I am a registered user here, but don't want to post under my name, as i know my dcm has been known to float about here...just looking for advice.

let me start by saying that i REALLY like this family and we mesh well.
but with that being said. I don't open my doors until 6:30, but the parents only looked over my contract once and I am sure that they feel that we are such a great fit that it's ok to do this......

I overslept...i was up until 3:30 with my daughter who had a bellyache. I ment to get up on time at 5:30 but didn't wake up until 6:10. figuring that I would have at least enough time to get dressed, forget my coffee and just get ready for her to come.I am throwing on my clothes and my dog starts barking..I hear her banging on the door ..OMG..just hold on here, my bra doesn't want to clasp and did I mention my pants got to small over night :-P ....coming......

I get to the door and she brings in the 1 year old. she looks all flustered and annoyed. I apologized that i had just woken up and that I didn't hear her knocking at first. She says "well it snowed and I don't want to be late to work" bye...smile then on her face as she pays me for the week.

I totally understand that she may have needed more time for the 3 inches of snow we got. But She showed up here 15 minutes earlier than she should have. I felt like a total a** because I wasn't prepared. but really I didn't know what to say.

I really like them and at this time they are my only family I care for. I don't usually have any complaints about them but I WAS SOOO ANNOYED this morning!!!!! It completely threw me off, and her excessive knocking on the door made my dog bark and woke up my two children....yeah for me...great way to start the morning.
at least I wasn't in the shower....then she really would have had to wait :-)

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I would just let it go. In my mind, arriving a little early is not a big deal, but when it is SIX THIRTY in the morning and you are the first arrival, it is very discourteous to arrive even two minutes early. She's probably just stressed and taking her early morning frustration out on you. Don't worry about a thing!

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15 minutes early without prior notice would have had ME annoyed. I still would have been down at the barn and would tell her come on down hoping she would slide in something messy in her high heels

Nah, I would have understood about the commute and been gracious UNTIL she got huffy with me over her CHOICE to ignore the opening time. Then I would have "corrected" her. " I am sorry you are stressed out this morning, but I do not open for another 15 minutes and you have woken up my family. You know that will be a $15 charge, today. Next time just give me a call and I will be ready and waiting for FREE. Ok?" Smile big...

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haha, I always associated your username as "Catheter" and found that odd! But now I see the image...CAT Herder. I get it now!

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I completely disagree about letting it go.

Why does everyone always say they "feel bad" when a parent gets away with something extremely annoying and rude? Why should you?


I would make it VERY clear to her that you do NOT open even ONE minute early for any reason, and that knocking on the door early/causing the dogs to bark/waking your own children early is completely unacceptable. Honestly, you are in NO way in the wrong here, no matter what time you got up today!

I'm not saying that you have to be mean or b----y about it, but I'd definitely address it with her if I were you. I'm sorry that you had a bad start to your morning.

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I can let alot of things go, and I never care if a parent that normally starts at 7am is here at 6:45, because I am always awake by then.....no big deal.
BUT, that I would not let go, Yes she might have had a frustrating morning, but man she owes you an apology! That was just rude, I would be pissed is someone arrived at my house that early, banging on the door, I also have a dog, who would have rose hell, that is so inconsiderate, and you have young kids, I do also.............so I would have to call her and leave her a voice mail if she didn't answer or talk to her, I wouldnt be mean about it at all but I would say
" I just have to call, because I really didn't think things went so well this morning......I thought the banging on my door so early, was a little over board, while I would have no problem opening a little early with the bad weather, you have to at least inform me, I was up late, so slept late this morning, and I don't open until 6:30, so you can't just show up whenever, and get mad at me, both of my kids were then awake, because of the banging and the dog barking"

I don't know, I guess maybe its hard, they are your only family, so I'm sure you don't want to lose them, and if you really make the parent mad, that sucks, but I think she would understand and feel pretty bad about it...hopefully.....I have one parent that brings her daughter at 6am, and I just got out of the shower one morning, and realized it was 6, and I started to hear some light tapping........no banging yelling, its early and she knows that.......if she were to bang on my door, I would be furious that early. Completely uncalled for.

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Too funny!!

Normally I agree with no exceptions, but we get snow here maybe once every two years and people are TERRIFIED of it. If it were something pretty routine I would tell her to put on her big girl panties and deal like everyone else.

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All of my families are told that if my front porch light is not on, then I am not ready for the children, and they are to wait in the driveway until they see the light go on. I open at 7:00 a.m., and have never missed that opening time, but then I've never had a parent show up at 6:45 without asking me if it's okay ahead of time (even if it's a quick phone call on their way over). Your dcm definitely has a pair of steel ones on her, I'll give her that much!

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I love that idea about the porch light...fantastic idea!

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I totally agree with everything in this post !! I also do the porch light thing..if it isnt on then my clock does not say 6:45 - and I use computer time so its real time !

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I agree 100% with this. Like some very wise provider said on this forum, if you don't follow your own policies how do you expect them to?

I also agree tha by no means do you have to get nasty or show her that you were irritated at her however. When she picks up today just smile and lightheartedly say something like "Haha you caught me off-guard this morning since I'm usually dressing around that time and you're not scheduled to be here until 6:30. Next time you need to bring DCG earlier than your scheduled time why don't you let me know the night before so that we can maybe work something out and I can be prepared and not in the middle of clasping my bra. Hahaha" Just remember to smile the whole way through and make it believable. You'll sound more pleasant and maybe she'll think twice about being irritated at you and instead think about how discourteous she was this morning and feel bad for you instead of you feeling bad for her.

I wonder why so many of us feel bad for them? Did you tell her that you'd let her come early this morning and then slept in? Nope, so not your fault. Don't feel bad for something that you had no control over. I'm just wondering if you've thought about how she just expected you to be awake and ready for her no matter what time she decided to drop off even though she agreed that her start time would be 6:30am. KWIM?

P.s. I also do the whole I'm not ready until my porch light comes on thing. You might even think about having it on a timer in case you think you might forget to turn it on some mornings.

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My money is on mom apologizing before you even say anything. That's what quality people do, when they realize they've taken out their bad day on someone undeserving. At least, this is what I hope happens- wouldn't that be great?

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thanks for the responses. It puts things in better prespective. I wasn't looking at it from the angle of why she thought that I would be up and ready. and your right I totally should have. they are amazing parents to deal with and I don't wanna cause a rift. My husband has said over and over again, don't get to close and Im not. But I feel we do have a good relationship as I love their child. But If i don't stand for my contract why would they.

such wonderful advice, that's why I come here.....so any one wanna give me advice on how to win the lottery LOL!!!!

I will start tomorrow with the outside light idea. ............she'll probably just come in the dark.

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Post a sign on the door reminding of the NEW POLICY!!!! If the light is off, I WON"T OPEN THE DOOR!

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This is what I do also. I open at 6:30 and generally I am up at 5:30 because I like that 'me' time, but without pre-approval there is no way in heck I am opening that door early. I would be annoyed also.

Sorry your day started off in such a crappy way, I hope it got better.

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Do you have an "early drop off fee"? I would explain that she was 15 minutes early and you were not informed. Tell her you will waive the fee this time because it was her first time doing it, but from now on the fee will be $1/minute early unless otherwise arranged in advance. If you don't do the early drop off/late pickup fee I would either do the light outside just how others do it or simply say you do NOT open before 6:30 and your doors are locked until then. Refer to the contract that she signed with her start time.

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I totally agree, don't open your doors til your starting time. If they are at your house early, they will not get in. I open my doors exactly what is contracted. I am in the shower, on the treadmill, eating my breakfast, etc. before I open my locked door. I had someone They said they would be here around 7:30ish, they came at 7:00!!!!

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Here's my thing on them showing up early: Don't do it. Or if you do, you will wait outside a locked door until my open time. I have a family who are my first ones at 7am, but usually they are here more like 7:05. Every once in awhile, she used to show up 5, 10, even 15 min early. Like a dummy, I would rush and open the door, even if I hadn't gotten dressed yet. After several times of this (granted, it was only a few times over many months, but still) I just stopped opening the door early. I knew she was there, but I would run water, flush the toilet, etc., just hoping she could hear the water running from where she was on the front porch. Then at maybe 6:55, I'd open the door with my toothbrush still in my hand, or a hand towel like I was just drying my hands, etc. I'd say, "oh, you're early!" Next time I waited till about 6:58, next time exactly 7:00. Four times of it, and she hasn't done it since. In my "old" age (47!) I've taught myself not to feel guilty for something I'm doing RIGHT. I open at 7:00, not 6:45, 6:50, or even 6:55. No guilt.

Now, this is not to say I wouldn't open early if someone requested it. If there was a chance of snow on the news the night before, and she asked if she could come 10 or 15 min early if it ends up snowing, then yes. No problem. Or even if they called at 6:30 and said "it snowed 3 inches overnight, can I come at 6:45?" Yes, I'd do that. It's when they show up unannounced that doesn't fly with me. It's disrespectful, and shows that they think I'm just here for them whenever they need me. Nope. It's a business. Respect it.

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If you need another in agreement count me in. I use every last minute to get ready in the morning. Showing up even 5 mins early means I don't get something done whether it's getting my own kids dressed, finishing the last bites of my breakfast or sips of my coffee. The only time I agree to earlier than 7am is on the very first day to give parents some peace of mind that they are not rushing out the door. 10-15 min max and I know they are coming.

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