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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>WWYD? Dcb Things Left?
MNmamaOf4 06:49 AM 10-31-2011
Two weeks ago today, DCD (my only full-time family) gave me a verbal notice that starting in November that DCB would no longer becoming and that his Grandma would be taking care of him. I asked 3 times that week for a written notice for his file, never got one. Last Monday, his mom called and said he had a fever, same thing on Tuesday, never heard from them Wednesday or Thursday. Finally I e-mailed the mom Thursday to make sure he was okay and she e-mailed back that he had a double ear infection. I e-mailed her back that I hoped he'd start feeling better soon, etc and also asked her to let me know if he'd be here Monday (today), so I could plan accordingly. They pay a month in advance so they were paid through today. I never heard from DCM again. I still have his stuff--diapers, sippy cup, diaper cream, extra outfit. What do I do with it?

I don't get what's going on. I've never had any issues with this family, they always paid on time, DCB has been here since February and the first 2-1/2 months I had him, he cried/screamed ALL day long unless I was holding him. Couldn't get him to sleep anywhere but in the swing or me holding him for those first few months. His Grandma took care of him before I had him, but it was getting to be too much for her, so they decided to put him in daycare and she just watched him on Fridays. Now she's going to watch him full-time again. I don't know what happened with this family, but their behavior after they gave notice was kind of different. DCD would drop him off and leave, send Grandma to pick him up. Normally the dad would make small talk with me in the mornings at drop off and Grandma would chat a little when she'd pick him up before, but after they gave notice, they came in, dropped off or picked up and left. So I'm confused!

UPDATE: I got an e-mail back from DCM this evening, said she will come towards the end of the week to pick up DCB's stuff, she thanked me for my wonderful care for the past 6 months. She told me that DCB is going to miss the interaction with the other kids and that she's not totally sold on the idea of grandma taking care of him. It's her MIL that is going to be watching him. So I feel much better about the whole situation.
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Cat Herder 07:00 AM 10-31-2011
I'd send an email telling her when she can pick up his stuff (don't leave it open ended).

After that deadline has passed, consider it a donation and don't give the whole scenario another minutes thought.
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Nellie 07:07 AM 10-31-2011
You need to keep his things I think for a little while. I think before you get rid of them they need to be made aware that you have them and are going to be throwing them away on X date. Give them a couple of weeks. That way your back side is covered.
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MarinaVanessa 07:13 AM 10-31-2011
I suppose if you really wanted to try and find out why they left you could always just call directly and ask them up front. "Hey Susan, I know that you said that little Johny would be going back to Grandma's full time and because of that he won't be coming to daycare anymore but I couldn't help but feel a difference in vibe from DCD when he dropped Johny off. Is there an issue that I'm not aware of?"

If you don't want to be up front about it you could email a daycare evaluation sheet to them and ask questions to see if they'll write something to you and bring up any "issues" in the "Areas for improvement" section.

IMO I would just let it go. If there was a problem and they wanted to be honest with you then they would have talked to you about it from the get-go. Maybe there really isn't a problem. Maybe DCD just felt akward for telling you all about the arrangement with grandma and how that wasn't working and now he feels sheepish because they're going back to that.

As for his things I would put them all in a bag and write DCM an email listing what you have and give them the opportunity to come by and pick it up. If you don't want to keep it give them a deadline to get it. If they don't come to get it within 2 weeks for example, you could consider DC property or throw it out. I've inherited plenty of sippies, blankets, diapers and clothing when kids grow out of my program. Most of the time they never come back to get it because it's "baby" stuff that they brought to DC that they didn't much care for to begin with so they leave it here.
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Heidi 07:34 AM 10-31-2011
I agree with Marina...I think they used you when they needed you, but now that he's a little older, grandma is free, so they will take him there. Maybe they feel a little guilty because that was the plan all along, and they never told you.

Send them an email saying please pickup his stuff by ***, or you will donate it to the dc. Say something nice at the end, and let it go.

You just never know what is going in other people's heads, and maybe they struggle financially.

Did you get a creepy vibe, like they might call licensing and make up something? If so, I would just make sure all your I's are doted and T's crossed, and expect a visit, or be proactive and call your licenser. Let her know they left under strange circumstances, and you just giving her a headsup (note I assume all licensers are women..)
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MNmamaOf4 07:45 AM 10-31-2011
Originally Posted by bbo:
I agree with Marina...I think they used you when they needed you, but now that he's a little older, grandma is free, so they will take him there. Maybe they feel a little guilty because that was the plan all along, and they never told you.

Send them an email saying please pickup his stuff by ***, or you will donate it to the dc. Say something nice at the end, and let it go.

You just never know what is going in other people's heads, and maybe they struggle financially.

Did you get a creepy vibe, like they might call licensing and make up something? If so, I would just make sure all your I's are doted and T's crossed, and expect a visit, or be proactive and call your licenser. Let her know they left under strange circumstances, and you just giving her a headsup (note I assume all licensers are women..)
My DH thinks it's just a financial situation, the DCD farms and has a very part-time job. DCD said Grandma was going to be taking care of him because she doesn't have anything to do this winter. They have a daughter too who is almost 5 and she goes to a Montessori school. So my other thought was that they are maybe getting ready to transition him there. He just turned 1 within the last month.

I didn't get a creepy vibe from them, it almost like they were feeling guilty that they were leaving and didn't know what else to say. I've always been good to this family and they've always been very good to me too. I think I was just reading into it too much.
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MNmamaOf4 07:52 AM 10-31-2011
I just sent mom an e-mail about picking up his stuff. Also told her that we'll miss him (I really will), also he's 3 weeks younger than my youngest and they've become good pals and both starting crawling/walking/etc around the the same time.
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cheerfuldom 07:52 AM 10-31-2011
Grandma probably wants him back now that his days are orderly and he isn't a screamer. I would guess they will be looking for daycare in again in a few months once he picks up bad habits at Grandma's again and needs that structure and routine that he gets from daycare.
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MNmamaOf4 07:57 AM 10-31-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Grandma probably wants him back now that his days are orderly and he isn't a screamer. I would guess they will be looking for daycare in again in a few months once he picks up bad habits at Grandma's again and needs that structure and routine that he gets from daycare.
I kind of thought that too, Grandma is a widow so I'm sure it's nice for her to have him around during the days. But he was 4 months old when I got him and was use to being held all the time. Which wasn't possible with my own infant and other kids to take care of. I was ready to dismiss him after the first few weeks and DH told me to stick it out, it took 2-1/2 months to get him into a routine here and into a decent napping schedule.

Thanks ladies for all your insight, you're making me feel a lot better about the situation!
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MNmamaOf4 06:39 AM 11-01-2011
I got an e-mail back from DCM last night, said she will come towards the end of the week to pick up DCB's stuff, she thanked me for my wonderful care for the past 6 months. She told me that DCB is going to miss the interaction with the other kids and that she's not totally sold on the idea of grandma taking care of him. It's her MIL that is going to be watching him. So I feel much better about the whole situation.
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wdmmom 08:44 AM 11-01-2011
If they don't show up by the end of the week, send a FINAL email that they will need to pick up no later than next weeks garbage pick up day or it will be tossed.
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renodeb 09:08 AM 11-01-2011
When a child leaves I bag up all there stuff and have it ready for them there last day. Half the time they take it and half the time they donate it to me. Give her a dead line and stick to it. That way you wont have to wait and wonder if they are gonna come.
I hope you find a replacement soon!
Debbie
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Cat Herder 09:43 AM 11-01-2011
Originally Posted by MNmamaOf4:
I got an e-mail back from DCM last night, said she will come towards the end of the week to pick up DCB's stuff, she thanked me for my wonderful care for the past 6 months. She told me that DCB is going to miss the interaction with the other kids and that she's not totally sold on the idea of grandma taking care of him. It's her MIL that is going to be watching him. So I feel much better about the whole situation.
I'd be cautious about her using this excuse as a way to keep this slot available, for free, for a time period. If you decide to hold it for her, I would recommend making her pay a large deposit up front.

Especially over the Holidays, this could end up being a stressful "LIMBO" type situation for your family.

IME, Letting a client come back does not work well.
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MNmamaOf4 12:18 PM 11-01-2011
Originally Posted by renodeb:
When a child leaves I bag up all there stuff and have it ready for them there last day. Half the time they take it and half the time they donate it to me. Give her a dead line and stick to it. That way you wont have to wait and wonder if they are gonna come.
I hope you find a replacement soon!
Debbie
I was expecting that he would have been here for daycare last week, but he was sick, otherwise I would have sent it home with him the week before (the week they gave notice).
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MNmamaOf4 12:19 PM 11-01-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I'd be cautious about her using this excuse as a way to keep this slot available, for free, for a time period. If you decide to hold it for her, I would recommend making her pay a large deposit up front.

Especially over the Holidays, this could end up being a stressful "LIMBO" type situation for your family.

IME, Letting a client come back does not work well.
I'm not planning to hold the spot open for them, if I get a call and get it filled, great. But I won't be holding it for them. I'm hoping I can get it filled before they even try and ask for it back. I'm not even offering my services for drop-in care if Grandma isn't available.
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Tags:free childcare, grandparents, returning supplies, supplies, terminate - no show
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