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Parents and Guardians Forum>Crying At Drop Off
Unregistered 09:38 AM 11-12-2013
My child has been in daycare since she was 4 months and is now 2 1/2. Aside from when she was a little baby, she has pretty much always cried at drop off. We've had periods when she hasn't, but that's outside of the norm. I've tried sitting for a little while and I've tried the drop and run. She's eaten breakfast at home and we've tried eating breakfast at the center. She's attended a very large, coorporate center and a very small, "homey" one. It just doesn't matter. At both places they assured me that she was fine within a few minutes and when I pick her up she's happy as can be- sometimes doesn't even want to go home. In the morning she never complains that she doesn't want to go, the tears just begin the minute I say I'm going to work. I don't know what to do- it really is a horrible way to begin my day!
blandino 04:10 PM 11-12-2013
I currently have some kids who have been with me over a year who still cry at drop-offs. As a provider I would say that if she is happy within a few minutes, then she is fine. If it were lasting more than that I would think it would be related to the daycare, but I think it is more of a seperation from mom issue than a not wanting to go to school issue.
Does the behavior work for her at all ? I mean doe she get extra attention from you when she does it ? Sometimes a child likes the extra attention they get, which causes a parent to stay longer, which in turn gives the child a little of what they want - which reinforces it. I would make drop offs exactly the same very morning - walk in, things put away, hug and kiss, and then leave. As simple as possible. At her age you could go over the steps with her in the car on the way to daycare.
Does the behavior work for her at all ? I mean doe she get extra attention from you when she does it ? Sometimes a child likes the extra attention they get, which causes a parent to stay longer, which in turn gives the child a little of what they want - which reinforces it. I would make drop offs exactly the same very morning - walk in, things put away, hug and kiss, and then leave. As simple as possible. At her age you could go over the steps with her in the car on the way to daycare.
daycare 04:30 PM 11-12-2013
I would start your good-bye process as you are approaching the street of the DC while still in the car.
Tell your child step by step what will happen. Mommy is going to walk you into the dc, help you take off your shoes/coat, kiss you good-bye and then leave for work. DO exactly that.
some kids need to be reminded of what will happen next. I have kids who have been here for years and then all of a sudden will do this.
sometimes it because mommy is working more, or daddy is working more. Maybe there is a new sibling at home, or something other kind of change no matter how big or small that can take affect on them.
I find that this works like a charm.
Hope that this helps....
Tell your child step by step what will happen. Mommy is going to walk you into the dc, help you take off your shoes/coat, kiss you good-bye and then leave for work. DO exactly that.
some kids need to be reminded of what will happen next. I have kids who have been here for years and then all of a sudden will do this.
sometimes it because mommy is working more, or daddy is working more. Maybe there is a new sibling at home, or something other kind of change no matter how big or small that can take affect on them.
I find that this works like a charm.
Hope that this helps....
nannyde 07:04 PM 11-12-2013
She's just giving you a farewell performance!
misslori50 02:22 PM 11-13-2013
some kids just cry. I have a friend who does childcare and she has had a little one fro 3 years and the child still cries every day
grandmom 03:19 PM 11-13-2013
Believe your provider. Start your day with your child and be happy. Don't ever apologize that you have to leave her. And then stay only long enough to sign in and get her coat off. Then kiss her happily and say "have fun" and leave. Every single day. The longer you stay, the more you change the routine, the worse the farewell performance will be. Your provider will appreciate your vote of confidence too.
Maria2013 03:42 PM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by grandmom:
Believe your provider. Start your day with your child and be happy. Don't ever apologize that you have to leave her. And then stay only long enough to sign in and get her coat off. Then kiss her happily and say "have fun" and leave. Every single day. The longer you stay, the more you change the routine, the worse the farewell performance will be. Your provider will appreciate your vote of confidence too.
Believe your provider. Start your day with your child and be happy. Don't ever apologize that you have to leave her. And then stay only long enough to sign in and get her coat off. Then kiss her happily and say "have fun" and leave. Every single day. The longer you stay, the more you change the routine, the worse the farewell performance will be. Your provider will appreciate your vote of confidence too.
Unregistered 06:55 AM 11-14-2013
warned her- or rather- explained to her what was going to happen while we were in the car. She said "mommy sit for a while." I told her "no, Mommy needs to go to work and *** needs to go to school. Of course, the tears started, but I ignored them. When we got to daycare, we walked in and put her stuff away in her cubby. I normally let her go into the kitchen with me to put her lunch away, so she cried when I left her in the room. I messed up, because I came back to kiss her goodbye and she had already stopped crying. The only way out is to walk back through her room, so I think tomorrow I'll ask her teacher to put her lunch away for me. I kissed her, said goodbye, and walked out. I even had time to get a coffee on my way to work! 
kindertouch 12:54 AM 11-17-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
She's just giving you a farewell performance!
LOL!She's just giving you a farewell performance!
Maybe she just misses your presence a lot that's why. As parents we should really practice on telling our kids ahead of time on what to do.
Unregistered 07:15 AM 11-18-2013
I have to just admit that she's terribly spoiled. I left her with her aunt this weekend and when I came to get her my SIL said she became a different child. She just acts so much worse when I'm around. 
I think some of it is normal age appropriate stuff- I know she feels more comfortable with me than anyone else in the world, but I'm realizing that I let her get away with way too much with me. Drop off for the rest of the week have gone much better. I'm new at this parenting stuff and learning as I go.
I think some of it is normal age appropriate stuff- I know she feels more comfortable with me than anyone else in the world, but I'm realizing that I let her get away with way too much with me. Drop off for the rest of the week have gone much better. I'm new at this parenting stuff and learning as I go.
Play Care 09:20 AM 11-18-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have to just admit that she's terribly spoiled. I left her with her aunt this weekend and when I came to get her my SIL said she became a different child. She just acts so much worse when I'm around. I think some of it is normal age appropriate stuff- I know she feels more comfortable with me than anyone else in the world, but I'm realizing that I let her get away with way too much with me. Drop off for the rest of the week have gone much better. I'm new at this parenting stuff and learning as I go.
I have to just admit that she's terribly spoiled. I left her with her aunt this weekend and when I came to get her my SIL said she became a different child. She just acts so much worse when I'm around.
I think some of it is normal age appropriate stuff- I know she feels more comfortable with me than anyone else in the world, but I'm realizing that I let her get away with way too much with me. Drop off for the rest of the week have gone much better. I'm new at this parenting stuff and learning as I go.
We've all been there
my oldest DD had some health issues when she was that age and I let her get away with a LOT because of it
It took a little while to get things back in order but it's doable. The best thing you can do for your child is to let her know you have faith in her ability to adapt and have fun without you. Build her confidence. Great job mama!!!