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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here. |
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Families Not Prepared For Attending Daycare
I have logged out for privacy. I have been doing licensed daycare for over 15 years. But lately, I keep getting families that just aren't working out. Either the family is not prepared for blending into a group setting, the parents don't want their clothes dirty, or the parents want all sorts of special treatment for their child. I used to have families that worked out perfectly and never had problems getting and keeping kids for years. But lately, I have been going through kids every couple of weeks.
It seems like every new family I get lately is simply not prepared to handle going to daycare. I had a mom who breastfed. She knew that she was going to go out to work and not be a stay at home mom. She wanted to provide breast milk in bottles for daycare. Which is perfectly fine with me. But she never had anyone else other than the father and aunt (only for 2 days) feed the baby (3 months old) before attending daycare. So of course, the baby would not take the bottle from me. The baby would go all day long without eating at all! I watched the baby for a few days and called the mom each day to get her to pick up early to feed her baby. I simply couldn't bring myself to let the baby go all day without eating. After a couple of days, I told the mom that I couldn't keep watching the baby because he wouldn't eat. I had a mom who raised her 1 year old to sleep all day and be up all night. Her sister decided that she needed to get a job and put the child in daycare. So they went from having the child sleep all day to being in daycare and me keeping her up all day ( except for naptime after lunch). They are mad at me because the child falls asleep at dinner time. I told them that they have to give the child time to adjust to a new sleeping pattern. They just fussed at me about her being tired. I have had a few kids lately whose parents allow them to drink and eat all throughout the day at home. So when they come for the interview, I tell them that their child will not be allowed to do so here and that their child will be served their breakfast, lunch, and snack and that after meal time, the food and drinks will be cleared away. They will not be allowed to constantly drink and eat here. So the parents, after a few days are fussing at me because their child is hungry and thirsty when they go home. Of course they are! First of all, they are used to nibbling and drinking CONSTANTLY all day long (which is not healthy for them) and secondly, the child had snack at 3. The parents pick up at 5:30 and get home around 6 (3 hours after snack) so of course the child is going to be hungry and thirsty when they get home. I have had parents who throw a fit if their child gets a speck of dirt on their clothes or skin their knee on the sidewalk. The children are supposed to be able to play outside. Which includes running and occasionally falling on the sidewalk which results in a skinned knee. They play outside in the grass area which also has dirt under the grass, so, when the child falls or sits down, they are going to occasionally get a grass stain and/or dirt on their clothes. But the parents flip out over these things! Then there's the families that want special treatment. Things such as 'can you write down everything he eats and drinks, every time you change a diaper/every time he goes to the bathroom and note whether he peed or pooped, which children he played with and what things he played with, he will tell you when he's hungry and thirsty, so just feed him and give him drinks whenever he lets you know he needs them, he likes this food and doesn't like that food, if you serve him a meal and he says he doesn't like it or doesn't eat enough, you can just ask him what he wants you to make to replace what he didn't want to eat, here's his special blanket he has to carry around with him all day, and I want you to make sure no one else touches it or he will get upset, I want him to watch television/I don't want him to watch television, etc. And of course, there's the parents that coddle their children obsessively up to the age 5! The parent babies their child so much that the child literally emotionally can't handle leaving mommy and daddy. The child cries throughout the day for weeks for the parents because they are used to being held, coddled, and doted on all day and night by their parents. The parents have told me that one or the other is constantly entertaining, holding, sitting with, laying down for naptime and bedtime with the child or the child sleeps in the bed with the parents every night. I have actually had parents who tell me that they want me to lay down beside their child and rub their child's hair until he falls asleep! NOOO!!! I can NOT lay down beside your child!!! It just seems like the parents think I am a personal nanny or something. And it is obvious that their child rules the house at home and they expect me to allow their child to rule the daycare! These are the types of families I have gotten in the past year or so. I used to get families that were prepared to enter a group daycare setting and the families would stay with me for years. However, in the past year or so, I haven't been able to get many families that are ready to enter daycare. Do any of you get families like these? Do you keep them in your care? Do you make special changes as per their requests? Or do you basically tell them that they might not be a good fit for your childcare and let them go elsewhere? |
#2
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Yes, I am having those issues also, after 22 years of providing childcare I am seeing a lot of new things.
I also have a dcm that did not get her child ready for daycare with bottles. She brought him to me at 9 mos thinking that me pouring the milk into his mouth out of a sippy with no stopper would work out just fine. And then she is all worried that he is not getting enough milk during the day. Well, no kidding! I told her to get him used to a bottle. The worst part is that I am not bonding with the child at all because neither one of us are enjoying this pouring/gulping routine. Why couldn't she just get him used to a bottle??? I also have kids bringing TONS of junk they need to soothe themselves. Like not one blanket but two blankets, and teddy bears and all this other junk they do not need. And when did 3yos stop being able to get their own shoes and coats on? Kids are just so coddled and babied anymore it's a wonder they can breathe on their own! |
#3
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No, they don't get special. I tell them how I run my daycare and explain that my house, my rules, my schedule and they have to blend into that. If they want special they can hire a nanny. I really think the interview process weeds out a lot of these problem families. Of course it's not 100% but it's pretty close. |
#4
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Welcome to today's parenting.
Yes, I get families like this too. I simply make sure I am clear about my rules and expectations and then hold the parents to them. If they leave over it, then they leave. I know that sucks sometimes because that means loss of income but honestly my own values, ethics and morals do NOT allow for me to continue being part of something I simply don't believe in or don't support. I will NOT cater to one child and/or one family. Best case scenario, ALL providers will feel the same and eventually the family that suffers from this kind of entitlement learns that not everyone feels that they are "special". Worst case scenario, another provider will take them and bend or cave to their special requests....which does nothing to help teach the family that they aren't the only ones on this earth, but I guess that's ok with me because they aren't MY problem...kwim? The interviewing process is THE biggest aspect of my program. In my opinion it sets the stage right up front for what my working relationship with a family will or won't be. If the family makes it through the interview and the two week trial period, it is usually all good after that. Hang in there. Daycare is changing. Parenting is changing. Human beings are changing. You have two choices. Adapt methods and ways of dealing with these issues or cave and just accept it as it is. I choose to adapt and find ways to deal so that I can still get up and go to work every day with some like or willingness towards my job. ((((hugs)))) |
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I do go over it all during the interview. My interview is at least an hour. Typically up to 2 hours. I am overly informative about all my rules, ways of operating my daycare and our routine. Often, the parents will tell me how they are at home and I tell them on the interview how I will handle that situation at daycare. For example they will tell me the child is allowed to eat and drink whenever they want. So I will tell them on the interview that their child will get food and drink only at meal time here and then the food and drink will be picked up and they have to wait for the next meal to be served. Except when it is really hot and we are outside, then I allow them water throughout the time we are outside and when we come back inside we get a drink.
But even though we discuss everything at the interview, when the child is going through the adjustment period getting used to my way vs. the parents way, the parents get mad and won't give the child or themselves the time needed to adjust. |
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For instance, on breasted babies. I explain they have to have them bottle trained before starting. And I make them prove that to me at interview. I'll require a second interview and ask them to bring a bottle and the baby and I'll ask them to prove it. Another for instance, if they tell me they lay down with their child for naps, that's a red flag. If parents have a lot of red flags at interview, they may not be the right fit for my program. |
#7
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"Sally, this is all stuff we discussed during the interview. ALL things you said you understood and agreed to. I am not understanding what the issue is now?" Then leave the ball in their court. IF they continue to complain, offer them two choices.....find care that will cater to their needs or you will happily raise their rate so you can hire an assistant to meet their requests. Interviewing definitely helps weed out the ones who aren't a good fit but a lot of them (especially the ones who agree but then don't do it) slip through and in those cases, you really just have to be upfront and open... I do that by calling them out on what they agreed to and are now complaining about. I also ask them for a solution...I NEVER offer one myself. The minute they say "well give him food whenever he wants" I say, "Sure! But I'll have to hire someone to supervise the other kids who want their own special schedule too and that means raising rates for everyone. I'll do this tomorrow okay?" If raising rates is ALWAYS the answer, you'll be amazed at how fast they begin to see things from your perspective and adjust. |
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At least I now know it's not just me. I keep wondering why parents like this are drawn to me. But I guess it's not just me that gets parents like this.
I typically tell the parent that I will wean the child into my way of doing things, but the parents just won't allow the adjustment period and I lose the child or I realize that it will take too long for the family to adjust and I stop watching the child. Yeah, I have been noticing that more and more parents are allowing the children to give the orders at home and the parents do whatever makes the kids happy. They are in for a real shock once their child goes to kindergarten or 1st grade! I have read lately about the large amounts of children that are expelled/kicked out of daycare nowadays. So I should realize that it's not just me. |
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I think I will stop taking families that have too many differences in raising children from the way I do. I have told a handful of parents on interviews that I think they would be better with a nanny going to their house or figuring out a way for the mom to stay home with their child because they have so many special requests. I guess I will have to tell that to more families.
For the parents that I think might work, if problems like this arise, I could tell them that I will dote on their child as long as I can get my assistant to work full time, which would require me raising the rate and see what happens. |
#12
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Thank you all for discussing this with me. I really was getting discouraged, but I feel a lot better now.
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Yep, that's another thing. Some parents are trying to get me to accept the amount of pay I made 15 years ago! I understand that the economy is not in it's best condition, but I certainly deserve to make more than I made 15 years ago.
I have also noticed that while a parent is trying to get me to accept a much lower rate for child care, they have their nails done, perfect hair style, drive a nice car, their clothes and their kid's clothes are designer clothing, they have an I-phone, etc. I guess they can afford more upscale unnecessary items if they don't pay the typical rates for the necessary items in life. |
#15
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You know what? I feel sorry for all the fictional nannies we all keep hiring...
Not kidding, though. I was a nanny once years ago for a wonderful family. Can you imagine being one now? Getting all the daycare rejects? I'd like to hear from some "center people" about the whole rocking to sleep and schedule thing. We in the family daycare business all seem to get frustrated with it. How are we supposed to manage multiple children on different schedules with one person? But, how about center folks? Do you rock babies? Let them sleep on their own personal schedule? Am I niave' in thinking that in a center, you work an 8 hour day and get a lunch break? Maybe even administrative time to do lesson planning? Is there a cleaning staff? 90% of family providers don't do "no nap" care, and try to get everyone on a consistent schedule (with exception to the littlest ones). So, if I put my foot down, I can guess that parents arent' going to the next FCC and getting what they want. I'm just curious about what a center would say. |
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I had a mom who seemed like a great fit, until day 1 when she brought me a 2 page letter with instructions on what to do and not to do... I don't just pop the kids in front of the TV but I have 3 boys who LOVE Mickey Mouse so once in awhile we watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or if its a holiday they usually have a special 1 hour episode we'll watch. So this 11 month old could NOT be around TV AT ALL!! Yes, she even underlined and exclamationed it. She saw that I run my DC in my home mainly in the living room, which has a LARGE TV in it, dining room, kitchen area and back yard. She didn't think to ask me something during my interview that seemed SO important to her? I don't usually bring it up because none of my other DCPs have had a problem with the occasional Disney Jr or Sprout show. This mom was super high maintenance and I'm glad she ended up quitting her job and staying home. They were too much for me! I had another mom who wasn't ready to go back to work, and also quit her job to stay home after almost the exact same time frame as the parents above, about 6wks. Such a waste of my time!
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#17
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Also- I don't negotiate pay. I find it extremely rude. I may offer a discount if say they come FT or want to pay monthly in full, but I won't discount for the sake of parents saving money at my expense. No thanks!
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#18
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The centers I consulted for had to pull out all the rockers because the conflict over who got to sit and rock babies was a constant battle. It's common for parents to want one to one. It's common for babies to want one to one. It's common for staff to want to get by with doing one to one. It's difficult to find a business who is being paid a group rate to offer one to one. Staff want to use motion equipment and don't want to move the baby out of it until the baby cries. If no one is watching they will.
__________________
http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare |
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#21
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Heidi,
You asked to hear from center folks... I have worked in 3 centers. What they did was everyone in the entire center from age 1 and up slept the for the exact same nap time - right after lunch from 12-3. Every room played music the entire duration of nap time to lull and keep the children asleep. If a child didn't want to sleep, a teacher or aid patted their back until they fell asleep. On the very slim occasion that a teacher couldn't pat a child to sleep and they became noisy or moved around too much, they were sent to the office. Sometimes the assistant director/director would give the child a speech and send them back to class to take their nap, if it was obvious that the child was definitely not going to go to sleep, the child would stay in the office. But that almost NEVER happened. It was expected that the teacher/aid would pat the child to sleep no matter how long it took them. The little babies under age 1 were encouraged to stay awake until the 12:00 naptime. Of course sometimes they would fall asleep while in the swing or being held/fed. However, they were NEVER put in the crib to sleep until the 12:00 nap time. The teacher/aid would let the baby sleep for a very short time and then wake them up and then make them sleep at the 12:00 naptime by patting them. If a baby under age 1 was crying too much, someone would put the baby in a stroller and take them for a walk in the building or get someone in the office (the director/assistant director) hold the baby, or take the baby to the other baby room and have that teacher or aid hold the baby for a while. With the older children ages 1 and up (to age 12), if there were any problems such as disturbing the class, fighting with the other kids, not listening to the teacher, anything that made it so the teacher was having a bit of trouble dealing with the child, the teacher would 'pass that child around the building'. They would go to the office for a while, or to another classroom, or go on a walk up and down the hallways with a teacher/aid/assistant director/director/cook. Basically, if any child plucked the teacher's nerve, they were passed all around the building to all the employees. They also NEVER kicked any child out of the daycare center. No matter how bad the child was, how many times the child was kicked out of their classroom for any reason, how much the child hated being in that daycare, or how much the child cried even if they cried all day long every day, they NEVER told the parent that the child had any problems. (You know, so they kept that income coming in!) Every day, at the end of the day, every child was in their correct classroom and when the parent picked the child up, every teacher/aid/director/cook told the parent that their child had a GREAT DAY! This is part of why I quit working there. Also, keep in mind that the rooms were big enough that the teacher and aid could hang out in one side of the room chatting with each other and not even know that the kids were arguing/fighting/getting toys taken from them, etc. If a child came up and told on someone for something, the child was told to stop tattling and told to go play. So for the most part, the teachers weren't really bothered by the kids. See, we, at home daycare are one person trying to do the job of up to 10 people. That center had a teacher and aid in each age group, a cook, a cleaning lady, a "floater" (a person that can relieve any teacher/aid for lunch, bathroom breaks, etc.) a finance manager, assistant director, and director plus a couple of substitutes for the teachers and aids. Now, we do have less kids, so we don't need as many teachers and aids. However, overall, we are trying to do the job of multiple people. This is why I truly loved it when I had a full time assistant every day at my home daycare. I feel that I need to have time to be the director and place daycare ads, hold interviews, evaluate my daycare and come up with new ideas on how to improve my daycare, time to be the cook, as I do cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my children every day, time to be the cleaning lady, time to be the teacher, it would be nice to have a "floater" to relieve me at nap time so I could REALLY get a lunch break instead of having to work with whoever wakes up during nap. So, us home providers are worn out because we are doing the work of MANY people every day, all day long! |
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Thanks! You know I'm FCC, right? I have never worked in a center, although I have had my kids in 2 for short periods. Your answer was what I expected for most centers, to be honest (not all). |
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Heidi,
Yes, I know you are a family provider. I am too, have been for 25 years. But I have also worked in 3 centers about 5 or so years ago. When I moved back to Maryland from Florida. At first, I thought I would try to go out to work instead of opening my daycare again. But within a few months decided that I would much rather run my home daycare. While I was working on getting my new home daycare license, I went out to work at the centers. So I have an insider's view of both home daycare and daycare centers/preschools. |
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#25
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We do work 9 hr days with a lunch break and we use nap time and/or home time to do lesson plans. We also use nap time to clean. But it seems like I spend more time wiping down than playing with my kids. I will say though that teachers have control of their class. If a parent comes in with a crazy request, we take it to the Director. If the request can't be accommodated, then we have the the right to say no. Such as no nap or Susie's to sick to go out side. |
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Somethings are easier for us because of a bigger staff but I envy you for being able to pick and choose who you allow in your home. |
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The schedule is for me. I need it. I have a lot of experience and I know what it takes to get all of us thru the day, week, month, year. I know what's best in my home... in my group. I don't expect parents to understand. They have one kid and five minutes of experience. They don't take care of other people's kids. I do.
__________________
http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare |
#28
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I strongly believe that kids (people of all ages, actually) should have access to water ALL. DAY. LONG. At their fingertips whenever they want it. I have a dedicated cup per child per day that has their name on it, and I keep it filled the entire time they are present. They are welcome to grab it and drink their water whenever they please. Do you feel that kids should only drink at snack and lunch? I'm not criticizing, but I read that and couldn't overlook it. And I hear you loud and clear on certain parents not 'getting' the concept of group care. I've had moms of potty training kids ask me to sit them on the potty every 20 minutes. Um... that would be no. There are many more examples similar to the ones you've mentioned. They just don't get it. |
#29
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In kindy they don't have a cup full of water at their disposal all day. And really, they don't need 100 oz of liquid all day either. I think it's awesome that you are sure yours get enough fluid, but personally it has been recommended to me that kids need boundaries, even with food and drink. Here's a time for it and a time they don't get it. Recommended fluid total intake a day for a healthy child is approximately 44 oz total per day. That includes water found in the food they eat, as well as water in heir milk etc. our pediatrician recommends milk for meals and water for snacks with plain water intake of 8-12 oz per day. Unless they are sick, etc. they get 8-12 oz of water at snack times so no extra is needed unless it's hot outside or they are sick. Also, my son, if he gets too much water, simply won't eat. If I had a cup sitting around for every child I'd have a germ fest. I'd spend all day keeping x cup away from y and oh no, did I turn my back and another kid slobbered on y cup. Not to mention spills etc. I think it just teaches them instant gratification and they don't have to wait for anything. But kudos to those who do that though!! |
#30
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Trust me, we don't drink 16 ounces, let alone 100. I realize you were exaggerating lol. But that's one of the reasons I have the water out at all times. They don't drink enough! I should add that my DC kids are ages 5-10, but I have always had cups ready and available for 2+ (sippy cups until I feel they're ready to move on up). And they cannot move it from where it lives. I put them on the end cap of my kitchen counter. They drink there, and put the cup back in its spot. I don't know.... I just feel like it's a basic need, ya know? I would never withhold it. I've never had a parent ask me to limit water, but I've had many, many, many ask me to push or encourage it. |
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#32
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http://themetzfamilyadventures.blogs...-my-world.html
I saw this and thought of this thread and some of the responses on it. |
#33
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Our licensing guidelines require that children must have access to water at all times- either that they can get themselves or to be able to ask for it and get it whenever they want.
We do not allow them to walk around w/ food or drinks though.They have to drink sitting at the table. When they are done we clear the drinks and they can ask again if they are thirsty again before meal time. At meals we serve milk and at snacks water. |
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#35
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I don't deny them their needs. Kids don't need to drink liquids all day long. They do need adequate fluids, healthy food, and a safe, healthy environment. And I provide them with that. But as I explain to parents, it's not my job to raise their kids for them. It's not my job to perform 100% of their potty training responsibilities. It's not my jobs to teach them all of my moral and Christian values. That's their job as a parent. It's not my job to be the only one who takes them out doors and it's not my job to parent them at all. If my parents tell me their kids need to drink more water, I'd say "that's a great idea and activity you can do with the at home" Don't get me wrong here. These kids here are in care for 8 hours. They get 100% of their fluid requirements in that period. It's the parents job to take care of hem the other 16 hours in that day. I assume they can give hem some water at home too |
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#37
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I have long-term families (12 yrs, 10 yrs, 8 yrs, etc.), so we discuss the kids' well being just like I would if I were talking to my sister about her kids. A mom might say, "Joey just isn't a water drinker! Can you help him to remember to drink?" And I would fully know that they are doing the same at home. You've heard about that "village"? I live there. Again, I wasn't criticizing the OP or you. And I'm not trying to change anybody's mind here. Just sayin' ....... (Sorry, OP. I didn't mean to hijack your post!) |
#38
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My licensing regs say that children should have access to water, but I always just defined access as asking for water and having it available. I can always tell when the younger ones are thirsty because they hang out by the gate that leads to the eating area.
My kids have a drink at 8:30- 9:00 with breakfast, 11:30-12:00 at lunch, and then 3:30 at snack (they are napping between lunch and snack. So they never go long at all without a drink. They are served milk at meals, and have water for refills, and drink water at snack. They don't have access to their cups at all times, but if they ask - they are more than welcome to them. |
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#40
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With the number & ages of kids I have. I would worry about cups sitting out all day. I know some of my toddlers would drop theirs on the floor, and then it would be picked up by someone else. Plus, we don't take a bite or a sip, outside of the eating area (other than bottles, of course), so I wouldn't want cups in the play area. Not saying anything about other providers who have cups out. Just that I think with my kids, and their ages, it wouldn't be feasible. |
#41
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Of course, if they are sick or need more fluid due to a med theya re on etc, different story entirely. |
#42
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Mine have their names on them, and always, always sit in the exact same spot on the end cap of my kitchen counter, which is where the eating table is, as well. With new kids, or younger kids, I do monitor that they don't take the wrong cup. And I don't do non-lid cups until I'm convinced they won't spill. Usually age 4, maybe even 5. But if an accident happens, it's water, so no real harm. I actually can't remember ever mopping up a spill, though. And I'm going on 20 years.
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#43
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I certainly admire you though. I can tell you care about the munchkins!! |
#44
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I do not give in to their special requests, or allow them them to change my policies, like not paying for holidays,absences, paying after care, lower my fees, they go back to the grandparents, where care is free.I get special requests like letting them watch their favorite show, baby can read videos for infants etc. I have an interview tomorrow for an infant, I only work with 0-5, and I'm fearing it, I'm losing my confidence am I'm tired of hearing the same story over and over again and waist my time interviewing parents that don't really need care, they say one thing over the phone interview and when they get here the story and hours needed changes all the time. Don't take me wrong I have been in this business over ten years and done very well,rarely encountered this problems before, I have plenty of experience and I attend college and hundreds of workshops, none of that matters to this parents, they only care about the bottom line $. I'm organized and a business person and I love children, what else can I do? You are not alone, business it's good for some and pretty bad for others right now. There are times when I feel like giving in and just lower my fees and do whatever they ask , but no, i know that I can't do that, and at the moment I have zero kids so thats also a problem for some, they want to see kids. I wish that I could have a good answer for you but I don't, I have been trying to figure out whats going on myself. One thing i've done is to up my fees in my effort to avoid these type of parents. The last client I had left because she wanted her child, a one year old to be around more children, so she went to day care that had twelve kids, and the one coming tomorrow left her current day care because they have too many kids, or at least that is her story for now. What gives? .... |
#45
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A while ago, I tried leaving cups of water out for the children. It made me have to spend my entire day monitoring and refilling cups of water! The kids obviously weren't really thirsty, they just kept wanting to go back and forth to the cups on the counter to take sips constantly and began running games to see who could get there faster. They would often drink from someone else's cup - which made it so I had to constantly monitor the cups. They also went through 2-3 cups of water for each child per day which made me have to constantly fill up the cups. And of course, from drinking water constantly all day long, they were also spending half the day going to the bathroom!
My basic routine is breakfast 9am (including a drink), circle time, educational activities morning snack 10:30am(including a drink), free-play, educational activities, lunch 12pm(including a drink), nap, snack 3pm(including a drink), free-play, and, if the child is here after 6:00, dinner 6pm (including a drink). Trust me, the children are getting plenty of drinks throughout the day with their meals. They really should not need a drink in between meals here. I have worked in 3 daycare/preschool centers. The water fountains were in the hallway. I honestly can only remember 1 time when one child asked to get water during class time. It simply didn't happen. The kids just waited for meal time. |
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the water problem is that even thou we have it all available, it doesn't mean a child needs to keep gulping it down all.day.long. I would have kids who would then flood their diapers and would never eat because they would be full of water. Its called balancing it out.
I have found that its all about the parents now. Parents going on vacation by themselves, having days off by themsleves, going to the grocery store by themselves. I'm finding that children are suppose to be there for show but thats it. |
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I am required to offer FRESH drinking water if a child wants it. ANYTIME.
I am NOT allowed to leave cups of water sitting out. When someone takes a sip or drink from their cup (especially a covered or sippy type cup) bacteria gets into the water. Even if it is the child's own germs it is still not something we are advised to do. Like Blandino, I interpret our rules as water being available meaning I will not deny a child water if he asks or indicates he wants some. |
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I do agree that modern parents are unprepared for group care. But in their defense, it is VERY common for parents these days to have no experience with children before having a child and most families have only one or two kids. The very nature of their home life is in exact opposition to group care. They have no perspective to base off of to gain an understanding of group care for babies to preschool age. WE providers are the ones that have to teach them that before the little ones go to school. I have had so many first time parents and one child homes since beginning daycare so I am not at all surprised by the confusion from parents when their child is not the prince/princess of the daycare. That is why I enjoy working for teachers. They understand the dynamics of group care.
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this thread has brought up a lot of items.
Parents today- yes, I do not think they are prepared for leaving their children in childcare. (a larger number are not prepared to be parents!) Issues I have been having lately. Lack of disciplining of their princesses at home. They do not want to grow their children up! They keep their bottles, binks, and diapers foreeevveeerrrr! They don't want their kidos wiping their own bottoms. They carry 4 yr olds that are almost as big as they are! They do not teach them to do things for themselves but they want them to know all their letters and start to read but they can't wipe their own bum or put on their own jacket! Water- I do not leave cups out either- believe me I have to not sit my cup anywhere where kids can reach because the twins will grab it and drink (even coffee!) I give them milk with meals. I keep dixie cups for in between water. During the winter- not as much water. In the summer a lot more water. Whenever we come in from outside I offer water. We drink and toss the cups. Even my 1 yr olds can drink water from a dixie cup. |
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They are not allowed to remove their cup from the area... just stand there, take their drink, and then put it down. When I have younger ones, they use lid cups. All cups are placed in the exact same spot every single time. They have the cup for that whole day, then a clean one the next day. And no, their OWN germs are not harmful to them lol. |
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I haven't read all of the posts, yet, so I don't know if anyone mentioned this. The main problem I have had with new infants in the last few years is them not being able to nap in a crib. The parents let them nap in a swing. Since it's usually a year or two in between starting young babies, I somehow forget to discuss this ahead of time.
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I don't think it is a big deal at all. But we were told that the bacteria that begins to form IS harmful to them. Their germs might not be, but the bacteria from their mouths is. I'll see if I can find the sheet they gave us or a link I can post. |
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GET. OUT! |
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That was my face when I read that! |
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I don't know if it's because I have moved to a different area or what, but I have noticed that daycare providers don't get the same respect as an experienced professional as we did years ago.
Years ago, parents never questioned my ways of operating my business, working with the children, feeding the children, nap times, etc. And they often asked me for advice and my opinion because they knew that I had years of experience and education in the field of child care. But now, I have young 20 year olds telling me what to do and how to do things with children. I just keep looking at them and saying that I have owned a licensed childcare for 25 years, have taken 26 years worth of child care classes and have raised about 100 or so children between the ages of 6 weeks and 12 years old. I truly believe that I know how to do my job! |
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Last edited by christine19720; 11-12-2013 at 01:34 PM. Reason: Double sentence |
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I've been thinking more about this water issue, so I looked it up on a couple sites.
http://www.eatright.org/kids/article.aspx?id=6442470651 and http://www.healthykids.nsw.gov.au/ki...rink-kids.aspx They suggest 1 liter of water per day for 4 to 8 year olds. That's two of those 16.9 ounce bottled waters you buy at the store. I would estimate that during the time they are at my house on a no-school day, they probably drink equivalent to one of this size bottled water. (Some days more, some days less.) They are here anywhere from 8 to 10 hours, and they are at home (awake) about 4 or 5 hours. So I have them DOUBLE the time their parents do, but they only drink HALF of what is recommended for their bodies. I read on here all the time that certain providers insist on serving only organic foods, only homemade meals, only healthy foods, no sugary snacks, veggies at every lunch, etc., etc. They do this because it's what's healthy for the kids. They do this because many (let's face it -- MOST) of the kids are not fed in a healthy manner at home. They insist on this for the kids' sake. It's what's best FOR THE KIDS. They wouldn't have it any other way. So what I can't figure out is, if some of you are willing to take the extra time and cost to provide this, even if the parents don't, then I can't reconcile why the next logical step wouldn't be to encourage the water that is also so important for good health and well-being. Disclaimers: *Don't yell at me. *I'm not criticizing in the least. *I'm just bringing up a topic that strikes my interest at the moment. *I welcome and respect any thoughts that are different than mine. *I acknowledge that I currently have ages 5-10, and that most of you have youngers. But I provide all-day-available sippies for youngers too, when I have them. *No, they don't walk around with water. It stays put, but is always available. *I acknowledge that the posters above who say that water is only for snack time may or may not be the same as the organic/homemade/healthy-only lunch people, but I brought that up because it's what I read on here a lot, and I couldn't reconcile that with not encouraging water. *This is just a talking point. I don't claim it to be THE perfect answer by any means. *Don't yell at me. *I acknowledge that I said 'don't yell at me' twice. |
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No yelling needed. Just as I said my previous posts. |
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I leave water out on the table for them, but I will say they are typically drunk in a single shot, then refilled an hour or so later. If for some reason they are not, when the first kiddo asks for more, I scoop up all the cups, rinse and refill.
I guess that sort of puts me in the middle. As to drinking from other's cups, they just don't. And they are WAY more protective of their cups than I am. If someone else even touches their cup, they are all over it. |
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When I had water avalible, I had kids drinking from the wrong cups (on purpose ) kids spitting water all over (on purpose ) kids gargling with water (again, on purpose )
So if a child comes to me mid morning and claims thirst, I will pour a little water in a cup and they have to sit right with me while drinking it. I've also noticed kids claiming thirst in order to get out of activities they don't like - kids who want to come inside after a couple of minutes, or who want to get out of cleaning up. Just like anything else, I do try to hold a child off when I strongly suspect the motive isn't thirst, just as I wouldn't feed them lunch at 10:30 because they say they are hungry. |
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But I would have said very seriously "duh, it's three scoops of formula for every two ounces of water" and then watch them |
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my seasoned parents don't even question me, heck sometimes I have to question them. but its true, its the younger parents that just make me shake my head (ok, some are really good) but for the most part I just can't comply what they want.
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Or I could have said "please show me, I don't know how to read the can and I fed my own two kids whole milk at birth so I've never made formula"
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well I have to say after reading through this thread I'm glad its not just me. I feel like I am so old saying "parents today" - I'm "only" 40. But its so true, in the last 5 years or so the dynamics of parents have changed so much. The not saying "no" to kids is the worst. I had a parent who's child had a meltdown in my driveway because I didn't put a sticker on his daily sheet that day - wouldn't you know the very next day she bought a pack of stickers to keep in her car for him. REALLY? How about just telling your child no, that you can't expect something every single day, when you get one its a treat?? Now I just stopped doing it entirely.
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I have a family who's cat died in late September/early October. Passed away while child was in care. Parents are choosing to NOT tell the child because they don't want the child to be upset. Child is 3.5 yrs old. So when the child asks about the cat, where is the cat etc...they say "Oh, I don't know. He must be outside chasing mice or something. He'll probably come in later on." ANYTHING to redirect and deflect. Then the mom tells me that they are even keeping the cat's food and water dish out so the kid doesn't catch on. I'm sorry but |
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I blame the "parents today" vents on the internet. Every time a new parent has any kind of question they take to the internet. As we all know "if it's on the internet it must be right" . In the my day (I can't believe I just said that) new parents relied on their mothers, grandmothers or other people with more experience to help them when they needed it. |
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Dcp's of mine just successfully replaced my 4.5yo dcg's hamster with one that looked the same. Dcg does NOT understand why tootie bites her now! Seriously, just tell her it died and bury it. Allow them to mourn small losses so that big ones aren't as hard! |
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I told my DD that her fish died because she didn't clean her room. (She was probably 6.) Now she has kind of an OCD about her room being clean.... Ooopsie Yeah about the cat....I heard that pets dying in early childhood is THE BEST thing that can happen so you can teach your child about death so when it happens to a grandparent or something they have already built somewhat of a grasp about the subject. |
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we had to give our cat away and I told my 2 year old immediately, as well as the other kids. but the 2 year old was the most attached to the cat. I am not going to lie to my own kids or keep them from having opportunities to learn to cope with disappointment. nor am I filling a food and water bowl every day if i dont have to. my word, parents today! ugh |
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I think of my own self- grocery shopping four bags and over a hundred dollars, and those bags are not full. Cell phone bill- phone used to cost about ten a month, now we are talking hundreds Taxes always going up Mortgage, car payment. Heat ...... its a killer and we are still colder then we should be at our home. Electric credit cards health coverage schooling misc. wages don't go up enough to cover the cost of everything else going up I am not whining, but just saying most people are just looking to make it these days. You would think that childcare would be a # 1 or right up there, we are taking care of the most valuable asset. Negotiating fee's is not an option. I have to be able to make it too. |
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I won't say that center caregivers don't care and love the kids. I think many do. I just feel home providers don't have to go through so many loops of upper management and are more invested because they are the sole everything. |
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I think big name water bottling companies over push the need for water. Too much of anything is not good for a person. There is a push for drinking water and it makes me wonder why.......$ is the bottom line answer for this. I personally listen to my own body and go from there. Thanks for posting a different view it has been good reading even if I don't agree with you 100%- It's all good~ |
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If parents only knew what went through my head most of the time!!! |
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A little OT, but when I was a kid, I had a goldfish and one evening it died. I had to go to my girl scout meeting pretty soon and I got myself together and went and was having fun. Well, during the meeting, we always had a snack and I remember the snack helper putting it in front of me and looking down and yep, it was goldfish crackers So of course, I immediately started crying and my troop leader asked me what was wrong and I said "my goldfish died" and she said, "oh, no, no honey, these aren't REAL fish" |
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We need a "just spewed tea all over my screen" smilie! |
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Yes, absolutely. At the table for snacks and meals, they use a regular cup. I said sippy cup out of habit. I use those cups with lids where you slide back a covering over the hole where the water comes out. (Did that make sense? lol.. similar to an insulated travel mug I guess.)
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I dump and refill if it's been awhile. Clean water, ladies!! Trust me. So anyway, I'm pretty much done here. I'm water-logged. ETA: ...except for the next posting. Guess I lied... hee hee hee |
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new to daycare, parents - are clueless |
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