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  #1  
Old 01-11-2018, 06:51 AM
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Default What Have I Done ?! Help

Started a new child after christmas break, first warning sign was her being dropped off on New Years Day, despite my contract listing the days I'm closed...I let it slide because I had nothing planned and figured the little one could keep my daughter company.

Well, I was completely stuffed up with a cold and it wasn't until my husband came home from picking us up coffees that he pointed out our house reeked of cigarette smoke, and it seemed to be coming off the little one, her diaper bag, and her blanket from home

I stripped her down, washed everything and stuck some dryer sheets in her diaper bag, trying not to judge. We are a non smoking home and are very sensitive to smell. However frustration mounted when mom had car trouble and wasn't able to come until 7:30pm. My hours are 7-4:30pm...but I made excuses, we've all been there with car troubles!

The next day when my regulars came back from vacation the parents also noted the smoke, I was neutral and told them I'd talk it over with the new little one's parents.

The parents deny they smoke I just really really doubt this, as each day her clothing, her body, and her things just absolutely reek again and so do the parents now that I have an unstuffed nose. It doesn't help that the little girl is not on a schedule, she is allowed to stay up until 10pm and is delivered here sleeping everyday in the morning until the time when most kids are just going down for nap so these last 2 weeks have been beyond stressful.

Anyways, add to the fact they have been late every single day, still citing car troubles and new job times, I feel I need to terminate and swiftly.

What's a nice way to do this? In my contract I do have to give them 2 weeks notice and will honor that but I'm honestly dreading when they ask me why and I have to list off the reasons...
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Old 01-11-2018, 07:01 AM
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Originally Posted by daycarenewbie View Post
Started a new child after christmas break, first warning sign was her being dropped off on New Years Day, despite my contract listing the days I'm closed...I let it slide because I had nothing planned and figured the little one could keep my daughter company.

Well, I was completely stuffed up with a cold and it wasn't until my husband came home from picking us up coffees that he pointed out our house reeked of cigarette smoke, and it seemed to be coming off the little one, her diaper bag, and her blanket from home

I stripped her down, washed everything and stuck some dryer sheets in her diaper bag, trying not to judge. We are a non smoking home and are very sensitive to smell. However frustration mounted when mom had car trouble and wasn't able to come until 7:30pm. My hours are 7-4:30pm...but I made excuses, we've all been there with car troubles!

The next day when my regulars came back from vacation the parents also noted the smoke, I was neutral and told them I'd talk it over with the new little one's parents.

The parents deny they smoke I just really really doubt this, as each day her clothing, her body, and her things just absolutely reek again and so do the parents now that I have an unstuffed nose. It doesn't help that the little girl is not on a schedule, she is allowed to stay up until 10pm and is delivered here sleeping everyday in the morning until the time when most kids are just going down for nap so these last 2 weeks have been beyond stressful.

Anyways, add to the fact they have been late every single day, still citing car troubles and new job times, I feel I need to terminate and swiftly.

What's a nice way to do this? In my contract I do have to give them 2 weeks notice and will honor that but I'm honestly dreading when they ask me why and I have to list off the reasons...
I would just let them know they are not picking up on time. I couldn't handle ANY of that. Sounds like a disrespectful set of parents.
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Old 01-11-2018, 07:06 AM
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Originally Posted by daycarenewbie View Post
Started a new child after christmas break, first warning sign was her being dropped off on New Years Day, despite my contract listing the days I'm closed...I let it slide because I had nothing planned and figured the little one could keep my daughter company.

Well, I was completely stuffed up with a cold and it wasn't until my husband came home from picking us up coffees that he pointed out our house reeked of cigarette smoke, and it seemed to be coming off the little one, her diaper bag, and her blanket from home

I stripped her down, washed everything and stuck some dryer sheets in her diaper bag, trying not to judge. We are a non smoking home and are very sensitive to smell. However frustration mounted when mom had car trouble and wasn't able to come until 7:30pm. My hours are 7-4:30pm...but I made excuses, we've all been there with car troubles!

The next day when my regulars came back from vacation the parents also noted the smoke, I was neutral and told them I'd talk it over with the new little one's parents.

The parents deny they smoke I just really really doubt this, as each day her clothing, her body, and her things just absolutely reek again and so do the parents now that I have an unstuffed nose. It doesn't help that the little girl is not on a schedule, she is allowed to stay up until 10pm and is delivered here sleeping everyday in the morning until the time when most kids are just going down for nap so these last 2 weeks have been beyond stressful.

Anyways, add to the fact they have been late every single day, still citing car troubles and new job times, I feel I need to terminate and swiftly.

What's a nice way to do this? In my contract I do have to give them 2 weeks notice and will honor that but I'm honestly dreading when they ask me why and I have to list off the reasons...
Do you have a trial period? If so I would just decline to permanently enroll this child.

Also, these parents are taking advantage of you because you are allowing them to. You are right, we all have car troubles etc but that does not mean their problems are YOUR problems. If they have car trouble they should have called a back up and had that back up person come pick up their child rather than assume you would just keep her after closing.

I would NEVER have taken her in on New Year's Day. That was the first thing that told these parents that their issues will be managed by you. And they are doing exactly that.

I'd stop worrying about notice and simply tell them you are not a good fit for their needs (they need a 24/7 center) and that you are no longer willing to provide care after today.

The cigarette odor, the late pick ups, disregard for program policies etc are grounds for immediate termination in many programs.

I am sorry you are having to manage this. These types of situations aren't pleasant but do yourself a huge favor and stop worrying about their end of this situation and worry about you and yours. Term and don't feel bad. You have to look out for you and yours just like anyone else.
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Old 01-11-2018, 07:26 AM
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I would never have taken the child on New Years. That is a paid holiday for me and if I took a child that day, then it would beat the purpose of having a paid day off. Establishing boundries is important and now this family thinks you work for them. I would never have kept that child til 7:30. There would have been a VERY big late fee and a huge warning if it happened again, they would be terminated. Their child is not your life.
I would tell them that they have been late too many times and if it happens again, they will be terminated. It will probably happen, so there is your way out lol
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Old 01-11-2018, 07:56 AM
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I would never have taken the child on New Years. That is a paid holiday for me and if I took a child that day, then it would beat the purpose of having a paid day off. Establishing boundries is important and now this family thinks you work for them. I would never have kept that child til 7:30. There would have been a VERY big late fee and a huge warning if it happened again, they would be terminated. Their child is not your life.
I would tell them that they have been late too many times and if it happens again, they will be terminated. It will probably happen, so there is your way out lol
3 hours passed is considered abandonment by the way. In my state 30 minutes longer we can call the police. I've never done it but something like that would make me consider it. Funny they have transportation to get the child there. You have plenty of reasons to term . I would do it asap. It won't get better, I promise.
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Old 01-11-2018, 08:03 AM
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Originally Posted by amberrose3dg View Post
3 hours passed is considered abandonment by the way. In my state 30 minutes longer we can call the police. I've never done it but something like that would make me consider it. Funny they have transportation to get the child there. You have plenty of reasons to term . I would do it asap. It won't get better, I promise.
Right! Car works in the morning but not in the evening?
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Old 01-11-2018, 08:18 AM
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Originally Posted by MomBoss View Post
Right! Car works in the morning but not in the evening?
Also in our state, you are technically operating illegally if care is provided outside your submitted hours of operation.

I think your liability insurance would have issues covering a child care child after hours too.
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Old 01-11-2018, 08:19 AM
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Get out, get out now. I have a trial period in my contract for this exact reason. Donít try to over explain yourself. Just say itís not a good fit and move on.
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  #9  
Old 01-11-2018, 08:44 AM
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Could the smell be from wood burning stove?
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  #10  
Old 01-11-2018, 09:13 AM
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Get out, get out now. I have a trial period in my contract for this exact reason. Donít try to over explain yourself. Just say itís not a good fit and move on.
this x10.
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Old 01-11-2018, 09:55 AM
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Ditto on the New Year's Day first of all. No way would I have allowed them to attend that day. And such lateness would be termination. Immediate. I had a dcd pick up an hr. late 1 night and I thought that was bad. This family is definitely taking total advantage of you. Don't worry about how to state anything with them; doesn't seem like they've been too worried about $crewing with you. Just tell them a short and sweet 'this isn't working, here's the termination papers you can sign, here's your stuff'. And do NOT 2nd guess yourself.
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Old 01-11-2018, 12:00 PM
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If you want to keep the two week notice thing, you probably need to add some more text that gives exceptions, such as, "unless my polices are being violated after written or verbal notice have been given" "except in the case where provider feels that there is danger to herself, others in her care or her family, or her property." etc etc etc.

I don't mess with any of this and my contract is completely at will. Mine says that either party may terminate at any time either verbally or in writing with no notice given. It hasn't caused me major problems to have it this way. I have pay in advance, so with the exception of my first family, I have never been out money for care already given.

I just don't want to have to keep dealing with bad situations, and as I said, it hasn't caused me any major problems.
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Old 01-11-2018, 01:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Could the smell be from wood burning stove?
That's our primary heat source.

If you smell smokey from a wood stove, you need to get out of the house because you're likely to die in your sleep from carbon monoxide poisoning. Smoke should not be coming into the house other than the occasional time you
forget to open the flue before opening the stove doors.
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Old 01-11-2018, 02:22 PM
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Originally Posted by hwichlaz View Post
That's our primary heat source.

If you smell smokey from a wood stove, you need to get out of the house because you're likely to die in your sleep from carbon monoxide poisoning. Smoke should not be coming into the house other than the occasional time you
forget to open the flue before opening the stove doors.
Exactly... that and cigarette smoke smells different from a wood stove.
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Old 01-11-2018, 04:28 PM
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Originally Posted by LysesKids View Post
Exactly... that and cigarette smoke smells different from a wood stove.
Exactly
Seriously, there is a difference in wood and cigarette smoke smell. Cigarette smoke smell gives me headaches within minutes.
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They are also our future.
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Old 01-11-2018, 06:06 PM
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Originally Posted by daycarenewbie View Post
is delivered here sleeping everyday in the morning
Whoa whoa whoa I missed that one.

"Awake and alert drop off." Never accept a sleeping or groggy child into your care. If they're in the midst of a medical emergency, you could be liable. And that could be the end of your career as a day care provider.

3 hours late for pick up because of car trouble. . . apparently they have no contacts in the entire region who could have come to pick this child up.

Issues of licensed hours and abandonment aside. . . that's a $180 fee by my reckoning. I charge a dollar a minute, no negotiation.
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Old 01-11-2018, 06:10 PM
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On the plus side. . . think of all the lessons you're learning at the same time instead of gradually as you deal with only-slightly-horrible families. This will save you a lot of suffering further down the road!

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Old 01-12-2018, 04:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarenewbie View Post
Started a new child after christmas break, first warning sign was her being dropped off on New Years Day, despite my contract listing the days I'm closed...I let it slide because I had nothing planned and figured the little one could keep my daughter company.

Well, I was completely stuffed up with a cold and it wasn't until my husband came home from picking us up coffees that he pointed out our house reeked of cigarette smoke, and it seemed to be coming off the little one, her diaper bag, and her blanket from home

I stripped her down, washed everything and stuck some dryer sheets in her diaper bag, trying not to judge. We are a non smoking home and are very sensitive to smell. However frustration mounted when mom had car trouble and wasn't able to come until 7:30pm. My hours are 7-4:30pm...but I made excuses, we've all been there with car troubles!

The next day when my regulars came back from vacation the parents also noted the smoke, I was neutral and told them I'd talk it over with the new little one's parents.

The parents deny they smoke I just really really doubt this, as each day her clothing, her body, and her things just absolutely reek again and so do the parents now that I have an unstuffed nose. It doesn't help that the little girl is not on a schedule, she is allowed to stay up until 10pm and is delivered here sleeping everyday in the morning until the time when most kids are just going down for nap so these last 2 weeks have been beyond stressful.

Anyways, add to the fact they have been late every single day, still citing car troubles and new job times, I feel I need to terminate and swiftly.

What's a nice way to do this? In my contract I do have to give them 2 weeks notice and will honor that but I'm honestly dreading when they ask me why and I have to list off the reasons...
I had a family that only made it one week here and they weren't even that bad.
Mom and dad weren't on the same page. Mom was resentful with dad she wanted to work her career and not have to worry about the kids anymore. Dad was clueless and down right neglectful to his children. He dropped off to me each day dirty the 18 month old in a ****ty diaper, every single morning! Diaper bag had like 2 diapers in it for a 9 hour period! They showed up late to pick up each day(usually 10 minutes to 20). Last straw was that Friday I needed to be off on time and they showed up almost an hour late. I termed right then and there. I do not want your money. Please go away quickly.
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Old 01-12-2018, 06:40 AM
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Its Friday I would give notice today.If you do not have a trial period already then I would institute one today.It would explain the trial period of two weeks .In that time provider or parent can get out of contract with no notice.Give them the 2 weeks and state any late pick-ups or arriving not ready for the day will be automatic term.I would term with 2 weeks notice with that stipulation.Good Luck.
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Old 01-12-2018, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Pestle View Post
On the plus side. . . think of all the lessons you're learning at the same time instead of gradually as you deal with only-slightly-horrible families. This will save you a lot of suffering further down the road!

Yes! When I read posts like the OP, the main problems isn't really the dcf: it's the provider, who doesn't (yet) know how to protect herself.
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Old 01-12-2018, 01:28 PM
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Ditto BlackCat.

Just tell them that they're not a good fit for your program and care is terminated effective immediately. If they ask for details just repeat that they're not a good fit for your program. Anything else they can try to argue with (But we were new and didn't know and you took her anyway... But I had car trouble... But she won't sleep at home, But we don't smoke...)
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