Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Feeling down! DCK is Leaving Me
MamaB'sKidz 05:19 AM 03-01-2014
I just started my home daycare October of 2013 to stay home with my LO and there are so few daycares in our area. Everything has been going great, well at least that's how I feel. But a DCM just gave me her 2 weeks notice for her child. The mom just got a new job and her start time is now 6am instead of 8am. She said she found another DC that opens earlier. My hours are 7 to 5. Her and I had worked out a new drop off time of 645am and another relative was going to drop off the Child but she said that's just not going to work out now. I just can't help but feel she wasn't happy with how I was caring for her child. This is the first DCK that has left me so I'm just a little down about this. Any positive encouragement would be great! 
KidGrind 05:34 AM 03-01-2014
Originally Posted by MamaB'sKidz:
I just started my home daycare October of 2013 to stay home with my LO and there are so few daycares in our area. Everything has been going great, well at least that's how I feel. But a DCM just gave me her 2 weeks notice for her child. The mom just got a new job and her start time is now 6am instead of 8am. She said she found another DC that opens earlier. My hours are 7 to 5. Her and I had worked out a new drop off time of 645am and another relative was going to drop off the Child but she said that's just not going to work out now. I just can't help but feel she wasn't happy with how I was caring for her child. This is the first DCK that has left me so I'm just a little down about this. Any positive encouragement would be great!
I am sorry you’re down about the termination. You know the situation better than I ever could. DCPs often do what’s best for them. The DCM had to take the following into consideration:I just started my home daycare October of 2013 to stay home with my LO and there are so few daycares in our area. Everything has been going great, well at least that's how I feel. But a DCM just gave me her 2 weeks notice for her child. The mom just got a new job and her start time is now 6am instead of 8am. She said she found another DC that opens earlier. My hours are 7 to 5. Her and I had worked out a new drop off time of 645am and another relative was going to drop off the Child but she said that's just not going to work out now. I just can't help but feel she wasn't happy with how I was caring for her child. This is the first DCK that has left me so I'm just a little down about this. Any positive encouragement would be great!
Is relative reliable?
What if relative is ill?
What if relative’s car breaks down?
What if relative moves or goes on vacation?
So I understand DCM’s decision. It doesn’t mean she thought less of you as a provider. Potential DCPs have tried to reason with me about extending my hours. I have said, “No!” until yesterday. The DCM is a medical professional. She works 12 hour shifts. It will work for me and my family. The DCM has to go with a situation that will work for her needs.
Her situation changed and it wasn’t a right fit anymore. I hope you fill the spot with a great DCF!
CraftyMom 06:25 AM 03-01-2014
It happens. Try not to take it personally because more than likely it has nothing to do with you at all.
That being said I have a tough time when kids leave (on good terms). I always cry after they walk out the door, I'm a big sap!
My first one was tough. I really liked the dcb. Mom's work hours changed. I close at 4:30, they need care until 5:30. I was willing to stay open until 5 for him but not 5:30. (My kids have dance class and I work at night per diem still). I thought it must have something to do with me, until Mom gave me a very nice termination letter saying how much they liked it here but the hours didn't work anymore.
That being said I have a tough time when kids leave (on good terms). I always cry after they walk out the door, I'm a big sap!
My first one was tough. I really liked the dcb. Mom's work hours changed. I close at 4:30, they need care until 5:30. I was willing to stay open until 5 for him but not 5:30. (My kids have dance class and I work at night per diem still). I thought it must have something to do with me, until Mom gave me a very nice termination letter saying how much they liked it here but the hours didn't work anymore.
Blackcat31 08:08 AM 03-01-2014
I've been in this business for two decades.
Kids come and go.
Parents enroll and with draw for all sorts of reasons.
It is RARELY personal.
It's business.
You don't open as early as that family needs care. That family found another provider who better meets their needs. They aren't leaving because they don't like you...kwim?
EVERYONE needs to do what works best for them. As a parent, I would much prefer being able to drop my own child off each day, verses having a family member do it. Especially that early in the morning.
Kids come and go.
Parents enroll and with draw for all sorts of reasons.
It is RARELY personal.
It's business.
You don't open as early as that family needs care. That family found another provider who better meets their needs. They aren't leaving because they don't like you...kwim?
EVERYONE needs to do what works best for them. As a parent, I would much prefer being able to drop my own child off each day, verses having a family member do it. Especially that early in the morning.
cheerfuldom 12:15 PM 03-01-2014
You have to understand that most of the time, parents do not attach to you the way one might think they would. They see you and your house as a service and when that no longer works for them, 90% will walk away and you will never hear from them again. This is not personal. They just don't need what you have to offer anymore. In six years of daycare, I am still friends with three of my daycare families and all the rest, I have never heard from again even though we live in the same town and I have even sent an email or message here or there just to say hi or see if they need tax stuff or whatever. Rarely ever any response at all once they leave. I am sharing this with you so that you know what is happening is completely normal in the business so it is something you have to get used to. It would be best for you to not attach to the family to the point where you are upset when they find a better arrangement. From their point of view, they have found something easier/cheaper/more convenient and that is what they are looking for. You cannot fault them for that. I know when I was looking for daycare, I felt the same way. We all want what works for our family in the moment.
MamaB'sKidz 12:52 PM 03-01-2014
All great advice! Thank you everyone!! I need to remind myself that this is my business and not take things so personally. I'm bad for taking things to personal 
TwinKristi 02:34 PM 03-01-2014
Oops! DP!
TwinKristi 02:36 PM 03-01-2014
The first time someone gave me notice it was only after a couple wks and both of the 2 moms who did this left and stayed home, they didn't go to another daycare. And the 3rd one was probably more of a hit than any of the others. One PT guy left for FT PreK and I understood. But the one who left and moved to "Jr Preschool" was hard. Even though I was seriously ready to term and had placed an ad for openings when she told me. She told me like 3mos before and while I appreciated it, it made things worse for me. I had 3mos of mixed emotions. Happiness when he was crying during nap, screaming mine and taking toys from others or when his mom brought him sick (again...) but then sad that this little boy who's not even 2 has to have everything he knows changed and made into a big boy. Mom said it was only because it made her life a little easier to have drop offs and pick ups at one location and I get that, but it added less than 5 mins to her day to drive to my house which was super close to her work and she drives past it anyway. Plus come Fall his sister will be elsewhere anyway so it was only from Jan to Aug that this reason would even apply and she wants to have another baby as well so then it's 3 places, not 1 or two! But whatever, I know it wasn't about my level of care, if anything it was because he wasn't allowed to come sick anymore and I was putting my foot down. It was shortly after the first time I really put my foot down that she inquired about him going to preschool but he had to be 2. They made the exception to take him for 6wks before 2 so of course she felt special or something.
I can understand why this DCM had to change, your hours just didn't work anymore and it would be a huge inconvenience to have to rely on someone else. Change of jobs sometimes means change of daycare if the days/hours don't work. It doesn't mean it's because of your care, you weren't willing to open at 6 or she would have stayed.
I can understand why this DCM had to change, your hours just didn't work anymore and it would be a huge inconvenience to have to rely on someone else. Change of jobs sometimes means change of daycare if the days/hours don't work. It doesn't mean it's because of your care, you weren't willing to open at 6 or she would have stayed.
Josiegirl 09:33 AM 03-02-2014
You sound so much like me. I get attached to most of these kids in a very strong way and always feel that when they leave, it must've been something I did or didn't do. It's ridiculous really, we shouldn't feel that way. With us, it should be more about business relationships. With parents, it's more about convenience.
They become such a part of our lives and daily routine, not to mention a part of our own kids' lives; when they leave it opens up an emotional waterfall. I remember quite a few over the years and still miss them and think about them. But then there's probably just as many that I struggle to remember their names. It'll get better for you over time.
I even remember the first time a dcp didn't choose me. How arrogant of me(back then) to think they should have and wondered what I was doing wrong, etc., etc. We have to keep ourselves a little bit distant from the emotional side of this business and not take everything personally. MUCH easier said than done.
It's ridiculous really, we shouldn't feel that way. With us, it should be more about business relationships. With parents, it's more about convenience.They become such a part of our lives and daily routine, not to mention a part of our own kids' lives; when they leave it opens up an emotional waterfall. I remember quite a few over the years and still miss them and think about them. But then there's probably just as many that I struggle to remember their names.
It'll get better for you over time. I even remember the first time a dcp didn't choose me. How arrogant of me(back then) to think they should have and wondered what I was doing wrong, etc., etc. We have to keep ourselves a little bit distant from the emotional side of this business and not take everything personally. MUCH easier said than done.
daycarediva 11:25 AM 03-02-2014
Ask her for a letter of reference!
Honestly, I still cry when some kids leave.
I can't help but become attached and really care for them. I'm a big softy. I start to tear up just thinking of my dcg going to kindy in fall (out of district, can't keep her as SA). Her Mom started to cry when she was telling me she got the school district rezoning letter, too. We WILL stay in touch. I adore the whole family. 
I am friends with two families from the last 7 years of care. One I TERMINATED for behavior, and we still keep in touch and get together. Those relationships are so wonderful, and long lasting it really makes the not so great ones worth it.
It gets easier, because you come to know it's going to happen. Some kids are easier than others (some I have all but cheered when I closed the door for the last time)
Honestly, I still cry when some kids leave.
I can't help but become attached and really care for them. I'm a big softy. I start to tear up just thinking of my dcg going to kindy in fall (out of district, can't keep her as SA). Her Mom started to cry when she was telling me she got the school district rezoning letter, too. We WILL stay in touch. I adore the whole family. I am friends with two families from the last 7 years of care. One I TERMINATED for behavior, and we still keep in touch and get together. Those relationships are so wonderful, and long lasting it really makes the not so great ones worth it.
It gets easier, because you come to know it's going to happen. Some kids are easier than others (some I have all but cheered when I closed the door for the last time)