How does everyone balance family and daycare? I have a hard time with it. I spend all day taking care of 5 or 6 children including my 2 year old. When my two oldest kids come home from school I have 7 or 8. It don't have to tell anyone here how hectic it can get! By the time the last child leaves I am exhausted a frazzled to say the least, and I still have my 3 kids to care for and feed and get into bed. I feel like I have the job that never ends! At the end of the work day I don't leave my job I live in it! I have very little patience for my own kids because I'm just done by then. Its not fair to them and I don't know how to change that

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I'm working on this as well. The last thing I want to do when my DCKs leave is cook and clean let alone do something else or fun! And we have baseball season approaching!

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I am dealing with this as well. I feel like I am missing out more now then I did when I worked, but my biggest issue is trying to handle getting my kids to the doc, and dentist, and school parties without my husband always having to miss work or me having to close for the day and making parents mad.

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It is hard to work/live in the same place because there is no end. Plus I felt like I failed in the home and at daycare. I met a wonderful mentor several years ago that has REALLY helped me. Sometimes just from listening to me, but sometimes by telling me what I needed to do to make it better....like setting up my contract/policy to alleviate extra stresses (like closing earlier, setting time-constraints for clients, holidays, vacations), to restructure my room to fit home needs as well, to gain control of my business, etc. It wasn't easy at the time, and is much easier to tell someone than to do it. I now have a large room built onto the house which is wonderful, but I do feel your pain because daycare was for many years in the living room. I am an organizational person, but it was very difficult in the living room. Sit down, and write the pros and cons of your job. If the pros outweigh the cons, the sit down and decide what YOU can do/control to make it better for you and your family. Seek out support from this forum and possibly other providers in your area. I text, call, email every day with my mentor. Best of luck!

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I don't know either. I could never balance everything. I just always had way too many balls in the air and I'd juggle as fast as I could. Being so crazy busy all the time is what eventually burned me out I believe. I shut down in August and only watch one friend's boy Tu/Th and my granddaughter 3 days per week plus my 6 year old. And that's still a lot for a burned out momma.

All I ever could come up with was trying to pay someone to come clean the house and then that would have taken one thing off my list. That would be such a luxury! That still wouldn't fully balance things, but it could be a good start. I ran a small school though, I never had the money to hire anyone to clean.

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Thank you everyone. It is so hard! I would love more than anything to set up daycare in our basement since it is such a great space! However we need to install an exit first which will be very costly. I think that getting daycare out of our living space would greatly help, then at the end of the day I will actually "leave" work. The pros definitely out weigh the cons. I just have to figure out how to make it work. I need to set aside time specifically for my kids, not always easy with the few hours left to the day. Also I need to be sure parents pick up on time and then leave lol I currently have a mom with two children in my care and she lingers, cuddling and asking how their day was etc. This goes on for 15 minutes while I'm making hints like getting coats on and saying see you tomorrow to the kids. I realize parents miss their kids but at the end of the day I'm ready to be done and it cuts into my time. I feel bad, but she can cuddle them and ask about their day at home. I'm hoping this forum will if nothing else ease my mind a bit, knowing I'm not the only one!

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One of the best pieces of advice I ever got when I first ventured into this profession was to make CLEAR boundaries as to what MY job duties were and what the PARENT'S job duties were and then don't let them blur.

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We live in a small-ish house, and I had the same feelings as you, as my playroom is what would be the living room on the main level, right in the middle of our house. There was no escaping it...E V E R!!! Our basement is not walk-out, so it would have cost a small fortune to get it daycare-ready. So instead, we used that money to finish it into a really nice living space for our family. I also re-did my bedroom with new paint and paper, cleared out all clutter, and hung a nice big tv, so that's also a space I like to unwind in.

I really am a home-body, so I do love to be at home. Before I had some other nice spaces to go to, though, it seemed like I was constantly doing something for the daycare. Out of sight really can be out of mind!

It seems we all experience the same problems, like late pick-ups and the l..i..n..g..e..r..i..n..g parent. This forum is absolutely fantastic for ideas on how to deal with every problem that ever arises. Especially check out BlackCat and NannyD on their thoughts. Those two are so inspirational, and on the mark every time!

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This is exactly how I have felt. Some days are SO TOUGH!!! Recently, I decided I needed to cut down the number of kids that I am caring for. I am not running at licensed capacity. After all, I quit my job to do this in my home to benefit my family and spend time with my children. (Also because I really think God gave me a gift to work well with children.) The other day I looked around my living room and both of my children were in their bedrooms. When I went in to talk to them, my daughter said "it was too much chaos for her to handle". My son is 14 and has Asperger's so many times he will just cry because "mom, they're all talking at the same time". I felt bad for the families I had to let go but in the end my own children come first. This is their home. Their future rides on now and it rides on me. So for me, the cut back was the answer. The loss of income will hurt, but I’m not in it for the money. I am in it to impact each childs life in a positive manner on a daily basis. Although it is a daily struggle to “take up my cross ” and be who I was called to be, I think I can do it better when I have a lighter stress level. I also hired an assistant to come over when my kids or I have appointments. This can be a struggle in itself with scheduling conflicts and things, but so far it has also helped lighten my load.

I am blessed that I have a bi-level houses and I can use my basement for the “daycare space”. It helps a lot. It is a 20’ by 40’ space that my kids used to use as their play place. Now that they are all older they no longer need a play place.

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I know this sounds crazy, but I balance things out with my ex-husband and his wife. They have 2 kids together and he and I have 2 kids together. I watch their 2 babies full time and we all help each other out. For example, my sons step mom is taking him to the doctor right now, she was able to take off a couple of hours to take him.

I'm so thankful for what we have. My ex-husband is not a bad guy and we had a cordial divorce with 50/50 custody and we live about a mile and a half apart. He chose an amazing woman as his new wife and she has an amazing family that also helps out.

My life isn't perfect, but I feel blessed everyday by how much support I have and how much love my kids get. I'm not saying that you should get divorced, but it takes a village so feel free to ask for help from your kids friends' parents, etc.

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Same here. Before I opened, I made up my mind that I would have 2-3 part time kids and 3 full time and that's it. I have a 1.5 yo ds who is here too, so that adds one more "full" time and an 11yo dd who is here when there is no school, so to stay sane, I did it that way. Two days a week, I am (well will be starting Mon.) at capacity, but the other 3 days I'm not, and that really helps!

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Honestly, it is hard to balance work and family. During the week I don't go anywhere and if I do, it's a rare occasion! I have 4-6 kids here everyday and also my 1.5 yo ds and 11 yo dd(when there's no school and after school) so I know how you feel. The dc kids go home, then it's straight to cleaning, cooking, helping with homework, spending time with my own kids (if there's time before bed time), etc... It's hard. But I do try to have my dh help out and when he is here to do so, it's a huge help! Besides grocery shopping, I spend the weekends with my family. I try to remember that I opened my dc to stay home and allow my kids to be home too. It helps a little.

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That is so great! I really like that you and your ex and your significant other(s) can work so well together! That's rare.

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That's why I've chosen to keep my enrollment small. I have 3 children of my own, and I found that the minute I have more than 3 fulltime dck's here, I'm totally overwhelmed. Thankfully I can make that choice, between dh's income and our simple lifestyle. I fully understand that not everyone can make that work.

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I too decided to take 5 kids instead of 6, part of my "de-stressing plan". It definitely helps! That one extra kid is sometimes enough to send me over the edge some days, regardless of who it is! Then when my kids get home from school the stress level intensifies. One less kid eases some of this

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I think because you have kids you have left a part of yourself that you need to find again. Hubby or family member help you out, get out of the house do something for you, have something to look forward to doing. Find yourself and what makes you happy. Let little stuff go. Tone it down a bit and treat yourself the same way a working parent would and concentrate on your kiddo's and your home, turn off daycare and just be Mommy, Wife, yourself. Get out of the house for a bit, take a walk, go shopping, coffee shop whatever floats your boat. I know exercise has given me more energy to not be a coach potato come the end of the day when I am done daycare. Take turns with hubby on who's night it is to do most of the care with the kids. Three kids, take one and do something for some one on one. Just have to find your happiness. It would be not much different if you worked outside of the home, still the same stresses of being needed as a parent.
Best- and a hug for you

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Letting things go was hard for me. I am an OCD person so going to bed with all clothes/dishes washed and everything in order was the norm for me....WELLL, that has all changed. I now watch hoarders to feel better. Seriously, let things go. My sons and I go to jh and high school basketball games, play in the yard, walk in the afternoons, go to movies, have a movie night in pjs at home.....just anything to de-stress a little. My house is lived-in but no longer immaculate and that is OK with me. WE ARE MUCH HAPPIER!

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I need to work on this.

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you need to tell this parent. I had one of these and I just had to be blunt and help her to understand that unless I come to her with a problem the little has had a good day. They are not going to get a blow by blow when they start school. I had to tell this parent, I want my day to end too and as much as I love talking to you I need to make pick ups short so that I can get on with my family time. No your not the only one, but you have ways of fixing a lot of your issues.

Even when your daycare is outside of your home, you still have to go home to another set of duties- kind of can be like double duty. I suggest you ask your significant other to step up and help you out as much as possible so you don't head for burn out. Honestly tomorrow is another day. If you don't get something done the only person you have to explain yourself too is you. Learn to let little stuff go. Using your time wise is also a big help. Have the kids pick up 20 minutes before going home, take out an activity that can be picked up in no time as your saying by to the kids and parents.

This forum is a great help and someone mentioned having a mentor that is also a wonderful thing too-
Best-

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I always add this too, because it is so so so so so true!

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and sometimes it is not the extra kid but the kid itself and the personality. Knowing this helps- I had one that I hung onto, and my program is so much better now that I don't have that one kiddo. Not overly bad enough to term but just a button pusher and depleted my energy everyday. I had nothing left come the end of the day.

Best-

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This made me smile!

I had/have a hard time with this as well. As far as cleaning goes. I love to clean and find it a huge stress relief so that doesn't bother me. I do feel sometimes that I have so little to give my own DD's. I am very fortunate and thankful to have a husband that see's all the pro's and con's of having an in-home daycare. He is VERY supportive of me needing just 5 minutes at lunch and at the end of the day to have a mental break. He is often telling me to go do things on my own. Our dd's have admitted they feel like they come last sometimes when daycare is open. Yet, they both said that I am happier then when I was teaching full time, and they love having me home. I think balance comes with time and you will find what works best for you. I also go to bed by 8:30. Not always sleeping, but we use this time to cuddle with the dd's, I read, or watch Downton Abbey on my Kindle. When it's nice out I will sit on the deck with the kids till their bedtime etc.

I'm pretty much over parents getting upset about my dd's illness, dr. apt etc. If they don't like it then obviously my program won't be able to meet their needs. One more thing, I have 4 full time and 3 part time. Smaller numbers works best for me.

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I was like you last year. Totally exhausted. Never wanted to do anything on the weekend's because the week was so hard. My kids missed me terribly. We were all miserable.
In the end I realized I had too many kids. I worked too much. I switched to part time hours. I'm only open 3 days a week and now I have only two dcks.
This won't work for everyone, but perhaps just consider cutting out a difficult child, or closing a little earlier. Hire a helper, or a housecleaner. Or get take out a couple of times a week and try to relax and make family time special time.

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My kids also say that they love having me home and I am "nicer" lol I used to work 3 nights a week, leaving at 4pm and saturdays. I wouldn't see the kids all day on these days since they were in school (besides my now 2 year old). It was a stress in itself. Daycare is a different kind of stress.

I am working on not letting parents getting upset when I close early or take a day off get to me. After all, I have 3 kids who need to see the doctor and dentist as well as myself, and this needs to be done during normal daycare hours unfortunately. In the past I have cancelled or rescheduled many appointments to accommodate someone who "couldn't take time off", even with plenty of notice. Now I just tell them I am a mom first and my families needs come before daycare

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Yes, very true. I think what I mostly mean by getting daycare out of my home is that we can't really be free to live the way we want to live in a sense. The kids get into everything and I feel like I am constantly childproofing everyday. My family doesn't really get the fact that they can't just do what they want when they want and they leave stuff laying around, which I'm working on, but they get upset and say "but we live here!" So I think if daycare was in the basement that would help. Also that I feel like I live in a daycare and don't "go home" at the end of the day. So I think it would help in that area also. Thank you for the great advice!

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I don't have any suggestions besides what others have said. You can lessen the stress by cutting down the number of kids and hours you are working to the bare minimum.

other than that, I currently have four kids and four daycare kids and a full time school schedule. It is hard. but I have to find a way out of daycare. I cannot do this forever and I may return to work in as little as a year depending on finances. I can't wait! It helps for me to work towards a goal because otherwise, I would seriously be depressed changing diapers and dealing with parent drama day after day.

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