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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Do You Handle This?
Heart12 04:10 PM 08-18-2016
Next week is DCB last week here, the family is moving out of state. DCB is always the last to leave & every night I always give a quick rundown about the day, & I also send home a daily report. DCM always stays for at least 20min talking about random stuff, even though I try my best to keep it short. Whenever this particular DCM picks up & my Husband isnt home, my preschooler gets super loud & runs crazy through our tiny house. DCM usually says stuff like, "wow! you have a lot of energy!" But lately I've been feeling like she is passively reprimanding my child. Today preschooler asked me something & DCM interrupted with, "Please!" DCM said something about my kid being full of energy again today, & (embarrassed) I said, Idk why this only happens when you pick up (honestly!!) & she said, oh it doesnt when SA Dad picks up? I told her no, my child usually hides because shes afraid of him. (he really does look scary) DCM told my preschooler that acting like that must hurt SA Dad's feelings. I dont understand why she feels the need to constantly say something to my kid! Its not like the kid is out of control, I think DCM is just taking up too much of my time every night!

So how do you handle this? I do not want parents telling me how to raise my child or run my daycare. Especially when they see only a snap shot of the entire day.

Also, how do you handle getting "Chatty-Cathy" out the door at the end of a long day? This DCM is suuuuper sweet, so I dont want to lose it on her. After next week I wont have to deal with this from her, but I want to be prepared in case it happens with another parent! TIA!
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Baby Beluga 04:43 PM 08-18-2016
Can you have your child out of the room doing another activity while DCM is picking up? When she starts to chat just say "I have to check on Sally, have a great night!" while simultaneously ushering DCM and DCB out the door?
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Crazy8 05:38 PM 08-18-2016
I have one of these too! She is the first one in the door yet 2-3 other families can come in and be gone before I get her out the door. She will literally stand there while I move on to talk to another family. I have all the ideas of what I should say/do in my head but I am bad with actually coming out with them.
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daycare 06:46 PM 08-18-2016
keep it real...


hey mom billy has his shoes on and is ALL ready to go, see you tomorrow. Then walk away.

If they linger, say:

I would love to have you stay, but it is time for MS. Provider to be off work now, we are closed. See you tomorrow or on Monday. Have a great weekend.

If the linger, open the front door and stand there and just say, see you tomorrow or Monday....

you will feel uncomfortable doing it at first, but the more you do it, the better you will get at it.
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Luke25 07:18 PM 08-18-2016
Yes that's super annoying and a very awkward thing to handle. My mom has done childcare for 20+ years and she had some that would want to stay for an hour!!
She eventually got to where she addressed it in the interview. She asked that parents come to the door, wait outside and that she would bring them out to them and that she can't sit and talk (all explained in the nicest way possible)
My child would be the same way. He is nuts when I try and talk to people. She shouldn't reprimand him though. She should notice that SHE is causing the issue and leave!!
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LovetheSun 07:27 PM 08-18-2016
When the children are a bit crazy at pick up, I think is just because they need the attention from their parents or us. Aren't all Preschool a bit crazy at pick up

Is normal for your little girl to run around, is HER time! Maybe mentionning that at the end of the day, pick ups must be quick because your child need your attention after sharing you all day (and her house) will help.
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LovetheSun 07:29 PM 08-18-2016
Oh and the back packs are by the door so if we want to make it quick we could just say "Go get your stuff" then I walk there with them so the parents must follow.
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Leigh 08:30 PM 08-18-2016
Originally Posted by Heart12:
Next week is DCB last week here, the family is moving out of state. DCB is always the last to leave & every night I always give a quick rundown about the day, & I also send home a daily report. DCM always stays for at least 20min talking about random stuff, even though I try my best to keep it short. Whenever this particular DCM picks up & my Husband isnt home, my preschooler gets super loud & runs crazy through our tiny house. DCM usually says stuff like, "wow! you have a lot of energy!" But lately I've been feeling like she is passively reprimanding my child. Today preschooler asked me something & DCM interrupted with, "Please!" DCM said something about my kid being full of energy again today, & (embarrassed) I said, Idk why this only happens when you pick up (honestly!!) & she said, oh it doesnt when SA Dad picks up? I told her no, my child usually hides because shes afraid of him. (he really does look scary) DCM told my preschooler that acting like that must hurt SA Dad's feelings. I dont understand why she feels the need to constantly say something to my kid! Its not like the kid is out of control, I think DCM is just taking up too much of my time every night!

So how do you handle this? I do not want parents telling me how to raise my child or run my daycare. Especially when they see only a snap shot of the entire day.

Also, how do you handle getting "Chatty-Cathy" out the door at the end of a long day? This DCM is suuuuper sweet, so I dont want to lose it on her. After next week I wont have to deal with this from her, but I want to be prepared in case it happens with another parent! TIA!
I feel that this is happening because she's hanging out so long. #1, your child is comfortable around her because she stays so long. #2, your child is anxious for her to leave so she can have you to herself (finalllllly, after a long day of daycare). The solution is to get that woman out the door ASAP.
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laundrymom 06:07 AM 08-19-2016
I would simply say
"Its her time with me alone. She shares me all day and she's waiting for you to leave so I can just be her mommy. "
Smile and open the door.
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Heart12 06:54 AM 08-19-2016
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I would simply say
"Its her time with me alone. She shares me all day and she's waiting for you to leave so I can just be her mommy. "
Smile and open the door.
THIS. I could totally say this & not feel weird! Thank you every one for the advice! Instead of telling my child to calm down, Im gonna try to get DCM out of here faster. I find that every infant parent wants to stay & talk forever at drop-off & pick-up time.
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childcaremom 06:58 AM 08-19-2016
I found it helpful to have the kids outside at pick up time. I can walk in and away from the last one. Or, if we are inside, I like to have the kids dressed and ready to go, quick hand off to mom and dad, and a few lines: "Dcb had a great day. See you tomorrow!" as you usher him out the door.
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Heart12 07:05 AM 08-19-2016
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
I found it helpful to have the kids outside at pick up time. I can walk in and away from the last one. Or, if we are inside, I like to have the kids dressed and ready to go, quick hand off to mom and dad, and a few lines: "Dcb had a great day. See you tomorrow!" as you usher him out the door.
I like the outside idea! It has been disgustingly hot in my state lately, so we have only been able to get outside in the morning but this is a good idea. This child is an infant so she is already dressed, bag packed & ready to go. I give DCM a quick rundown & she knows details will be on the daily log, but she just always wants to stick around to talk about things that are NOT daycare related
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Mike 07:43 AM 08-19-2016
Originally Posted by Heart12:
I find that every infant parent wants to stay & talk forever at drop-off & pick-up time.
Originally Posted by Heart12:
but she just always wants to stick around to talk about things that are NOT daycare related
I'm betting she doesn't have many friends or family and is lonely, hopes that since you care for her child, you might want to be a friend, or at least someone she can chat with.

You've been working all day and want to close up and get to your family. It's no different than any job. When the day is done, most people want to go home.
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Heart12 08:26 AM 08-19-2016
Originally Posted by Mike:
I'm betting she doesn't have many friends or family and is lonely, hopes that since you care for her child, you might want to be a friend, or at least someone she can chat with.

You've been working all day and want to close up and get to your family. It's no different than any job. When the day is done, most people want to go home.
I was thinking the same thing this morning when she stayed for almost an hour talking at drop-off. Maybe she just doesnt have anyone to talk to? It doesnt bother me if you want to chat at drop-off as long as it isnt disrupting my day- butttttt then she started telling the SA in my care to do things & I just sat quietly like an idiot
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Cat Herder 08:39 AM 08-19-2016
Originally Posted by Heart12:
she stayed for almost an hour talking at drop-off.

It doesnt bother me if you want to chat at drop-off as long as it isnt disrupting my day-

butttttt then she started telling the SA in my care to do things & I just sat quietly like an idiot
But it does bother you. Clearly. You can't give a little without it escalating into a lot. You see that, now.

Drop off and pick ups should be quick. Time spent with an adult should not be time taken from a child in your care. That is how you explain it to parents.

If a parent needs to talk they schedule a conference. The only person you can change is you.
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rosieteddy 08:48 AM 08-19-2016
After some years of dealing with a lot of this i changed drop off and pick up policies.Instead of coming into my space I met them at the door.I have parent say goodbye child and I come in.Shut and lock door.At pick up same parent if not picking up at same as everyone else called I brought child ready to leave bye bye at door back to others.If we were outside I would leave yard for a quick walk around block.Children held onto stroller (safety straps).Parents took child put them in car .Child got sticker if did not fuss at parents worked great.Winter I set up reading chairs and bench.THIS WAS AT FRONT DOOR EVERYONE WAS READY TO GO AND READING IN THEIR SEAT.pARENT CAME ONLY THAT CHILD GOT UP SAID HELLO TO PARENT GOT THEIR STICKER AND LEFT.This was all explained in interview...Parents were told that children acted up when they came and it made everyone crazy.
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childcaremom 09:02 AM 08-19-2016
Originally Posted by rosieteddy:
After some years of dealing with a lot of this i changed drop off and pick up policies.Instead of coming into my space I met them at the door.I have parent say goodbye child and I come in.Shut and lock door.At pick up same parent if not picking up at same as everyone else called I brought child ready to leave bye bye at door back to others.If we were outside I would leave yard for a quick walk around block.Children held onto stroller (safety straps).Parents took child put them in car .Child got sticker if did not fuss at parents worked great.Winter I set up reading chairs and bench.THIS WAS AT FRONT DOOR EVERYONE WAS READY TO GO AND READING IN THEIR SEAT.pARENT CAME ONLY THAT CHILD GOT UP SAID HELLO TO PARENT GOT THEIR STICKER AND LEFT.This was all explained in interview...Parents were told that children acted up when they came and it made everyone crazy.
This is how I do it, too, now.

I had dcps drop their children, I'd think they had left, and then found out that they had gone through the upstairs of my house. Now they don't get the opportunity.

And I tell potential dcps at interviews that The Wandering Dcp is the reason why I do it this way now.
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Heart12 10:11 AM 08-19-2016
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
But it does bother you. Clearly. You can't give a little without it escalating into a lot. You see that, now.

Drop off and pick ups should be quick. Time spent with an adult should not be time taken from a child in your care. That is how you explain it to parents.

If a parent needs to talk they schedule a conference. The only person you can change is you.
Ugh. You're SO right! You cant give an inch because they take a mile!! & I KNOW this Lesson learned. Thanks so much!
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Mike 10:30 AM 08-19-2016
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
This is how I do it, too, now.

I had dcps drop their children, I'd think they had left, and then found out that they had gone through the upstairs of my house. Now they don't get the opportunity.

And I tell potential dcps at interviews that The Wandering Dcp is the reason why I do it this way now.

Excuse me, I'm going to go tour your house now. But then some parents might just say, sure, come on over.
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Blackcat31 01:16 PM 08-19-2016
A majority of chatty parent stay to chat because they are avoiding having to go home and parent their child.

I handle chatty parents much differently now but when I first opened, I used to tell them I'd love to chat but it has to be in the morning not at pick up. Morning cuts into THEIR work time NOT mine. It usually stopped the second they realized it was tough to make it to work on time.
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Tags:buh-bye outside, lingering, lingering parents, lingering parents - at drop off
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