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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Discrimination???
wdmmom 07:42 AM 08-30-2011
Since most of us are self employed and own and operate our own daycares in home, would it be discrimination if we chose not to work for someone only because of the potential problems that could arise?

I don't know about anyone else, but I have found it extremely difficult to work for young mothers.

They seem to be very immature, pay late, doesn't follow your rules, don't call when they are going to be late or don't show up at all, usually party way too much, don't take proper care of their child, and the lies...OMG! Ridiculous!

Obviously it would be a case-by-case basis but have you turned young mothers away because you seen trouble before it started?

I am really considering doing extensive interviewing before working for another young mom.

I was a young mom too but I went to school and worked 2 part time jobs. From what I've seen, young moms here are all about living it up and partying. Not working or taking responsibility. SAD!
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Blackcat31 07:46 AM 08-30-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
Since most of us are self employed and own and operate our own daycares in home, would it be discrimination if we chose not to work for someone only because of the potential problems that could arise?

I don't know about anyone else, but I have found it extremely difficult to work for young mothers.

They seem to be very immature, pay late, doesn't follow your rules, don't call when they are going to be late or don't show up at all, usually party way too much, don't take proper care of their child, and the lies...OMG! Ridiculous!

Obviously it would be a case-by-case basis but have you turned young mothers away because you seen trouble before it started?

I am really considering doing extensive interviewing before working for another young mom.

I was a young mom too but I went to school and worked 2 part time jobs. From what I've seen, young moms here are all about living it up and partying. Not working or taking responsibility. SAD!
I think that is the key. It isn't young or old moms IMHO, it is interviewing to find the proper fit. I have had good and bad young moms and some good and really bad old moms so I think it is all really in the interviewing.
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wdmmom 08:12 AM 08-30-2011
This mom hid it all so well! She came to the interview with DCD and portrayed themselves as a happy, young couple looking for daycare.

What I didn't know what that they weren't even together! I didn't find that out until DCM dropped off deposit and paperwork 3 days before DCG was to start!

It has full of drama and chaos since she started. If it wasn't the DCG's behavior or tantrums, it was DCM doing something stupid and not following the rules.

I do contracted hours. Pick up and drop off is the same everyday. DCM has been dropping off later in the morning and that's fine but it was 3 times last week and it has affected DCG's naptime. I told her that drop off needs to be the same and if it's going to fluctuate, I need notice on Friday for the upcoming week what the hours will change to. I also told her that she would be paying a higher rate for variable hours.

Yesterday DCM tried pulling a fast one on me. She said she was taking DCG to the doctor and that they would be late. (I wasn't falling for it. She wanted to be late so she could just pick her up late and that's not how it works here.) I told her no problem just to bring me a doctors note. A few minutes later the text messages started flying in saying there was nothing wrong with DCG and she doesn't need a note. So we go back and forth with me lastly saying, yes, she does need a note regardless of what the visit is for and that this is in my handbook and hasn't changed. Last text I got was that she was keeping DCG home. SUPER! Bring that note tomorrow! LOL Guess what?! She hasn't called, texted, or shown up at all today. Payment is due tomorrow too.

I require a 4 week notice to cancel so if I don't hear anything, I'll be filing small claims to collect my almost $600 and since I know where she works, I can garnish her wages too!

Love how young moms think they have one up on somebody who's just a little smarter and way ahead of the game!
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mismatchedsocks 09:01 AM 08-30-2011
I usually do a facebook and wicourts check before the interviewers even come. I had one family i turned away because mom had files 3 domestic abuse charges against her boyfriend in the last 6 months and he had some battery charges on his record. Mom had a dui, so at the point of the interview should not have been driving ( which she did ). I did not take them, because of this. I had one spot and interviewed 4 families so i had to turn down 3 anyway.
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Meeko 09:09 AM 08-30-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
This mom hid it all so well! She came to the interview with DCD and portrayed themselves as a happy, young couple looking for daycare.

What I didn't know what that they weren't even together! I didn't find that out until DCM dropped off deposit and paperwork 3 days before DCG was to start!

It has full of drama and chaos since she started. If it wasn't the DCG's behavior or tantrums, it was DCM doing something stupid and not following the rules.

I do contracted hours. Pick up and drop off is the same everyday. DCM has been dropping off later in the morning and that's fine but it was 3 times last week and it has affected DCG's naptime. I told her that drop off needs to be the same and if it's going to fluctuate, I need notice on Friday for the upcoming week what the hours will change to. I also told her that she would be paying a higher rate for variable hours.

Yesterday DCM tried pulling a fast one on me. She said she was taking DCG to the doctor and that they would be late. (I wasn't falling for it. She wanted to be late so she could just pick her up late and that's not how it works here.) I told her no problem just to bring me a doctors note. A few minutes later the text messages started flying in saying there was nothing wrong with DCG and she doesn't need a note. So we go back and forth with me lastly saying, yes, she does need a note regardless of what the visit is for and that this is in my handbook and hasn't changed. Last text I got was that she was keeping DCG home. SUPER! Bring that note tomorrow! LOL Guess what?! She hasn't called, texted, or shown up at all today. Payment is due tomorrow too.

I require a 4 week notice to cancel so if I don't hear anything, I'll be filing small claims to collect my almost $600 and since I know where she works, I can garnish her wages too!

Love how young moms think they have one up on somebody who's just a little smarter and way ahead of the game!
May I ask why you require a doctors note? She may well be lying to you about going to the docs...but late is late. What difference does it make where she was before she got to your day care?

If she said she was late because her mom was talking on the phone too long, do you require a note from her mom? Or stuck in line at the grocery store would require a note from the store manager? She said she was at the doctors...so she needs a note from the doctor?

I don't mean to be rude...she appears to be flakey and a liar....and that can be very irritating.....it just seems strange to require that she proves WHY she was late.

I do understand that if a child is sick, then they often need a note before returning to day care. But I have never required my clients to PROVE why they are late.
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Zoe 09:13 AM 08-30-2011
I have a young mom right now who's actually wonderful! She's going to school and only needs someone to watch her little one while she's in class. She pays in cash and usually pays two weeks ahead of time. She's overly prepared and trusts my judgement.

I've had an older mom (one my own mother's age) who would bounce checks, ignore my notes about her child's poor behavior, and many many more frustrations!

So I agree with PP in that it might seem that the young moms are the ones who give us problems, but it isn't always the norm. You just have to do an extensive interviewing process and don't ignore the red flags.
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youretooloud 10:04 AM 08-30-2011
I guess I discriminate against single Fathers. They don't have a concept of time, they don't have a concept of "Ready for the day", they don't have a concept of "Too sick for daycare".

I know it's just a generalization, and I shouldn't paint all single fathers with the same brush... it's just been personal experience.

I haven't had any trouble with young moms though.
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wdmmom 10:35 AM 08-30-2011
Originally Posted by Meeko60:
May I ask why you require a doctors note? She may well be lying to you about going to the docs...but late is late. What difference does it make where she was before she got to your day care?

If she said she was late because her mom was talking on the phone too long, do you require a note from her mom? Or stuck in line at the grocery store would require a note from the store manager? She said she was at the doctors...so she needs a note from the doctor?

I don't mean to be rude...she appears to be flakey and a liar....and that can be very irritating.....it just seems strange to require that she proves WHY she was late.

I do understand that if a child is sick, then they often need a note before returning to day care. But I have never required my clients to PROVE why they are late.
I require a note because she said she was taking DCG to the doctor. Great...get me a note. I have it in my handbook. Any trip to the doctor for any reason requires a note. I ask for a diagnosis and a care plan. If the child is being seen for a re-check or immunizations I require a note stating that the child is free of all disease, not contageous and able to attend to daycare.

I contract hours. Contracted hours are contracted hours. Not variable hours.

This is the same mom that lied about going to work on many occasions, switched jobs and went 2 weeks being unemployed and didn't even mention to me the job change. She still has yet to provide me a work telephone number and has violated practically every policy I have.

My handbook specifically states if your child is going to be late to call, text or email BEFORE their scheduled drop off time. She doesn't even do that.

And to start the text message off with I'm taking DCG to the doctor...yep, that means I need a note. Especially with it being Monday morning! How do I know she wasn't vomiting, had a fever, etc. all weekend. I would like to know what I'm exposing the other children to. KWIM?!
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Meeko 12:14 PM 08-30-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
I require a note because she said she was taking DCG to the doctor. Great...get me a note. I have it in my handbook. Any trip to the doctor for any reason requires a note. I ask for a diagnosis and a care plan. If the child is being seen for a re-check or immunizations I require a note stating that the child is free of all disease, not contageous and able to attend to daycare.

I contract hours. Contracted hours are contracted hours. Not variable hours.

This is the same mom that lied about going to work on many occasions, switched jobs and went 2 weeks being unemployed and didn't even mention to me the job change. She still has yet to provide me a work telephone number and has violated practically every policy I have.

My handbook specifically states if your child is going to be late to call, text or email BEFORE their scheduled drop off time. She doesn't even do that.

And to start the text message off with I'm taking DCG to the doctor...yep, that means I need a note. Especially with it being Monday morning! How do I know she wasn't vomiting, had a fever, etc. all weekend. I would like to know what I'm exposing the other children to. KWIM?!
OK! that makes sense now! I thought you were asking her to prove she was telling the truth on why she was late!
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Crazy8 12:47 PM 08-30-2011
I don't consider it discrimination to find the right fit for your daycare. But I don't believe in stereotyping either. I am sure there are a TON of responsible young moms out there and I'd hate for them to be penalized for the flaky ones.

I've wondered about the discrimination thing in the past though and that's why I won't give a reason for not accepting anyone other than the standard "I don't believe this will be the best fit for the child or the daycare".
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wdmmom 03:02 PM 08-30-2011
Funny enough, DCD texted me today telling me DCG won't be back because DCM doesn't think it's a good fit. After almost 7 months?! Is that what you call it?!

I call it: this provider's been around the block a time or two and you can't pull your bullcrap with me!

I know for a fact that the DCG wasn't taken to the doctor. This all became an issue when I said to bring me a note. She knew she was caught! haha

It's all good though. I have an interview already on Thursday!

Buh bye stressful family and the drama that they brought!!!
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PitterPatter 04:05 PM 08-30-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
Funny enough, DCD texted me today telling me DCG won't be back because DCM doesn't think it's a good fit. After almost 7 months?! Is that what you call it?!

I call it: this provider's been around the block a time or two and you can't pull your bullcrap with me!

I know for a fact that the DCG wasn't taken to the doctor. This all became an issue when I said to bring me a note. She knew she was caught! haha

It's all good though. I have an interview already on Thursday!

Buh bye stressful family and the drama that they brought!!!
BUT will you be getting your full pay owed now?

I don't think it's discrimination if you feel the people are the party type so you decline but to say ALL young girls and not accept any then yeah kinda. It would be like me saying I don't take ANY subsidised clients because they are all the same. I know there are some good ones out there but I tend to think the same as you do when I see 1 coming "OH NO" I take them anyway because that's all that's around here really since the income guidelines are set to allow a high income. I have had a good family in the past but it's rare that BOTH kids and parents are well suited.
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daycare 04:07 PM 08-30-2011
its your business, you decide who you want to do business with. You have the right to refuse service to anyone. NOW if you are going to say I won't allow them in my daycare because of sex, race, religon, disability, then that would be.

I think that disrespectful people come in all shapes, sizes and ages. I do understand what you are saying, as most young mothers are just clueless. DOn't flame me, I said MOST, not all. I have had both sides....

GLad to see that they did term care with you. I bet it felt like a ton of bricks was just lifted....

i thought about creating an interview question sheet for new clients looking to enroll, but then I thought well, they could just lie about it on there too and one way or another I would have to find out the same way. What I did decide to do was extend my trial period to 30 days instead of 2 weeks. This way I can say bye at any time during this time.....
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wdmmom 04:31 PM 08-30-2011
I feel amazing! I feel bad for the DCG because daycare was probably the only consistency she had in her life but DCM and her drama and lying was just too much for me.



As of right now, she is suppose to come Friday to pay. If she doesn't show, I will send a certified letter on Monday demanding payment in 5 business days or I will file small claims charges.

DCD thanked me so much for my service and asked if he could refer friends to me! I liked him. He's a good guy.
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Tags:discriminate, doctor's note, interview, interview - discriminate
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