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Old 06-20-2011, 08:18 AM
DBug DBug is offline
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Default Tantrums ... And Then Some!

I have a 2.75 yo dcg who will throw fits at the drop of a hat. She's been with me since she was 13 months, for 12 hours a day until a month ago. Since then, 10 hours a day. I have a strong-willed son, and this dcg has many of the same characteristics, but I think she even goes beyond that. If she doesn't get her way in whatever situation we're in, she'll drop to the ground screaming like I'm stabbing her. She did this at the bus stop this morning ... again. And then I have to drag her home screaming the whole way. I used to deal with it because I thought she'd grow out of it with consistency and time. But she hasn't grown out of it, and it's getting worse and worse.

I know at home her tantrums get her whatever she wants (or they plug her with a soother), and I refuse to do either of those things here. But I've always thought that since she's with me more waking hours than at home, she'd eventually clue in that the tantrums won't get her anything.

I also know she's chronically tired, and this morning I've just been putting her in a playpen every time she starts up. But now she's falling asleep, and it's still 2 hours til naptime. I'm willing to bet that because I'm letting her sleep now, she won't sleep at naptime and she'll keep everyone else up.

I just don't know what else to do -- how should I deal with her fits, and her tiredness? Is 2.75 yo too old for a regular morning nap? She arrives at 7:30, and I'd be putting her down at 9:15 since we need to get to the bus stop in between. Afternoon nap is 1 - 3, and then she gets picked up just after 5pm. From what I understand, bedtime is whenever she falls asleep on the couch at home.

For what it's worth, I'm not looking at terming or telling the parents how to parent. She's with me more waking hours than them anyway, so I would think that how I deal with it would likely be more effective than anything they do at home.
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Old 06-20-2011, 09:22 AM
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sharlan sharlan is offline
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I have one of those. He falls at the drop of a hat, drives me crazy. I just walk away and try not to feed into it. Mommy is a negotiator who believes in redirecting.

Can you put the child in a stroller to walk to the bus stop?
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Old 06-20-2011, 09:46 AM
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Meyou Meyou is offline
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I'd start putting her down for a nap in the morning. She sounds like she needs it. Is her bahavior better after nap in the pm? I, personally give morning naps until I feel they don't need it anymore. Most kids that's between 18 months and 2 years old but I have had a few that napped in the am beyond that.
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Old 06-20-2011, 10:42 AM
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jojosmommy jojosmommy is offline
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Sounds like she has learned what works at home. I have one like this who attends very irregularly when her regular provider can't do care. I had her for 9 months and had to term b/c of this and biting everyday. I can only take it 1-2 days so I commend you for putting up with it. I don't have real strategies b/c I know you keep thinking, "today will be the day she gets it. Today will be the day she figures out this isn't going to work." Dcg here is 2 yrs 8 months and a master manipulator of mommy. Old habits die hard I guess.

GOOD LUCK!!!
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Old 06-20-2011, 11:10 AM
DBug DBug is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sharlan View Post

Can you put the child in a stroller to walk to the bus stop?
Yes, I'm thinking I may have to do that. I keep thinking she's way too old for a stroller, but really it's just getting out of hand ... . All of the others walk, except for the 12 mo, who I carry in a backpack carrier. The others are all between 24 & 36 months, and they have no problem walking ...
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Old 06-20-2011, 11:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Meyou View Post
I'd start putting her down for a nap in the morning. She sounds like she needs it. Is her bahavior better after nap in the pm?
Yes, a million times better! That is ... until Daddy shows up at pick-up time. Then it's back to the dramatics .

So I guess she'll be starting back on a morning nap tomorrow, and see how it goes!
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