too). I tell dcm in a very firm, but professional way, get your kid NOW. So his Grammy picks up and I go about my day. Then I get a text saying they have decided to send him to his back up daycare all week so the kids will stop "sharing germs back and forth." (So it's germs now not allergies ) but I know her back up and I know that she hates to use her after the last time (that's a whole different story, you guys know the type, cheap care, doesn't claim on taxes, over ratios, no rules etc). So I can say with pretty strong confidence she's doing this to "punish" me because they don't pay when they aren't here. I know, stupid, but I have had them from the start. In the past 3 years they have never taken advantage of pay by the day and for that reason I have allowed it to continue. But now they are using against me, and basically as blackmail. It's like saying "send my kid home sick and I won't send him for the week and you won't get our income." This is the 3rd...maybe 4th time I've had to send him home sick. They have not kept him home willingly at all this winter (just this winter, last winter they were awesome about following sick policy, as with the one before it)

I'm not sure where to go from here. Terming would be tough, we would loose some spending money but I could do it. Going forward? I don't even know where to begin...
First, drop the pay by day. You're not a teenaged babysitter-I wouldn't let them just drop in and out as they feel you deserve. Give them a new contract with a stronger illness policy, and tell them that they're now paying 52 weeks/year.

Second, HOW KIND of them to go spread the illness around to ANOTHER childcare! That REALLY gets me!

I'd start advertising for a replacement and replace them as soon as I could.
Reply
Snowmom 06:39 AM 03-15-2016
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
These don't sound like fantastic clients. They have repeatedly sent their child sick and lied about it. They only pay when they come so will use that to punish you for enforcing your policies (which is what this seems like).

I would term immediately. You are out the pay, anyways, because they are not bringing their child.

I would advertise and fill the opening with a client who will appreciate what you offer and respect your policies.


I'd be putting my foot down and having them either sign a new contract or be signing their two week notice.
Reply
finsup 08:32 AM 03-15-2016
Yes, a new contract is going to be a must. I have zero interest going forward with them otherwise, especially after having some time to think it over. They may term with the new rules, and if that happens, so be it. Can anyone help with professional wording for that?

I'm going to keep my options open while interviewing and if I find a good fit that replaces them, I can't see myself really struggling with that descion
Reply
finsup 08:34 AM 03-15-2016
Originally Posted by Leigh:
First, drop the pay by day. You're not a teenaged babysitter-I wouldn't let them just drop in and out as they feel you deserve. Give them a new contract with a stronger illness policy, and tell them that they're now paying 52 weeks/year.

Second, HOW KIND of them to go spread the illness around to ANOTHER childcare! That REALLY gets me!

I'd start advertising for a replacement and replace them as soon as I could.
Ugh! I know! I was like seriously?! Your kid is sick, keep him home and not infecting anyone else. I HOPE the other provider sends him home too but I'm doubtful. She has trouble getting clients and won't want to make dcm mad.
Reply
Snowmom 12:44 PM 03-15-2016
Originally Posted by finsup:
Yes, a new contract is going to be a must. I have zero interest going forward with them otherwise, especially after having some time to think it over. They may term with the new rules, and if that happens, so be it. Can anyone help with professional wording for that?

I'm going to keep my options open while interviewing and if I find a good fit that replaces them, I can't see myself really struggling with that descion
Dear Parent:
After much consideration and in effort to be fair, consistent and practical, I have decided that going forward and effective immediately, all enrolled families will be signing with the same contract terms.
Attached to this letter you will find your new contract. Please note that your weekly payment of $X is due on (Due Date) for care received (weekly/bi-weekly, etc) and no credit will be given for any unused portion of the week. My fees will remain the same whether your child attends or not.
Also, your initials will be required in the "sick policy" section of your contract. Please make sure to thoroughly review this section as failure to comply with the terms of your contract can lead to termination without notice or refunds.

Thanks you,
Provider
Reply
finsup 07:13 AM 03-16-2016
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
Dear Parent:
After much consideration and in effort to be fair, consistent and practical, I have decided that going forward and effective immediately, all enrolled families will be signing with the same contract terms.
Attached to this letter you will find your new contract. Please note that your weekly payment of $X is due on (Due Date) for care received (weekly/bi-weekly, etc) and no credit will be given for any unused portion of the week. My fees will remain the same whether your child attends or not.
Also, your initials will be required in the "sick policy" section of your contract. Please make sure to thoroughly review this section as failure to comply with the terms of your contract can lead to termination without notice or refunds.

Thanks you,
Provider
Thank you! I sent over something very similar to that this morning. We'll see what happens! I just have to remind myself to not let emotion get in the way. This is business, this is how it's going to be, take it or leave it. Ugh! So my least favorite part of the job though.
Reply
Ariana 08:04 AM 03-16-2016
Originally Posted by Leigh:
First, drop the pay by day. You're not a teenaged babysitter-I wouldn't let them just drop in and out as they feel you deserve. Give them a new contract with a stronger illness policy, and tell them that they're now paying 52 weeks/year.

Second, HOW KIND of them to go spread the illness around to ANOTHER childcare! That REALLY gets me!

I'd start advertising for a replacement and replace them as soon as I could.
All of this! They shouldn't be "using" you!
Reply
finsup 12:46 PM 03-16-2016
Yeah, they're not happy about rules being enforced. I may very well loose them over this but I refuse to be disrespected. They said they because I am legally unliscesned (I follow all the rules ratios wise, pay taxes etc but remain unliscesned because my space isn't big enough to make liscensing worth it) they shouldn't have to abide by rules.
I actually used the line "I am not a teenaged baby sitter" so thanks Leigh for that! *sigh* from people who have been here for 3 years, I can't believe how disrepcetful and degrading their last message was
Reply
childcaremom 12:51 PM 03-16-2016
Originally Posted by finsup:
Yeah, they're not happy about rules being enforced. I may very well loose them over this but I refuse to be disrespected. They said they because I am legally unliscesned (I follow all the rules ratios wise, pay taxes etc but remain unliscesned because my space isn't big enough to make liscensing worth it) they shouldn't have to abide by rules.
I actually used the line "I am not a teenaged baby sitter" so thanks Leigh for that! *sigh* from people who have been here for 3 years, I can't believe how disrepcetful and degrading their last message was
Oh my goodness. I would not keep a client who said that to me. I would not want them back in my house and would be terming with no refund. Sorry that you are dealing with that.
Reply
Unregistered 12:52 PM 03-16-2016
They don't have to abide by the rules, they are free to go. They only have to follow the rules of your business if they wish to stay.
Reply
Ariana 12:19 AM 03-17-2016
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
Oh my goodness. I would not keep a client who said that to me. I would not want them back in my house and would be terming with no refund. Sorry that you are dealing with that.
So much this! What does licensing have to do with it? A lot of us are legaly unlicensed but still run a perfectly legal business with rules. Also licensing rules are very different from business rules so even licensed home daycares make their own set of rules.

Some people are just so rude and entitled!
Reply
Snowmom 07:38 AM 03-17-2016
Originally Posted by finsup:
Yeah, they're not happy about rules being enforced. I may very well loose them over this but I refuse to be disrespected. They said they because I am legally unliscesned (I follow all the rules ratios wise, pay taxes etc but remain unliscesned because my space isn't big enough to make liscensing worth it) they shouldn't have to abide by rules.
I actually used the line "I am not a teenaged baby sitter" so thanks Leigh for that! *sigh* from people who have been here for 3 years, I can't believe how disrepcetful and degrading their last message was
Because of that statement alone, I would terminate services effective immediately.
Rules are in place to protect you, your clients and the children you care for.
I don't care if a parent doesn't understand WHY they are in place, but if you walk through my front door, you better believe you will abide by them or you can walk your tukus right back out.
Reply
Tags:drama, sickness
Reply Up