Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Intentional puking
Unregistered 11:38 AM 08-02-2018
Need advice how do you handle a three yearold who pukes on purpose? Last week it was at snack and now at lunch. Need to nip this pronto! How to address this with the parent? Only have a few weeks left as this kid is headed to preschool Thank God! Can't send him home because that would be giving him what he wants. Advice please!!!
Reply
Cat Herder 11:45 AM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Need advice how do you handle a three yearold who pukes on purpose? Last week it was at snack and now at lunch. Need to nip this pronto! How to address this with the parent? Only have a few weeks left as this kid is headed to preschool Thank God! Can't send him home because that would be giving him what he wants. Advice please!!!
"Can't send him home because that would be giving him what he wants." - That is what I'd do. Send him home. Vomiting = Go home.

It would be up to the parents to make it NOT what he wants.

Parent: It's a verb.
Reply
amberrose3dg 11:46 AM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
"Can't send him home because that would be giving him what he wants." - That is what I'd do. Send him home. Vomiting = Go home.

It would be up to the parents to make it NOT what he wants.

Parent: It's a verb.

same here
Reply
boy_mom 11:53 AM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
"Can't send him home because that would be giving him what he wants." - That is what I'd do. Send him home. Vomiting = Go home.

It would be up to the parents to make it NOT what he wants.

Parent: It's a verb.
Say its again louder for the people in the back!!!!
Reply
storybookending 12:01 PM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Parent: It's a verb.
I am SO stealing this quote
Reply
LysesKids 12:12 PM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
"Can't send him home because that would be giving him what he wants." - That is what I'd do. Send him home. Vomiting = Go home.

It would be up to the parents to make it NOT what he wants.

Parent: It's a verb.
Yep... I send home for symptoms & vomiting, regardless of cause, is one of them
Reply
Unregistered 12:12 PM 08-02-2018
How do you address it with the pissed parent who has to pick up a kid who isn't sick?
Reply
Ariana 12:17 PM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
How do you address it with the pissed parent who has to pick up a kid who isn't sick?
Ignore their tantrum. If they signed a contract that states that sick kids go home then they are responsible. I would treat this as if the kid is sick. Vomitting must mean they are sick.

Another option is to completely ignore this kids vomitting. I had a kid who would vomit to get attention from tantrumming and ignoring it made it stop.
Reply
Blackcat31 12:18 PM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Need advice how do you handle a three yearold who pukes on purpose? Last week it was at snack and now at lunch. Need to nip this pronto! How to address this with the parent? Only have a few weeks left as this kid is headed to preschool Thank God! Can't send him home because that would be giving him what he wants. Advice please!!!
Why does that matter to you as the provider?

I'm not being rude or snarky.....I genuinely want to know why a provider's feels this way. I know we don't like to "give in" to a child any more than a child likes to not have control but if the reason for not sending home is simply due to not giving the child what he/she needs then I think it's a silly reason.

Why can't he have what he wants (home)?
He's clearly figured out a way to get what he wants (you didn't teach him or support his methods) so if it works with his parents, why not remove yourself from the whole situation since you played no part in it and let the parents figure it out.... I mean, I certainly wouldn't want to clean up puke.

Regardless of whether it is illness puke or intentional puke.

Puke = call for pick up.

If parents protest, tell them you played no role in teaching him (or using consequences) that it works so why would they expect you to deal with it?

I send home due to symptoms NOT diagnosis and if a child pukes, I am not a doctor so I can't say whether it was due to illness or intent.
Reply
Blackcat31 12:22 PM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
How do you address it with the pissed parent who has to pick up a kid who isn't sick?
When they tell you or express they are upset for having to come pick up a child that isn't sick say "Yeah, imagine how I feel having puke on my carpet from a child that isn't mine and don't know for certain isn't sick."

They should be embarrassed and feel bad for you.

Not the other way around.
Reply
Ariana 12:25 PM 08-02-2018
I had a mom who tried to convince me that her crying kid should not be sent home because she is getting what she wants. I termed her two weeks later A mom who does not want to deal with their kids behavioral issues is not someone I want in my daycare.
Reply
Blackcat31 12:39 PM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I had a mom who tried to convince me that her crying kid should not be sent home because she is getting what she wants. I termed her two weeks later A mom who does not want to deal with their kids behavioral issues is not someone I want in my daycare.
This is really no different than any other behavioral issue (other than the ick factor).

Provider's shouldn't be the ones that have to deal with a LEARNED behavior. Especially one that is clearly reinforced (intentionally or unintentionally) by the parent.

Intentionally puking IS a learned behavior.

If this were any other learned behavior such as spitting, hitting, swearing etc.....the child would be terminated if it happened on a regular basis. Some would be immediate termination.
Reply
Cat Herder 12:42 PM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
How do you address it with the pissed parent who has to pick up a kid who isn't sick?
I tell them I understand parenting is hard, I've raised 3 myself. That, hopefully, they can get it under control quickly since it is a pretty common behavioral issue in preschool and younger elementary aged kids. I tell them they have it better than those parents whose kids figure out that if they mess their pants, become violent with friends or destroy property, they get to go home, too.

They generally crack a smile, here, and relay a story of themselves or their sibling faking sick to get out of doing something they did not want to do.

None of the discussion would ever be done in front of the child. It would be on the porch, before entering the playroom. THAT is very important.

It is about the kids needs for parenting. Not the parents want for convenience. It is one of the very first hurdles to public school attendance. Behavioral expectations. Parenting.
Reply
Cat Herder 12:44 PM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by storybookending:
I am SO stealing this quote
Steal away. It is not mine. It is Gerry Brook's. He wants everyone to steal it. https://www.facebook.com/gerrybrooks...7834137426182/

I bought the T-Shirt. With sparkle letters.
Reply
amberrose3dg 01:13 PM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I tell them I understand parenting is hard, I've raised 3 myself. That, hopefully, they can get it under control quickly since it is a pretty common behavioral issue in preschool and younger elementary aged kids. I tell them they have it better than those parents whose kids figure out that if they mess their pants, become violent with friends or destroy property, they get to go home, too.

They generally crack a smile, here, and relay a story of themselves or their sibling faking sick to get out of doing something they did not want to do.

None of the discussion would ever be done in front of the child. It would be on the porch, before entering the playroom. THAT is very important.

It is about the kids needs for parenting. Not the parents want for convenience. It is one of the very first hurdles to public school attendance. Behavioral expectations. Parenting.
Excuse my language but why the hell should you be cleaning up puke? I wish a parent would get mad about coming to get their child that just puked all over my house.
That is their issue to sort out, not yours. It continued. I'd terminate.
Reply
Meeko 01:24 PM 08-02-2018
Puke is puke. Nasty, dirty stuff and you can't have it around the other kids in your care. Junior goes home. Every. Single. Time. Until said time his parents figure out how to stop it. That's not your job.
Reply
Meeko 01:35 PM 08-02-2018
Many. many moons ago (before I did daycare), my husband's brother and family came to stay with us for a couple days on their way across country. My brother-in-law was a brat and unfortunately his kids were even worse.

His son was about three or four and used throwing up as his way to get anything he wanted. We were going to dinner in the car and the kid started wailing for something (I don't even remember what about...just that it was silly)

My no nonsense, military husband had had enough. He quickly pulled over, stopped the car, turned around and said (loudly)
"If you puke in my car, I will come round there, get you out of the car and leave you on the side of the road and you can walk home. Do. you. understand. me?"

It was met with vigorous nodding.

(This was pre daycare/politically correct days)

According to my brother-in-law...he never did it again.


Reply
e.j. 02:06 PM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
It would be up to the parents to make it NOT what he wants.
I really like how you think!

This thread reminds me of a 3 year old dcb I had years ago. He was my neighbor's nephew and I agreed to take him as a drop in one day. My neighbor asked what I was giving the kids for lunch and when I told her, she said, "Oh no! He hates that! He's going to make himself puke."

Sure enough, as soon as I put his plate in front of him, he started trying. I looked him in the eye and quietly but firmly said, "Don't. You. Dare. If you puke, I will not pick it up for you. You will be the one who picks it up." I think I had the element of surprise on my side; I doubt he expected me to react the way I did and so quickly. We had a stare-off for a few seconds and then he settled in and ate his entire lunch! I was so glad my neighbor had warned me and that dcb didn't test me! It was when I first started out doing day care so I probably would have kept him instead of calling his parents. I wouldn't do that now.
Reply
Leigh 02:17 PM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by e.j.:
I really like how you think!

This thread reminds me of a 3 year old dcb I had years ago. He was my neighbor's nephew and I agreed to take him as a drop in one day. My neighbor asked what I was giving the kids for lunch and when I told her, she said, "Oh no! He hates that! He's going to make himself puke."

Sure enough, as soon as I put his plate in front of him, he started trying. I looked him in the eye and quietly but firmly said, "Don't. You. Dare. If you puke, I will not pick it up for you. You will be the one who picks it up." I think I had the element of surprise on my side; I doubt he expected me to react the way I did and so quickly. We had a stare-off for a few seconds and then he settled in and ate his entire lunch! I was so glad my neighbor had warned me and that dcb didn't test me! It was when I first started out doing day care so I probably would have kept him instead of calling his parents. I wouldn't do that now.
This is exactly how I stopped the 2 kids I used to have who pooped their pants when they were told no or didn't get their way (4 year olds). They actually did clean it up. The pooping stopped.
Reply
AmyKidsCo 08:40 PM 08-02-2018
Honestly, if he's headed to preschool it won't be your issue anymore. I exclude for symptoms and puking is a symptom. Not to mention unsanitary for the other children. ITA with everyone else - let it become the parents' problem. Besides, the one time you decide not to send him home so he won't get what he wants he'll probably really be sick and get everyone else sick too.
Reply
Unregistered 08:55 PM 08-02-2018
Originally Posted by Meeko:
Many. many moons ago (before I did daycare), my husband's brother and family came to stay with us for a couple days on their way across country. My brother-in-law was a brat and unfortunately his kids were even worse.

His son was about three or four and used throwing up as his way to get anything he wanted. We were going to dinner in the car and the kid started wailing for something (I don't even remember what about...just that it was silly)

My no nonsense, military husband had had enough. He quickly pulled over, stopped the car, turned around and said (loudly)
"If you puke in my car, I will come round there, get you out of the car and leave you on the side of the road and you can walk home. Do. you. understand. me?"

It was met with vigorous nodding.

(This was pre daycare/politically correct days)

According to my brother-in-law...he never did it again.

My brother did that once. He stuck his finger down his throat to get out of something. I can't remember what. My dad made him eat it. Honestly, I feel we baby kids too much now a days.
Reply
daycarediva 10:37 AM 08-03-2018
Originally Posted by Meeko:
Many. many moons ago (before I did daycare), my husband's brother and family came to stay with us for a couple days on their way across country. My brother-in-law was a brat and unfortunately his kids were even worse.

His son was about three or four and used throwing up as his way to get anything he wanted. We were going to dinner in the car and the kid started wailing for something (I don't even remember what about...just that it was silly)

My no nonsense, military husband had had enough. He quickly pulled over, stopped the car, turned around and said (loudly)
"If you puke in my car, I will come round there, get you out of the car and leave you on the side of the road and you can walk home. Do. you. understand. me?"

It was met with vigorous nodding.

(This was pre daycare/politically correct days)

According to my brother-in-law...he never did it again.

Originally Posted by e.j.:
I really like how you think!

This thread reminds me of a 3 year old dcb I had years ago. He was my neighbor's nephew and I agreed to take him as a drop in one day. My neighbor asked what I was giving the kids for lunch and when I told her, she said, "Oh no! He hates that! He's going to make himself puke."

Sure enough, as soon as I put his plate in front of him, he started trying. I looked him in the eye and quietly but firmly said, "Don't. You. Dare. If you puke, I will not pick it up for you. You will be the one who picks it up." I think I had the element of surprise on my side; I doubt he expected me to react the way I did and so quickly. We had a stare-off for a few seconds and then he settled in and ate his entire lunch! I was so glad my neighbor had warned me and that dcb didn't test me! It was when I first started out doing day care so I probably would have kept him instead of calling his parents. I wouldn't do that now.

***CLAPPING***

Natural consequences.

I had a child do this recently (and still starts once in a blue moon...)

I looked him straight in the face and calmly said "If you vomit, you'll clean it up. Understand me?"

He stopped.

He pulled it at pick up in my entryway when I refused to give him 'a treat' and Mom didn't have one in the car. Mom went to coddle/baby him and was reassuringly telling him they would GO GET A TREAT when I interrupted and said "CHILD'SNAME, ENOUGH."

He stopped immediately.
Reply
Lissa Kristine 02:29 PM 08-16-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
"Can't send him home because that would be giving him what he wants." - That is what I'd do. Send him home. Vomiting = Go home.

It would be up to the parents to make it NOT what he wants.

Parent: It's a verb.
I would probably have too much fun punishing a child who tried to pull this on me.

First off, any dairy products are now off-limits. No milk. No cheese. No yogurt.

No sweets or treats of any kind.

While waiting to be picked up, he's kept away from the other kids. He might want to play whatever game is happening, but he needs to be kept away because he's "sick."

If it's my own kid and I have to pick him up from school, it's the BRAT diet [which I've heard isn't even the best thing to give to a sick kid, but I feel like "I know you want ice cream, but you're sick and ice cream isn't good for your tummy" would help to drive the point home.


When I was 6, I had a major anger management problem. I had a hard time controlling my temper, and we had a system in place to help me. One of the things in my plan was that if I had two strikes where I lost my temper (I had a little yellow triangle that I could take off the blackboard; it was my hall pass to go to the guidance counselor if I caught myself, but if I was TOLD to get my triangle twice in one day, I had to be sent home). I agreed beforehand that if I was sent home, my punishment would be that I had to stay in bed all day. No books (I was reading chapter books at that time- my favorite were "The Babysitter's Club Little Sister" series books), no toys, NOTHING. I was allowed to leave my bed to eat and to use the bathroom.

I was sent home once, and my mom followed through. She had my friends over (she was their babysitter) and I wasn't allowed to play with them. I was stuck in bed with nothing to do until it was time to go to school the next morning. (And I'm sure the first thing I had to do when I arrived at school was apologize to my teacher.

That was the first and last time I was ever sent home from school for losing my temper.
Reply
Tags:intentional vomiting, parenting, puking on purpose, purposeful vomiting, throw up, vomiting
Reply Up